Test how to make the right decision. The right choice - all ingenious is simple

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think of this decision 10 months later?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change the angle of your vision: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

How to make the right decision

What you need to know before you make a decision, what questions to ask and how to guide your decision

Most people are afraid, do not know or do not know how (do not understand) how to approach and make a decision.

And if we divide the decision-making into stages (steps). What steps are important to make the most correct, final decision?

I will talk about these steps below, but first, what to pay attention to when making decisions.

It often happens that before making a decision, a person does not really know what he wants or which option he should choose.

And here it is important that you do not just analyze, but put aside logic for a while and immerse yourself in attention, feel whether it is really pleasant for you, whether it will be a pleasure for you to do this business for a long time. And we do not focus here only on the result, money and profit. Just listen to your inner voice, sometimes a hint may not come right away, and here it’s better not to put pressure on yourself, but to bear the answer, trust your intuition.

You can also ask yourself a couple of questions: "What does my mind tell me?" and answer out loud quickly, without thinking, and then ask: "What does my intuition (my soul) tell me?", and look very carefully at your very first thoughts that come to mind, most often they are the most correct. Observe for yourself what feelings they evoke in you, whether there is something in them that inspires you.

I consider this the main advice and in most cases, this is all that is needed to make the right decision.

Do you know what a famous and successful person said about this:

Feel free to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you really want to become.

Steve Jobs

And it often happens that the situations themselves do not tolerate reasoning from us, you just need to do something and that's it. For example, if you are single, an opportunity has presented itself and you feel that you sincerely want to get to know each other, then you should not go into all these - "What will happen if ...", listen to your heart and just follow it - take some action with the answer to all doubts - "but come what may."

5 questions in decision making

Very often we doubt whether I really need it, why. And especially if the decision affects the global and long-term perspective. Here I still recommend listening more to the inner voice, but you can ask yourself 5 leading questions.

First question- "Do I want it X do I want to do this, do I want to have this, do I want to be somebody?"Honestly Answering Ourselves" YES" or " NO".

When you have identified and answered yourself: "YES", I want to do exactly this, move on to the next question, - " If I do this, if I become someone and achieve this, will I be in harmony with myself, with the Universe, or for those who believe, in harmony with God?"

If you answered "YES" to yourself, then ask yourself the following question "If I do this, if I become someone, then bring closer whether it me to my goal, my dream ?"

If your answer is "YES", then ask yourself another question - " If I do this, if I have this, if I become someone, will it violate human rights?"

If your answer is "NO", then go to the last question - " If I achieve my goal, will I do better for myself and someone else? This question is perhaps the easiest to answer.

And having answered your questions, having decided, you need to take action. Right now, at this moment start taking action to change something in your life. To become successful, independent and finally achieve what you so desire. Don't procrastinate by telling yourself- "That's it, yes, I've decided that tomorrow I'll start acting", or "I'll think again and then I will finally decide whether I need it or not"- Believe me, friends, it is unlikely that you will decide and start something.

And if you try later, as a rule, this is just another attempt and no more. Do straightaway even the smallest step is important your first step important START.

For example, such a first step is the need to collect useful information, find out what and how. The more details you know, the easier it is to make decisions and move faster and more confidently.

Just worry and don't move

Do not delay making final decisions if you already feel that this is yours, you crave change and you need it, and do not worry too much now about how you will be and when, what will come - these are not the questions now, gradually everything will come itself. Your main goal now is to make a decision.

If you delay making a decision, it means that you have already made a decision - to leave everything as it is.

Remember that Doubts will still remain and you should not get rid of them in every possible way. It’s normal to experience, because no one can predict success and know exactly how everything will go, you can only, to a greater or lesser extent, believe depending on experience and conditions.

And once you make the final decision and start taking the first steps
, all these "HOW" - they will come to you. You will find or meet the right people, and the right situations will begin to arise around you. You will begin to attract them to you, this is some kind of amazing phenomenon, but I convinced myself that it works, like a relationship with the universe.

By the way, think carefully and remember when you started to think about something and do something, no matter what, suddenly, right away or after some time, something started to happen like this - you met the right people or you found yourself in that place and at that time, or the necessary information came across.

So, main - make a decision.

Don't base yourself on decision making From what you have today, think what you want, strive for it, and make your decision on that. The fear of failure is always stronger than the possibility of change, it is much more terrible for us to lose something than the desire to try to gain something, but if you are guided only, you will not go far.

