As in the zone, a prison residence permit enters the hut. How to survive in prison

In the cells of youngsters and first-timers there is a rather aggressive audience, familiar with the prison law only by hearsay. And not every recidivist knows this law to the end. Pioneers usually understand prison law as the power of the physically stronger over the weak. And they begin to play prison, thinking that they are fulfilling its law, and not knowing that they are violating this law and someday they will pay dearly for it. How do they play? They bully newbies. Registration is most often arranged in such cells.

If they don’t get up with special cruelties during registration, then it looks more like a game. It is distributed mainly in the "youngsters", and in the "adult" (that is, in the cells for adults), the same young people usually prescribe their own peers. At the same time, there are some restrictions: it is impossible to register "microns" - those who are under 16 - and prisoners aged from thirty, those who were badly injured, who came to the cell badly beaten, too. As, of course, those who do not have the first walker.

- And how are they prescribed?

They make riddles different to guess. Dive from a plank bed, beat your head against a wall with a running start, and so on - all this is called "jokes". There are several hundred such jokes, you can’t remember them all, and every generation of prisoners adds something of their own to the well-known ... They throw, for example, a broom at you: “Play the balalaika.” You have to throw it back: "Tune the strings." Lead to the battery: "Play the harmonica." You answer: "Spread the furs." They arrange a "wedding": "What will you drink: wine, vodka, champagne?" Answer: Wine. Pour you a mug of water - drink. They ask the same again. You answer: "Vodka". Again pour a full mug - drink. And so they will pour, and you will drink until you say to the toastmaster: "The same as you." And other nonsense. It's not so much your ingenuity being tested, but your knowledge. You know jokes - yours. But this, of course, is trifles. They can even arrange a more serious test: they will blindfold them, put them on the upper bunk, tie them to it by the scrotum: "Jump." If you don't jump, if you're afraid, you'll sign your own sentence. If you jump, it turns out that it’s okay, they tied you with a thread, which immediately broke off, although you didn’t see it, but from fear you thought it was with a rope. Or: "What do you want to become - a pilot or a tanker? - A pilot. - Jump upside down." You jump and get caught. They should at least get caught, because if you crash, those responsible will be held accountable for it. Or, in the camp jargon, they will be presented with it.

The registration has another meaning. The first acquaintance with the prison can simply kill any pioneer, drive him crazy - it's so hard. In the first hours of captivity, a person is in shock. And registration distracts him from this state, makes him actively join in new life. Well, the camera will know better what kind of person you are: rotten - not rotten, weak in spirit - strong (“spiritual”), cheerful - gloomy, selfish or ready to suffer when necessary, for society, etc. But in general, registration with the correct concepts is not approved, because the game there very often turns into a mockery. The “lowered” (we will talk about them later) most often end up in a pre-trial detention center, and not in zones.

Now, in general, registration for beginners is less likely to be satisfied than before. Especially in a normal cell.

- What is a "normal camera"?

The one in which reigns not the power of the fist, but the prison law. This law is very harsh, but it is fair. In the part that concerns the meeting of new prisoners, he says: prison is your home. A man has come - first of all say hello to him. Do not bother him with questions: why did he sit down, how was it? The lads - that is, the inhabitants of the cell - must tell the new person about everything, show everything, and only after that ask for violations of the prison law, if he allows such violations. A person who has just come from freedom, according to the prison law (which is also called "correct concepts", "correct life"), is pure. In the wild, he could be anyone and do anything, but here he begins a new life. He is a baby, and there is no demand from him. This is the "number one" rule - you can not ask a person for breaking a norm that he does not know about. And my advice to you: if you get there, start a new life immediately. Consider that if you are destined to ever go free, then this will be a gift of fate. But your main life will now take place in prison. And how it goes on depends 90% on your first steps.

- And what are the other orders in a normal cell?

In prison, the prisoners often do not say “camera” among themselves, but “hut”. Neighbors in the walking yard will knock on the wall: “Hey, guys, what kind of hut? That is, even this wretched living space is perceived as a house, settled down. Even if you are sitting alone, in a few days you have already settled it, you know where everything is, and the whole space seems to be spiritualized. From an interrogation or from a call, you enter the cell, and a feeling of a native corner appears.

So in a prison, a normal hut will sound like this: the right hut. And the orders in the right hut are basically the same as in the right people at will. I came from a long distance, that is, from the toilet - wash your hands. You sit down at the table - take off your mold (jacket). When someone is eating, you can not use the bucket. When everyone listens to music or some kind of program - too. You can’t whistle - you’ll whistle the deadline. You can’t take dirty linen out of the hut, that is, without special need to tell other cameras about what is happening in your hut.

You don't owe anything to anyone. Nothing can be taken away from you - especially this concerns rations "from the owner". And even asking you for something is considered dishonorable.

Another point is cleaning the camera. In a prison of the same order as in the army - the greenhorns scrub the floor, but the grandfathers are bastard - no. Everyone should take turns cleaning the cell, absolutely everyone. I was told by a former cellmate of the famous thief Vasya Brilliant that he cleaned the camera, washed the bucket on an equal basis with everyone else. And when someone asked him a question about this, he explained that according to the prison law, it is considered shameful to do something for another, to serve another, and the person himself must clean up after himself. “Now, if I could fly,” said Vasya Brilliant, “then it would be a different matter. And since I walk on the floor, why don’t I sweep it?” No one has the right to force you to clean your cell out of turn as a punishment either.

If, nevertheless, you end up in the wrong cell, where they won’t explain anything to you, and you see a person who is lying under the bunks or by the bucket, with whom no one is talking, do not approach him. In general, at first look closely at what is happening around. Look closely, shut up, do the same as everyone else. And just like everyone else. Even if it seems crazy or funny to you.

Concerning contentious issues, they must be resolved peacefully. There should be no fights, insults among the lads - this is also required by the correct concepts. In extreme cases, to resolve controversial issues, there is access to other cameras. Ask them what is allowed and what is not.

- How do we ask them?

In prisons, people show fantastic ingenuity. To get a fire by friction or from a light bulb, to saw through a grate with a shoe, to boil a chifir in a newspaper, to throw a note on a neighboring street - they know how to do all this there. They will make everything out of nothing, if there is time. There is communication between cells in any prison, but it is not organized everywhere in the same way. The simplest thing, when the inspector moved away from the door, is simply to shout through the bars (“from tails”): such and such a hut ... True, inter-chamber communication in the pre-trial detention center is one of the most serious violations of the regime of detention ...

You can do it this way: you pump out the water in the toilet with a broom or a rag: a sewer pipe is like a telephone. Through it, with a certain skill, you can transfer anything you like: tea, cigarettes, notes. You can take a mug, attach it to a heating pipe and shout into her everything what you need - in other cells through the same mug they will hear and take note, or they will pass it on. You can launch a "horse": you make a fishing rod out of a newspaper tube and thread, tie a note with an address to it and put it behind bars - they will catch you lower. You can just chime in. Thirty letters of the Russian alphabet are taken, without soft and hard signs and "e". You place them vertically in a "cage" - five cells high, six cells wide. The letters in this cell are numbered: from 1 to 5 down and from 1 to 6 to the right. In this alphabet, "a" will be transmitted as follows: one hit - pause - one hit; "k" - two strokes - pause - five strokes, etc. If you and your interlocutor know Morse code - no problem at all. It is pointless to describe all possible ways.

It's better not to try, it's the same as learning to "Stirlitz". Maybe not immediately, but such an attempt will certainly end badly. Prison sharpens intuition, people there always feel when you're lying - this is the first thing. Secondly, it is easy to pretend in the wild, because there you pretend for an hour, two, well, a day. And in prison you are in sight around the clock. The most brilliant actor cannot live on stage all the time. He needs rest, otherwise he will make mistake after mistake. Thirdly, knowing Fenya is not enough to find mutual language with experienced prisoners. Here, after all, gestures, and hints, and certain habits, and demeanor are important. And what they showed in "Gentlemen of Fortune" is, of course, fantasy even at its core. The double of a thief cannot pass himself off as him if he himself has not been imprisoned. The very first prisoner with camp experience will split him.

Rather, on the contrary, it would be better if the convicts were played in the cinema by the convicts themselves. One of our best film directors, Alexei German, understands this. In his film “Check on the Roads”, prisoners of war were played by real convicts. And the protection of prisoners of war was also played by professionals - our own, native jailers. By the way, the convicts filmed there voluntarily, with the blessing of the camp authorities.

- By the way, about "Gentlemen". Is it true that the tattoo is a prisoner's passport? Are they being forced?

