Correct life attitudes. How to start changing your life with the right attitudes

Do life attitudes help or hinder life?

“What is behind us and what is in front of us are negligible compared to what is inside us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Hello dear reader! This article is about our beliefs, attitudes and their enormous impact on our lives. Also, I will offer one simple exercise that will help You to analyze them.

Life attitudes are ideas about the outside world and about the processes in it, about oneself and about one's relations with this world. We receive them in childhood from significant people and accept them later as truth, without criticism and analysis. When we grow up, most often we take them for our own, and confirm this with our life experience.

What do we believe? Let's say that I believe that I am smart and capable enough, that I am surrounded by kind and helpful people, that the world is full of opportunities and everyone is given the same chance. In this case, I form some kind of reality. Or I regret that I was born a woman and men are more likely to be realized. And in general, everything else is for others, but I have to work hard. Another deceivers around - always an eye and an eye is needed. What will be my reality in this case and, accordingly, my life??

We go through life, carrying our "" and, as they say, shaping the reality around us. They largely determine how we make our decisions, how we act, and what we expect from life.

Having understood our attitudes, we can understand the reasons for the events happening to us and make decisions more consciously. Of course, not everything is so simple and it is really possible to understand this only in a dialogue with a psychologist, but it is quite possible to start this process yourself 🙂

We are what we think.

Buddha.

Exercise "Working with settings"

Answer these questions in writing:

1. Remember what your parents told you about your appearance in childhood? What did you think of yourself as a teenager?

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2. What did your parents say about you as a person? How were you evaluated? What were those words? “Clever, you are our lucky one, well done, I’m proud of you” or “stupid, slob, inattentive, lazy”

3. Remember your family's favorite proverb, slogan, motto. What did your parents say about life, about work?

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4. Remember what your parents said about the opposite sex? What did your mother or grandmother say about men? Father or grandfather about women?

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Now look at your notes - this is your life program, the “life settings” that you inherited from your parents. If most of what you've written is positive, great! If not, don't fret. You can use this material for further work with a psychologist and self-comprehension.

And now let's analyze your life settings, what you wrote:

1.About appearance - your attitude to your own body.

If your parents didn’t really admire you and you often heard: “who do you look like”, “dressed up like a scarecrow”, “pull up your stomach”, “cow” “thin”, “well, it’s okay that your legs are thin and your eyes are small”, “Crooked nose” - a judgmental, critical assessment, or a condescending pejorative - then you treat yourself in the same way now and will never be satisfied with your body, looking for flaws in yourself or embarrassed of your body. The only way out is to accept yourself as you are. Remember, if you do not love your body, it will answer you the same - diseases. It is just as sad if your parents valued only your appearance in you and you often felt like a doll at an exhibition. You will do the same with yourself, as an adult, keeping yourself in a constant tone and tormenting yourself with various diets, considering your body as a tool to achieve a goal (love, for example, they will not love me ugly). in this case, it will be aimed at self-acceptance and integration with the body.

2. About personality -this is your self-esteem, your success in society.

If your parents were proud and admired you, gave you unconditional love and support, then you value and respect yourself, there will be no obstacles for you in achieving your goals. You will be able to use your mistakes to grow and be proud of your achievements. If only your mistakes were the focus of close attention and criticism, and successes were taken for granted, then you will be afraid to take any action. The evaluation of other people will be very meaningful to you.

You constantly underestimate and criticize yourself, suffer from a lack of warmth and support.

3. life credo is your attitude towards life.

Agree, there is a difference in going through life with the conviction that "life is hard work" or the conviction that "life is beautiful."

4. Relation to the oppositeth floor– your choice of partner, your family relationships.

We absorbed these attitudes from the phrases of the parents, from their attitude towards each other. If your mother was convinced that your father ruined her life, then most likely you will find the same man and prove to your mother that she is not alone. And if a father could build a relationship with his wife only in a "cocktail" with vodka, then most likely the son will inherit this pattern of behavior.

In the overwhelming majority of cases, we repeat the life script of our parents in part or in whole. Going beyond is very difficult, but, as psychotherapeutic practice proves, it is possible. And this is the main thing - there is always a chance for those who are looking for it.

If you believe in something, then you don't need proof.

If you do not believe, none of them will be convincing for you.

Unknown.

If you think you can make it, you can make it.

If you think that nothing will work out for you, you are right.