And all other questions, such as - "Can I do this?", "Am I doing it right?" "And if it doesn't work out?" - All these questions are not questions of a person who wants more from life. They should be given attention only for a quick assessment of the reality of what is being implemented, in order to correct the course and no more.

Almost every one of you has been in a situation where, having made some decision and started doing something, after a while, maybe quickly, maybe later, you understand - it should have been different.

If you do not accept for yourself that there is not and will not be an absolutely right decision, if you are afraid and based on the fear of mistakes, you will never achieve what you dream of. The point is that You either do it or you don't and there's no other choice.. Except as an even worse option, it is being all the time in a waiting state only to think and dream about something, to wait 100% opportunity in the hope that this will come, do nothing, and all the time be in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself and your life.

"Any course of action has its own price and risk. But they are much less than the price and risk of comfortable doing nothing"

John F. Kennedy

What stops you from making better decisions?

We are at different times in different states depending on some external or internal factors, and as a result, no matter how smart you are, our consciousness perceives the situation differently. And when making some decision, you failed to make the right choice because that at that time were not in that condition, you may have been depressed, anxious and overworked, and you simply did not have enough potential.

In another case, when you almost immediately understand what led to the wrong decision, and not because you made a conscious wrong decision, not because " consciousness is not enough", but because it was not possible to restrain oneself, to control oneself by discarding emotions (most often this happens, and this is the saddest thing).

Very often we are blinded by emotions that make us miss important nuances in making a particular choice and which later may turn out to be decisive. Therefore, always before making an important decision, calm down, for this it is best to observe the breath for 5-8 slow, calm breaths and exhalations, and if you are too excited then postpone the decision for a while, let your brain calm down and clear up.

How to be guided in decisions (choice of actions)

Make decisions based on the principles

When making decisions, always remember and be guided by your main principles and sincere desires. For example, if you want to start a business, then you need to consider that it will not be an easy walk, but hard work. Are you ready to sacrifice your comfort, personal time and family time? And what is it all for?

Maybe you will understand that just the same family, comfort and peace, this is what you are striving for, and earning a lot of money can take a lot of this away from you. Some people, starting to chase money, forget about their main values, for the sake of which they began to do it at all.

If you still feel that this business or something else is necessary for you, then go ahead and be bolder.

Focus on the essentials

When you have already decided everything, started to act and determine the direction every day, decide what to do now, always be guided by priority main action, ask yourself - "What is the best right now, at this moment, I can do in order to get closer to my goal?"

And taking concrete action - without delay, you try to do it.. Just don't over tighten.

How to make a decision. Motivation

And for my support, motivation, I highly recommend keeping a diary, this is really important.

How do we make a diary? In a new notebook we write, first questions, then we answer - " Why do I need it?", "What will it give me?", " How confident will I become?", "How will I feel about it?", "How will I live with this??", "What opportunities will this give me?". Describe everything vividly, in colorful images, presenting as if you have already achieved success and are now experiencing these sensations.

And every day you should start by reading the diary, with this most powerful motivation. You perform actions already in a different mood, and with each subsequent day this mood will become better.

In what you write, in 95% of cases you will not believe. Why is that? Because it's all about the (settings) that we have inside, in our subconscious. And if we do not change these attitudes, we are doomed to failure. In order to reprogram, change these programs, you will write this diary. When you put your thoughts on paper, the brain perceives everything differently than when it happens in the head.

But the best thing is if you still, at the same time, find a like-minded person who will share your vision, your goals. And sharing with him your thoughts, or even read them aloud. Everything will begin to boil inside you, you will, as it were, be divided in two. One part will say-" You can not ", other " You will succeed ". And most importantly, with such repetition and discipline you program your subconscious, change your unsuccessful installations.

There are other ways of programming, but this is in other articles. Why others? It's simple - one of us perceives everything visually, then audio information, or you need both together. All this can be easily felt if you just listen to yourself. In the meantime, I recommend learning a little more about with it, it can dramatically change your life as a whole.

And one moment, each person in the process of the journey has such days when everything falls out of hand, there is no mood, well-being, to put it mildly, is not working and you need to continue doing something, but things are not going at all. Write on a card that you will always carry with you your most cherished goal. And when you need to act, but there is no mood, take out your card and ask yourself, "Why and why do you need all this?" And honestly answer this question for yourself. Your response will spur you to action and only action will lead you to your goal.

