Every popular fairy tale embodies the archetypes of human behavior. Fairy tales, in which models of female-male relations are considered, are called magical. Using the example of your favorite fairy tale, you can better understand the expectations of a woman in relation to a man, her goal, the means by which she achieves her goal, and much more.

The client, let's call her O., is married. The husband earns well, has a high status, but he is almost never at home. O. refused social realization, she took over all household chores. She feels lonely and useless.

To analyze the model of her behavior, I suggested working with a fairy tale. The client's favorite fairy tale was the well-known "Cinderella". By the way, in my practice this is the most popular fairy tale. But how different are all Cinderellas. Perhaps the only thing that unites them is the need to work hard. I have never met lazy Cinderellas.

So, first, O. reads a fairy tale already written at home aloud. I listen carefully, paying attention to the change in voice, facial expressions, gestures. Sometimes this information is more important than the content of the tale itself.

There was a rich man who had a daughter. After the death of his wife, the man married another woman, who brought her two daughters into the house. And this woman became a stepmother for the man's daughter. The girl's name was Cinderella.

Cinderella helped her father with the household chores and household chores. And the older "sisters" just dressed up all day in front of the mirror. And they laughed at how Cinderella works. The stepmother disliked her daughter and gave her tasks for the whole day and night - to clean, sort, wash, sweep, sew, etc. The poor girl silently experienced all the insults and did not dare to complain even to her father, since he completely looked at everything through the eyes of his new wife. The girl, out of resentment, climbed behind the stove, where there were bags of ashes. The sisters called her Cinderella.

And once the king gave a huge ball. And he called everyone together with their wives and daughters. Cinderella and sisters also received an invitation. Preparations for the ball began, Cinderella sewed beautiful dresses for her sisters and did her hair. The stepmother and sisters left for the ball, and Cinderella burst into tears that she could not get there.

Her good fairy godmother decided to help the girl. They made a carriage out of a pumpkin. From mice - coachmen. From lizards - lackeys. From an old dress - a chic, beautiful dress. And the Fairy gave Cinderella glass shoes. And she said to come home before midnight, otherwise everything will turn back into place.

Cinderella came to the ball, but no one recognized her. The prince even ran out to meet her. "How beautiful she is" the guests whispered. Cinderella and the Prince danced the whole holiday. And then the clock strikes twelve times. Cinderella ran away very quickly, losing her shoe on the stairs. And the Prince did not even have time to ask her name and only picked up a glass slipper.

... The King issued a "decree" - whoever fits the shoe will be the Prince's wife. The prince and his retinue traveled a lot of courtyards, but the shoe did not fit anyone. The prince was upset. And then there was the last yard where Cinderella lived with her sisters. The sisters vying with each other began to try on a small, fragile shoe, but it didn’t fit any of them. The prince saw a little grimy girl who did not attract his attention. But since everyone had to try on the shoe, Cinderella had to put it on.

The shoe fit well. The sisters couldn't believe it. They were angry at Cinderella and realized that she was the beauty at the ball.

... The prince took her to the palace and a few days later they played a merry wedding.

Cinderella forgave her stepmother and sisters, as she was a very kind girl.

This is where the story ends and we move on to its analysis.

What did Cinderella miss at the beginning of the fairy tale?

- Father.

What events in the story evoked the most emotion?

- When Cinderella did everything for everyone, it's a shame.

- The fairy tale says about bags of ashes that were behind the stove. Why were they kept there?

- I do not know.

- Fantasize.

- Cinderella could retire there, no one approached the dirty bags of ashes.

What happened to Cinderella's mother, why did she die?

- Mom died of impotence, she was very worried about her relationship with her husband, she was alone all the time, all by herself, she did not feel needed. Mental illness, nervous breakdown, closed her eyes and died.

What did she want from her husband?

I wanted love from my husband.

What actions did she want from her husband? What is love for her?

- I wanted support in all difficulties, understanding that she was needed alone.

- So she needs difficulties so that her husband can support?

- Yes (with sadness). It is characterized by self-doubt, self-digging.

- She had doubts that her husband needed her alone.

- The husband devoted more time than his wife to work, made a fortune. His wife helped him with this.

What was her help?

- Arrangement of life, empathy for him. She didn't get the same in return.