Mary Kay Ash

Life installations, help to live or hinder. What do we believe?
June 10, 2018

1. Understand what you really like. This is the most important and the most difficult. The golden rule says - do what gives you real pleasure, and then you will become much happier. But one must be prepared for the fact that the search for one's path is a marathon that can last for many (dozens?) years.

2. Give up the garbage that you eat, drink and smoke every day. No secrets and cunning diets - just natural food, fruits, vegetables, water. You don't have to become a vegetarian and stop drinking completely - just limit sugar, flour, coffee, alcohol and all plastic food as much as possible.

3. Learn foreign languages. This will unrealistically expand the depth of perception of the world and open up unprecedented opportunities for learning, development and career growth. There are 60 million Russian-speaking Internet users. English speakers - a billion. The center of progress is now on the other side of the border, including the language one. Knowledge of English is no longer just a whim of intellectuals, but a vital necessity.

4. Read books. An approximate circle is your professional field, history, natural science, personal growth, sociology, psychology, biographies, high-quality fiction. No time to read because you drive - listen to audiobooks. The golden rule is to read/listen to at least one book a week. That's 50 books a year that will change your life.

5. Make the most of every weekend. Go to a museum, an exhibition, go in for sports, go out of town, skydive, visit relatives, go to a good movie. Expand your contact area with the world. When you have already traveled around and around everything, take your friends with you and tell them what you know. The main thing is not to sit still. The more impressions you let through yourself, the more interesting life will be, and the better you will understand things and phenomena.

6. Start Leading blog Or just a diary. No matter what. It does not matter that you do not have eloquence and you will have no more than 10 readers. The main thing is that on its pages you will be able to think and reason. And if you just regularly write about what you love, readers will definitely come.

7. Set goals. Fix them on paper, in Word or a blog. The main thing is that they be clear, understandable and measurable. If you set a goal, you can either achieve it or not. If you do not put, then there are no options for achieving at all.

8. Learn to touch-type on the keyboard - not being able to do this in the 21st century is the same as not being able to write with a pen in the 20th. Time is one of the few treasures you have, and you should be able to type almost as fast as you can think. And you should not think about where the desired letter is, but about what you write.

9. Ride time. Learn to manage your affairs so that they work almost without your participation. For starters, read Allen (Getting Things Done) or Gleb Arkhangelsky. Make decisions quickly, act immediately, do not postpone "for later." All things either do or delegate to someone. Try not to let the ball linger in your side. Write down on the sheet all the "long-playing" things that have not yet been done and prevent you from living. Rethink whether you need them (remembering point 1). Do what is left for a few days, and you will feel incredible lightness.

10. Give up computer games, aimless sitting on social networks and stupid surfing on the Internet. Minimize communication in social networks (up to optimization - leave only one account). Destroy the TV antenna in the apartment. In order not to be drawn to constantly checking e-mail, install an agent that will inform you of incoming messages (including mobile ones).

12. Learn to get up early. The paradox is that in the early hours you always have more time than in the evening. If you leave Moscow at 7 am on weekends in the summer, then by 10 am you will already be in Yaroslavl. If you leave at 10, you will be there in the best case for dinner. The same goes for weekend shopping. A person needs 7 hours of sleep, subject to high-quality physical activity and normal nutrition.

13. Try to surround yourself with decent, honest, open-minded, smart and successful people. We are our environment from which we learn everything we know. Spend more time with people you respect and learn from (it's especially important that your bosses fall into that category). Accordingly, try to minimize communication with people who are negative, dull, pessimistic and angry. In order to get taller, you have to strive upwards, and having people nearby that you want to grow up to will be a great incentive in itself.

14. Use every moment of time and every person to learn something new. If life brings you together with a professional in any field, try to understand what is the essence of his work, what are his motivations and goals. Learn to ask the right questions - even a taxi driver can be an invaluable source of information.

15. Start traveling. It does not matter that there is no money for Argentina and New Zealand - the quality of the rest has nothing to do with the money spent, and my best trips were to regions that are not at all distinguished by pathos and high cost. When you see how diverse the world is, you will stop obsessing over the small space around you and become more tolerant, calmer and wiser.

16. Buy a camera (maybe the simplest one) and try to capture the beauty of the world. When you succeed, you will remember your travels not only by vague impressions, but also by beautiful photographs that you brought with you. Alternatively, try drawing, singing, dancing, sculpting, designing. That is, do something that will make you look at the world with different eyes.

