Japanese funeral. Funeral traditions in Japan: traditions, attitude towards death How the Japanese arrange a funeral

Japanese funerals (jap. so: gi?) include a funeral service, cremation of the deceased, burial in a family grave, and periodic memorial services. According to 2007 data, about 99.81% of the dead in Japan were cremated. Most of them were later buried in family graves, but in recent years, scattering of ashes, burial at sea or launching capsules with the deceased into space has gained popularity. The average cost of a Japanese funeral is 2.3 million yen, one of the highest in the world. One of the main reasons for this high cost is the lack of space in cemeteries (especially Tokyo). Another is the inflated prices in Japanese funeral halls, as well as the hesitation of the relatives of the deceased to negotiate the terms of the funeral and compare prices. In recent years, more and more Japanese families are opting for more modest and less expensive funeral arrangements.
Since there is an interweaving of beliefs in Japan (see Religion in Japan), funerals are usually held according to Buddhist rites. After death, the lips of the deceased are moistened with water - this is called the Death Water Ceremony (Jap. Matsugo no mizu?). The family tomb is covered with white paper to protect the deceased from unclean spirits. This is called kamidana fuji. A small table decorated with flowers, incense and candles is placed next to the bed of the deceased. A knife may be placed on the chest of the deceased to ward off evil spirits.
Relatives and superiors are notified, as well as a death certificate is issued. According to custom, the eldest son takes responsibility for organizing the funeral. After contacting the temple to determine the date of the ceremony: some believe that certain days will be more auspicious. For example, some days, which, according to superstitious ideas, happen once a month, are called tomobiki (jap. ?); these days, all things end in failure, and the funeral entails someone else's death. The body is washed, and the holes are plugged with cotton or gauze. For men, the last garment is a suit, and for women, a kimono. Although sometimes kimonos are also used for men, in general, this is not very popular. Makeup is also applied to improve the appearance. Then the body is placed on dry ice - for the most practical coffin, a white kimono, sandals and six coins are placed there, in order to cross the Sanzu River; things that the deceased loved during his lifetime (for example, cigarettes or sweets) are also placed in the coffin. Next, the coffin is placed on the altar so that the head looks north or west (this is mainly done by Buddhists to prepare the soul for the journey to the Western Paradise).
Despite the fact that in the old days it was customary to wear white clothes to funerals, now people come in black. Men wear a black suit with a white shirt and black tie, and women wear either a black dress or a black kimono. If the family of the deceased was committed to Buddhism, then guests usually bring a rosary with them, which is called juzu (jap. ?). Guests can bring money as a token of condolence in a special envelope decorated with silver and black flowers. Depending on the relationship with the deceased and his wealth, this amount can vary from 3,000 to 30,000 yen. The guests, along with their relatives, sit closer, and the Buddhist priest begins to read a passage from the sutra. Each member of the family burns incense three times in front of the deceased. At the same time, the guests perform the same rituals in other places. As soon as the priest finishes reading, the funeral service ends. Each invited guest gives a gift, the value of which is half or a quarter of the money that he presents in an envelope. Close relatives may stay and serve the vigil during the night.
Funerals usually take place the day after the funeral. Incense is also lit and the priest reads the sutra. During the ceremony, the deceased is given a new Buddhist name - kaimyo (jap. kaimyo:?). This allows you not to disturb the soul of the deceased when his real name is mentioned. The length and prestige of the name depends on the length of life of the deceased, but most often on the amount of donations made by the family to the temple. So the names range from free and cheap to rare ones that can cost a million yen or more. The high prices charged by temples are a frequent topic of discussion in Japan, especially as some temples put pressure on many families to buy a more expensive name. As a rule, the kanji used in these kaimyo are very old and not used in common names, so few people can read them. At the end of the ceremony, before the coffin is placed in a decorated hearse and taken to the crematorium, guests and relatives may place flowers on the head and shoulders of the deceased. In some regions of Japan, it is customary for the closest relative of the deceased to nail the coffin, using a stone instead of a hammer.
Nowadays, a person who attends a funeral is considered defiled. Before entering his house, he must sprinkle fine salt on his shoulders, and also throw a little salt on the ground and step on it with his feet in order to cleanse himself both above and below, and not bring filth into the house - everyone receives a bag of this salt. participant in the funeral ceremony before leaving home. When visiting a cemetery, such a ritual is not performed, since desecration apparently does not occur.

modern funeral

After death

Since there is an interweaving of beliefs in Japan (see Religion in Japan), funerals are usually held according to Buddhist rites. After death, the lips of the deceased are moistened with water - this is called the Death Water ceremony. (jap. 末期の水 matsugo no mizu) . The family tomb is covered with white paper to protect the deceased from unclean spirits. This is called kamidana-fuji. A small table decorated with flowers, incense and candles is placed next to the bed of the deceased. A knife may be placed on the chest of the deceased to ward off evil spirits.

