What is emotional intelligence and why is it important to develop it from childhood. Emotional intellect

Victoria Shimanskaya - psychologist, leading specialist of the research area emotional intelligence(EQ) in Russia, author of the Monsiki children's EQ development methodology, partner of the EQ-factor Laboratory, presenter of master classes and trainings on the subject of EQ - about the intellectual and emotional profile of a person and his role in organizing and running a business.

Key Factors in Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is talked about a lot these days. The need to develop emotional intelligence has been repeatedly proven by scientists and various examples from life and business.

Obviously, a person with a higher level of emotional intelligence perceives reality more adequately and reacts to it and interacts with it much more effectively. This applies to almost all communications - both interpersonal and social; subjective and objective experiences; abstract and concrete concepts. Thus, emotional intelligence has become one of the new tools for business management, building effective communications and management.

The perception of information occurs through sensory systems. In this case, key areas of the brain act first, and then the reactions of the autonomic nervous, muscular and other systems take place. Interaction with information, with oneself and the outside world is built depending on the degree of development of the key drivers of emotional intelligence: awareness, self-esteem, motivation, adaptability.

Drivers actually contain basic personality traits, but they are not immutable and can evolve.

Each driver can be unlocked through four skills:

1. awareness through awareness of one's thoughts and emotions, one's body and behavior;
2. self-esteem through a positive perception of the world and determination, as well as through acceptance and assertiveness (a person’s ability not to depend on external influences and assessments, independently regulate their own behavior and be responsible for it);
3. motivation through the desire for self-actualization and determination, as well as through open perception of the new, strong goal-setting and objective experience of failures;
4. adaptability through conscious empathy with another person - empathy, stress resistance, decision making and sociability.

Emotional quote

It is necessary to pay attention to the fact that emotional intelligence does not exist separately from the intellect. Over the past three decades, science has advanced significantly, studying the interaction of the emotional and intellectual spheres (IQ and EQ) in terms of brain activity, psychology and business.

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of the heart over the head - this is the only way for the intersection of both,” David R. Caruso, a psychologist, professor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University (USA), once said management and co-author of the concept of emotional intelligence.

Along with the well-known abbreviation IQ (English Intelligence Quotient - intelligence quotient or coefficient mental development) there is a concept of emotional coefficient EQ ( English. Emotional Quotient), which was introduced by clinical physiologist Reuven Bar-On back in 1985. In 1996, at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Toronto, he presented his EQ-i (Emotional Quotient Inventory) test, which contained a list of questions to determine the coefficient of emotional intelligence, from which the now famous Bar-On model of emotional intelligence was born.

Despite the fact that the interaction of IQ and EQ is recognized by many researchers, the first model that clearly showed the interaction of these two coefficients was developed by Russian scientists at the EQ-factor Emotional Intelligence Laboratory under the leadership of N. Koro and V. Shimanskaya.

Intellectual-emotional profile of the leader's personality

This model is integral part intellectual-emotional personality profile IEPP. According to this model, emotional intelligence EQ is a kind of base of the personality pyramid in the coordinate system. The vectors of this system are EQ drivers and form various strategies of behavior in various fields life:

1. awareness - the "strategy of philosophers";
2. self-esteem - the "strategy of the stars";
3. motivation - "strategy of heroes";
4. adaptability - the "strategy of leaders".

When emotional intelligence connects with the IQ intelligence vector, the “strategy of creators” is formed - a strategy that is key in all areas of life, and even more so in business.

It is the “strategy of the creators” that makes it possible to realize the potential of a person to such an extent that in the end he reaches the highest level of self-realization. Therefore, the larger this pyramid has (due to the development of EQ drivers and IQ itself), the more possibilities a person will have an impact on his life, the lives of other people and the world as a whole.

AT modern world any leader and entrepreneur must be a creator - to create not just a product or service, but best product, the best service, best service and best experience. And this is almost impossible without the ability to manage your emotions.

How to develop EQ?

As noted in this article, the development of EQ occurs through the development of its main factors - drivers. Therefore, it is necessary first of all to develop them.