- How did it happen that the father chose this woman as his wife - his stepmother.

- She married him to herself, attracted him with her fortune.

Define what a "man" is. In a fairy tale, you call your father - "a rich man."

- A man is the one who constantly plows, a hard worker.

- And who is the man?

“This is a nobler creature.

"And the prince?"

“The prince is a gentle, helpless creature, a man of fine nature.

What do princes and men have in common?

- State.

- The financial success of the husband was important for both the first and second wife, and for Cinderella it is also important, did I understand correctly?

- Yes it is. A carefree life in material terms is important.

Why did the Fairy reward Cinderella?

- Cinderella was kind, sympathetic.

What was her kindness?

- She took the grins and evil of her stepmother and her daughters for granted.

- Cinderella took grins and evil for granted, is this really a useful quality that should be rewarded?

- Of course not. It's terrible, swallowing tears mixed with resentment.

What could Cinderella have done differently?

- She could express her displeasure to her stepmother and her daughters, complain to her father (although he would hardly have listened to her complaints).

- Could she live separately, on her own?

— Yes, she could. Her father would even help her financially.

“You and I found out that sacrifice and patience are not qualities worth rewarding for. Then why did the Fairy reward Cinderella?

“I guess she gave Cinderella… a chance to cheer up, pushed her forward, but it didn’t help.

- What stopped her?

- The habit of being accommodating, a victim, her mother was the same.

“I want to remind you that three positions can be distinguished in the psychology of the victim, first depicted in the form of a drawing by psychiatrist and master of transactional analysis Stephen Karpman. He called this drawing the dramatic triangle.

The whole variety of roles can be reduced to three main ones - the Rescuer (S), the Persecutor (P) and the Victim (F).

The triangle in which these roles are combined symbolizes their connection, constant change. Communication within this triangle makes it possible not to take responsibility for one's actions and decisions, as well as to receive strong emotions and the right not to solve one's problems as a reward (since others are to blame for this). The text of the tale ends with the following words: "Cinderella forgave her stepmother and sisters, as she was a very kind girl." There is a shift in the roles of the heroine within the "dramatic triangle" from the victim to the rescuer. Salvation is also an addiction because Saviors need to feel valued. They are not allowed to take care of themselves and their needs, so they take care of others.

“No matter what role we play in the triangle at the moment, in the end, we always turn into a victim?” If we are in a triangle, are we living as victims?

- Yes. Every time we refuse to accept responsibility, we unconsciously choose to be the victim. What did Cinderella get at the end of the fairy tale?

- She married a prince.

- Remember, I asked you: "What was Cinderella missing at the beginning of the fairy tale?"

- Yes. I answered: "Father."

- It turns out that instead of a father, Cinderella met a prince. What did Cinderella like about the prince?

“His beauty, the beautiful words he spoke to her.

“But he didn’t even recognize Cinderella’s name. It turns out that he spoke beautiful words to her, not knowing her name. Maybe he didn’t care who to say beautiful words to, he just knew how to do it well?

- Yes it is.

“Earlier, you called the prince a 'helpless creature'. Why is Cinderella such a prince?

- The fact that he is helpless gives Cinderella a sense of her own need.

- What is the manifestation of the prince's helplessness?

- He is not able to serve himself, to iron, clean, cook on his own.

- But if Cinderella does all this, how will her life be different from life with her stepmother?

- (surprised) Nothing.

- Cinderella missed her father, at the end of the fairy tale she married the prince, that is, she found a symbolic father, but it turned out that nothing fundamentally changed in her life. She will also iron, clean, cook, as she did when she lived with her stepmother. She will behave like her mother, not feeling needed and dying of powerlessness and loneliness. What, then, is Cinderella's real purpose in life?

- To be needed for a man who is nearby.

How old was Cinderella when her mother died?

What happened in your life when you were 17?

— Nothing special, finished school.

At this time, I carefully examined the genogram, adding 17 years to the year of A.'s birth. She was born in 82. What important events took place in her family in 1999? Almost at the same time, we said: "Father died." Father O. tragically died under the wheels of a car, at that time he had already had another family for a long time. Mom O. broke up with her father when O. was 11 years old, unable to withstand his constant betrayals. Now it became clear why, at the beginning of the analysis, to my question: “What was Cinderella missing at the beginning of the fairy tale?”, She answered: "Father".