Relatives and superiors are notified, as well as a death certificate is issued. According to custom, the eldest son takes responsibility for organizing the funeral. After contacting the temple to determine the date of the ceremony: some believe that certain days will be more auspicious. For example, some days, which, according to superstitious beliefs, happen once a month, are called tomobiki. (jap. 友引); these days, all things end in failure, and the funeral entails someone else's death. The body is washed, and the holes are plugged with cotton or gauze. For men, the last garment is a suit, and for women, a kimono. Although sometimes kimonos are also used for men, in general, this is not very popular. Makeup is also applied to improve the appearance. The body is then placed on dry ice in a coffin, along with a white kimono, sandals, and six coins, in order to cross the Sanzu River; things that the deceased loved during his lifetime (for example, cigarettes or sweets) are also placed in the coffin. Next, the coffin is placed on the altar so that the head looks north or west (this is mainly done by Buddhists to prepare the soul for the journey to the Western Paradise).

funeral service

Traditional design of the envelope for money

Buddhist altar with wreaths, a portrait of the deceased and funeral tablets

People come in black. Men wear a black suit with a white shirt and black tie, and women wear either a black dress or a black kimono. If the family of the deceased was Buddhist, then the guests usually bring a rosary with them, which is called juzu (jap. 数珠). Guests can bring money as a token of condolence in a special envelope decorated with silver and black flowers. Depending on the relationship with the deceased and his wealth, this amount can vary from 3,000 to 30,000 yen. The guests, along with their relatives, sit closer, and the Buddhist priest begins to read a passage from the sutra. Each member of the family burns incense three times in front of the deceased. At the same time, the guests perform the same rituals in other places. As soon as the priest finishes reading, the funeral service ends. Each invited guest gives a gift, the value of which is half or a quarter of the money that he presents in an envelope. Close relatives may stay and serve the vigil during the night.

The funeral

Funerals usually take place the day after the funeral. Incense is also lit and the priest reads the sutra. During the ceremony, the deceased is given a new Buddhist name - kaimyo. (jap. 戒名 kaimyo:) . This allows you not to disturb the soul of the deceased when his real name is mentioned. The length and prestige of the name depends on the length of life of the deceased, but most often on the amount of donations made by the family to the temple. So the names range from free and cheap to rare ones that can cost a million yen or more. The high prices charged by temples are a frequent topic of discussion in Japan, especially as some temples put pressure on many families to buy a more expensive name. As a rule, the kanji used in these kaimyo are very old and not used in common names, so few people can read them. At the end of the ceremony, before the coffin is placed in a decorated hearse and taken to the crematorium, guests and relatives may place flowers on the head and shoulders of the deceased. In some regions of Japan, it is customary for the closest relative of the deceased to nail the coffin, using a stone instead of a hammer.

Nowadays, a person who attends a funeral is considered defiled. Before entering his house, he must sprinkle fine salt on his shoulders, and also throw a little salt on the ground and step on it with his feet in order to cleanse himself both above and below, and not bring filth into the house - everyone receives a bag of this salt. participant in the funeral ceremony before leaving home. When visiting a cemetery, such a ritual is not performed, since desecration apparently does not occur.

Cremation

Ancestor worship and memorial services

It is believed that after death the deceased does not leave his family, but continues to be a member of it, but being in a new state at the highest level of the family hierarchy.

Memorial services depend on local customs. A number of such services usually follow death - for example, during the first 7 or 49 days after death; or on the 7th, 49th and 100th day - it all depends on the customs. It is customary to hold memorial services four times a year: on New Year's Eve, the Obon holiday, on the days of the spring and autumn equinoxes (Higan).