1. Exercise for the development of "mindfulness"

1. Close your ears and concentrate on the surroundings, try to see all the details. How the picture will become "brighter" and you will notice something that you did not pay attention to before.
2. Then close your eyes and concentrate on the sounds. In a normal situation, we subconsciously concentrate on a zone of no more than 1.5 meters around us. “Expanding” our hearing, we begin to notice the nuances of natural and mechanical.
3. Close your eyes and ears together. Feel how your body interacts with the world around you - for example, the touch of wind or grass on it, if you are ready to take off your shoes.

It is enough to do this exercise once a week so that the ability to recognize the voice intonations of interlocutors, the nuances of facial expressions become much higher. This will allow you to more accurately determine the explicit and hidden messages of the interlocutors and, most importantly, your own reaction to certain processes, as well as understand how your body reacts to information, how it experiences emotions.

2. For the development of “adaptability”, a simple training on “emotion cards” is suitable

You depict anger, joy, sadness or interest - depending on which card you draw. It's simple and effective method work out your emotional expression. At the same time, your efficiency as a negotiator increases several times.

3. To develop “self-esteem”, you should first master the poses of power

Power poses are postures of the human body that "start" the production of dopamine: a straight back, arms raised up, head held high. The production of this hormone contributes to a better memorization of material and information.

One minute of this exercise before negotiations will make you feel much more confident.

4. To develop "motivation" do the following right now

Write down ten things you enjoy doing. Then reformulate them so that only the verbs remain. Find the exact verb the best way will transfer one or another occupation.

Use these verbs to create a plan for the month. And during this month you will need to live ten days under the motto of this word. Traveling or laughing, tasting and learning new things, jumping or counting - there are many options.

For example, under the motto of the verb "tasting", you can go to a specialty restaurant or wine boutique - or maybe have a party at home. And it can also become a concept for the presentation of goods and services of your company.

Just live each of these days 200% with the ten words of action that really make up your essence of growth - what you can give to the world.

By doing these exercises, you are sure to move closer to your true goals than you have been in the last few years, because you will be engaged in the most important thing a successful businessman or leader - the implementation of the "creator's strategy."

Do you want to manage your emotions, be happy without external stimuli? The highest level of development of emotional intelligence is all that is needed for this. It will provide a constant inner life that satisfies you (you will easily understand what you need right now), a rational and productive solution of issues without including unnecessary, unnecessary or dangerous emotions. It is easy to understand, manage and regulate your own and others. From the article you will learn exactly how to do this.

“To be happy, you need to constantly strive for this happiness and understand it. It does not depend on circumstances, but on oneself.” – Leo Tolstoy domestic writer and thinker.

Emotional control automatically implies mind control. You can’t be productive in a situation of emotional “slagging” or make serious decisions in moments of anxiety, anger,. Why develop emotional intelligence? To think clearly and in the right direction than to speed up the flow of things in your life and ensure ease of communication and relationships.

A person who is able to control emotions is cheerful and active. His life is a world of opportunities and joy, for which it is impossible not to love it. His opposite is a hostage of negative and chaotic thoughts, a gloomy and dissatisfied type. For inappropriate emotions, he has to pay with health, money, reputation, sometimes life.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) - the basis of charm, the ability to remain balanced in any situation. In addition, it is the key to productive and strong relationship in and in production. Understanding other people's emotions is an essential component for. And we have to communicate every day.

Emotional intelligence allows you to:

• express and understand emotions (own and others);
• include emotions in reasoning;
• evaluate emotions and determine their causes;
• control and manage emotions.

People with high level emotional intelligence:

• are more efficient and productive;
• more than others are satisfied with their appearance (especially girls) and weight;
• more accurately than others, emotions are determined by facial expressions;
• more responsible attitude to study, work (fewer absences for disrespectful reasons).

Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence

You can determine for sure the level of EQ and the need for its development using special tests. However, there are several signs that make you suspect a low level of emotional intelligence:

• self-doubt, doubt about the correctness of actions;
• excessive self-criticism;
• problems and difficulties in communication, inability to find mutual language with people;
• modest and unprejudiced attitude towards other people.

How to develop emotional intelligence

We are talking about the development of a skill, respectively, the same methods of development are applicable as in the formation of other skills. But first, pay attention to the conditions of development:

• daily workouts;
• patience and discipline;
• high motivation.