If you could change the story now, what would you change?

- After the death of her mother, Cinderella would begin to live on her own. I met a reliable, faithful man.

- Where can you find him?

among those who work.

- What would give Cinderella the feeling that her man needs her?

- His words of gratitude for the care, responsiveness to requests, the joint improvement of life and, in general, joint pastime.

O.’s attitude towards her husband changed later, and as a result of the analysis of the tale, the following points were realized:

1. O. copies mother's behavior model,
2. a serious trauma for her is the loss of her father (first his departure from the family, then death),
3. there is a desire to replace the father with a husband,
4. passive position (following the instructions of the stepmother and sisters, fairy, prince),
5. lack of contact with one's own desires (the desires of the heroine are not mentioned in the fairy tale),
6. being in a dramatic triangle, setting the victim - patience and humility - this is good,
7. the habit of solitude as a way to solve problems.

Do we know our favorite fairy tales? [Hidden meaning, encrypted by storytellers. We read between the lines, a fragment] Korovina Elena Anatolyevna

CINDERELLA, or the Ball of Life

Ball of life

Oh, MY SORROW,

OH SILENT MY FREEDOM

AND THE NON-LIFE SKY

ALWAYS LAUGHING CRYSTAL!

Osip Mandelstam

Cinderella is truly a favorite fairy tale of all times and peoples. And not just a fairy tale - a future life program called "How to Marry a Prince." True, in our national consciousness (according to the sociological question), the thesis with the amendment took shape: "Lying on the stove - to marry the prince." Well, if “lying on the stove” is a program for the male population, then “marrying a prince” is certainly for the female population. And it's funny - all over the world it is considered normal. But our sociologists screamed in unison: nightmare, horror! And what's wrong with that?! Probably, our analysts and interpreters still believe that a woman’s place is at the machine during the day, and in the kitchen in the evening, and it would be even better if she, like the front page of production, lays sleepers without rest. Well, the ideals of socialism - the very one that was "without a human face" - does not disappear from our public consciousness. And none of the "wise men" remembers that, in fact, Cinderella was far from being a flirtatious, but a hard worker.

Otherwise, where would such a number of options come from? There are stories about Cinderella all over the world. In different countries, plots are overgrown with their own details, details, names of heroes. By the way, such fairy tales with a single plot, but different details, are called wandering or migratory.

And did you know that…

Only in Europe there are more than five hundred versions of the fairy tale about Cinderella.

In India, Sri Lanka, in other countries of the East, her retellings also roam. Known, for example, the Chinese version, created in the IX century.

Cinderella tales have different titles. For example, in the Czech Republic and Slovakia there is a fairy tale "Three Nuts", in Spain - "Magic Dresses".

But in all folk tales, the heroine has a nickname that says that she works a lot around the house, especially at the hearth, and is always stained in ashes and ashes. She is -

Cinderella - in Russia,

Cendrillon- in France,

Popelyushka or Popelka - in Poland, Czech Republic, Ukraine,

Aschenputtel- in Germany,

Cinderell- in England.

Naive question:

And what was the girl's name, if Cinderella is just a nickname?

But nobody knows this. This is the main secret of our heroine. But if there is no specific name, then any woman (of almost any age) can identify herself with her, waiting for a handsome prince. That's how wisely invented by the people!

Attention!

There are also male versions of the tale, when the youngest of the brothers becomes “Cinderella” - a kind of “Cinderella”

As a rule, he is the unloved third son in the family, and older brothers do not take him with them when they go to woo the royal daughter. That is, this is a variant of the fairy tale about three brothers - two smart, and the third - a fool. Do you remember our Ivanov and Emel, who were wooing the tsar's daughter? However, the Western European "Cinderella" is closer not to them, but rather to Hans Chump Andersen. This third brother, rejected by the elders, himself finds a way to get into the palace and marry a beautiful princess. Usually he is named accordingly. For example, in Scandinavian fairy tales there is Espen and Espen Askeladden. The latter is translated as "digging in the ashes."

Of course, the most famous interpretation of Cinderella is Perrault's fairy tale. In the West, it is traditionally called "Cinderella, or the Little Crystal Slipper", in Russia - "Cinderella, or the Crystal Slipper". Perrault himself called her "Cinderella, or the Shoe trimmed with fur."