Until recently, this has been the case. According to the number of domes of the church, gouged out on the chest, one can count the number of "walkers" (it used to be the number of years spent in prison). If a cat in boots is depicted, then the owner of the tattoo is a pickpocket, if a circle with a dot inside on the forearm or above the upper lip is lowered, etc. And for tattoos that did not correspond to reality, they were punished. And they forcibly branded the same lowered ones. But all this before. Now tattoo professionals do not do at all - why do they need additional special signs? And roosters are also not stigmatized - they can be seen from a mile away. So a tattoo is usually a voluntary matter. Unlike our passport system.

Prominent thinkers of the past spoke about this at one time:

There are two chairs. On one peaks are sharpened, on the other x * and jerk off. Which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?

Plato: You can consider two chairs as a reflection of the dualism of soul and body. If a chair with x * yami symbolizes base bodily thoughts, then a chair with peaks reflects the militant aspirations of the eternal soul. I choose spades.

Aristotle: Knowledge of each individual property must be gained from experience, and therefore I will try both chairs. However, x * and I like it more.

Lao Tzu: I, perhaps, will stand.

Thomas Aquinas: Only God is the true being; wherefore, we should steadfastly endure all bodily torments, denying lust and dirty aspirations of the body. Therefore, I will sit on the peaks.

Michel Montaigne: A person cannot know the absolute truth, and therefore it makes no difference which chair to sit on.

Schopenhauer: human activity only malice, selfishness and compassion guide. So sit down on your own fucking chairs, asshole, and I'll sympathize with you a little.

Voltaire: But where are these chairs? In one place or everywhere without taking up space? I don't know anything about it. Are they made of the same substance? I don't know anything about it. Peaks sharp or f*cking jerk off? I don't know anything about it.

Rene Descartes: I am sitting on a chair, therefore I am.

Kant: The question of two chairs lies in the realm of antinomies pure mind. If a chair with x * y can be called a thesis, then a chair with spades is its antithesis. Considering that the solution of antinomies can never be found in experience, I will simply sit in front of these chairs and think for a long time, but in the end I will not choose anything.

Hegel: The answer to the questions that philosophy leaves unanswered is that they must be put differently. The third chair is missing here, on which there would be huge x * and studded with sharp spikes. Oops, did I say it out loud?

Marx: Let's just put the capitalists on a chair with dick and the imperialists on a chair with spades.

Freud: I think the answer is obvious.

Nietzsche: I'll put my feet on both chairs and dance because I'm crazy! Hurray for me!

Berdyaev: I'll take sharpened peaks, cut down x * and jerk off, every child here knows this.

Camus: In unspeakable despair, I will lie down on the floor near the chairs and stare at the ceiling. And then I'll die, like all of us.

Heidegger: From what chair should the meaning of being be read, what chair should be the starting point for discovering being? The question of two chairs is an existential question, learned through experience. But considering that experience always already takes place in the world and being, I will not sit on any. Look how many philosophers before me have already sat on them!

Derrida: A chair? What is a "chair"? What is "x*y"? What are "pikes"? These are just words. We are locked within the boundaries of our language and know the world only with the help of it. Therefore your question doesn't make sense.

Vladimir Ivanov

In a juvenile cell

Fragments from the book “Life in Prison”, which is being prepared for publication on the website of our magazine.

While I was stripping down to my shorts for a detailed raid, I was consistently asked typical personal questions: full name, when and where I was born, where I lived, what kind of education I received, and the like. (As my fellow prisoners explained to me after a long time, typical mistake, allowed by newcomers within these walls - do not guess to indicate as a sister or niece, your cohabitant or just a close acquaintance of a girl who could come for a long date provided at the camp to all s / c without exception, but only with relatives. Of particular importance to these first data was the fact that they are then copied, without changes and additional checks, to all papers compiled anew in the new place where the prisoner is kept: in prison, in the camp, on the roof.)

As a result of the search, I was left without laces, a belt, and without a metal badge from my pants, the expropriation of which was accompanied by a detailed commentary by the housekeeper on his duties “according to instructions”.

“Yes, choke on you, bastard,” I think, “just don’t pull the rubber as much as possible ...”

It was lucky that at least they didn’t take away the cigarettes, but in fact, as a youngster, they might not have missed it.

The cell (KPZ - pre-trial detention cell), which I eventually ended up in, looked more like an abandoned basement: a square, about three by three, poorly lit by a forty-watt, on the walls - a “fur coat” (hardened mortar, somehow thrown by the builders ), at a distance of about a meter from the threshold - the edge of the elevation, half a meter high, on it - parallel to the walls - metal trestle beds, above them - a small window, taken away by a frequent lattice. In the corner from the door there is a bucket, the water is opened by the keyman at the request of the prisoners. For the issuance of food in the door, a window was cut out - a “feeding trough”, closed the rest of the time with a lock. All freer space, allowing you to take several steps from one corner to another, is called the “stage”.

A somewhat residential appearance was given to the cell by a figure of an indefinite, worn-out look, crouched on the plank bed. When she got up, I examined a tired, wrinkled face with skin of an unhealthy, earthy hue, untidy stubble, a low forehead, wrinkled and dirty clothes - at first I was sure that he was at least fifty, but later I was surprised to learn that I was wrong about one and a half times.

“Here's a hanyga,” I thought displeasedly, without reacting in any way to some question of the “khanyga”, I sat down on a bunk under the wall, leaned on it and lit a cigarette. In response to the neighbor's request, he silently handed him a cigarette.

After a while, we got to talking. It turned out that Valek, as my cellmate was called, had already served several terms a couple of times. Now he "hit", according to him, for a knife accidentally found in his possession during a search.

I listened with half an ear to my random interlocutor, more absorbed in my own thoughts. Yes, and this Valek did not inspire confidence in me: for some reason he was somehow very keenly interested in the details of my episode. I don’t remember how harshly I said to him, but Valek suddenly fell silent, though not for long - it was generally difficult to embarrass him. I remember an excerpt from our conversation.

So are you a teenager? - it is not clear why Valek was delighted - Well, there is a complete madhouse there, the kids make such things!

What are you talking about? - I was worried.

You drive into the hut, - he began loquaciously, - and they arrange a residence permit for you: they ask all sorts of fucked-up questions, a bunch of all sorts of riddles, if you don’t answer, they hit you on the head with an oar ...

What other paddle? I asked in bewilderment.

Yes, that's what they call a spoon in prison, - the narrator dismissed, inspired by the signs of my attention to his tales. - Well, they also have games there, so the little ones go crazy there - just figure it out for yourself: they make you jump upside down from the top bunk, put your ass in a basin of water, or even set it on garbage.

Well there, some idiots gathered, or what? I squinted in disbelief.

There are also idiots, - Valek readily picked up, - whoever is not there. So, what do you want from children? They took away from the mother early, so they are weird.

Hey, maybe it's worth it to fill someone's face from the start, huh? (I have been playing sports for several years and therefore felt quite confident.)

That there are a bunch of them, about ten people, all together if they pile up, they will beat them, the camera is still. - Valek made an important look. - Yes, and there is a sharpening in the hut, you never know ...

I spent one night in the bullpen, and the next morning, after interrogation, I was taken to a prison - SIZO (pre-trial detention center).

My first impression of the prison I saw can hardly be called rosy: gray, administrative-type buildings, the windows are covered with thick bars and “accordions” - welded metal blinds that tightly enclose the prisoners from the outside world. From many windows stretch thin braided strings (“horses”), forming “roads” - along which notes (“ksivas” or “malyas”) wander from hut to hut, bundles (“packed”) with cigarettes, tea, food, medicines , in a word, everything that may be needed in everyday life.

It was gloomy, damp and unbearably reeking of a typical prison stench in the “sump” (the cell for holding all the prisoners brought before being distributed “to the huts”) - a mixture of the smells of sweat and a long unwashed body, tobacco smoke, rot and feces. There were few people, up to ten souls; some squatted along the walls, two, talking enthusiastically, walked around the cell - back and forth.

Doors opened every now and then: someone was taken away, calling out by name, someone was let inside - everyone was arriving. The thought arose that too many people were being transported in stages - even in such a large prison, there was a shortage of “boxes”. (“Boxik” is a tiny sump, meter by meter in size.)

Soon I also emerged into the corridor, having heard my last name. A whole column of youngsters has already lined up - anxious faces, fussy movements. A protracted procedure of searches began, answers to already familiar formal questions and other boring rigmarole. In an outstanding interval between these stages of “prescribing”, I found myself in a box with several youngsters. Small, frail, dressed in a gray robe of the same type, they discussed with an important, meaningful look the problems of some of their mutual acquaintances, either falling into the wrong house or “setting fire” on the hidden “stos” (i.e., causing the removal from the cell hidden cards). As soon as I didn’t listen, I couldn’t get into the essence of the conversations, so in the end I spat: “Some kind of nonsense!” My neighbor, a dark-haired, swarthy guy with a lively and intelligent look, smiled knowingly, catching my glance: “Sho, land, is this the first time here? Nothing, just sit and get used to it.”