Gaining control over your own, and even more so, other people's emotions is not easy. Do not expect an easy and quick victory, be prepared for difficulties and small steps back for a powerful leap forward. So, how to develop emotional intelligence:

1. Study yours. They influence what, when and how you feel. The conditions and specifics of decision-making are also determined by other mental characteristics. For example, due to innate reasons, it is very difficult for a choleric person to control emotions, and a phlegmatic person experiences obvious difficulties in understanding them. Conduct a full-fledged personal diagnosis using psychological techniques. Remember that a person changes daily, even innate features are corrected. Monitor yourself, commit changes with . You need to find out who you are, and only then learn to understand how you feel.
2. Be aware, relaxed and open. Knowing your emotions begins with meditation and relaxation, that is, gaining the maximum unity of the body and mind. Master these and others, for example, breathing. They will allow you to maintain and restore rationality in tense situations, limit you from making rash decisions.
3. Determine which component of emotional intelligence needs to be improved: expression and understanding of emotions, reasoning and comparison, assessment and search for causes, management. Determine your level of emotional intelligence.
4. Once you know your emotions, move on to studying other people. Start by trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Why is the person angry? Is he tired, offended, dissatisfied with his life? Do this exercise every day - come up with as many reasons (sources) as possible for a particular emotion (feeling).
5. Keep a mood diary and learn to differentiate emotions. Learn to express your feelings, distinguish anxiety from fear, and anger from resentment. Record the dynamics of feelings. This will allow you to determine the roots of emotions, the percentage of positive and negative and the prevailing emotions.
6. Develop, broaden your horizons. Limited thinking and perception also limits the understanding of emotions. Watch movies, read books, create, go to exhibitions. The more you are involved in large areas, the more you will learn versatile and unique people, realize the impossibility of generalization and the diversity of human feelings.
7. Break down your environment into vital and minor people. Focus your emotional intelligence on the first group. With loved ones, emotional communication should be especially interesting and meaningful. Surround yourself with those who want to learn from, harmonious and emotionally intelligent people.
8. Learn to think ahead, don't make promises you can't keep. Do not promise, even if you are sure that you can handle it. In addition to subjective factors, life is influenced by external stimuli that cannot always be predicted.
9. Shape and responsibility for own life. You are the source of all events in the script of life. Learn to be independent of external circumstances.

If you are aware of deep psychological problems and that prevent you from working independently on the development of emotional intelligence, contact a psychotherapist.

Exercises to develop individual EQ components

mindfulness

Plug your ears and strain your visual analyzer as much as possible. Take a close look at everything around you. Gradually, the picture should become brighter, and you will notice new details in your familiar environment.

Then close your eyes and strain your ears. Under normal conditions, we perceive sounds at a distance of a maximum of 1.5 meters from us. Concentrate, you should hear more.

The third step is to close your eyes and ears, feel. You must be aware of your body and its interaction with the outside world. You may feel a breeze or a sway.

It is enough to carry out the technique once a week to learn how to better recognize intonations and short-term facial expressions. You will be able to more accurately determine the true and hidden motives of the interlocutor, messages in your direction, as well as your reactions to this. In addition, you will better understand how the body reacts to certain emotions.

Adaptability (adaptation to situations)

Write down the names of the emotions on the cards. Pull out the cards one by one and depict the emotions that are written on them. The exercise can be carried out in the form of a game in the company.

Self-esteem

Define your "power pose". What it is? A pose that increases the level of dopamine - the hormone of joy, pleasure, activity, euphoria. The most popular power poses include: straight, extended posture, upturned nose and chin, raised hands. Standing in such positions in public is not worth it - they will not understand it that way. But at home, you need to devote a minute to your posture of strength. It is also effective to stand in this position before negotiations - during them it will be easier to remember and assimilate information, you will feel more confident.

Motivation

Write down 10 of your favorite activities. Now name each of them with one verb that conveys the content as accurately as possible. One verb - one month. Now 10 days in each month you need to live under the motto of a particular verb.