Stop! What fur?! It is known that the shoes were crystal. I wonder if you yourself have ever tried to wear such shoes-boots? Never? Then remember at least the crystal vases - those that flaunt on your most prominent shelf. Crystal is heavy, like any glass, it will cut your legs, and besides, it will crack or even break at the first step.

So where did the glass slipper come from?!

Do not know? And by mistake - it was formed from a typo in the book.

Here is how it was. In folk tales, the shoe is usually golden. However, in some folk tales, Cinderella generally loses not her shoe, but her tiny ring. But Perrault decided that the shoe would be more effective.

I must say that in his time no one was wearing fur on shoes, although earlier, in medieval France, the rich ordered just such shoes for themselves - for warmth and beauty. But at the court of Louis XIV, during whose time Perrault lived, they already wore completely different shoes - made of brocade, decorated with diamond buckles, and even with high heels. So, with his fur trim, Perrault could, firstly, attribute the action of a fairy tale to distant times. And secondly, to emphasize the uniqueness of fur slippers during the time of Louis XIV, which means to enhance their mysterious, enigmatic properties.

And so Perrault wrote in the title in French viar , that is, fur for trimming. But in the subsequent edition, the compositor mixed up the letters and a typo appeared. Viar turned into verre, what does glass mean. Well, the translators thought - the glass is somewhat rustic and wrote "crystal". And so the glass slipper went for a walk around the world. And everyone, without being surprised, perceived it as truly magical, made of an unusual "wonderful material."

There is another secret in Perrault's Cinderella - the appearance of a sorceress helping Cinderella. The fact is that in folk tales, the action begins with the fact that Cinderella's mother dies. And the father will soon marry another. And then poor Cinderella asks her dead mother to help her. In different cases, this happens in different ways. Sometimes, as in the Brothers Grimm or in Spanish fairy tales, dresses of unprecedented beauty grow on a tree growing on a mother's grave. Sometimes messengers appear from the mother (birds, squirrels, good spirits, etc.), bringing gifts to Cinderella (for example, three nuts, three flowers or leaves, in which outfits for the upcoming royal ball are hidden).

Perrault removed the image of the dead mother altogether. He wanted to write a festive “ballroom” fairy tale, and then all of a sudden there is talk of illness and even death ?! But someone had to help poor Cinderella? Thus, a fairy sorceress was born. Perrault made her the godmother of Cinderella, because in his time in France it was customary to take patrons of higher origin and position as godfathers and mothers. The servants tried to get the masters to be godparents for their children, the subordinates called the boss to the christening. Well, without the patronage of a "native little man" it is bad to live even in the magical, even in the real world. After all, the magical world is just a reflection of the real world.

Attention! Quiz

And who will be able to explain why the fairy created a carriage from a pumpkin?

Whoever answers correctly, he may well expect that life will be full of balls and other entertainment.

Well, any guesses? Really not? Then let's talk together.

First, remember that the pumpkin in Europe did not initially grow. It was brought to Europe by the Spanish conquistadors who returned from America. And it happened only in the XVI century. This means that by the time Perrault's fairy tales were written, in the 17th century, the pumpkin was not yet ubiquitous and seemed to the people to be some kind of overseas, mysterious guest, that is, a mysterious vegetable. That is, the fairy godmother used the magical properties of the pumpkin.

Secondly, the pumpkin was located on the beds very freely. For this, the peasants nicknamed her respectfully - Madam-Mother Pumpkin. In addition, the pumpkin was the largest vegetable. Isn't that what the carriage needs?

Look - in the twentieth century, the American Chris Stevens grew a giantess pumpkin weighing 821 kilograms and 5 meters in girth. If you take out the juicy golden pulp from there and attach the wheels, you will get a real carriage in which you can go to a ball or travel!

Thirdly, the golden pumpkin, like a nobleman lounging in the garden, resembled the clothes of aristocrats embroidered with gold. But not only! The carriages of that time were also upholstered in gold. So an expensive carriage was obviously coming out of a golden pumpkin.

Fourth, pumpkin is very durable. Not without reason, having scooped out its juicy inner part, very strong vessels are made from the peel (crust), suitable for various economic purposes. Well, shouldn't a magic carriage be durable?