Accompanied by a young sergeant, I crossed the prison yard and entered a tall, irregularly shaped building. The youngster occupied two floors in it.

Kapterka, where the personal belongings of prisoners were kept, and minors were given a mandatory robe standard pattern and issued mattresses, bedding, bowls and spoons - was at the very end of a long corridor. On both sides of the passage there are cell doors with numbers marked with paint.

Annoyingly gets on the nerves is a common habit among controllers (or “popcars,” as they are called here) at any given opportunity to be interested in your “delyuga”: what kind of article? what did you steal? Or who did you kill? how much? how did you get it? etc. (It is not surprising that some of these curious people themselves are caught stealing, even with the sad outcome of most such attempts before their eyes.) Some of the prisoners are only glad of such unexpected luck: having developed communication skills, in a casual conversation, they easily establish warm semi-friendly relations with inexperienced young (although age has no of great importance) controllers. Such connections give rise to a “road” even to any end of the prison, even to freedom - and you can send a note and buy “whatever you want”, of course, if buying a place does not take much ... This is how a talented storyteller kills two birds with one stone - and develops his abilities, having found an audience, and acquires the necessary horses.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at me in the cell.

Well, come on in, throw the roll, - with a nod in response to my greeting, said a short, high-cheeked boy.

Conversations began, questions, mental searches for possible common acquaintances, in a word, as everywhere where a newcomer enters the team. Of course, there were also some features general manner hold on: slight alertness, inner composure, however, even if the youngster did not have her naive and eccentric traditions, the place itself, the prison, would invariably leave an imprint of seriousness and some kind of solemnity on the relationship of children growing up in a very difficult environment.

The ages of my cellmates varied: tiny Vanya, who looked no more than twelve years old, had in fact recently turned fourteen, and tall Rustam, whose face was hidden by thick stubble, could be mistakenly attributed to all twenty-three.

Accordingly, their development also differed: someone else is drawn to play with soldiers, and someone longingly recalls girls, restaurants and other indispensable conditions for a “beautiful life”.

The atmosphere in the cell could not be called tense or unnatural; in general, the contingent was selected very well: those who were clearly prone to conflict were not noticed, and there were no fools trying to ignore the opinions and interests of others. Time passed imperceptibly, youth does not endure prolonged melancholy and sadness: games, anecdotes, live disputes, storytelling; among us there were those who could, for an hour, or even for several, capture the attention of the rest with a retelling of a once-seen “vidik” or a read book, and maybe their own adventures, which is fascinating for children's ears. Naturally, what was once seen or experienced inevitably acquired numerous fantastically vivid details of the imaginative narrator, but almost no one tried to catch him in a lie, unless he was lying too much.

We were especially lucky with Bison, who represented the external opposite of the image that arose in the imagination of those who heard his nickname - a thin, nimble boy of about sixteen. Lively, impetuous, easily carried away by flights own fantasy, this guy had an extraordinary talent for storytelling - he was able to present the most ordinary story in such a way that the listeners only opened their mouths.

Undoubtedly, Bison was the soul and heart of our cell - cheerful, full of boyish enthusiasm, as if sparkling with light, transparently pure energy. In addition, he was completely devoid of ambition, making no effort to win leadership in the chamber. All the boys loved Bison and appreciated him for his ability to cheer up anyone in no time, for his openness and always ready to empathize and understand someone's feelings. On the other hand, his frivolity, reaching to perfect recklessness and neglect of the obvious requirements of rationality, would never allow this daredevil to take the place of the main authority.

The decisive vote in a young prison (or in a cell) belongs to the “old man”, i.e. currently here the longest. It is clear that such a person is among the “worthy”. Everyone who “drops in” into the hut and manifests himself as a complete dumbass, coward, scoundrel, traitor, homosexual, etc., is “broken” from the hut. Usually the educator (the officer who oversees order among youngsters) carries out such a transfer without unnecessary resistance in this case, otherwise the consequences may be bad. “Bokopor” goes to another cell, already less “travel”, or even immediately to the “harem”, a place where all the “offended” (“roosters”, to put it rudely, but more accessible) gather.

At the youngster, as nowhere else, old traditions are still preserved, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity and providing for the observance of even minor trifles. It should be noted that over time the most stupid and absurd customs disappeared. For example, I did not find the folly that took place here in the 70s, such as putting nifels (bowls) full of gruel on the head when an airplane flew over the prison; opening packs of “Prima” with kicks or flatly refusing to meet with her mother, who put on a red dress (red - vpadlu, red - musorskaya).

If we put aside everything excessive and too stupid, then in the laws of the youngster you can find a solid rational grain: the established framework of behavior cultivates a sense of inner composure and responsibility for the words spoken and actions done, instill the habit of accuracy.

From here also originates the laying of the foundation of the prisoner's worldview, the stone on which the concept of the unity of all decent convicts is based, that which allows them to resist the harmful influence of hostile conditions and preserve, even strengthen and develop the most valuable asset of the spirit.

Of course, “lawlessness” also happens in a youngster - a case of a gross violation of the main principles of prisoner life. Among kids, this phenomenon usually occurs in the form of impudent taking away of food, cigarettes, money, things, forcible coercion to fulfill the duties of a “horse”, i.e. own servant, causeless beatings and - as the worst thing that can happen - "lowering".

In order to “lower”, it is not at all necessary to have sexual intercourse with the victim, it is enough to splash urine on him or touch his body with a naked sexual organ - and he is a person who has no future in prison. Even if in the future the wrong of the aggressor is proven, there is no way for the offended return back to a normal environment, he forever fell into the category of “unfortunate” (from the word “harem”), and his place is determined next to “roosters” (passive homosexuals), although the same attitude towards them, at least from the side of normal prisoners, of course, will not be.

Yes, and there is no such punishment - “lower”, only lawlessness can acquire such a form, which is suppressed by decent prisoners and very harshly.

Lawlessness is a more common phenomenon in “youngsters” than among adult prisoners. Perhaps this is a direct consequence young age, a serious offense can be committed thoughtlessly, on an inexplicable whim, and the bitterness of adolescents reaches unexpected strength.

In the early 90s, “propiska” was already beginning to gradually disappear: if a few years earlier, going through this procedure was mandatory for everyone who got into the “youngster”, now it was offered to those who could provide an opportunity to have plenty of fun.

The very meaning of this kind of testing is to test the intelligence and internal composure of a beginner. It is very important that he does not lose his head and manages to answer riddles correctly, and also does not drop his own dignity in the ongoing “games”. Based on the results, they look at what kind of attitude he deserves.

When Vitalik stopped by, the “hut” came to life a little: the appearance of a typical “brake”. Ridiculous, “frightened” behavior only confirms the first impression, so the decision of the “old man” did not surprise anyone:

You're going to register, understand?

Vitalik hastily nodded. There was fear in his bulging eyes.

Three days later, allotted by the “juvenile law” for a newcomer to get used to the new environment, Vitalik was seated in the middle of the circle, the general rules were briefly explained and ...

Why is Zhukov riding a white horse?

He probably needs it ... - Vitalik finally squeezed out of himself.

Not properly. Listen again, carefully only: po! what! jumping...

Having not received an answer, the "old man" patiently explained the answer: "On the ground!" First, he himself, and then everyone else, loudly clicked a spoon on Vitalik's forehead for each wrong answer.

Get under the bed! Like this. You mole, what do you see?

Vitalik, with tears in his eyes, looks at the book thrust under his nose, and suddenly decides:

Lo-o-oh.

The book is applied to his head - a thud with a fist. The question is repeated. Vitalik starts to sob.

Okay, let's take a break, - the “old man” decides after Bison whispered something in his ear ...

You can’t retell all the riddles, and they “help” remember (or think) the person passing the “residence permit” in different ways: either with a spoon, or with a fist in the forehead through a book, they can even heat them with a liter mug. Certain “puzzles” (“mulks”, as kids call them) are designed for the inattention of the “prescribed” to his own answer. Questions are pouring in from all sides:

Vital, the prosecutor climbed a pine tree, and your mother is sitting on a birch. What tree will you cut?

The face of the “fitting in” prisoner brightened a little: “Well, this is for the completely stupid!”

Rustam asked in a matter-of-fact way: “Are you going to sleep?” - and with a pull hit him in the forehead with a spoon. The sound turned out to be somehow viscous: a swollen, purple-red forehead was a pitiful sight.

Balls! Pig! Vanya hissed from the door, and a slow, drawn-out voice was immediately heard:

What are you kipish? What are you doing here?