During the several days of the Obon celebration, a specific treat is placed on the altar of the ancestors - not only boiled rice and green tea, which are supposed to be put every day, but also miso soup - that is, the traditional food of the Japanese. Moreover, in stores, food these days is already cooked and decorated for the ancestors. All this fits into small dishes. Often, yesterday's food is not thrown away, but accumulated, and on the last day of the celebration, when the souls of the ancestors are sent back, this food is loaded onto tiny boats and allowed to sail into the sea. They also put paper lanterns with candles. But nowadays, in order to avoid pollution of the sea, lanterns are then driven to the shore and burned. There is a custom in the first year of the Obon celebration to send food to the family of the deceased, which can be placed on the altar as an offering, or money for these products. Often they send exactly those products that a person loved during his lifetime. However, unusual sticks are provided to the ancestors for food. The chopsticks are broken in half and stuck vertically into the food, which is against the rules of Japanese etiquette, because it is considered a bad omen, as it used to be used to stick the chopsticks into the rice at the head of the deceased. Now shortened (in accordance with the dishes) red lacquered sticks are used. On the day of the arrival and departure of the ancestors, it is customary to burn dry stems and straw in front of the house to light the way with them.

Interestingly, at present, in a Japanese house, the ancestor cult celebrates in front of a Buddhist altar with tablets on which the names of the deceased are written. However, the altar is available only in the main house - honke (jap. 本家 "main house") , the house of the eldest son, who inherited seniority from his father. In the house, for example, the youngest son - bunke (jap. 分家 "partial", "separated house") it is not supposed to have an altar until someone dies in the house. However, even in this case, there will be a tablet on the altar with the name of the deceased, and not with the names of parents or grandparents, not to mention more distant ancestors.

As already mentioned, the deceased continues to be considered a member of the family and they really communicate with him as if he were alive. For example, a schoolboy, having received a certificate, is showing it to his deceased grandparents, presenting him on his knees in front of the altar with a brief story about the circumstances of obtaining. Also, the ancestors are told about important purchases and often they can leave new property at the altar for several days.

The service can be repeated on the 1st, and sometimes on the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 13th, and several more times up to the 39th or 50th year from the date of death. The photograph of the deceased is usually placed near or on the family altar.

However, the ancestor does not always remain in the family in the form of a death tablet, and being an object of veneration, it is believed that after two generations have passed, the memory of the deceased is lost. In such a case, the head of the house either burns the tablet, or throws it into the sea, or the name is scraped off it, or it is transferred to a Buddhist temple. Interestingly, in some places it is believed that the ancestor then becomes a kami, i.e. a Shinto deity. Thus, by this verbal formula, the deceased is transferred from a narrow family ancestor-patron to the level of a deity - the patron of the entire community, although special honors are no longer given to him.

Funeral business in Japan

Japanese funerals are among the most expensive in the world. According to the Japan Consumers Association, the average cost of a funeral hovers around 2.31 million yen (USD 25,000). This amount includes meals for funeral staff (401,000 yen) and priest services (549,000 yen). In general, the income from such a business is about 1.5 trillion yen. And that's for 45,000 funeral homes. In 2004, 1.1 million people died in Japan (in 2003 - 1.0 million). This figure is expected to increase due to the increasing average age (see demographics in Japan). Funeral businesses estimate 1.7 million deaths by 2035 and $2 trillion in revenue by 2040.

There are a number of reasons explaining the high cost of funerals. First of all, prices in Japan are already among the highest in the world. However, a more significant reason is that the relatives of the deceased are very reluctant to negotiate prices and do not try to compare them, as they do not want to be thought that they are trying to save money on the funeral of a loved one. And this is abused by funeral homes, deliberately inflating prices and offering not the best conditions even for families who can hardly afford it. Often, agents aggressively put pressure on relatives, forcing them to sign expensive contacts. Moreover, in many cases, the final cost of the funeral is not known until after it is completed. A 2005 study showed that, in 96% of cases, the free choice of services did not meet the requirements and many decisions were made for the clients. 54.4% of funeral parlors offered a choice of price lists and catalogs to choose between different options.

Recently, however, there have been some changes in the field of funeral services. And some funeral homes are trying to offer more competitive and flexible prices than standard funeral services. They offer funeral arrangements starting at 200,000 yen, several standard overpriced services, and a variety of additional options to choose from. Many of the new funeral parlors are set up by foreigners. Moreover, for some time now, with a decrease in the number of weddings, hotels have begun to offer funeral services. So the competition increases, because in order to stay afloat, old funeral homes have to cut prices. Another innovation is that a person orders all services before his death and pays a monthly fee (for example, 10,000 yen) until all expenses are covered.