Finally, how to decide:

And always remember, each of us is a unique person, with his own weaknesses, but also his own strengths. And each of us has the right to be who we want!

Good luck in making the right decisions and energy for action! !

Best regards Andrey Russkikh

Check it out for sure! How to fulfill a dream

Making decisions isn't easy. When you are at a crossroads, alternative options get in the way of your choice. If you follow the mind, the right decision can be made in a matter of minutes. After reading the article to the end, you will learn about an unusual technique that helps thousands of businessmen and people of different professions and provides clear methods that will help you understand how to make the right decisions in life.

Every moment of our life depends on the decisions that we are forced to make in a given situation. Making the right decisions is important, especially in those moments when you need to give new impetus, direction and meaning to your life. It doesn't matter what it is - work or personal life, career development or domestic issues. These decisions change our lives, careers, or relationships. Rotate everything 360 degrees. Even when we don't choose, we actually make decisions. More-less.

On the one hand, modern society has widely spread the opinion that a person is the creator of his own future, on the other hand, the selection process is associated with throwing, headaches and thoughts about responsibility with possible consequences. Sometimes it is very difficult to make the right choice. You can easily be overwhelmed by millions of doubts that slow down the decision-making process. And internal conflicts that come from outside prevent the mind from seeing the right path. For this reason, people are shackled by fear - because of possible failures and wrong choices.

Those who want to immediately take their lives into their own hands, command it, should take note of several methods that will help make decisions in life.

The first step is to get in touch with your "I". Here it is important to "disconnect" from various influences and influences from the outside world - stop listening to the advice and recommendations of other people.

The heart will show you the right way. Rationalizing people, of course, will struggle in moments of important decisions. Because most often they prefer to listen to the brain, analyze the advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately, this leads to a loss of emotional momentum that can revive any choice. Choosing based on a rational approach is useful when it is necessary to minimize risks.

Therefore, it is important to listen to the inner voice, this makes it possible to make the right decisions. As a rule, financially secure and wealthy people have always faced difficult situations and choices. But they had the courage and bravery, making important decisions, going against everyone, but with a smile on their faces and listening to their hearts.

2. Listen to your intuition

In addition to the heart, there is a part of your own personality called intuition.
It gives us an infinite number of ideas and information that can be used in further thinking. For example, you noticed when you meet a stranger, you suddenly seem to have an insight and a spontaneous decision. It is important not to miss this moment here. After all, it is possible, this is the sign that indicates that you are on the right path.

Even when you don't choose, you still make a choice.

"Delaying a decision is a decision in itself."

Frank Barron

Many tend to believe that not making a decision is a choice. But in fact, when making decisions and making choices, you understand that you are alive, only you are the masters of your destiny. Therefore, it is important to take responsibility, overcome insecurities and fears and make some kind of decision.

Even in the case when you have a fear of making the wrong choice, in any case it is preferable to make it. It is only your own accumulated experience that will help you make the right decisions in the future.

3. Proper goal setting

In order to focus on your goal and make the right decisions, you need to draw up and develop a plan in advance to achieve it. A great option and exercise to achieve your goals is SMART technology. So thoughts will be more organized, and you will be able to make the right decision. Try to be more specific and describe everything as clearly as possible. Thus, a clear goal setting, a structured plan will help you quickly make a decision that is life-changing.

4. Make a list of priorities

Before turning to others for help, it is helpful to try to develop a list and choices in a hierarchy. For example, primary needs - to earn more and less significant - the proximity of the place of work. All this is important when you make a decision to quit a job or change it to another one.

To make the right decision, it is important to determine what things are preventing you from being happy and, secondly, to implement the right strategies to remove barriers. And if the ultimate goal is the elimination of these external factors that prevent us from living peacefully, then it is necessary to change the way we think and act.

5. Analyze the pros and cons

As the wise say: follow your heart. However, the aspects of rational choice should never be forgotten. It is necessary to correctly assess the possible consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to paint all the “pros” - “what you will get if you make this or that choice” and all the “against”. Many find this exercise very helpful in finding the right solution. This way you will quickly realize what obstacles and difficulties outweigh any advantages of choice and you will be able to make the right decisions.