Yes, everything is in a bunch, Palych, - Rustam slowly approached the door.

What, are you prescribing salabona? See that there are no incidents.

Pa-plum!

The peephole closed.

(Actually, both the educators and the higher administration are aware of what is happening at the “youngster”, but they intervene only as a last resort, realizing that the process of acquaintance under these conditions will inevitably have its own characteristics.)

The “games” began: Vitalik walked with a broom at the ready, dragging behind him a slipper tied to a rope and now and then correcting the nifel slipping from his head; sat down in a bowl of water; fell upside down from the bunk, while the rest suddenly pulled a blanket in front of the flying body ... The audience got the greatest pleasure from “pulling the cord”.

The beginner tied the end of a strong cord on the scrotum, the other (this time it was Bison) did the same operation with the end of another rope. The “rivals” were given the free end of someone else's cord in their hands - the task is to show stamina and pull so that the enemy surrenders first. Both are blindfolded. (Of course, Bison immediately removes the bandage, while others quickly tie up the cords, passing now one rope through the bunk post). “Pull! - Vitalik pulls the end with all his might and immediately screams in pain. Bison screams heart-rendingly nearby, making terrible faces at the poor fellow. The whole "hut" is full of sweat. And Vitalik, enraged by the sadism of the "rival", continues to pull, thinking nothing from the pain. Finally, the cord breaks.

The final chord is the retribution for all unsolved riddles at once: by their number they calculate how many cups of water to drink. Usually time is limited to days. Vitalik with great difficulty mastered his sixty "trombones", periodically running back to the "duke" to vomit.

Well, Vitalya, what are we going to do with you? - a little after he finished drinking the “last cup”, one of the “old-timers” of the cell turned to him, a frail, freckled boy. - Here we are looming from a neighboring hut, sho you were still pulled on a hat by freedom, was it?

Vitalik, who was staring blankly at the floor, did not react in any way. Frankly, I simultaneously had to experience the most conflicting feelings, looking at this pitiful, desperate figure, but my first reaction, like most, was aggression. To my shame, I must confess that she drowned out both pity, and sympathy, and compassion. However, I did not have the right to take part in the “propiska”, since I myself did not pass it.

Why are you in the cold, you plague? - the “old man of the hut” intervened. - So, really, why are you “leaky”?

As he continued to be sullenly silent, Rustam extended his long, massive hand and flicked his fingertips over his ugly swollen forehead. Vitalik suddenly jumped up and pushed his hand away.

What do you all want from me? - The cry turned out to be quite miserable: intermittent and breaking; tears prevented him from speaking, but his look showed despair.

They did not beat him hard, limiting themselves to a few cuffs, but this was enough for him to no longer try to express his indignation.

So sho, tell me how you were “sawed”.

But it wasn't like that. - His eyes seemed to me at that moment similar to those that a hunted animal should have.

Right? - the “old man” asked with doubt.

Exactly, yes, - the “accused” nodded his head, gaining hope this time to be justified.

Well sho guys, believe me? - "The accuser" with a serious look looked around the whole "hut".

It is necessary to check, - someone threw an idea.

Have you heard that the hut is a bazaar? Shaw, shall we check?

Vitalik hesitated, feeling another catch.

Are you changing?! Unclean?!

Let's check it out, he finally decided. - But as?

The procedure proposed to him was as follows: it was necessary, kneeling down, to lower your head into a basin of water; at this time, someone thrust a thin stick between his buttocks, and the rest watched to see if bubbles appeared on the surface of the water. As they explained to a person “in doubt”, if “there will be bulbs” - it means that he is unclean; otherwise - everything is in order.

It is clear that the main thing was to check how a newcomer would behave in a similar situation.

When Vitalik dipped his face into the basin, lifting his pink, pimply backside, and froze in anticipation of being “checked”, and the nondescript kid was already preparing to use the wand, Rustam could not stand it.

From the unexpected blow of a heavy boot, which contained part of an even heavier leg, Vitalik almost choked.

Collect your belongings, break, rooster, from here!

Nevertheless, it was decided to wait, although the delay seemed incomprehensible to me: no decent “hut” would keep such a clown. It’s another matter if he “didn’t fall for” the last shnyaga - they could still leave him as a “hostess” - bring it, give it, and so ...

The situation cleared up later, but at first the whispering around and the notes thrown around were perceived as props for a bad performance. It turns out that the same frail “caulker” managed to persuade Vitalik to “distort the shutter”, i.e. masturbate him. So that he could not be unlocked, an “invisible” correspondence was invented. For the service, the “konopatik” promised him patronage, although in fact he had no real weight in the hut.

Maybe the almost resigned Vitalik would have had to “dragon” anyone, if not for the intervention of Bizon. He unexpectedly started a whole scandal, refusing even a minute to stay with Vitalik in the same cell. In the end, he had to knock on the door.

The next day, on a walk, one of the huts on the other side of the “youngsters” building asked what kind of “bird” had come to them from us. In a conversation, we learned that Vitalik presented us as lawless people, but no one took his stories seriously. In order to dot the “and”, the culprit of the anxiety that arose was asked a few more questions from our hut, and then the “compromising evidence” was handed over to the neighbors in the form of notes. A minute later, in the courtyard behind the wall, the sounds of blows and screams were heard, drowning out someone's furious whisper: “... you bastard about ... I wanted a decent hut, wee ...”

The noise soon came running progulytsiki, "sung" and two more officers. You could hear the door being opened and someone running inside. The voice of the elder “sung”, Red; here's someone getting out. As soon as the door slammed shut, we called out to the neighbors:

Guys, who did they take?

It was already clear to everyone that Vitalik’s only refuge was the “harem” ...

In an attempt to establish a relatively controlled order in the cells, the educators are seated among the youngsters and adult “godfathers”, also with no permission, one per hut. On the “adult” they do not like them, rightly classifying them as a group of “hozbands” - snoops. Yes, and the youngsters themselves treat them with prejudice, not wanting to put up with attempts to limit their freedom of action. Some kids force godfathers to break, adhering to the old law: “godfather - downright”, others turn a blind eye to obsolete prescriptions of the past, looking at things more practically: if there is a godfather in the hut, there will be cigarettes, they won’t forbid him to smoke - he’s an adult . Accordingly, cigarettes that get into the camera will not be snubbed, and they will never take a “pack” from the “sung” one.

Be that as it may, how the youngsters will treat the godfather is a question that will be resolved by his own mind and will. I also had to hear respectful comments about the godfathers who were sitting in the cells, even after a long time, I heard swearing, and even stories about the bullying that those who did not manage to really take root in the cell were subjected to.

It is considered good manners to talk about your future convictions, carried away by the romanticism of prisoner traditions, or to discuss aloud the crimes planned in advance on a grand scale. Do not believe the deceptive appearance: even the most lost of them at first glance, in the depths of his soul, regrets his arrival here, only an insane person can want to be here again ...

Little Vanya had a very hard time: closed and silent, he rarely participated in chamber fun, most often secluded somewhere in a corner with an absent look and seemed to disappear from the cell. Once I approached him when he was pointlessly drawing something on the wall with his usual stare “nowhere”.

Van, what are you thinking?

For a while he was still hovering somewhere, then his gaze settled on me. I repeated the question.

Yes, nothing.

It was hard to get more from him. Only Bison could talk to Vanya, and even then not for long.

It happened that Vanya cried - at night, burying his face in a pillow. They didn’t touch him: let him, they say, cry out - he’s still small. Somehow the “old man of the hut”, a big-cheeked, angular boy in movements, who was the first to speak to me when I “came in”, could not stand it:

Stop whining! Set up a kindergarten here! Mom had to sit ... Calm down, I tell you!

He did not cry so loudly, to be honest, but, apparently, he himself was not feeling well at heart. The rudeness of the “old man”, probably, was not approved by anyone, but that's why he is an “old man”.

And then Bizon came forward with his improvisation. Having gone to the toilet out of necessity, he had already taken a few steps to the bunk, when he suddenly stopped and, as if sincerely indignant, turned to the “duchka” (toilet):

Shaw are you a bastard?

The whole hut, gaping, stared at him: as if Bison's roof had exploded.

Bison, - Rustam sat on the bunk, - with whom are you bazaaring?

Like "with whom"?! No, you look, sho this stink mine bazaar! - And, again turning to the "duchka": - Oh, you Conchita! Go there yourself! That you w, a pick-patch, sho you, bastard, are you bazaaring me, a traveling kid ?!

Everyone was already dying with laughter, and Bison, carried away, continued his monologue with inimitable artistry. I looked at Vanya - he burst into thin laughter, forgetting even to wipe his face shining with tears ... Later I learned that Vanya had come here “for rape”.