And fifthly (this is generally a special case), pumpkin helps with motion sickness. Remember, Cinderella is not accustomed to riding in carriages, only the nobility used them. In addition, the carriages of that time were shaking a lot. So men generally preferred to travel on horseback, leaving the carriages to the ladies, who were ready to endure any difficulties, so as not to spoil the dress and hairstyle.

And did you know that…

In Perrault's tale, the prince has a proper name - Mirliflor. The storyteller formed it from two French words mirer- “strive”, “seek” and fleur- "flower".

This name has become a household name. In the time of King Louis XIV, “mirliflores” began to be called especially elegant young people from the highest nobility.

And one more "mystery", or rather, the remarkableness of Perrault's tale. This tale is not just literary, but reflects the features of the court world in which the storyteller lived.

Perrault introduces real modern details into an absolutely magical fairy tale, describes the details of magnificent balls and the manners that reigned at them. And all this with humor and gallantry, characteristic of the era of the "Sun King". The fairy tale becomes an echo of the palace festivities well known to Perro, with their noise, brilliance and eternal gossip. That is why Perrault's tales are considered to be the world's first literary, author's tales. Of course, Perrault used the plots of folk tales, but he did not simply process them in retellings, as, for example, our brilliant folklorist A.N. Afanasiev or the no less brilliant German folklore collectors the Brothers Grimm - no! Based on the folk story, Charles Perrault wrote his own author's fairy tale. Yes, we seem to hear the voice of the author himself, who loved to read his fairy tales in literary salons!

“A deep silence reigned, the dances stopped and the violins fell silent - such attention was attracted by the unprecedented beauty of the stranger. There was only a vague rumble of exclamations: "Oh, how beautiful!" All the ladies were closely examining her headdress and her dress in order to acquire similar outfits tomorrow. If only there will be a beautiful matter and there will be such skillful craftsmen.

That is, this is an aristocratic fairy tale. Hence the moral. It is in folk tales that the heroine received a prince and happiness because she was hardworking, diligent and kind to people. And in Perrault's aristocratic fairy tale, the key to Cinderella's success at the ball, and then in the heart of the prince, was the aristocratic values ​​​​of his time - good manners, the ability to behave impeccably in society. The heroine came to the ball in beautiful dresses (good taste), danced charmingly with the prince (elegance in dancing) and even treated her sisters to lemons and oranges, which the prince gave her (by the way, the most expensive delicacies at that time).

Here is the moral of Perrault's tale:

Undoubtedly, beauty for women is a real treasure;

Everyone tirelessly praises the beautiful view,

But the thing is priceless - no, even more expensive! -

Elegance, to put it another way.

<…>Beauties, there are gifts of outfits more valuable than all;

But it is possible to conquer hearts with only one -

By grace, by the amiable gift of a fairy:

Not a step without him, but at least for a kingdom with him.

To be honest, the diplomat Perrault covered his morals here with too much "diplomatic veil". Under the concept of "grace" he means rather the inner harmony (mode) of a person, his naturalness, and finally, the humanity of behavior and the kindness of disposition.

But it is remarkable - the folk wisdom that even the most unsightly, but smart, kind and hardworking girl can attract the attention of the prince, history itself proved. And this is not fiction, not a myth, but a real fact from the biography of the son-heir of King Louis XIV - Dauphin Louis.

You can read this real story in the Appendix to the book. In the meantime, we will not interrupt the conversation about the fairy tale. But…

Attention all fools!

Attention all fat women!

Read and remember - it happens!

Did Charles Perrault know this story? Of course! After all, he was not only a famous poet, critic, member of the French Academy, but also an experienced courtier, diplomat, to whom Louis XIV entrusted the most delicate and tricky things.