Story

Jōmon and Yayoi periods

One of the forms of burial before the advent of burial mounds was a rite, when the body in a funeral boat was sent along the sea waves. It is possible that at the beginning of the Kurgan period the sarcophagus itself had the shape of a boat. During the excavation of one of the burial mounds in Kyushu, a drawing was discovered that depicts a man with an oar, standing at the stern of a gondola-type boat, there were something like two masts with sails on the bow, and a bird is also sitting on the boat. In the upper part of the boat, on the right, there is a round disk resembling the sun, and on the left, a smaller one, probably lunar. Below is a sitting toad. The image of the moon, sun, toad and bird is found together in China and Korea and must represent the journey of the soul to the abode of the dead.

It is noteworthy that, judging by the texts, the tomb itself was often called fune. (jap. 船 fune, "boat"), and the entrance to it is funeiri (jap. 船入 funairi, "entrance to the boat"). Probably, the archaistic belief in marebitogami was also associated with the concept of a boat,

In ancient times, people were buried in Japan in many ways, including such exotic ones as burials in water or on a tree. But still, two methods of burial were usually used: air and burial in the ground or inhumation. Air burial consisted in the fact that the body was left in the mountains or simply in any deserted area. As a rule, ordinary people used air burial, and noble people temporarily exposed the body of the deceased, then burying it in the ground.

In old Japan, the body was prepared for burial by all the villagers. They washed him, dressed him in white. Buddhist priests conducted the funeral. After that, everyone together carried the body to the place of burial or cremation.

Now, when a person dies in Japan, relatives agree with the priest and ritual agency about the date of the funeral. Usually the funeral takes place on the second day. However, a postponement of the date is also possible if the death occurred at the beginning or end of the year or on a day that is considered unfavorable.

The deceased is laid with his head to the north. To scare away the evil Ears, a knife is placed on the chest or next to the head. Candles and incense are constantly burning nearby. During the entire period of mourning, which can last up to 49 days, a death notice is posted on the front door.

At the end of all the rituals, the body of the deceased is placed in a coffin, which can be ordinary, where the deceased is placed lying down, or in the form of a box, where the deceased can be in a sitting position. Then the coffin is boarded up and carried to the crematorium. After burning, the relatives collect the remains of the deceased in a small urn. True, depending on the condition of the relatives, the urn can be large and very expensive.
The urn is placed on a special altar, where it stays for 49 days if the deceased is a man and 35 if it is a woman. Every seventh day, relatives and friends gather at the altar for memorial services.

All these days, relatives wear mourning. At this time, they can not have fun and go on holidays. It is believed that on the 49th day the process of purification of the spirit of the deceased is completed. After that, the urn with the ashes is placed in the cemetery ground.

The cemetery is usually located in some green area. Be sure to visit a Buddhist temple nearby. The arrangement of the grave is subject to the laws of feng shui. However, in modern Japan, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a good place.

After the funeral, ritual ceremonies are held daily, then monthly, then annually. The deceased is expected on the Day of Remembrance of All the Dead and on all other major holidays. For this, relatives go to the cemetery with an offering. Food, incense sticks, flowers are placed on the grave.

Death and funeral in Japan

The majority of the Japanese profess Buddhism and believe in obligatory samsara, that is, the relocation of the souls of the dead to one of the 6 worlds. Buddhist views and traditions thus affected the Japanese funeral rite.

He was also influenced by the traditional Japanese religion of Shintoism, which deified nature and divided everything into pure and impure. From his point of view, death was perceived as something extremely unclean. Therefore, the deceased himself must be cleansed, as well as the participants in the funeral after the ceremony.

Death

loved ones in Japan is perceived as a grievous loss (despite the belief that the spirit of the deceased will be incarnated in a new life). Therefore, mourning, including in public, and even crying is considered a common thing. However, the Japanese still do not express very violent feelings in connection with the death of their loved ones because of the restraint called for by national cultural codes.

Immediately after someone in the family has died, the relatives invite a Buddhist priest and a representative of the funeral agency to the house. The first must take care of the soul, the second - of the body of the deceased. But even before that, it is necessary to conduct an ancient rite called the “posthumous sip of water” (matsugo no mizu).

To do this, all family members in turn (which is organized according to the greatest family proximity of each of those present) must wipe the mouth of the deceased with cotton wrapped around a chopstick and soaked in water. The next step is to cleanse the body. Previously, this was done by relatives, now they are most often helped by a representative of the agency, and sometimes relatives do not take part in the washing at all.