How is it, Rustam, - I wondered, - who and how could he ... - I made an eloquent gesture with my hands.

- "How", silently. The boys, a little older, went to cut some maramoyka, and he, the fool, decided to try. Rub for a hundred, he did not succeed, maybe, and the turn did not come. But the term is soldered for five years - Verochka ...

Sad thoughts visit everyone. In the first couple of weeks, I lost ten kilograms - my appetite was completely absent, I didn’t want anything - I was overcome by melancholy. Outwardly, I tried not to show this, but it is absolutely impossible to hide this.

Like everyone else, it was not easy for me to come to terms with the inevitability of the impending captivity, which threatened to last for many years. Worldly wisdom teaches that you have to pay for everything, but at that time I was far from humility. Youth is uncompromising and almost inevitably accompanied by dangerous extremes, in my case, overconfidence and self-centeredness.

The thought of escape did not leave me for a very long time: I was determined to use any opportunity that turned up, wherever it happened. When I was taken to the police department or the prosecutor's office, internally I was all compressed, like a spring, in anticipation of the moment when, with one sharp and confident throw, it would be possible to break out of the squeezing, strong, cold grip of captivity.

A convenient moment did not come up: either the dog was nearby, or the handcuffs were not removed from me, or another unforeseen, but insurmountable obstacle. I was ready to use any means, as long as there was at least the slightest chance of success, but it just wasn’t there.

In fruitless expectations, I was completely mad.

... When Rustam suggested that I try to escape, I agreed without hesitation. In addition to the two of us, almost the entire “hut” expressed a desire to participate in the escape (with the exception of one indecisive one). The plan was simple: having stunned the “corpsman” with an iron pipe broken off from the bunk, throw a rope woven from sheets onto the wall of the pre-zone from the “corpusal” window. That they would not shoot at us, we were sure that they had no right to “youngsters”! The simple idea that “in the dark all cats are gray” did not occur to anyone. However, everything turned out quite differently - among us was a “snitch”.

At the next “shmon” a break on the upper part of the pipe was “discovered”. Everyone was taken one by one to the “singer” (a measure necessary to secure the “informer”), then the camera was scattered all over the “youngster”, and me and Rustam were transferred to the punishment cell.

Once in the cell, I somehow settled down in the corner on my haunches.

The description of the punishment cell, in my opinion, deserves some attention from those who are not without an interest in prison topics.

As a measure of punishment, placement in a punishment cell is applied against gross violators of the regime of detention established for those held in a pre-trial detention center, i.e. is the last resort. In fact, they are often “imprisoned” here, and even a minor misconduct can serve as an excuse, it also happens that all the cells of the punishment cell are occupied, and the one who has already been issued a decision waits several days until someone vacates his place.

Minors are assigned a term of up to five days in a punishment cell, the same amount for women, the rest are given up to fifteen days, although it happens that a prisoner does not leave the “kicha” for a month or more.

The punishment cell is located, of course, in the most damp and dark place - in the basement. Obviously, the desire of the authorities is to isolate those held in the punishment cell from the total mass of convicts, but they never succeed in achieving this in full. According to “thieves’ concepts”, the punishment cell and the medical unit are in most need of help and are “warmed up” in the first place: cigarettes, tea, “brakes”, clothes, books, etc. are transferred here. as often as possible. Often, the gruel here is much more satisfying and nutritious than “upstairs”.

The local microclimate of the punishment cell, of course, leaves much to be desired: in winter it is dog cold here, you have to keep warm by constant active movement - push-ups, jumps, and anything, just not to freeze while standing still. Before lights out, the controller on duty unfastens the wooden bunk, attached to the wall all day long - the prisoner should not lie down on the punishment cell. Here, however, there is nowhere to sit down, except perhaps on a concrete floor or on a metal tube that serves as a support for the lowered bunk. When it's cold outside, this precaution turns out to be clearly unnecessary - you are afraid to stop. It is strange that in such conditions people get sick relatively rarely, I don’t know how to explain this, perhaps, the mobilization of the body’s forces in extreme conditions Yes, force of habit.

It happens that you suffer all night, curled up and blown to the bone by an icy wind, “well,” you think with some incomprehensible gloating, “the next morning I will get sick without options. I’ll go to the “cross” (medical unit) - lie down, deceive this bastard for at least a couple of days. It wasn't there! The next morning is healthy and well-being is excellent, as luck would have it.

Those who find it hard to endure loneliness can always talk to their neighbors through a “cabin” or a window, and if such a sociable person manages to get bored with everyone before the end of his term in the punishment cell, there is an opportunity to study the habits of animals in natural conditions, for example, rats. In fact, these animals usually behave peacefully - some s / c manage to make friends with their “gray cellmates”.

If you are not averse to playing chess, finding a partner is not difficult: among the prisoners there are a lot of game lovers, including chess. (In the game, of course, you will have to do without boards - they will be replaced by paper, a pen, and, most importantly, your abstract thinking.)

A special event in the even life of the punishment cell is the appearance of a girl in one of the cells. The convicts, who have missed the warmth of female communication, melt, listening to the sound of a more or less pleasant voice, they will certainly begin to pester the girl with requests to sing, tell something, sometimes touching the poor thing to the quick with semi-serious declarations of love.

In general, one can make one's stay in any, even such an unattractive place as a punishment cell, if not pleasant, then at least bearable, while maintaining presence of mind and not allowing oneself to lose heart.

I can’t say that the time I spent in the punishment cell was wasted - I had a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the mistakes made and try to understand the motives that pushed people to betrayal ...

On the third day of my stay in the punishment cell, I was visited by the elder “sung” Ryzhy, a good-natured and mild-mannered man, not devoid of the presence of common sense and a certain insight.

Hello, how are you?

Hello Andrey Mikhalych. Nothing, I'm not complaining.

For half a minute, Ryzhy silently looked at me searchingly, it seemed to me that he was in some confusion.

What, they didn't expect me, huh?

Yeah, I didn't wait. You, Dima, explain this to me: well, I can still understand your desire to cut your elder “godfather” - he grabs you by the balls, and it can hurt with words ... well, okay, the Pig (our second educator) - he, too, happens , and in the snout will give, and a sudden raid will arrange, sweep everything; I admit, you could have a grudge against him. Well, what have I done wrong to you? What the hell are you trying to do to me?!

Mentally, I was dumbfounded: like this, like that, and who spewed such nonsense? Images of all those initiated into my plans quickly flashed in my thoughts.

We talked for a few more minutes, and the conversation was over. The redhead furtively looked around and shoved me a pack of cigarettes through the grate installed at the entrance as a second door.

... I was taken out of the punishment cell already to the "adult" - I turned eighteen the day before the end of the five days assigned to me.

Prison riddles with answers.

Such prison riddles are asked to the newcomer to the cell. In certain places, based on your answer, your further fate may happen.

Please, impressionable persons, as well as persons under 18 years of age and persons with unstable mentality, do not read this post. Contains mat.

Zeki themselves are very resourceful people. And even if the prisoner was a computer scientist outside, then in places of deprivation of liberty he could show hidden talents in inventing household appliances from improvised materials.

Two chairs (classic):

There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharpened, on the other x * and d * chen, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down x * and d * cheny, I’ll sit down myself and plant my mother.
Answer #2: I myself will sit on the peaks, I will put my mother on her knees.

Parachute:

You are flying on a parachute, on the right - the forest hu * in, on the left - the sea of ​​gov * a. Where will you sit down?
Answer: In every forest there is a glade, and in every sea there is an island.

Pit:

You fell into a hole. In the pit there is a pie and x * d. What will you eat, what will you shove in your *op?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the pit.

*oops or mother?

Will you give in F * pu or will you sell your mother?
Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale.

Fork:

Head-on question: With a fork in the eye or f * n times?
Answer: And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer #2: I don't see one-eyed people here.

Soap or bread?

What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap box, the bucket is not a breadbasket.

About Sahara:

You and Kent are walking through the Sahara desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is neither housing nor settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the Kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If below - then he will suck.
Answer #2: Today Kent, tomorrow cop.

About the train:

You are on a train chained to levers that can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork ahead - on the right, the mother is tied to a pole, on the left, there are ten Kents. Where will you turn, who will you crush?
Answer: Kents today, cops tomorrow.
The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up.

About bones:

The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give a gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.

About roosters:

There lived two roosters, one was fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse off?
Answer: Who already has worse.

Football:

Draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.

Broom:

They give you a broom in your hands and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give the broom with the words "And you set the mood first"

Sewing a bottle:

They break the bottle and say: "Zashey." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to be turned inside out.

Accordion:

They ask you to play the battery, like an accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate furs.
And if you are interested in how life goes in prison, we can offer quite unusual and interesting stories about life in prison.