7. Avoid haste in making decisions

Following your heart and intuition does not mean making hasty decisions based on momentary emotions. As a rule, such decisions are not dictated by reason, but by despair, disappointment, anger or excitement. It is important to make decisions in moments of calm, when the mind is able to reason calmly and intelligibly.

It is also important at such moments to distinguish between what really deserves your thoughts and what just clouds your thoughts.

It is good to listen to someone else's opinion, but in any case, the final decision must be made in complete autonomy, a clear mind and consciousness. Whatever choice you make, it is always worth remembering that they do not determine the entire course of life.

9. Technique "compass"

The compass technique will help with this. This technique is usually taught in business and management courses. This technique will help to weigh all your decisions, to look at them differently, outside the box.

In fact, the "compass" method is much simpler than it might seem. In order to make a decision, you must:

• Write five simple questions on paper.
• Choose one of the six possible alternative actions.

To begin with, you need to ask five questions to make the right decision.

Every time you have to make an important decision, take a piece of paper, a notebook, a digital or personal diary. On a blank page, write the following questions.

1. Where are you from? It does not matter your place of residence, registration and place of residence! Write on a white sheet: What are you doing today? Who are you at the moment? Where are you now. If you are at a crossroads in life, write down some decisions and possible events that could change your life.
2. What is really important to you? Write in a notebook four things that will never make you give up. What were the key moments, turning points in your life. What helped you in life and because of what your life will never be the same again.
3. What motivates you to act and move forward? What motivates you to make specific decisions?
4. Who are the people who are important to you? Who is able to influence the adoption of vital decisions? Who do you trust? Who makes you go on feats and act, create, work?
5. What's stopping you? What scares you about the decision to make? What obstacles, situations or people interfere and keep you on the way to the intended goal?

Have you finished answering the questions? All painted? Now let's move on to the next item - the description of the concept map. To do this, we will need to highlight the keywords that characterize all of your answers.

The next step is to estimate the number of options for action. To structure notes, you can use either a regular notepad or the MindNode program or the MindMeister application.
So, we write down six alternative courses of action, the proposed compass decision-making models. The answers to all these questions will help bring clarity and make a well-thought-out decision.

• A solution that captivates and inspires you. Which decision has the biggest impact on you? Suppose, in the past, the most important thing for you was new people, the experience gained. This is probably the right path for you today as well. Meeting new people, expanding new connections, networking, partnerships and finding like-minded people.
• rational path. What do people you trust offer you? Are they more experienced and wiser?
• The path of the dreamer It's all about life that fascinates you. This path is not the easiest. It may be in line with your values, aspirations and beliefs, but you need to consider that you must be motivated, and your strong beliefs will help you achieve your goals.
• A solution that may be the least common. If your days are boring, they choke you, and your days feel like Groundhog Day, then you might want to take a non-traditional decision path.
• The most common solution. If you are a conservative person, the main thing for you is customs and habits, then this option is the best for you. For example, you are with someone, for example, in a relationship (whether personal, business, partnership), you understand that you must make a choice: continue them or go on a new adventure. Therefore, it is important here to evaluate our values ​​​​and the people we love. If they do not intersect in any way, then perhaps it is time to disperse. This happens when it is necessary to compromise, to make a choice in favor of what is really important to us, when we act out of fear of not living up to the expectations of the person we respect.
• Return trip. It's kind of a step back and a redesign of your goals. You just need to settle scores with the past, and then a new previously unexplored road will open. For example, you decide the issue: to close a project that does not give the expected results. In this case, we are faced with a dilemma? On the one hand - how to quit, if for one or two years we have been living and breathing what we love. On the other hand, if the project does not bring results, we are forced to invest time and other resources. Therefore, when there is not enough motivation to continue the project, one should carefully evaluate the return paths, that is, think about closing the ongoing project.

The "compass" technique helps to make one or more options for the right decision.

10. Method "Square of Descartes"

The Descartes Square technique will allow you to look at the issue comprehensively and help you make a decision without focusing on one factor.

In order to make decisions on this method, it is necessary to ask four questions that can be entered into a matrix for ease of perception. Questions:

1. What happens if the event occurs? (positive sides)
2. What happens if the event doesn't happen? (positive sides)
3. What will not happen if the event occurs? (negative sides)
4. What won't happen if the event doesn't happen? (negative sides, which we will not get)

By answering these questions, it will be easier to weigh the pros and cons and make the right decision at important moments.