First, the body is washed with hot water, then wiped with alcohol or another disinfectant liquid. Cotton swabs soaked in alcohol or sake are placed in the mouth, nostrils and anus so that impurities do not leak out (embalming bodies in Japan is not customary).

clothe

deceased differently. Often, a traditional kimono - kekatabira - is chosen for this. Previously, it was always white (that is, mourning color) with the sutras written on it. Now white is invariably used for women's and children's burial clothes, while a man can be buried in a black suit with a white shirt or in a colored kimono.

The deceased is dressed in mortal clothing according to the Sakigoto tradition - that is, in a different (namely, reverse) order than the living usually wear. For example, buttons are fastened from the bottom up, kimonos are wrapped from right to left, etc. All this is done to separate the world of the dead from the world of the living. On the legs of the deceased, leggings are usually put on (only for a kimono, and socks for a suit) and straw slippers. In this form, the deceased is placed in a coffin on a pre-spread white linen. Women are covered with a scarf and a white veil, and a quilted blanket is thrown over the male body, which must be turned inside out. The face of the deceased is tinted and covered with a white cloth, a rosary is placed in the hands, and a cloth bag is put over the shoulder.

All these clothes and paraphernalia seem to indicate that a person is prepared for a pilgrimage in order to become a Buddha. By the way, in Japan, when they talk about someone's death, they use the allegory "became a Buddha." And to scare away evil spirits, a knife is placed in the coffin: at the head or on the chest.

Further, according to the unchanging Japanese custom, a place at the coffin is arranged in a special way, which is placed next to the family altar with the head to the north, and the face of the deceased should be turned towards the west. An inverted screen and a special table with incense and other incense in censers, flowers, water and rice in a cup with chopsticks stuck vertically are placed at the head of the coffin. Sometimes you can see rice buns on it. A painted portrait of the deceased is hung on the wall. At the same time, the Japanese never use photographic images at funerals.

funeral services

the Japanese pass in 2 days. On the evening of the 1st day, the so-called short funeral vigil is held (it lasts 3 hours), before which the deceased is given a posthumous name (border). This name is necessary because, according to faith, the deceased becomes a disciple of the Buddha, a monk, who should now be called differently than in life. Everyone who wants to express condolences to the family comes to the first service.

At the end of it, it is customary to read telegrams of condolences and speak about the deceased, and then a short commemoration is organized. There is no meat on the table during them, but they are always treated with sweets, tea and sake. At night in modern Japan, one may not be present near the body. On the 2nd day, a memorial service is held in the temple before the funeral.

The funeral

in Japan, it is usually prescribed on the second day after the death of a person. It is considered a good sign if a lot of people come to them. The clothes of the mourners are necessarily black kimonos, dresses and suits. Those who come bring money in envelopes made of special paper with a silver pattern. They are tied with black thin ribbons.

The last farewell to the deceased takes place after the temple service at the altar, after which the coffin is boarded up (often by relatives), placed in a decorated hearse, and the funeral procession leaves for the crematorium.

Cremation

The most popular type of burial in Japan. When it is carried out, the mourners in the next room should tell each other funny and touching stories from the life of the deceased.

After the time allotted for cremation has elapsed (usually it takes two to two and a half hours), the crematorium employees take out the ashes on a tray, from which the relatives transfer it to the urn with chopsticks.

First, they try to select the bones of the legs, then the pelvis and spine, then the arms and head. Subsequently, the urn with the ashes is embedded in a monument in the cemetery, which stands on the grave with family graves.

Monuments to the Japanese

always made of stone and, if possible, massive and beautiful. There are no portraits on them - only names. But the forms of stones are very diverse, up to sculptural compositions and complex memorial structures.

commemorate

their deceased Japanese usually on the days of the spring and autumn equinoxes. This is usually March 20 or 21 and September 23 or 24.

These days, everyone who can is trying to visit and put in order family graves and light candles and lanterns on them in order to illuminate the path through the afterlife for the souls of their ancestors. In some provinces, a similar feast of the dead is celebrated in April.

02.06.2014

Death and funeral in Japan

Approximately 1.3 million people die in Japan every year, this figure is gradually increasing as the population ages and is expected to reach close to 2 million by 2035. With an average life expectancy of more than 80 years, the Japanese most often die, as in other developed countries, from heart disease and oncology. About 45,000 private and public companies with an annual income of about 1.5 trillion yen are employed in the field of funeral services.