They put a man in jail for 9 years:

They put the man in prison for strict 9 years. One day, the godfather (head of the prison) says to him, if you solve the riddle for 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
The word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends in "zor", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. He served his 9 years, comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer: Television. The question is not about what the jailer thought, but about the subject, about the cat. The man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw at home. And if you read the condition, you can understand it.

Zek escaped from prison on the island:

Island in the ocean. There is a prison on the island, around the water. A convict escaped from the prison, climbed over the wall, jumped into a motorboat and shoveled with all his might. The guards jumped into a faster motorboat and chased after him. They caught up, tied me up, grabbed me by the hair, banged my head against the side, and took me back to prison. There are 3 inconsistencies in this story.
Answer:
1. The wall is not needed in the open ocean
2. Why row with oars in a motorboat if there is a motor
3. Zeki are still bald

More prison riddles with a catch

Two chairs (classic):
There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharpened, on the other the dicks are jerked off, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?
Answer: I'll take sharpened peaks, cut down jerked dicks, I'll sit down myself and put my mother in jail.
Answer number 2: I myself will sit on the peaks, I will put my mother on her knees.

Parachute:
You are flying on a parachute, on the right - a forest of cocks, on the left - a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit down?
Answer: In every forest there is a glade, and in every sea there is an island.

Pit:
You fell into a hole. There is a pie and a dick in the pit. What will you eat, what will you put in your ass?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the pit.

Ass or mother?
Will you give in the ass or will you sell your mother?
Answer: The ass is not given, the mother is not for sale.

Fork:
Question on the forehead: A fork in the eye or in the ass again?
Answer: There are no forks in the zone.
Answer number 2: I don’t see one-eyed people here.

Soap or bread?
What do you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap box, the bucket is not a breadbasket.

About Sahara:
You and Kent are walking through the Sahara desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the kent and bites his dick. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If below - then he will suck.
Answer number 2: Today is a kent, and tomorrow a cop.

About the train:
You are on a train chained to levers that can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork ahead - on the right, the mother is tied to a pole, on the left, there are ten Kents. Where will you turn, who will you crush?
Answer: Kents today, cops tomorrow.

The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up.

About bones:
The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give a gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.

About roosters:
There lived two roosters, one fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse off?
Answer: Whoever has a point is already worse.

Football:
Draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.

Broom:
They give you a broom in your hands and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give the broom with the words "And you set the mood first"

Sewing a bottle:
They break the bottle and say: "Zashey." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn inside out.

Accordion:
They ask you to play the battery, like an accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.

1. One man was sentenced to 15 years. But the judge wanted to help him and offered

I'll give you a riddle. She has three answers. For each correct answer, I take
you for five years in prison. The man had nowhere to go, and he agreed.

Remember three parts human body, whose names consist of three letters and
they start and end with the same letter. The man thought for a long time, and
Finally, he remembered one word: "eye." Removed from him 5 years. The man also thought
remembered another word: "navel".

I remembered the third organ, I thought and thought - I couldn’t guess.

He served 5 years and returned home. And his wife meets him at home. She went to shower
returned from there completely naked, wrapped in a towel.

And suddenly the towel falls off her. The man slaps his forehead and exclaims:

And because of such nonsense, I served five years!

Name the third organ.

Collection of prison riddles

Task 1

They are going to put 100 prisoners in solitary confinement in the prison. Everyone from time to time will be taken out for a walk in the corridor, where there is one large switch. During the walk, each prisoner is only allowed to either switch the switch or do nothing. All prisoners will be released only if one of them, once going out into the corridor, says that all the prisoners have already been here and will not be mistaken. And if he makes a mistake, then they will stop letting the prisoners out for a walk. What should be the algorithm of prisoners' behavior in order to guarantee their release if:

1.1. it is known in what position the switch will be initially

1.2. it is not known.

Task 2

2.1. Two prisoners were sentenced to death. But they were given one chance: they put a cap with a number on each. Each digit can be either one or two. Prisoners can look at each other, but not exchange any information. On command, they must simultaneously shout out a number. If at least someone guesses their own number, then both are released. How do they need to negotiate in order to be guaranteed to survive?

2.2. The previous item can be solved by an eighth grader if he thinks a little. If you can handle it too, then try to propose a solution for three people, each of whom sees everyone else, but the written numbers can already be from one to three.

2.3. If you coped with the second point, then come up with a solution for an arbitrary number of prisoners.

Answers

1.1. Let's say the switch is initially raised. Then each of the first 99 prisoners must lower the switch exactly once, in all other cases they must not do anything at all. The hundredth prisoner each time only raises the knife switch if it is lowered. Then when he picks it up for the 99th time, he can guarantee that all the prisoners have been in the corridor.

1.2. Everything happens in the same way, but each of the first prisoners must lower the switch exactly twice. Then, when the hundredth prisoner raises the switch for the 198th time, either all the other prisoners have already lowered it twice, or once he lowered the switch from its original position, and one of the first prisoners lowered the switch only once. In any case, it can be guaranteed that all the prisoners have been in the corridor.

2.1. The first prisoner calls the number that he sees, and the second - the one he does not see.

2.2. see solution 2.3.

2.3. Let there be n prisoners. Then the first one calls such a figure so that the sum of all the numbers on the caps plus the named one is divisible by n. The second is such that it gives a remainder of one when divided by n. The third - to two. Etc. Everyone can do this, because he sees all the other numbers, and all of them are not greater than n.

Your post must be moderated

• Submit a reply

• Did you know that the dome of the Capitol in Washington was built according to the drawings of St. Isaac's Cathedral?!
  In general, the cathedral is much older than is commonly believed. In 1705, Peter I decided to rebuild the drawing barn of the Admiralty into a temple - since the city already had an "Admiralty College and a model room for drawings." And now the wooden barn was converted into a temple 18 meters long and 9 meters wide. The money for the construction of the first temple in 1707 of St. Isaac of Dalmatia was allocated from funds allocated for the maintenance of the fleet. And all the documents on the cathedral went on to the Ministry of the Navy: payment for priests, the purchase of wine for communion, repairs, gifts to the clergy for the fact that they consecrated each ship being launched. St. Isaac's Cathedral did not belong to the church for a single day, it has always been the property of the state.
  
  
  By the way, Peter I got married in the former barn in 1712. Why? In the archives, they found Peter's decree on holding civil events at the place of residence. At that time, the tsar was "registered" as the skipper Pyotr Alekseev on the Admiralty side. Therefore, he did not get married even in the Peter and Paul Cathedral, which was dedicated to the Romanovs. In order not to violate his own decree, he got married in this church.
  
  The second temple was built where it now stands Bronze Horseman. In 1714, when it became clear that the Swedes would not be able to attack St. Petersburg, the tsar ordered Trezzini to create a cathedral befitting the capital of Russia. They laid the temple on the banks of the Neva, without taking into account hydrology, and after a while it began to slide into the river. They suffered, remade, the cathedral burned twice. Finally, already Catherine in 1758 issued a decree to find a new site for the construction of the cathedral. They invited the Italian Rinaldi, determined the place, and began to build the third St. Isaac's Cathedral. They finished under Paul I. And already in 1802-1803 the cathedral began to collapse. Instead of marble, it was lined with bricks, it was not dried inside, and pieces of plaster began to fall on the believers during worship ... And Montferrand built the fourth cathedral.
  
  
  After the victory over Napoleon, Alexander I ordered to develop new project Isaac's Cathedral. The conditions of the competition contained a requirement to preserve the altars. The first competition was held in 1816, but no one was able to enter the altars. Two years later, a second competition was announced. And then came the brilliant Montferrand. Apparently, not too hoping to get an order, he presented his project on two sheets of paper. But the Rinaldi altars turned out to be so well inscribed that Alexander I chose this one out of 24 projects.
  
  In 1820, the project was declared untenable due to errors in the calculations of the dome. Truly, amazing fact, given that it was Montferrand that was the father of other incredible architectural projects of the time. What is the construction of the Alexandrian pillar, standing only under the weight of its own weight, without any support. Or equestrian sculpture Nicholas I, the first in Europe standing on two pillars. Jewelry calculation.
  
  1825 - the final project of the cathedral is approved. But work on the construction and strengthening of the foundation, by that time, had been going on for several years, with the participation of the talented engineer Augustine Betancourt. And this is taking into account the colossal weight - more than 300 thousand tons, the size - the 4th largest temple in the world, and the construction in the conditions of swampy peat soils. Many technical tools simply did not exist in those days. But this did not interfere with the genius of human thought. So a clear horizontal level of the foundation was created using the level of frozen water - perfect and simple! A few years ago, complex drilling operations were used to sample the current state of the piles. Full order, wooden piles only get stronger over time.
  
