Information that helps a person make the right decision. How to make the right decision? Learn to trust your inner voice

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think of this decision 10 months later?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she, in this case, herself take a step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Do you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

Every day, a person is faced with situations that involve making some kind of decision, from choosing products to choosing a place to study or work. At the same time, for many people this is a real disaster, since there are many doubts and fear that the choice will be made incorrectly. In such a situation, information on how to make a decision, if in doubt, will be most welcome. Psychologists have long been interested in this topic, so they have developed several techniques that allow you to do everything right.

How to make the right decision in life?

There are many different factors that make a person suffer from doubts. For example, some people in difficult situations rely only on their experience and opinions, not taking advice from outside, while others tend to build some kind of illusion, which does not give them the opportunity to see reality.

Tips for making an important decision:

1. Expand your scope. In many situations, in addition to the standard yes / no answer, there are a huge number of other solutions. For example, when considering whether it is necessary, it may be worth talking to your superiors to correct annoying factors.
2. Get rid of emotions. When figuring out how to make a difficult decision, one cannot leave the emotional factor unattended, since it is he who often does not allow a person to soberly assess the situation and understand its essence, which ultimately leads to making the wrong decisions. Psychologists offer in such situations to answer the question: “What will I feel after making such a choice in five minutes, a few months or a year”
3. Use as much information as possible. Today, thanks to the Internet, you can find answers to almost any question. Many people write their reviews about products, services, places of recreation, and even about the enterprises they work for.
4. Weigh all the pros and cons. Many psychologists, when thinking about how to make an important decision in life, advise getting visual confirmation by making two lists. On one write possible prospects and advantages, and on the second - what you have to lose and the existing shortcomings. This will allow you to correctly prioritize and not make a mistake.
5. Be interested in other people's opinions. Here it is important to choose the right adviser and it is best to contact a person who is primarily competent in this area and has achieved some success. This will allow you to get rid of unnecessary arrogance and get

The whole life of a person consists of a series of decisions - large and small. Some of them affect the rest of your life. Many people have difficulty when faced with the need to make a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process the most effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life puts us in front of a choice, throwing up a variety of tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? What phone to buy? Where to go to rest during the holidays? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Quit your job or stay? There are decisions that do not really affect anything, but there are those that radically change life.

All people behave differently when they make decisions. There is a category of people who are called "pofigists". They never suffer from a choice, because they prefer the first available or the simplest option. They put on the clothes that they take out of the closet first, go on a date with the one who invites them first, get the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t worth the effort.

Another category of people when making important decisions is guided by intuition. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not many such people.

Most of the people are individuals who experience difficulties during the choice. They suffer, doubt, weigh each option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you are one of those people and do not know how to make a decision, if in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn a few methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. Descartes Square

The essence of the method is to consider the problem you are facing from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. For each section, write one of the following questions:

1. What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
2. What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
3. What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
4. What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?

Think and write in each square the answer to the question. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and not implementing it, you can understand what decision you should make.

If you don’t know how to act in this or that situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that each person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides on the right path. The guardian angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. "Expanding the scope"

The problem with most people is that they narrow themselves down and see no alternatives. They tend to obsess over “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to borrow a car. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue to travel by public transport.

By expanding the selection box, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse a loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and not use public transport; you can generally change jobs by getting a job in another company located close to your home; you can arrange with one of your colleagues to drive you to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. "Disappearance of options"

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to work for has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, equally interesting options for a new job that you have not seen before because you are fixated on one.

Method 5. "Glass of water"

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, the author of books on non-traditional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour into a glass of clean, unboiled water. Hold a glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that concerns you and clearly articulate the issue that needs to be resolved. Then, slowly, drink half a glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass of water next to your bed and go to bed. In the morning after waking up, the first thing to do is drink water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. "Delay"

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, making the right choice is very difficult. Remember how often in a hurry you made the wrong decision, and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require an instant decision, so don't be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. "Know the information"

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to give preference to. When it comes to buying a product, read online reviews about it. When deciding to change jobs, find out all about the position you are about to take and the people who have worked there before you. If possible, seek out these people for first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the right information should be. So you protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. "Reject emotions"

Emotions make it very difficult to make the right decision, because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally aroused person is not able to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule for yourself: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, anger, as well as stormy joy, euphoria are bad advisers in making decisions.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. So you will protect yourself from rash acts and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you understand that emotions are preventing you from making the right choice, you can't always get rid of them. To facilitate this process, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to discard momentary impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to borrow an expensive car. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? Surely you will be in euphoria, rejoicing in your acquisition. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden, you will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and needs repair, or maybe you are already so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you have done later.

stay in the dark

A good way to subdue emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person, helps to put thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this is done so that gold and precious stones play better and shimmer in the rays of light? Not only for this. Marketers know that bright lights are more likely to cause a person to make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method to help in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow and deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”.