Despite the abundance of atheists and agnostics, more than 90% of funerals are carried out according to the Buddhist rite, with some inclusion of Shinto traditions. According to Buddhist beliefs, the soul of the deceased stays next to the body for 49 days before going to another world. There is a funeral ritual that is guaranteed to provide the soul with an easy journey and protect relatives from unnecessary contacts with the other world. As in Russia, the circumstances of death, the wealth of relatives and the volume of ritual rites vary greatly, a magnificent funeral in a wealthy religious family and a state free burial are two different things, so the following text is a generalization.

Day one: Death, body preparation and all-night vigil

If the death occurred at home, the doctor establishes the fact of death, determines whether there are grounds for a post-mortem examination of the body and writes out a death certificate. In Japan, autopsy is relatively rare. Often they resort to the so-called virtual autopsy when the cause of death is determined by the results of computed tomography. Full autopsies are performed under unclear circumstances of death and suspicion of medical error. In cases of violent death or suicide, an autopsy is not always performed, especially if the cause of death at first glance is not in doubt. The desire to keep the body intact until cremation is associated with Buddhist beliefs when post-mortem injuries to a corpse are equated with mockery and can anger or offend the spirit of the deceased. This nuance leads to the fact that some murders in Japan are not solved, so without an autopsy it is difficult to distinguish, for example, a murder from a staged suicide. That is why in Russia all cases of violent death are subject to mandatory post-mortem research, regardless of the opinion of relatives or the orders of the deceased himself.

Parting

farewell room

After the death, a representative of the funeral company comes to the relatives, and the issues of the place and time of the funeral are resolved. A funeral director, or chief mourner, is appointed. Most often, this role is taken on by the person closest to the deceased - the husband, wife, eldest son. The funeral company then bathes the body of the deceased in a ritual called Matsugo no mizu (Death Wash). In the past, this role was performed by close people of the deceased, but now more and more often this difficult ritual is trusted by professionals. Embalming is usually not performed. Often at large hospitals there are representative offices of funeral companies that can organize farewell on the territory of the clinic.

Usually the body is placed in the room where the family altar is located for the farewell prayer. If for some reason it is not possible to put the body at home (for example, due to the small size or inappropriate appearance of the room), then it is placed in a special hall of the funeral company, it is also called the "Hotel for the Dead". At the same time, the home altar (if any) is sealed with white paper to protect the sacred place from the unclean spirit of the deceased, regardless of where the farewell is held.

Inside the room

Funerary clothes

Clothes for the deceased

Men are buried in a black suit, while the bodies of women and children are dressed in a white kyokabara kimono. The white color of all robes and many decorations is associated with the Buddhist pilgrimage - this manifests the Buddhist belief that people after death become a kind of pilgrimage to another world.

How to wear a kimono

The sequence of putting on clothes is important, the floors are wrapped from right to left, then the back sides of the hands and wrists are closed, a pair of leggings and straw slippers are put on the feet, a rosary is put into the hands, a white triangular scarf is tied around the head. For men, the buttons of the suit are fastened from the bottom up. The body is covered with a quilt turned inside out. The place where the deceased lies is fenced off with an inverted screen. All these are elements of Sakigoto - a funeral ritual, when all actions are performed in reverse, turned upside down to confuse the spirit of death and he could not come for any other of his relatives. To do so in ordinary life is a bad sign. Therefore, if you wear a kimono, pay attention to this. By the way, if you have seen the popular anime series Bleach, take a closer look at the clothes of the Shinigami gods of death.

Why You Shouldn't Stick Chopsticks in Rice

Incense and incense are kindled on a table near the head, a cup of rice is placed and sticks are stuck vertically into it (which is why sticks should not be stuck into rice in ordinary life), rice buns are laid out on a piece of white paper. The table is also decorated with burning candles, white chrysanthemums and shiki - Japanese magnolias. The decoration of the deathbed is called makura kazari, literally - "decoration of the pillow."

The head of the deceased should be turned to the north, and the face to the west. After death, the body of the Buddha lay in this position. According to Japanese beliefs, the spirit of the deceased is likened to the Buddha, as it reaches enlightenment and nirvana, so “becoming a Buddha” is a euphemism for the word “die”. The temple holds a service for the deceased, it is called Karitsuya, which means "Temporary Vigil."

Day Two: Hontsuya

All day and all night, relatives spend near the body of the deceased, keeping candles and incense sticks burning, in prayers and without sleep, this ritual is called Hontsuya.