  
  The erection of porticos with columns before the walling stage was also atypical, due to the complexity of the work. By the way, one lower column weighs 114 tons. And it was erected in less than an hour, though it is silent how many thoughts, attempts and calculations were made before that, how much time it took to invent special scaffolding, capstan gates and a system of blocks.
  
  A separate mention is also made of the way of cutting down huge blocks of granite for columns. For the first time, railroads were used for transportation during construction.

  
  Unique architectural structure. Look inside and marvel at the richness and intricacy of the interior decoration: mosaics, forging, painting, bas-reliefs, frescoes, huge chandeliers, electroplating, granite, marble, lapis lazuli, malachite, unique crimson Shoksha quartzite, bronze and silver, smalt and gilding.
  
  Shine and radiance to the glory of the Sovereign and the State, the triumph of the union of statehood and spirituality.
  
  
  Amazing things are connected with St. Isaac's Cathedral:
  
  - A rumor about a certain prediction that the architect received from a clairvoyant. Allegedly, the sorcerer prophesied to him that he would die as soon as the cathedral was completed. People said that this is why Montferrand takes so long to build the building. Legends are legends, but a month after the consecration ceremony of the cathedral, Montferrand died. Before his death, Montferrand asked the emperor for permission to be buried in the depths of his offspring, but this was denied to him, he was a Catholic.
  
  But even in today's Isaac we can see Montferrand. Look at the left side of the bas-relief of the western facade. He is there, with a small model of the cathedral in his hands.
  
  
  - Also, over time, a legend appeared among the people that as soon as the scaffolding was removed from Isaac, the house of the Romanovs would come to an end. Needless to say, the scaffolding was removed from the cathedral in 1916, a year before Nicholas II abdicated.
  
  - A well-known legend is the myth that the Americans wanted to buy the temple. Moreover, they said that they would transport the cathedral to the United States in parts on their ships, and then reassemble it on the spot. In return, the American government offered to pave the cobblestone streets of Leningrad.

  The temple, built in memory of the death of Alexander II by architect Alfred Parland, is considered one of the main attractions of the city on the Neva. However, the townspeople do not know that the Church of the Savior on Blood keeps many mystical mysteries and secrets - we tell how the temple turned into a mortuary and influenced the collapse of the USSR, where the icon is stored that can predict the future, and why the crosses are stored under water.
  1. Underwater crosses of the Savior on Blood.

  At one time, the location of the temple played an important role in its history: they say that in order to save the decoration of the temple from the Bolsheviks, the townspeople removed the crosses from it and lowered them to the very bottom of the Griboyedov Canal. Subsequently, when the danger had passed, and the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood began to be restored, but they could not find the crosses that crowned the temple, a curious incident occurred: a passer-by who knew the legend approached the restoration team and advised them to look for decorations in the water.
  The workers decided to try and sent a team of divers to explore the bottom - to everyone's surprise, the crosses turned out to be exactly where the stranger indicated.
  2. A story about how the temple influenced the collapse of the Soviet Union.

  Another curious legend associated with the Savior on Blood and the materialization of thought took place already at the very beginning of the 90s. For a long time, one of the main attractions of the city on the Neva stood in scaffolding for decades, which gave rise to many anecdotes and was even reflected in poems and songs. On the wave, there was an ironic belief among the townspeople, they say that as soon as the scaffolding is removed from the Savior, the whole Soviet Union. It may seem like a fiction to some, and someone will write it off as a coincidence, but the fact remains: in 1991, the temple was "liberated" from scaffolding, and a little later, in August of that year, the end of Soviet power came.
  3. The largest collection of mosaics in Europe.

  Many people know that one of the main churches of the Northern capital is a real museum of mosaics, because under its roof the richest and largest collection of mosaics has been collected, on which the most famous domestic masters worked - Vasnetsov, Nesterov, Belyaev, Kharlamov, Zhuravlev, Ryabushkin and others. It is worth noting that mosaics are the main decor of the temple, because even the iconostasis of the Savior on Blood is mosaic.
  It may also seem curious that it was precisely because the works of art were made for a very long time that the opening of the temple and its consecration were delayed for a good ten years.
  4. Blockade morgue and Spas-on-potatoes.

  It's no secret that during the war (and under Soviet rule) the city's churches and temples worked in an unusual mode for them - cowsheds were equipped somewhere or enterprises were located. So, during the blockade, the Church of the Savior on Blood turned into a real morgue. The bodies of the dead Leningraders were brought from all over the city to the district Dzerzhinsky morgue, which the temple became for a while, confirming it historical name. In addition, one of the functions of the attraction in those difficult times was the storage of vegetables - some townspeople with a sense of humor even called it "Spas-on-potatoes". At the end of the war, the Savior on Blood was again not returned to its religious function, on the contrary, it began to be used as a storehouse for the scenery of the Maly Opera House, which is now known as Mikhailovsky.
  5. Secrets of numerology and the Savior on Blood.
  The magic of numbers really exists, and the St. Petersburg temple quite successfully proves this - for example, guides who want to add some mystical charm often turn to numerology and talk about the fact that the height of the central structure is 81 meters, which fully corresponds to the year of the death of Alexander II , and another number 63 - not only the height to which one of the domes rises, but also the age of the emperor at the time of the attempt on his life.
  6. Mysterious icon.
  In addition to the famous ghost of the Griboyedov Canal embankment, there is another mystical and mysterious legend (not proven or refuted): allegedly under the roof of the Savior on Blood there is an icon on which fatal Russian history years - it appears there 1917, 1941 and not only. It is believed that the icon has the power and is able to predict turning dates for the history of Russia, because other fuzzy silhouettes of numbers are also visible on the canvas - perhaps they will appear as a new tragedy approaches.
  7. Bloody pavement.
  It's no secret that the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood was built on the site where on March 1, 1881, the last assassination attempt on Emperor Alexander II took place. Naturally, immediately after the tragic events, the City Council proposed to build a small chapel here, however new emperor Alexander III ordered not to be limited to the chapel and to build a magnificent temple on this site.
  The sovereign also ordered to leave an untouched section of the pavement inside the future cathedral, where the blood of his father was shed.
  In the 60s, while examining the domes of the temple, they found the only bomb that still hit the temple. Hit but didn't explode. A five-hundred-kilogram bomb seemed to lie on the hands of the Savior.
  

  It was popular in the 19th century in England.

  Looking at this photo, it seems that the baby just blinked, but it's not. Finding out the terrible secret of this picture, you will be SHOCKED. The child in the photo...

  Creepy by modern standards, the tradition was popular in the Victorian era of the 19th century.
  Namely, the tradition of taking photographs of recently deceased relatives, called “Memento mori”, which means “remember death”.

  When it comes to the Victorian era, most people think of horse-drawn carriages, ladies' corsets, and Charles Dickens. And hardly anyone thinks about what people of that era did when they came to the funeral. It may seem shocking today, but at the time when someone was dying in the house, the first person to whom the family of the unfortunate person turned was the photographer. In our review, posthumous photographs of people who lived in the Victorian era.

  The sister and brothers next to the dead child look very frightened.
  In the second half of the 19th century, the Victorians had new tradition- take pictures of dead people. Historians believe that at that time the services of a photographer were very expensive, and not many could afford such a luxury during their lifetime. And only death and desire to make in last time something significant, connected with a loved one, made them fork out for a photo. It is known that in the 1860s a photograph cost about $7, which today is commensurate with $200.

  Last photo with daughter
  Another likely reason for this unusual Victorian fashion is the "cult of death" that existed in that era. The beginning of this cult was laid by Queen Victoria herself, who, after the death of her husband Prince Albert in 1861, never took off the mourning. At that time in England, after the death of someone close, women wore black for 4 years, and for the next 4 years they could only appear in white, gray or purple. Men wore mourning bands on their sleeves for a whole year.

  Unfortunately, he didn't sleep.
  People wanted their deceased relatives to look as natural as possible, and photographers had their own methods for this. A special tripod was widely used, which was installed behind the back of the deceased and made it possible to fix him in a standing position. It is by the presence of subtle traces of this device in the photo that in some cases it is only possible to determine that the photo is a dead person.

  This is how dead people were photographed while standing ...

  ... and sitting.
  In this photo, 18-year-old Ann Davidson, with beautifully styled hair, in a white dress, surrounded by white roses, is already dead. It is known that the girl was hit by a train, only the upper part of the body remained unharmed, which was captured by the photographer. The girl's hands are laid out as if she were picking flowers.

  Ann Davidson hit by a train.