Afterword

Exists interesting opinion that emotional intelligence is wisdom. In this context, wisdom refers to the ability to combine the mind, logic and emotions. It can also be said that emotional intelligence is a complex of social skills, empathy, motivation (adequately overcoming failures and difficulties, perceiving new things, building plans and goals, striving for self-actualization), and awareness (awareness of one’s thoughts and emotions, body and behavior). Emotional intelligence is the balance of mind and heart, the golden mean that many dream of. It is possible and necessary to develop EQ and increase its level throughout life.

We want ourselves and our children to be successful and happy. But we often forget that it is impossible to put an equal sign between these concepts. You can be successful, but at the same time constantly feel unhappy. Or you can constantly experience difficulties in your studies or career, but treat them not as a tragedy, but as a step forward.

Why are emotions so important?

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

Charles Swindoll, writer

The modern world is full of stressful situations that are difficult to handle even for adults, not to mention children. They do not understand and do not know what emotions they experience at one time or another, how to manage them, therefore they have a distorted idea of ​​what is happening. This leads to neurosis, apathy and other depressive states.

Exaggerated demands of teachers, instilling in a small person the importance of victory and superiority (many want to be the parents of winners) - all this is too heavy a load for fragile children's shoulders. The heavier this burden, the more important it is to deal with the feelings and experiences of the child.

Already in adulthood we see that people who cannot control their emotions have trouble in all areas of life, including in their careers.

When a person is engulfed negative emotions and cannot objectively assess their feelings, desires and possibilities, a devastating effect is guaranteed.

Relations with others deteriorate, a person withdraws into himself, loses faith in himself, his strength or his professionalism, becomes irritable, becomes even more confused in his feelings. And then the question arises: “What level of emotional intelligence does he have?”

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is responsible for recognizing and correctly interpreting emotions. It is he who gives a person psychological flexibility and the ability to effectively interact with the outside world.

That is why the concept of "emotional intelligence" was first voiced in relation to career building and self-realization. However, psychologists immediately caught the infantile subtext in this, because the fundamental development of the personality occurs precisely in childhood.

For a child, the development of EQ is an opportunity to create a streamlined and understandable perception system that will allow you to effectively interact with people around you, perceive criticism correctly, recognize the feelings of adults and peers and adequately respond to them.

aggression, apathy, bad dream, absent-mindedness, inability to establish contacts with peers and other disturbing manifestations in the child's behavior are obvious signals that indicate the need to develop emotional intelligence.

How to develop emotional intelligence from childhood?

The most important thing in the life of any child is parental love. Love your child, show him tenderness and care. Tactile communication between mother and child does not lose its significance for children older than infancy.

Love makes every person feel secure and confident. This is a reliable foundation for the development of a successful personality.

In addition, it is very important to create the right associations with different emotions. Show your child real example what is joy. Maybe it's the smell of the cake? Maybe ringing a bell? What about friendship? Do you associate friendship with hugs? If not, then what does it look like in your imagination?

Create a colorful and bright world in which each feeling and sensation has its own color, aroma and taste. So you will not only open the doors to the world of emotions for the child, but also get closer to him, further strengthen the trust between you.

A similar method works for . Do not just read, but play fairy tales, tell children magic stories through the game or little performance. Play a scene in front of them, use tactile sensations, aroma oils, appropriate intonation - this will allow the child to feel the whole gamut of sincere emotions that a magical story evokes.

Each of these methods is well described in our book Monsiki. What are emotions and how to deal with them. Ours, because we created it together with my son Gleb, based on our own experience. It can safely be called detailed guide for parents, where one of the most effective methods EQ development is shown through interaction with fairy tale characters Monsic. Each of them represents a certain emotion and has skills that will help children understand these emotions and deal with them with various difficulties. Monsics are kind fairy creatures and a fairy tale is best perceived by a child.

Working on emotional intelligence in childhood is the key to successful development and well-being in the future.

Most likely, such a child, as an adult, will be able to avoid most of the psychological problems that modern society confronts us today.

Children are more receptive to everything new, their psyche is like plasticine - flexible and ingenuous. But what will be molded from this plasticine often depends only on adults. So let's start with ourselves.

Simple EQ Exercises

The EQ development methodology is simple and straightforward, but requires care and regular practice. Here are the most simple and effective exercises.

Mindfulness exercises

emotional diary

To learn to be aware of yourself here and now, write down every three hours the emotion that you experience in this moment. At the end of the day, isolate the prevailing emotion and think about what needs to be worked on.