17. Go in for sports. It is not necessary to go to a fitness club where jocks, pick-up artists, Balzac ladies and freaks hang out. Yoga, rock climbing, biking, horizontal bars, parallel bars, football, running, plyometrics, swimming, functional training are the best friends of a person who wants to restore tone to the body and get a surge of endorphins. And forget about what an elevator is - if you have to walk less than 10 floors, use your legs. In just 3 months of methodical work on yourself, you can change the body almost beyond recognition.

18. Do unusual things. Go somewhere you've never been before, take a different route to work, sort out a problem you don't know anything about. Get out of your "comfort zone", expand your knowledge and horizons. Rearrange the furniture at home (and do it about once a year), change your appearance, hairstyle, image.

19. Invest. Ideally, every month it is worth investing part of your income, because a rich person is not someone who earns a lot, but someone who invests a lot. Try to invest in assets, minimize liabilities and control expenses. If you set yourself a financial goal and put your personal money in order, you will be surprised at how easily you will move towards achieving it.

20. Get rid of junk. Throw away any items you haven't worn or used in the last year (you won't be able to get to them next year either). Leave only what you really like and need. It's a pity to throw it away - distribute it. When buying a new item, get rid of the old similar one so that the balance is maintained. Less stuff means less dust and headaches.

21. Give more than you take. Share knowledge, experience and ideas. A person who not only takes, but also shares, is incredibly attractive. Surely you know something that others really want to learn.

22. Accept the world as it is. Give up value judgments, accept all phenomena as initially neutral. And even better - as unambiguously positive.

23. Forget about what happened in the past. It has nothing to do with your future. Take with you from there only experience, knowledge, good relations and positive impressions.

24. Don't be afraid. There are no insurmountable obstacles, and all doubts live only in your head. You don't have to be a warrior, you just need to see the goal, avoid obstacles and know that you will achieve it without a single chance to experience failure.

25. The last, it is the first. Do what you like. Learn. Learn. Develop. Change yourself from within.

The outer world is a reflection of our inner world. Every single thought, every action we take, every feeling determines who we become. And any desire that we keep in mind sooner or later finds expression in new opportunities that open up.

From all this it follows that with the help of daily affirmations you can program your brain, body and spirit for success.

Affirmation is the expression of your thoughts and desires with the help of words and repeating them several times a day.

1. I am great

Believing that you are great is one of the strongest inner beliefs. You may not think of yourself as a great person right now, but constantly repeating this affirmation will one day make you believe it. Science has long proven that talking to yourself leads to inevitable changes in the brain.

A vivid example of how this affirmation works is the legendary boxer. Watch his interview tapes and you will notice how often he used this phrase. Ultimately, he became great.

2. Today I am overwhelmed with energy and a positive attitude.

Positive originates within a person, and is not created by external factors and circumstances. And our mood is formed at the very moment when we wake up. So repeat this affirmation as soon as you wake up.

And remember: no one and nothing can spoil your mood until you yourself go for it.

3. I love myself for who I am.

It is believed that self-love is the purest and highest form of love. If a person does not like who he is, then this negatively affects all areas of his life. And this fact pulls a person down.

If you see that these lines are about you, and you cannot come to terms with some of your shortcomings, constantly blame yourself, then my advice to you is: repeat this affirmation as often as possible.

4. I have a healthy body, a brilliant mind, a calm spirit.

A healthy body begins with a healthy mind and spirit. If cats scratch at the soul, then this negativity will adversely affect both the mind and the body. That is, if one element of these three is damaged, the whole mechanism will no longer work properly.

The number one reason that determines whether a person is healthy or sick is the person himself. If you have convinced yourself that you are healthy in body, soul, mind, then it will be so. And if you believe that you are susceptible to illness, then it will definitely hook you.

5. I believe that I can do anything

This is exactly what you need to put into your head (and your children, grandchildren and loved ones) in any way. This is what a person should believe in, so that later he would not be ashamed of the mediocre years lived.

6. Everything that happens in my life is for the best.

The danger is not the circumstances themselves or the negative moments that take place in our lives, but our attitude towards them.

It is not given to man to know what the Universe has prepared for him in the future. Perhaps what seems dreadful today (such as layoffs) is preparation for something better.

We cannot see into the future, but we can control our attitude towards the present. And this affirmation will help you.