11. Method "Glass of water"

This method was developed by José Silva. This researcher has written many books and studied the possibilities of mind control and destiny, various methods of visualization and predictions.

The Glass of Water method is based on the idea that water "records" information. Recent scientific research confirms this. And since humans are made up mostly of water, perhaps water can help answer some questions. So let's look at the method.

Before going to bed, you need to pour into a glass of clean water. Then take a glass of water in your hands, close your eyes, concentrate and ask a question that requires a decision. Then drink half a glass of water in small sips, saying "That's all it takes to make the right decision." Then open your eyes, put a glass in which water remains near the bed and fall asleep. After waking up, you need to drink water and thank you for finding the right solution. The answer will come either immediately or unexpectedly during the day.

So, we have analyzed with examples the ways and methods that can be used when making important decisions.

When making an important decision, always consider one important thing: never forget who you are and what you want from life. Choose, taking into account your values ​​and goals, do not let indecision and fear deprive you of something important in life! And always remember: there are no wrong decisions, you can always find a way to fix it! Now you are just one step away from making the right decision, which can be a turning point in your life, so don't be afraid to make decisions!

Throughout their lives, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to choose throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy home, what series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such minor everyday issues can put a person in front of a choice, the result of which may depend on mood or even fate.

Big and small problems

If you understand it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choices. Well, if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color tie goes best with a shirt ... Such trifles usually do not leave a trace in the memory. Another thing is when a person's future life is decided from a choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether it is worth connecting fate with a person you like or investing in a business. In these cases, the issue price is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person runs the risk of being left without lunch, then here the retribution for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.

For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and his ability to resolve the situation.

Why is it important to make a quick decision?

Every person wants something more in this life: build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is lost in front of a choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go to the designated goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is arranged in such a way that not "big eats small", but "agile eats slow". Speed ​​is everything. A small, but actively developing firm can suddenly absorb a clumsy giant.

In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help overcome doubts and make the right decision.

Time to choose

If you have time to think about each question, then you should consider each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find the best option. You can even write down different situations and their possible solutions on paper. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think everything over.

In fact, choice is a unique property of a person that nature has given him. With it, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make a choice himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means that he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps to make the right decision and how to take an important step?

Fear of failure

When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failures, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, this is the moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before you quickly make the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.

In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will tell about it in different ways.

The world through the prism of beliefs

We see our world through the lens of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is needed. Based on this, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one should not give up, one should not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the situation. “I can't do anything. I am a small person. I have nothing but work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent me from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in myself, depriving me of a choice. Due to such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.

Is there a choice?

Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But how it will be, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened like that”, “I couldn’t restrain myself”. In other words, a person himself does not understand how he did this or that action, and as a result he cannot realize the consequences.

In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform competent actions in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and precise understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis of an effective choice.

Right Criteria

The main question today, which many people ask themselves: "How to get out of this or that situation?" Experts are sure that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria, which we determine for ourselves.

For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, swarthy, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to the established criteria, but how to understand if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.

The main criteria for the right choice

For the right choice, the task should be filled with many sub-items: what kind of relationship do you want, what kind of chosen one should be in character. And this goal must be carried in your heart and understand that it is you who are worthy of it. By no means can there be any doubt. You need to believe that a worthy person will definitely meet on your way. It is important to look at inner qualities: will it be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and peace, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.

Trapped

Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require balanced decisions, which you need to be prepared for. And it depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any impasse requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. No need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But as they say, you learn from your mistakes. And that is the kind of experience that wisdom brings.

Choice without draw

How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs all the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing arguments in the form of a table. But what if the result is a proportion of 50x50? How to find the right solution to the problem without resorting to the services of lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:

When making a choice, you should look a few steps ahead: what results this or that result will lead to. The only right decision should come consciously, after carefully weighing all the possible consequences.

Desperate situations

Surely each of us faced unforeseen situations that required an immediate decision: someone managed to accept them, and someone did not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and missteps, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave because of fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so that later you do not pay the price for unawareness and ignorance.

How to make the right decision

There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, before making the right decision, it is necessary to remain calm. After all, it depends on how the problem is solved. Collect your thoughts, look into the subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of this situation. And what solution comes to mind first, this is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, because being in an unbalanced state, you can make rash choices.

So what helps you make the right decision? These are life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconsciousness, situation analysis and logical thinking.

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• What will you think of this decision 10 months later?
• What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change the angle of your vision: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.