After a couple of weeks, you will learn to feel in real time without any difficulties.

This exercise will be made more effective by a kind of check - an analysis of the physical state when experiencing a certain emotion. This practice is also good for improving health.

Stop!

How often are our actions accompanied by ? We do not think about what we are doing, but simply perform some familiar, regular manipulations. Exercise "Stop!" is to abruptly stop any action in order to get rid of inertia and allow yourself to think about the situation. Only in this way can you feel yourself here and now, begin to control your reality.

Self-Esteem Exercises

What a luck!

Teach yourself to think positively, responding even to unpleasant events phrase: "What luck!". Such a reaction will come as a surprise to others, but this fact will also benefit you, because then you will find even more advantages in the situation. To enhance the effect, you can use the phrase: "It's so great, because ...". Why? Think about it.

Sell ​​your flaw

An effective technique that allows you to interpret even the negative aspects of a person in a positive way. Tell the audience about your shortcoming in other words, give it a different color. For example, can caution be considered cowardice, and courage recklessness? But it all depends on which side you look at. The synthon approach relies on a positive approach to development. He says: you have no flaws, you have features.

You need to develop your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

With this approach, you can sell any of your shortcomings. For example, sell insecurity. Tell the audience honestly and truthfully how you, having this quality, before taking an important step, consider all options for events, look at various solutions, and only then take the most beneficial step for you.

Motivation Exercises

Openness to new

To develop this valuable quality in yourself, you can use a simple, but very effective exercise, which is to find as many options as possible for the most common things. Let it be a regular towel, an old bucket, or just a piece of cardboard. come up with the largest number options for how to use these things. It is not only interesting, but also fun. Therefore, practice this exercise with your family and children. They will have a great time and work on their imagination and ingenuity.

Two random words

Open any book or magazine, randomly select any two words from the text and try to find something in common between them. Compare them, analyze, reflect and make relationships. It's efficient and fun.

An exercise to increase adaptability

Finally - known method Elevator Pitch - presentation of your business project in 30-60 seconds. Imagine that you are your own business project. Start presenting yourself as brightly as possible, while remaining honest with yourself.

To get started, use this template:

1. Profession.
2. Hobby.
3. How do I change the world for the better?

Each of these exercises will help you become better emotionally and psychologically. However, do not take emotional intelligence as a universal key to success. Life is quite multifaceted. Therefore, improve your mind, body, soul and love yourself. After all, the only thing we have control over in this world is ourselves.

Emotional intelligence is a phenomenon that, at first glance, contains a contradiction. The intellect is usually understood as the mental, cognitive sphere of a person, and emotions are something irrational that cannot be controlled by the mind.

But emotions and feelings can be controlled by the individual, fully realized, controlled by an effort of will. The ability to understand and manage one's own emotional experiences, as well as the experiences of other people, is defined as"emotional intellect".

Developing emotional intelligence is useful both for the inner harmony of the individual and for harmony in relationships with others, in the family and at work. Developed emotional intelligence contributes to the maintenance of physical and mental health.

Emotional intelligence needs to be developed because it:

• promotes awareness, understanding and acceptance of oneself, without self-flagellation and self-digging,
• develops intuition, the ability to understand non-verbal signals in communication,
• balances emotional reactions in stressful situations,
• develops stress tolerance
• teaches you to better understand other people, their emotions and feelings,
• helps to resolve communication difficulties, find compromises,
• promotes conflict resolution through cooperation,
• protects against manipulation, does not allow a person to become a victim of a manipulator,
• promotes the adoption of deliberate, rather than impulsive decisions,
• prevents emotional burnout at work,
• increases susceptibility to the signals of one's own body, develops an understanding of the psychosomatic aspect of the development of diseases,
• develops the ability to relax and rest, turning off the "internal dialogue".

Ways to develop emotional intelligence

For some people, emotional intelligence is sufficiently developed already in childhood due to the peculiarities of upbringing, while other people experience significant difficulties and need tips on how to develop the ability to understand others and themselves. Emotional intelligence develops in the process of personality development, in the course of socialization and the accumulation of life experience.