Parting

First, a Buddhist priest comes into the hall and recites a sutra loudly. The chief steward then performs a ritual called Shoko, burning incense to honor the spirit of the deceased. After that, all those present, in order of consanguinity, repeat his manipulations. The deceased is given a new name - Kaime. Usually Kaime is made up of rare hieroglyphs, often already obsolete. It is believed that having received a new name, the spirit of the deceased person will not be disturbed when loved ones mention his real name. It is considered bad luck to speak aloud to the Kaime of dead people. With the exception of the Emperor, who is given a posthumous name at birth, it is not customary in Japan to choose a posthumous name while alive.

Day Three: Funeral

Coffin

Before the funeral, the deceased is placed in the coffin of the hitsugi. A piece of cotton fabric is placed at the bottom of the coffin. The absence of objects made of metal and glass is also checked, as they can melt or explode during cremation.

Noshibukuro for funeral

Friends and acquaintances of the deceased who gathered for the funeral offer condolences and hand over money in special envelopes. The amount varies depending on the wealth and proximity to the deceased and can range from $50 to $1,000. Money in envelopes is stacked on a separate special table. Telegrams of condolences are read out. Speech is given in memory of the deceased.

Cremation (Kasou)

Urns for ashes

Although there is a small Christian community in Japan, 99% of bodies are cremated. After the last farewells, the body is covered with a golden cape or covered with a coffin lid. In some parts of Japan, there is a tradition of nailing the coffin with stones. Each of the family members of the deceased hammers in a nail. If the nail can be hammered in with one or two blows, this is a guarantee of good luck in the future. The coffin with the body is sent to the crematorium oven for reading the sutras. Full cremation of the body of a large adult takes about an hour and a half, a child, about half an hour. Gathered relatives and friends await the end of the cremation in the adjacent hall, where they are served tea. Usually they remember funny and interesting stories from the life of the deceased.

Transferring the remains to the urn

At the end of the cremation, the family members of the deceased return to the crematorium hall and receive the remains on a special pan. After that, the bones preserved after cremation are removed from the ashes with special sticks. Relatives line up in order of seniority (from the oldest to the youngest), passing each other with chopsticks, put them in a urn in a chain. In this case, great importance is attached to the sequence, the bones are shifted from the bones of the legs to the bones of the head so that the body in the urn is not screwed. Dropping a bone of a relative is considered a very bad omen. This is the only ceremony in Japan where it is permissible to pass something to each other with chopsticks. After all the bones are moved into the urn, the remaining ashes are poured there. In most other countries, in order not to embarrass the relatives with the appearance of burnt bones, they are ground in a special industrial mixer.

Grave (Haka)

grave

It consists of a stone monument with a vase for flowers and a compartment for an urn with ashes (at the back of the monument). It is normal practice to separate the ashes for burial in several graves, such as family and corporate, or in the event of the death of a wife, the ashes may be divided between the graves of the husband's family and the woman's parents. This is done if families live far from each other and the separation of the ashes will make it easier to visit the graves in the future. Since the graves are often family, the largest text indicates not the name of the deceased, but the name of the family and the date of its construction. The names of the people buried in this place are indicated in smaller print on the front surface of the monument.

In the past, it was a popular practice to make a single gravestone including the names of all living relatives in the family. The names of those who have not died yet are tinted with red paint. Now such gravestones can still be found, but less and less. People get married, get married, move abroad, radically change their lives and graves become unnecessary or irrelevant. In addition, many Japanese today consider this a bad sign. Also, you will never find photographs on Japanese graves, the practice of installing photographs on monuments is pretty surprising for Japanese visiting Russian cemeteries.

Columbarium

The extremely high cost of the graves led to the emergence of multi-storey columbariums, the so-called Ohaka no manshon (grave houses). These are essentially spacious rooms divided into compact lockers (very similar to the beautifully decorated lockers in the gym).

Grave looting

Despite the absence of valuables in Japanese monuments as such, the ashes of people themselves became the object of theft more than once. So the remains of the famous Japanese writer Yukio Mishima were stolen in 1971. A similar incident occurred with the ashes of another writer Naoya Shiga in 1980. More recently, in 2002, there was an episode when the ashes of the wife of the famous baseball player Sadaharu Oh were stolen and the kidnappers demanded a ransom for his return.

Rituals after the funeral

Wake takes place on the seventh day after death. They involve the family of the deceased, other relatives and everyone who was close to the deceased. During the service, the priest reads the sutras aloud. The service is repeated on the fourteenth, twenty-first, twenty-eighth and thirty-fifth days. This kind of service only takes place in the family circle. 49 days after death, repeated commemorations take place, it is believed that on this day the soul of the deceased leaves our world. The expression of condolences ends on the 49th day, and a large Buddhist memorial ceremony is performed, in which family, close relatives and friends participate. On this day, it is customary to place an urn with ashes in the grave. Due to the presence of unburnt bones, ashes are rarely scattered in Japan.