7. I build my own life

You are able to conquer any heights if you only plan your actions and success in advance. And yes, this is a planned action and rarely an accident.

Each new day brings us a new opportunity. And you can fill it with exactly what matters most to you. After all, you build your own life, and life does not happen to you, right?

Start your day with positive thoughts that you are in complete control of every aspect of your life, and soon you will see amazing things begin to happen to you.

8. I forgive those who hurt me in the past and peacefully move away from them.

It doesn't mean you forgot what they did, but it doesn't bother you anymore. Lessons learned and conclusions drawn.

Your ability to forgive is what allows you to move forward rather than dwelling on past wrongs. And your reaction to certain circumstances does not depend on the opinions of the people around you.

You are so strong that you can forgive a thousand people, even if none of them forgive you.

Repeat this affirmation whenever you hit.

9. I enjoy challenges and my potential to meet them is limitless.

You have no limits, only those that live within you.

What kind of life do you want? What is stopping you? What barriers have you built in front of you?

This affirmation will allow you to go beyond the usual boundaries.

10. Today I give up my old habits and embrace new ones.

Each of our individual thoughts, each of our actions determines who we become and what our life will be. Our thoughts and actions shape ours. We are what we constantly do.

As soon as we change habits, it will lead to changes in all areas of life. And this affirmation, which is recommended to be said at the beginning of the day, is designed to remind you that today is the time to change everything.

We all want to change for the better and change our lives. Many useful articles, books on development and even courses try to help us in this, but life rarely fits into book schemes, and blindly following the advice can lead to the opposite result. This is especially true for such common installations:

1. Your life will be the way you imagine it.

This is a favorite commandment of various coaches. “In order to achieve the goal, you need to clearly imagine it, fully imbued with it, you need to live and sleep with it in your head!”

Oh yeah! You closed your eyes and visualized your yacht and home in the Caribbean clearly. Drawn on a large poster and hung over the bed. And… nothing happens. Day turns into day, and the yacht remains in my head, and the house is in the photo. You quietly hate yourself and your miserable life.

This is because you believed in the myth that life should be the way you want it, instead of accepting it the way it is. There is nothing wrong with setting goals for the future and moving towards them. But your life is happening now. Find a way to enjoy it right now. You can't hate the present and put off happiness for the future.

2. We should be happy all the time.

From all sides we are taught to be happy. They are trying to convince us that happiness is a normal natural state of a person, and if you do not feel it, then something is clearly wrong with you, and something urgently needs to be done.

The reality is that happiness is a rather fleeting feeling, like any emotion. We can feel satisfaction, peace, but true happiness is a rather rare and quickly elusive thing. Moreover, for full enjoyment, it must be so - rare and precious. It's a great feeling, but don't be swayed by the newfangled theories that without 24/7 happiness your life becomes incomplete.

3. Life is a straight ascending line

This myth tells us that we must always progress. Forward and upward, not a step back or to the side. If in this workout you ran five kilometers, then in the next one you should run six. If this month you have earned a thousand, then next you need two. Meanwhile, this approach to life does not leave us a chance for error, illness or simple relaxation.

Try to replace the straight-line model of progress in your head with a spiral one. Very often, despite our best efforts, we make a circle and find ourselves almost in the same place where we started, but with new thoughts and experiences. Don't get mad at yourself for it, just start a new round.

4. Resistance is the best way to overcome a crisis

If you need to solve a problem, then, of course, you must gather all your strength and overcome the obstacle that has arisen. Quite natural and correct approach, isn't it?

But everything is not so simple. Sometimes confrontation only drains your energy and reduces your ability to solve problems effectively. There are situations when it is better to assess the situation, and not shove ahead in defiance of circumstances. It's like crossing a river: you can swim across it with almost no effort, or you can swim against the waves and heroically drown in the middle.

Confrontation is a very natural human reaction, but sometimes it is not the best solution. Learning to calmly accept the bad and the good in our lives is sometimes much wiser.

5. You will be happy when...

This is a very common internal mindset that explains why you are not enjoying life right now. You're just missing something very important. That bright moment will come, that's when we'll live!

"When I retire, my life will be much better." Do you think?

"My life will become calm and happy when I get more money." May be. How much more? Will you be able to calm down and stop, or will you stretch this “more” by an order of magnitude?

Don't put off your life for later. Have fun right now. And when this mythical “later” comes, you will get double pleasure 🙂

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