To develop emotional intelligenceneed to systematically work on yourselfin the following directions:

Widespread simple technique control of emotions called "count to ten." A person, before expressing his opinion and emotions to another individual, counts in his mind from one to ten. The essence of this technique is not in the account, but in the fact that you should first think, and then speak or do!

The wonderful proverb “Measure seven times - cut one” is the best way to characterize a developed emotional intelligence!

About emotional intelligence began to write actively and many years ago. There was even a common meme that " good man"In the XXI century - quite a" profession ".

When your emotional intelligence is high, you perceive reality more adequately, react to it more effectively and interact with others. Emotional intelligence has become one of the new tools for managing business, building effective communications and finding happiness.

But the question immediately arises: is it possible to develop emotional competencies in the same way as ordinary intelligence, logic, thinking and creativity?

Do you feel that the business environment is sometimes hostile to you? For example, does your boss not appreciate you, or does the client treat you like an empty space?

Regardless of which level career ladder you are now, I am sure that you have at least once encountered a misunderstanding. You felt left out, not appreciated enough, not treated properly. And as a consequence, you experienced suffering.

Let's face it, business isn't always fun. Some may argue that "that's how it works." However, I am sure that we can improve our situation by developing one useful skill - emotional intelligence (EI).

Darius Foroux
Entrepreneur, author of three books, podcast host https://soundcloud.com/dariusforoux. "I write about how to be more productive to build a better life, career, and business."

What is emotional intelligence, how to improve it and how to use it in a business environment?

Term emotional intellect was popularized by John Mayer of the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey of Yale University.

Mayer defines EI (also called EQ) as follows:

In the current economic situation, the skill of solving problems related to emotions is very important. Plus, we often have to work together to find a solution. So success in business is not based on your diploma, IQ test scores, or any other grade-based metrics.

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If you want to achieve meaningful results, you will have to learn how to work with other people. From this point of view, EI is a key skill that will bring you better results and greater success.

In addition, studies show that high EI is an indicator of mental health. Therefore, it affects not only your success rate, but also your level of happiness.

Better self-awareness leads to higher emotional intelligence, which in turn brings more happiness.

EI characterizes a person's ability to recognize emotions. And not only others, but also their own. I believe that before you manage and direct others, you need to understand your emotions. Therefore, EI dough is associated with self-knowledge.

Thus, emotional intelligence is an important factor in determining our success in life and in business:

• The result of high EI is self-knowledge.
• Self-awareness leads to greater happiness.
• A high level of happiness is an indicator of job satisfaction.
• Getting the joy of work, you show the best results.
• Good results lead to recognition.
• Recognition of our successes makes us feel important.
• This feeling leads us to greater happiness, better results, and so on.

Step one. Recognize your emotions.

Daniel Goleman, another pioneer in the study of emotional intelligence, is the author of Emotional Intelligence. Why it might mean more than IQ” states that we have two minds: “We literally have two minds. One thinks, the other feels.

In order to develop the part of the brain that is responsible for feelings, I like to write in a diary about my daily emotions. If you're not already journaling, start for the sake of your emotional intelligence.

Taking the first step, it is important to determine what you feel, what is the trigger for you experiences. Don't think why. Ask yourself some helpful questions:

What do you feel in different situations?

Do you get angry when you are criticized?

Do you get upset when people ignore you?

Do you freeze when all attention is on you?

Step two. Interpret your emotions

Once you have a better idea of ​​how you react to different situations, it's time to figure out your reaction. Find answers to the following questions:

How do you respond to people when you're angry?

What do you really think of them?

What is the primary source of your feelings, what upsets you, makes you happy, sad, angry?

Don't judge yourself. Your goal is to understand your emotions. No more, no less.

Step three. Manage your emotions.

it most of business success. The leader does not go with the flow or follow the energy of the group. The leader sets the atmosphere. But before you can determine the mood of the whole group, you need to learn how to maintain an internal mood. Answer yourself a few questions:

Can you get out of being sad?

Can you cheer yourself up?

Can you hold yourself back if you get too excited?

If not, work on it. Before you can control your emotions, you must learn to control them.

I used a three-step method to better identify my emotions. After trying these steps for yourself, you will learn to recognize your emotions and identify the emotions of other people. This is exactly what constitutes emotional intelligence.