Think about what advice you would give to a friend.

To reduce emotions and cool the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who is facing the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice such a feature in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their acquaintances, but they themselves, getting into similar situations, behave extremely stupidly. This happens because looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves inside the problem, then a lot of all sorts of little things pop up, to which we attach too much importance.

The ability to abstract and look at the situation with an open mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. "Following life priorities"

Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values ​​and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of feedback from you; the second is less prestigious and not with such a high salary, but you do not need to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family is in the first place, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. "Intuition"

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. It can tell you a way out when rational methods have not brought the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, and the inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe you should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become a great helper in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

Once in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or rather, apply several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning how to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the 14th century. He composed a lot. But he was remembered by posterity for his parable about a donkey that starved to death due to the fact that out of two identical armfuls of hay, he could not choose the one with which it was better to start. Don't we look like such asses when we are trying to make an important decision?

Our expert - psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.

From early childhood to the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: blue dress or red? Which of the fans to prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: in a prestigious university or somewhere easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so it is in everything. How do you not want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really significant things!

A million torments

The easiest way in this regard is for fatalists and nihilists. You swim at the behest of the waves - where fate will taxi, and you don’t know trouble. Which dress hangs closer - then you need to wear it. Which of the suitors will be more persistent - for that and marry. Which of the employers will show more interest - I will get it. People with developed intuition also live well, as well as those who consider themselves to be such, and therefore are convinced that their choice is always infallible. All the rest suffer, doubt, despair and wonder how global decisions can be made, relying on ephemeral intuition or the blind will of fate! However, it is precisely in this approach, condemned by many, that, according to psychologists, there is often great wisdom in life. After all, all the options for a possible development of events cannot be calculated, so sometimes it’s better to just trust your sixth sense or even rely on a Russian chance. And then act according to circumstances.

But before taking the final step, it would be nice to weigh everything properly. And only if, after much thought, the answer did not come by itself - then you can connect your intuition or take risks.

Comprehensive approach

There are many rational decision-making methods. For example, there is a well-known psychological trick: write down on a piece of paper in two columns the pros and cons of one or another choice, and then decide by a simple mathematical calculation which one is more profitable. There is also a more advanced way. It's called Descartes' square. This way of making a decision is ideal when you have to choose whether to take a life-changing step or to leave things as they are. For example, this method can be used to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change jobs or stay the same, take out a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her until the end of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to look at the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different angles. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:

• What will happen if this happens? (Pros of getting what you want.)
• What happens if this doesn't happen? (Pros of not getting what you want.)
• What will NOT happen if this happens? (Cons of getting what you want.)
• What will NOT happen if this does NOT happen? (Cons of not getting what you want.)

After all, often we consider only the pros and cons of the onset of a possible event, but do not take into account the positive and negative aspects of the “status quo”. A comprehensive assessment avoids unreasonable risk. And then you will not have to endure unfortunate losses that could have been easily avoided. We wish you less mistakes!

Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, to agree or refuse.

And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision.

So how make the right decision and learn how to make the right choice?

Here are 10 ways.

1 - Just make the decision that you like.

According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 leaders of large companies turn out to be erroneous. 40% of the companies that were included in the list of the world's 500 best companies 20 years ago no longer exist.

Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.

So relax, make up your mind and take action.

You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.

You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.

Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, and any number of attempts. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.

2 - Determine the price of your solution.

What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down possible outcomes and make a decision based on that. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.

For strategic objectives, it is a good idea to write down the possible consequences of your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/

3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you have more to lose. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always go back to another solution. So hold on. Success loves the brave.

4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.

Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?

And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what needs to be done.

All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.

So ask your subconscious mind and go to sleep. Learn more about this technique in this video.

5 - Do something- to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.

When in doubt or choosing from multiple options, just do something about each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.

6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and knows more than you. Look for successful people in your environment. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is you don't have to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then

7 - Imagine being a super hero- Put yourself in the place of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what decision he would choose.

Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.

8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more solutions. Collect information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.

9 - Let your brain sort things out - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.

But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.

There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just switch off from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.

10 - Write down the pros and cons and compare

Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more profitable for you.

That's all.

But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.

And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions