KVN New Year and holiday jokes.

SCENARIO OF THE NEW YEAR KVN "MIRACLES FOR THE NEW YEAR"

Music is playing on new year theme

Vedas: Good evening.

Vedas: Finally, there is a holiday in our school,

Finally a carnival.

And, believe me, not in vain.

Everyone expected it!

Vedas: There will be contests, jokes,

Awards, prizes.

Disco very soon

He will tell you: "Don't slow down!"

Vedas: You are tired of studying.

So go ahead! To the masquerade!

But at the beginning of the New Year

Congratulations to all guys!

Vedas: Today, on New Year's Eve, all our KVN players will compete in their ability to have fun and show their talents. Light, start, and cheer the audience so that this meeting of the new year in our school will be remembered for a long time.

Vedas: Own New Year's miracles we will be represented today by 2 great teams….

Vedas: So, welcome to the team of 7th and 9th grades " (applause)

Vedas: So, welcome to the team of 8,10,11 classes "(applause)

Vedas: For the competition to take place, we must first present our competent jury.

Vedas: As part of the jury today we have ...

Vedas: The teams are in place, the jury too.

Vedas: And without whom there is no New Year?

Presenters: And now we all repeat in unison: Santa Claus!

A knock is heard and Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden appear on the stage.

Father Frost: Good afternoon and good hour!

I salute you all!

Grandpa, how many people are in the hall,
Have a nice holiday here!
So we were told the truth
That our friends are all waiting for us here.

Father Frost:
I'm still the same gray-haired
But just like being young.
Welcomes you today
And not jokingly, but seriously,
On this New Year's holiday,
Your friend Santa Claus!

Snow Maiden:

Health, joy and happiness
We wish you in New Year,
So that neither anxiety nor misfortune
They didn't guard at the gate.

Father Frost:
So that the sun gently shines
Everything that the heart is waiting for came true.
And just to be gratifying
All your life, like New Year's

(light the tree)

Snow Maiden:

Now we have really begun our evening with you. What if

If there is a beginning, then there will be a sequel.

Father Frost:
1. Our first competition "New Year's business card".

So, we meet a team of students of _____ class.

We greet the team of _____ class with thunderous applause.

Jury scores

Snow Maiden:

Let's thank the teams

2. The next competition "Warm-up - Guessing"

The teams will be given a question in turn, to which they must answer.

Jury scores

Father Frost:
3. The competition is called "Theatrical".

And now the teams will show their theatrical skills and show skits on the theme of the new year.

Jury scores

Snow Maiden:

4. The next competition is called "Sleight of Hand"

Jury scores

Father Frost:
5. Next contest "Frost Breath" We invite one young man from each team to the stage, who will demonstrate their strength and dexterity. Let's give them a round of applause. The contestants take the stage.

Each of you will try yourself in the role of Santa Claus. Your task is to blow off your snowflake. The competition continues until everyone blows off their snowflakes.

Each of the contestants puts on a hat D.M. and blows on a snowflake until it reaches the finish line. All well done, but in this competition the winner was not the one who first blew off his snowflake, but the one who was the last, because. he has such frosty breath that his snowflake "froze" to the table. Applause to our contestants.

Jury scores

Snow Maiden:

6. As we have seen, the captains can easily come to an agreement with their teams, they understand each other perfectly. And now let's see how the captains will negotiate with each other. Our next contest is the team captains contest!

Imagine, Santa Claus - and one of the team captains will play his role - was late for New Year's party at school for half an hour, besides, for some reason, he arrived without gifts. His task is to convincingly tell the headmaster (this will be the second team captain) why he was late.

For example, "Santa Claus" puts forward the following reason: one of the reindeer sprained his leg, the motor was junk, there was a strong headwind, etc. That is, there can be almost any reason for being late. The “Director” should perceive the explanations of “Santa Claus” with distrust, asking tricky questions like "Where are the gifts?" or “Where is the Snow Maiden?”.

Jury scores

Father Frost

7. And now the competition of Christmas trees. Each team presents their Christmas trees: classic and modern.

Jury scores

8. The next competition is called "Black Box".

Jury scores

Father Frost:

9. Tell me, is it possible today to imagine our life without a hit parade? Yes, without the "best twenty" the world will be duller and grayer twenty times! Mine hit parade were both of our teams. And surprisingly, it turned out that this month in both lists, different songs took first place, but with the same theme - winter.

Snow Maiden:

10. The next competition "Letter to Santa Claus." Teams must write 14 adjectives that come to mind, in any order.

(We insert them into the letter, we read).

Father Frost:

11. The competition is called "Gift to the Snow Maiden and Santa Claus".

This is the last competition. New Years is soon. Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden will give gifts to everyone, but they always forget about themselves. Let's give them our gifts.

Snow Maiden:

Well, now let's move on to the most interesting - dear jury: please announce the total number of points for all competitions.

Santa Claus immediately presents certificates of honor for prizes

1. Time flew by so quickly, minutes, half an hour, hours ...

We managed to have some fun

We managed to give you prizes!

2: A ahead fun party,

Magical, bright New Year!

Perhaps there is no more beautiful moment

When the New Year is coming!

1: Happy New Year to you-

It's so nice to congratulate you!

And we sincerely wish you

Learn not to forget!

2: More often, easier to smile

And live in peace with dad, mom.

Cheerful, fun to laugh,

For real be friends!

1.: Parting is coming,

But we mean

Parting - goodbye!

In the new, next year!

All together: Happy New Year! Until we meet again!!!

New Year is a wonderful holiday when Christmas trees, carnivals, balls are held. It has become a good tradition in our school to hold a New Year's school KVN, where students are happy to prepare for this event, and it is always fun, provocatively, and most importantly, it brings everyone: participants and fans a lot of positive.

School KVN

"The New Year walks the planet."

Purpose of the game: development best traditions the most popular among the youth genre of amateur creativity and the improvement of new forms of organizing youth leisure.

Tasks of KVN:

 support for the creative initiative of school activists;

 development of the KVN movement at school;

 identification the best teams KVN among senior classes.

The music sounds "We are starting KVN ..."

Leading: Now the middle school year

Hard frost scares the weather

Nothing! Ahead New Year

He will come to school a little - a little early

Before you hear congratulations

It will affect the mood

We will give you smiles

How can we not forgive mistakes?

Happy New Year everyone, as they say

Plans, your dreams come true

And in the second half of the main,

Let your well-being be glorious.

Good evening guys, teachers and respected members of the jury!

We are starting a meeting of the club of cheerful and resourceful, dedicated to the New Year.

Our game is called "The New Year Walks the Planet", where we hope there will be many songs, jokes, and, of course, congratulations on the upcoming New Year.

Today there are 3 teams:

11A class

11 B class

11th grade

And our New Year's fireworks will be judged by a respected jury:

Evaluation of competitions will be held on 5 - point system.

So, first competition "BUSINESS CARD", where the teams introduce themselves, greet their rivals, respected members of the jury. The request to the teams is to try to meet the time proposed by the regulations.

New Year is a wonderful holiday with songs, games, gifts, and I wonder what New Year is? I’ll check now, if you agree, then clap together, if you don’t agree, stomp.

So what is the New Year?

Is this a friendly dance?

Is this a snowstorm?

Is it a ringing drop?

Are these skis and skates?

Are these hot days?

Is this a Christmas tree?

Is it a noisy masquerade?

Is this Santa Claus?

And a bouquet of scarlet roses?

Well done! I think now there will be a bouquet of smiles, as I give the floor to the jury……….

The next competition WARM-UP, the theme is "The New Year walks the planet", the teams need to show their knowledge in the field of neither mathematics nor physics, but in the field of celebrating the New Year. There are 3 questions for each team. If the team does not respond, there is an opportunity to help the fans from the class.

1 team.

1. What was the name of the ancient Slavic prototype of Santa Claus?

A) snowman

B) Zimnik

B) refrigerator

2. In which country is accepted on New Year's table put " Money Tree»?

A) Japan

To China

3. Is it true that in Portugal there is such a tradition: while the clock strikes 12 times, everyone pulls themselves right hand for the left ear? (-)

2 team.

1. What did Grandfather Zimnik not wear?

A) gloves

B) a headdress

2. In what country is it customary to climb onto chairs and jump off right into the new year with the first strike of the clock?

A) Germany

B) Bulgaria

B) Ireland

3. Is it true that in Albania there is a tradition on the morning of January 1 to drive pigs through the streets of villages? (-)

3 team.

1. With what did the Slavic Grandfather walk in his hands?

A) with an ice stick

B) with an iron mace

B) with a wooden club

2. In which country is it customary to decorate bamboo for the New Year?

B) Norway

B) Vietnam

3. Is it true that in Scotland, with the first strike of the clock, they open the door to the street and keep it open for up to 12 strokes ?(+)

For fans:

The main thing actor New Year - Santa Claus. The real appearance of the Russian Santa Claus has long been forgotten and is often confused with Morozko, with Santa Claus. What does it look like real grandfather Freezing?

Do you believe that the gray beard and mustache of Santa Claus symbolize diligence and patience? (-, this is a symbol of power and prosperity)

Do you believe that Santa Claus wraps a white scarf around his neck? (-, D.M. does not wear a scarf)

Do you believe that Santa's belt should be white with red ornaments? (+, as a symbol of the connection between ancestors and descendants).

So, the jury's word, which of the teams turned out to be a New Year's connoisseur?

Next captain competition, it is called " New Year's masquerade, where our captains will present a New Year's costume.

While they are preparing, I invite 1 person from the class.

"Jump into the New Year"

( stretch the ribbon in front of the players , it symbolizes the junction of two years.

How do I name a number? THREE, we all make a jump into the new year, that is, we jump over the ribbon.

New year - favorite holiday,

How beautiful, look.

Let's jump into the new year together

As I say: one, two, five ....

New Year comes at midnight

You look at the clock

How the arrows come together

Let's jump together: one, two. Once.

Round dances around the Christmas tree ....

Come on, Christmas tree, burn!

Our tree will light up

As he hears: once, giving, seven.

We're tired of waiting

THREE time to say

Who jumped, well done!

Who did not jump-cucumber!

So, your way out, captains!

While the jury is summing up, we will play a little with the fans.

The next competition is called "Game with the audience", each team needs to be able to light up the hall with a game or a chant. Who is first? (fans shout New Year's chants or play games))

The floor is given to the jury.

The New Year is the brightest and most memorable holiday, and most importantly, on the New Year, everyone congratulates each other and wishes something to someone . Our last competition is "Happy New Year - musical greetings."

Accept New Year's greetings from class 11A

11b class

11B class

MEMBERS OF THE JURY (the musical number of the jury members can be found in the appendix))

While our esteemed jury is summing up, one more competition

Attention to winter snow-white!

I will name a lot of things, and you will only recognize white.

I'll tell you about white and snow - clap!

And as for anything else - stomp.

Winter... snowball... book... icicle... bunny... fox tree... snowdrift... ice cream... sausage... bus... seagull... ice... car... apple... candy... Santa Claus's beard.

The floor is given to the jury to sum up the results of our game and reward the teams . (AWARDING)

I would like to end our today's meeting with a New Year's song. Teams out! (can be found in the app)

Fans, join us!!! SING A SONG (CLAPPER)

Leading: Let there be enough tears and disasters in the world, I fulfill the order of the heart:

You have entered youth, but as in childhood, the best New Year holiday is for you

Eh guys! For good luck, ask the heavens in unison -

let me be appointed a magician - and then miracles will come!

I'll start with the fact that on the planet

Immediately - no deceit, no offense,

The best flowers. What is in the world, let the fan give the girl.

I wish the young men wonderful, to begin with become knights,

Guard all the lovely girls and invite them to the dance as soon as possible.

Do not waste time on smoking, do not poison the girls with tobacco

Try not to lose the humor, the floor is wonderful to entertain together.

I wish vivacity, good luck, let laughter be heard more often,

will be allowed challenging tasks like clockwork, everything will go well for everyone.

Try to do good to people, let everyone be lucky in something

I ask you: smile more often and then the year will be happy.

APPENDIX

Closing song to the tune "Closing the Circle"

If the windows shine bright, buy all the gifts

Serpentine, toys, confetti.

If it smells delicious of tar, from a green lush Christmas tree,

So the new year is on its way.

If we rush on a sled across a snowy meadow

Or we fly along the rink with an arrow

If the carnival swirls and makes us friends forever

So this is your holiday and mine.

Pr: Soon a merry new year will come to us

May he bring peace and happiness to the whole planet.

Let the snow sparkle, hello kind person!

May good luck await everyone in the New Year! ..

New Year is a wonderful holiday, he is a merry fellow and a prankster,

Gives people happiness without end

He covers everything with snow, lights Christmas trees everywhere

Filling hearts with joy.

If a children's laughter cheerful is heard in palaces and schools

And shines bright Star

If songs, dances are everywhere, if everything around is like in a fairy tale

So the New Year is coming!

Pr: The New Year has come, it's very good!

So we'll be together until next winter

Let the years fly, never be sad

We wish you all good health!

musical number jury for melody "If you don't have an aunt"

If you do not have a Christmas tree, and the guests are already right there

No need to run around

In the holiday hour will help you out

Cactus that grew in reserve

He is all in tinsel now.

If you have no idea how to entertain guests

Send them home soon

Let there be no worries in the new year

Doesn't tire people

Nobody takes oxygen.

The orchestra rumbles

New Year is coming to us

Think for yourself, decide for yourself

It will come or it won't.

3.If you do not have a suit in which to go to the holiday

No need to look for him in the Central Department Store

The way out is simple, you are Santa Claus

And got stuck on the way

It's worth it to visit.

The orchestra rumbles

the New Year is coming to us

think for yourself, decide for yourself

will come or not.

Teacher: Ryabenko Lilia Vladimirovna

New Year's script for high school

Goals : develop horizons and Creative skills students; promote team building.

Event progress

I. Introduction

Leading (in a snowflake costume and big white sneakers)I. Good evening! Teams of cheerful and resourceful people compete today (represents the teams). A full hall of fans suggests that in auditorium- an epidemic. Everyone will get sick!

presenter (in a snowman costume and white high-heeled shoes). Not everyone still knows that our KVN is not ordinary, but New Year's, one might say KVN-masquerade! You will find not only fireworks of New Year's jokes, but also unusual, cool carnival costumes.

Leading . So here we go! But first of all, let me introduce the members of the jury... (introduces the jury). Information for the fans: while the jury is deliberating, you can show your support for your favorite team: posters, chants, chants, songs... This way you can help the team earn extra points (max 3 points). Get sick of your health!

presenter . Stop, stop! You can’t start the game, because we don’t have a Christmas tree. How will we invite Santa Claus? I suggest that the teams work hard - dress up the Christmas tree.

II. Game tasks for teams

Presenter: - we invite you to participate in the "Christmas Tree Decoration" Competition

We need three people from the team, one of them is a girl. The girls turn into Christmas trees. And the boys dress up the girls with headscarves and Christmas decorations on clothespins. Fans are invited to evaluate the work of the teams with loud applause. The winner is the team whose Christmas tree received the noisiest approval and the jury liked it the most!

Host: so the first part of our KVN "Greeting"

Teams show a business card - a New Year's greeting. Any sketch (sketch) on the New Year theme. The maximum score in this competition is 5 points.

Song of KVNshchikov

We studied at school and did not know grief,

But they invited us to play in KVN.

Forgotten lessons and abandoned books

Now we are not just girls, boys.

Welcome to our super team!

Take a look at us - extra words no need!

Resourcefulness, humor, enthusiasm and luck.

We swear that we will give you fun!

Leading. Before the “Warm-up” competition begins, the captains, together with two assistants, must leave their team to come to us in the costume of Santa Claus. And we appreciate the originality of this costume.

You can use paper "icicles" plastic bottles and Other materials for decorating the Santa Claus costume.

Warm up

The maximum score is 5 points.

Leading. We are starting the second competition, alas, without captains. Your task is to answer the questions as quickly as possible without preparation. The faster you get to the microphone and witty answer, the higher the scores.

Questions (on a separate sheet)

Leading. I want Santa Claus! And better than two: there will be more jokes! Let's write an ad: "Young, pretty, Gillette-shaven Santa Clauses are required."

Leading. Young? Grandfather? Wonderful! What about hair?

Leading. With a ponytail!

Leading. M-yes! With a ponytail, in a fur coat and felt boots! Get hurt!

Leading. Then - young, handsome, in Levis jeans, a Versace T-shirt, Camelot boots! And what?

Leading. And with a bag on my back! Some scavenger!

presenter . With a backpack, on a skateboard and in a baseball cap!

Leading (taken aback). Who?

presenter . Father Frost! (To the audience.) Let's call them! Grandpa!

Santas are coming out team captains,

Santas (in chorus).

We are young brothers

Frosts are gone.

One (points to himself).

I am Frost Red Nose!

Another . I am Frost Blue nose.

Third . And I'm Frost purple nose!

Presenter: our wonderful grandfathers will take part in the captains competition. Captains competition. Original new year greetings and wishes to the teams and fans

Santa Claus 1 . The smartest and the most daring, help! My friends and I decided to open own business- the Moroz company (gifts are getting more expensive!), but we don’t know where to start.

presenter . With ads, of course! Where did Frost fall from? Still do not know the main engine of trade?

Santa Claus 2. That's it, my dear, it's her, this advertisement, come up with us!

The teams present their options. The maximum score is 5 points.

Creative competition for teachers "I am writing to you"

presenter . But I wonder how to check if our Santa Clauses are real?

Leading . Yes, very easy! Real Santa Clauses do not have a bite after the first rhyme!

Leading. And real teachers always start checking after the first one...

Leading ... .availability of the second?

presenter . What are you! Notebooks!

Leading . Even on New Years?

presenter . This process is endless!

Leading. Why do you think _______ always looks under the table?

Leading. Admire the shoes!

Leading. Aha! On the composition that she has on her knees! No time to waste!

Leading. Then it remains for us to creative competition for teachers.

Leading. We give you leaflets on which you see rhymes. You also need to compose a small New Year's quatrain in 5 minutes. Nothing complicated! Your students, go ahead, load on full program!

Task for teachers

Presenter: -You should make a Happy New Year greeting to all participants in the evening so that a word is repeated 10 times, for example, “ate-fall”

Competition "Ice Sculpture"

Teams must draw an ice sculpture and give it a name. Preparation time - 45 seconds. The maximum score is 5 points.

Competition "Round dance"

Leading. You all know that the New Year cannot do without a round dance around the Christmas tree. The task of the team is to dance in a round dance, put the “herringbone” in the center of the round dance, and their Santa Claus next to it.

Each team has its own music, for example (lambada, oriental, psy opa gag us style, dance of little ducklings), the teams perform in turn. The maximum score is 7 points.

Competition for the best and original song.

Options

Southern version of the song about the Christmas tree

(To the motive "A Christmas tree was born in the forest")

A cactus was born in the steppe,

Lived in the sultry desert,

Was slim and green

Like a crocodile.

The camel sang songs to him:

Sleep, cactus, bye-bye.

The dune was wrapped in sand:

Look, don't freeze!

Sometimes the jerboa is gray

Jumped under a cactus.

Sometimes a skinny angry coyote

Ran in the area.

But here came to the prairie

Cowboy on horseback

And, lassoing a cactus,

Take him home.

Now an elegant cactus

Will come to us in a pot

And lots and lots of joy

Bring the kids.

new year potpourri

(The Ensemble of the Russian song "Baba Mani." Handkerchiefs are tied under the chin. They sing to the tune "

There was a birch in the field.")

Oh, there was a tree in the forest,

Oh, there was a green one in the forest.

Lyuli-lyuli, stood. (2 times)

Someone break that tree,

Break some green

Here the man went for a walk,

Break the Christmas tree for the kids

Lyuli-lyuli, break it. (2 times)

The tree is shining with lights

Leads round dances with us,

Lyuli-lyuli, with us. (2 times)

(Group "Advanced Mary". Handkerchiefs are tied like bandanas. They perform rap.)

Christmas tree sticks, green needles!

On a sunny meadow

The tree grew.

E-tree, tree. (2 times)

Once in a fierce cold

One man came

Saw very sharp

On the Christmas tree, whack and whack.

crazy teens

They danced until morning.

Gathered at the Christmas tree

Cool bro.

(A group of semi-manufacturers "Golden Masha". Handkerchiefs on their hips. They sing to the tune of the song "Fish".)

In the distant, icy taiga

The Christmas tree misses the kids

Cold dark winter

Dreaming of bright lights.

And she doesn't need anything

No forest, no winter, no cold.

Only tinsel and serpentine,

And she needs a children's round dance.

Chorus:

Oh, the Christmas tree, my Christmas tree - they cut it down.

Green needles fell off the Christmas tree.

Competition "Homework"

Teams demonstrate parodies of their favorite TV programs Maximum score - 7 points .

III. Final part

Leading.

How fast the time has flown

Minutes, half an hour, hours...

We had fun

We managed to give you prizes!

Leading.

And ahead of a fun holiday

Magical bright New Year!

Perhaps there is no more beautiful moment

When the new year comes!

Leading.

Happy New Year to you -

It's so nice to congratulate you!

And we sincerely wish you

Learn not to forget!

Leading.

More often, it's easier to smile

And live in peace with dad, mom.

Cheerful, fun to laugh,

Really be friends!

Common song

Winter

(To the motive of the song "Earth in the porthole", music by V. Miguli)

Winter, winter flaunts
Houses in the snow and streets
The trees are all frozen in silver.
Gifts are bought
And people smile
After all, we are all waiting for the New Year in December!
Puddles sparkle with ice
Decorated with snowflakes
Villages, cities and winter forest,
Crows wash themselves in snow
And soon we will open
The world of magic, unknown miracles!

Chorus:

And let all the fairy tales come together
And let them give the world miracles.
And let all the people join hands
And the whole earth will be happy!

Let the trees dress up
And let the dreams come true
Fun, joy will come to every home!
Let poetry and music
In all hearts will spin,
May a Happy New Year come!
The lights are shining
Champagne explodes
Smiles, masks, sparkles, mess!
Let the holiday never end
Let it continue.
Thank you, Zimushka-Zima!

(The song "New Year" sounds, Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden come out)

Father Frost:

I kind grandfather Freezing!

I move everyone to tears.

I love cheeks and noses

Deprive the natural beauty!

Hey guys, I'm here.

I found a bag in the forest

What's in that bag - I don't know myself,

But we will divide everything in half.

Snow Maiden:

What are you, Santa Claus,

Forgetful you are!

There is a whole cart in a bag of gifts,

You made it hard on your own!

But don't touch them now.

Prizes for the fair

Get to destination:

Per the best game- to the teams

Fans - for entertainment.

Father Frost:

What are you talking about, granddaughter?

I don't understand something

What kind of fans, what teams are here.

We walked with you on snow and on ice,

To congratulate everyone.

Play musicians!

Snow Maiden:

No, wait!

Grandpa, come on!

KVN invited us to watch

This is the youth.

Some strange you today, I don’t understand ...

Come on, hit the staff on the ice

And remember, finally, everything.

Why are we here together today?

Father Frost:

I remembered everything! Ice me freeze!

Rotten old, not cheerful Santa Claus!

The jury, I have to represent you guys,

Applaud him to put

Some ratings are "five".

(Represented by the jury)

Father Frost(bows):

Your obedient servant and my granddaughter.

Snow Maiden:

We wish you Happy New Year!

We wish you all victory!

We invite the first team to the stage

And we start KVN!

(The song "We start KVN" sounds)

Contests

1. Team greetings.

2. Warm up:

a) what would that mean?

Plaster, pride, perch.

Cataclysm, hairbrush, stuntman;

(Assignments are given for each team in turn)

Snow Maiden:

In the meantime, the teams are preparing, I announce

3. Competition of fans. Auction of words on the theme: "New Year".

Snow Maiden:

4. Competition: "Film, film, film" ( homework).

Father Frost:

Well, now homework. "Movies" based on the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood" in different styles: Italian comedy, Brazilian TV series, American action movie.

5. Competition of captains.

A) Questionnaire.

Listen carefully to the sequence in which you need to describe your opponent from memory (correct answers are compared): height, fullness, age, eye color, name, nose shape, hair color, gait, character, what he wears (read out by the leader quickly enough).

B) Comic quadrathlon.

Who will quickly move the matchbox with his nose to the finish line?

Running with obstacles. (Blindfolded, run around the pins and return to the place. A knocked down pin is minus 1 point)

Depict: an angry pig; human,

unsuccessfully kicking a stone; sad penguin.

B) hair.

(While the music is playing, the captains draw hairstyles on special whatman paper with a cutout for the head, which will then be “tried on” by assistants from the fans)

6. Musical competition(homework).

Snow Maiden:

While the jury is summing up, we will play with you.

The game "Teapot with a lid"

To the melody "The Heart of a Beauty ..." we sing:

Teapot with lid

There is a knob in the lid.

There is a hole in the cone,

Father Frost:

We congratulate the winning team!

And we start the disco with fun pop music.

Snow Maiden:

We'll say goodbye for a while -

Until next winter.

Goodbye everyone!

Father Frost:

In fact, school teams can joke not only about school topics, but also about any other: about the police, about celebrities, and on everyday topics. The main thing is that in their jokes a childish look at things should be preserved, otherwise the audience simply will not believe them.

Are your parents in total control of you? Brazenly interfere in your personal life? Do not notice that you have grown? Nothing, go to first grade - everything will change.

After a series of films about Harry Potter, schools began to be more careful to slander little rickety bespectacled people.

A criminal case was opened against the group "Timati and the Gang" under the article "Banditism and Timatism"

I'm talking to all the adults in the room. Admit it, in fifth grade you all giggled when you heard the word "polynomial."

Sponsor of the Yaroslavl Colors team. "Yaroslavl paints" - painted and forgotten.

The naughty boy did not put on his hat, and he was run over by KamAZ.

An operative from Chelyabinsk delayed his son in mental development.

Ad. We organize and conduct corporate holidays, bacchanalia, apocalypses and Armageddon with the participation of Russian pop stars.

News of show business. The group "Uranus 238" broke up.

Andrey Gubin does not grow because of the fear of heights.

The program "Stars on Ice" with the participation of Philip Kirkorov, Evgeny Petrosyan, the group "Factor-2" will be filmed at the end of March on the ice of Lake Peipsi.

Glamor girls are 80 percent eau de toilette.

The killer thong cut the blonde in half.

With the words "Let me smoke" the next boxing championship in Lyubertsy began.

Advanced pigeons do not peck at breadcrumbs after 6 pm.

If a fan of Dima Bilan plays Dima Bilan's songs for several hours in a row, then her kidneys may fail.

Zimbabwean Santa Claus prepared a boy who did not prepare a rhyme.

Bill Gates goes into sleep mode after 20 minutes of silence.

Having bought a ball and a nipple to the pump, the Bangladesh team has risen by 5 points in the FIFA rankings.

Reading the table for checking the eyesight of an ophthalmologist, Glucose recorded a new hit.

That's all for now. These short text jokes are enough to successfully “shoot back” in the KVN biathlon.

Want more jokes? I have them

Keep in mind that this page is viewed by 100-150 people a day. Among them may be your rivals. Another 60 jokes for biathlon or the 5 News contest, but already "not illuminated" on the internet, you can