Mourning (Fuku mou)

Mourning lasts for a year, during which time family members of the deceased refrain from entertainment, do not attend movies and concerts, do not go to the temple, and do not send out nengajo New Year's cards. Instead of postcards, notices are sent with apologies that postcards will not be sent out, if you receive such a notice, you need to save it (more on that below). Also, women cannot get married during the period of mourning, in the past this rule was introduced to avoid doubts about the paternity of children and somehow took root and strengthened in the laws.

Death Anniversary Memorial Services (Nenki Hoyou)

Memorial services are held on the first, second, sixth, twelfth, sixteenth, twenty-second, twenty-sixth, and thirty-second death anniversaries. In some cases, the commemoration is also celebrated on the forty-ninth anniversary. If in one year more than two services must be served for one family, they are united. It is assumed that on the last anniversary the soul of the deceased loses its individuality and dissolves in the afterlife, so there are no commemorations in the future.

Feast of the Dead (Obon)

Obon holiday

According to the beliefs of the Japanese, during this holiday the souls of the dead return to their homes. Usually Obon takes place on August 13-16. These days, the Japanese visit their home and visit the graves of relatives and friends, even if they have been living separately from their parents for many years. On the eve of the holiday, the Japanese tidy up family altars and graves. Vegetables, fruits and other favorite dishes of the deceased and other ancestors are being prepared. On the evening of the first day of the holiday, small paper lanterns are lit in front of the gates or the entrance to the house, welcoming the return of the departed soul. The lights are lit again on the last day to hasten the return of the soul to their new world. In some prefectures, lanterns are allowed to float down the river on the last day of Obon. In Hiroshima Perefetura, on the last day of Oobon, the rivers turn into flames from the fire of hundreds of thousands of floating lanterns. Airfare prices skyrocket during the Obon period, so keep that in mind if you're planning to visit Japan in August.

Japanese funerals and foreigners

Funerals are mostly a family matter and foreigners rarely take part in this sad event, usually this happens if one of the relatives in a mixed marriage dies. Occasionally, a foreigner may be invited to say goodbye to a friend or colleague.

If you most likely fail to attend a Japanese funeral, you can make other mistakes in everyday life that are indirectly related to the funeral. For example, when giving gift money. All money in Japan is given in special noshibukuro envelopes, which come in different types: for gifts for birthdays, weddings, etc., including funerals. The funeral envelope is beautiful, white with silver and black ribbons. In order not to be mistaken, look for a red rhombus in the upper right corner of the envelope, such envelopes are given only for festivities, but its absence will indicate an envelope for presenting money for a funeral. Initially, dried squid was a rare and expensive treat in Japan, and a strip of squid was included with the festive envelope. A real dried squid on a gift envelope can be found in our time.

If you decide to send nengajo New Year's cards, pay attention to whether anyone in your circle sent a notice of the death of someone in the family. Even if it is some distant relative of your friend that you have never heard of before, you cannot send nengajo, it will look like you are mocking someone else's grief while wishing a happy new year, during the period of mourning.

You should not give a Japanese woman you like, white chrysanthemums are traditional flowers at a funeral. However, in Russia, the chrysanthemum is also associated by many as a grave flower.

Cemeteries for foreigners

In the past, it was forbidden to bury foreigners in Japanese cemeteries, (they did not particularly strive because of the Christian faith) there was a separate burial place for them. Some exist to this day, for example, one of the most famous in Yokohama (Boris Akunin wrote about it in his collection “Cemetery Stories”), one of the few Orthodox Christian cemeteries is located on the outskirts of the city of Hakodate. There are cemeteries and other concessions, but they are very few, as the Japanese Muslim community is very concerned about the insufficient number of cemeteries where Muslim burials are available (i.e. without cremation), similar problems are experienced by Jews living in Japan.

A film about Japanese funeral rites

Departed

If you are interested in the topic of Japanese ritual ceremonies, I recommend watching the film Okuribito (Departed). In addition to the actual theme of the funeral, the film raises the problem of the low social status of employees of funeral agencies in Japanese society, whose work is considered dirty. The film is available in the Russian box office on DVD, and at one time won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.

Many thanks for the text and all possible help in difficult times to the author