  The nanny who left Pugacheva revealed details about Harry and... The man was puzzled by what he saw inside the rusty tank

  You can see a tripod behind the girl’s back, and the photographer painted her eyes.

  This girl is not tired, she is no more
  Very often, photographers photographed dead people with objects that were dear to them during their lifetime. Children, for example, were photographed with their toys, and the man in the photo below was photographed in the company of his dogs.

  Deceased man with his beloved dogs.

  Girl with her dolls.

  You might think that the girl just blinked, but it's not.
  To distinguish posthumous portraits from the general mass, photographers often included symbols in the image that clearly indicated that the child was already dead: a flower with a broken stem, an upside down rose in their hands, a clock whose hands indicate the time of death.

  The baby is obviously being supported by someone behind the curtain.

  The parents do not seem to have realized yet that their child is no more.

  The family seems quite happy, but something is clearly wrong with the girl.
  Today, posthumous photographs are highly collectible. The largest collection of photographs Victorian era owned by Thomas Harris of New York. He comments on his unusual passion as follows: “These photographs calm and make you think about the priceless gift of life.”

  For one of the brothers, this photo is posthumous. Read in source...

You should not renounce prison, anyone can be there for several hours, days or months, albeit for a minor violation. Getting into prison is always stressful for an inexperienced person, because the culture and customs of the prisoners are different from the usual ones. But the first stress is followed by the second: how to enter the hut in the zone so as not to spoil the impression of yourself on the very first day?

The zone is a place where mistakes are not forgiven, and staying there can be aggravated by a wrong word or wrong action. Therefore, a beginner will not be hindered by some knowledge of how to enter a hut in the zone. The first day in the zone, prison registration - that is the first link in all subsequent events. What should not be done and said in order for relations with prisoners to develop successfully?

The behavior of the convict is already formed from the moment when, through a lawyer, it becomes clear to him how long it is planned to spend before the trial in the cell. How less people he will meet - "youngsters", "hardened criminals" - the easier it is. Isolation, on the other hand, implies absolute loneliness, which is sometimes agreed with the investigators.

Entry and welcome

Before entering the hut in the zone, it is worth bearing in mind that almost everything is already known about you or will be checked very quickly, and flaunting eloquence, as well as adding something to the truth is inappropriate. The essential qualities that will be required are communication skills, courtesy, self-esteem.

First of all, elementary education is necessary: ​​people are greeted at the entrance. But if among the cellmates there are "lowered", a person who has approached them verbally will replenish their number. That is, "hello everyone" will not work. Optimal greeting options are recommended: "greeting people", "great, lads". Addressing the prisoners "men" is not the best, this word will emphasize the boundary between the despicable caste and honorary title, will spur to check the status of the "man" of the person who entered. They do not greet the first walker by the hand until his "purity" is confirmed.

Article, acquaintance, nickname

A towel thrown at the feet, a self-esteem detector is not the end of the acquaintance, after that the same question is still relevant: how to enter the hut in the zone without attracting unhealthy attention to yourself? "For what was he convicted?", "What did he get for?" - the newcomer should answer these questions with the number of the article, without hiding the real state of affairs, despite his innocence. To the question: "Who are you?" the answers are supposed - "tramp" - an authority who found himself behind bars not for the first time, "muzhik" - a person who does not have "mistakes" in the wild, or - "lowered person".

You should not go to the seemingly free bunks. For pioneers, most often there are sleeping places located in the corners. The visitor may be invited to the table (common fund) to drink tea, and again asked to tell in more detail what he was convicted for and who he is. If there was no experience of confinement, it’s better to say so - experienced in any case will calculate your real essence. Not knowing the rules of life in a cell, it is worth saying about it as it is, and expressing consent regarding their observance. It's better to keep quiet about financial position or create the impression of a middle-class person.

A nickname is a necessity that you can choose at your own discretion, or it will be assigned by society according to the characteristics or behavior of the prisoner. A beginner can accept or refuse an offensive nickname by answering "no channel" or vice versa: "channel".

Usually, the beholder voices unwritten rules, failure to comply with which is punished especially severely. "Caught" in deed and in word, especially for a beginner, is very simple. If it is necessary to resist collective disapproval, to extricate themselves from an unconscious oversight, if the usual methods do not work, then the prisoners are forced to practice "out of the box" in order to survive, and to improve the situation.

"Unconventional" approach

1. Go on a hunger strike with the involvement of a lawyer and with the signing of an application to this effect by higher management, starting from the supervising prosecutor or higher.

2. Report a supposedly difficult-to-diagnose disease, such as coronary heart disease, or the like, which will make it possible to go under the supervision of a doctor, and in some cases will give a chance of release. But it is not worth competing with experience with experienced people, simulating unfamiliar diseases: exposure can cost more.

3. There is also a way in which the prisoner informally informs the interrogator of his suspicions: that his cellmate has shown an intent to encroach on his honor, and that in an attempt to defend himself, he may inflict bodily harm to the swindler. Often the decision is made to place the newcomer in solitary confinement.

4. It is preferable to serve time in a small cell, where the neighbors will be violators whose articles are not related to particularly serious ones - plunderers, emergency workers. And then the troubles about how to enter the hut, registration in the zone, and the like, are more likely to remain unclaimed. But in order to influence the decision on a sparsely populated cell, at least it is important to maintain respect for the police commissioner and the investigator.

5. In some cases, it was possible to pay off large sums of money from staying in a common cell.

6. "Residence permits" can be avoided by elderly people who are ill, who at the entrance declare that they are obliged to pay "to the common fund" and work as much as they should.

What is a "registration"?

If the cells with criminals could not be avoided, "registration" and living on generally accepted conditions will be necessary.

Initially, no one is determined to harm the newcomer, but no one is indifferent to what kind of person they have to serve time, communicate and interact with for a long time. Therefore, formally, registration is a test in the form of tricky questions, like fast way get to know a cellmate, understand what kind of attitude he deserves.

"Propiska" has become a kind of ritual of a provocative nature, taking on various shades. Therefore, a beginner without experience will be helped by knowing how to enter a hut in the zone. The first day in the zone reveals the essence of a person and irrevocably stigmatizes him, although the purpose of registration is to check, not to cause harm. You need to answer exclusively truthfully, no lie will be forgiven if it is discovered.

Often you have to make a choice between two obviously losing options, but an answer that avoids specific values ​​\u200b\u200bcan be quite satisfactory. Recommendations on how to competently enter the hut in the zone are reduced to the principle of firmness and unambiguousness in the answers, in which, however, a philosophical approach is acceptable.

Provocative questions for a newcomer

1. They are asked to choose one of the domino fields: five or six. On the territory of the prisoners, the five is consistent with the lowered person, and the six is ​​with the slanderer. But if you answer that you chose a "dash" between the fields, the specificity of the answer will not suffer from this. Things that are symbolic with these concepts sometimes become fatal, like "accidental" hopelessness in the form of a single place or object of use numbered with a six, which for a beginner can come back to haunt a potential nuisance.

2. Provocative questions with subtext that require immediate answers without hesitation may look like this: "If the sea is on the right and the forest is on the left, what will you choose when going down on a parachute?" With any choice, a loss awaits, but the way out is in the supplemented version: "In every forest there is a clearing, and in the sea - an island", and the like.

3. Questions that imply categorical answers: "What will you do if, in a hopeless situation, you need to sell your mother or set yourself up?" Answer: "The mother is not for sale, and her own (if mentioned) part of the body is not substituted."

If the "registration" is not passed

For those who have not passed the registration, there is a chance to repeat it again, in contrast to the "omitted", accompanying the intention with the appropriate ritual and words, usually by pouring a bucket of water on themselves. If the registration has not been completed, the newcomer is forcibly offered to join the "fives" or "sixes". This state of affairs can be avoided by apologizing, offering payment or working off as an alternative.

What criminals do not like in prison

Before entering a hut in the zone, one should prepare for the fact that rapists, child molesters, and homosexuals are not liked in prison.

If it becomes known that the prisoner betrayed his friends, because of which they ended up in prison, this will not be forgotten to him, having determined the appropriate attitude.

The one who lied can be checked, and if the lie comes up, it turns out that the prisoner was silent about his belonging to the "lowered", sitting with cellmates and authorities at the same table, this is not forgiven.

What to Avoid

How to make good use of your time

Before entering the hut in the zone, you should think about your time there, and perhaps use it to your advantage - for self-development or something else. They smoke a lot in prisons, the food is also not of the best quality, but there is the possibility of daily walks, or work, as well as independent physical training. It is recommended to take an active part in activities, go for walks, take a bath, take care of the body as much as possible, do not reject the possibility of additional distance education which is encouraged in prisons. If the prison is equipped with a library and equipped with work places, this has a positive effect on the psyche and speeds up the passage of time.