End of introductory segment. The full text is available at www.litres.ru

King of Life Thought and Word are the means of Art. Vice and Virtue are the material for his creativity. Do not ascribe unhealthy tendencies to the artist - he is allowed to depict everything. In essence, art is a mirror that reflects the one who looks into it, and not life at all. From

Water of life Oh! Hot water - you are living water. Once upon a time, our planet was a young planet of fire, then water and life cooled the earth, then people appeared under the green cover of the forest near cold rivers, but somewhere in the depths, where only the deepest streams reach, from heat

The art of life Art and reality are two opposite poles, the boundaries of the space of human activity. Within this space, the whole variety of human actions unfolds. Although objectively art is always in one way or another

28. About an unrighteous life And who does not live like a god, not like a Christian, does not have the fear of God and does not keep his father's tradition, and does not care about the church of God, and does not require Holy Scripture, and does not listen to his spiritual father, the advice of good people and does not delve into instructions in a divine way, repairs

The length of the life of the Prophet Suleiman lived twelve hundred years. When he died, the angels asked him: - How did it seem to you: did you live long or short in the world? The Prophet Suleiman replied: - How long does it take to enter one door of the house, and go out the other. So much time and

The principle of building educational courses of the School of Life. Lesson in the School of Life The concepts Educational content, Educational plan, Educational course are used instead of the concepts Educational content, Curriculum, Academic discipline. This emphasizes the importance of the essence

School of Life Teacher. Advice to the teacher of the School of Life The concepts Teacher and Student contain the highest spiritual meaning, coming from the same source as the meaning of the basic concepts for us: School, Upbringing, Education, Enlightenment, Lesson, Life. Teacher and student are both

The tale of Cinderella (in different versions) has been circulating around the world since the first century BC, in all these stories a young girl was offended by her stepmother and stepsisters, and only the love of a prince (or other noble person) saved her from a terrible life. Although there are hundreds of versions of Cinderella, the fact is undeniable: we are closest to the one told at the end of the 17th century by the Frenchman Charles Perrault. In the 19th century, a darker version of the fairy tale was born - from the Germans, the Brothers Grimm. The fairy tale became a source of inspiration for composers, choreographers, animators and cinematographers. Two Disney Cinderellas won the greatest popularity: a cartoon full-length cartoon filmed in the 1950s, and a 2015 movie with Lily James. They follow Perrault's story because the Grimm's tale is too dark. Why? You will learn this and other interesting facts about Cinderella from our selection.

Cinderella: little-known and sometimes shocking facts about everyone's favorite heroine

She became a household name

Why did the heroine get such a name? Probably, even small children know this fact about Cinderella - because of the ash. After all, the servants bathed very rarely, but lived in cold rooms, where they huddled up to the stoves to keep warm. Therefore, they were dirty. And also - they cleaned the master's fireplaces, and their clothes were powdered with ashes. But today the word "Cinderella" has already become a household word - this is the name of those who came out of the "bottom", but achieved success.

Cinderella effect

Many are surprised - why does the stepmother treat Cinderella so badly, because she is kind and hardworking? In modern psychology, there is a term that experts call the “Cinderella effect”. According to this theory, adoptive parents are often more strict with their children than their biological moms and dads. Some believe that this is due to the lack of a biological connection that occurs between parents and young children, others explain the phenomenon with banal jealousy: it seems to people that non-native offspring can somehow “press” their own children.

Where was the father looking?

In the Disney version of the tale, both Cinderella's mother and father have died, leaving her in the care of her cruel stepmother. But in fairy tales and Perrault, and Grimm, the father is alive and well. Why doesn't he stand up for his daughter? According to Perrault, the father is simply too soft and cannot resist the dictates of his new wife. The Grimm brothers generally stated that Cinderella is the child of the hero's first wife, that is, again, she is his adopted daughter.

Disney Cinderella Fact Ilene Woods

But the fact is not about Cinderella, but about her voice - the first actress who voiced an orphan in a Disney cartoon. A widely known story is how Ilene Woods' friends sent her demos to Disney. She herself knew nothing about it. But it was her voice that struck Walt Disney, and he chose Ilene from more than three hundred applicants. Alas, "Cinderella" Woods' life was not particularly rosy, and she eventually lost her memory due to Alzheimer's disease. True, the nurses recalled that the Cinderella song that Ilene once sang (that a dream is the desire of your heart) always calmed the old woman.

Orphan was the killer?

We are all used to seeing the heroine as an innocent sweet girl, but how about this shocking fact about Cinderella: in some versions of the fairy tale, she kills her stepmother. In one case, the governess provokes the orphan, and she breaks the neck of the “mommy”, slamming the lid of a heavy chest over her. In a Tibetan fairy tale, reminiscent of Cinderella, the girl is also a murderer, and then she burns her stepmother's corpse.

Disney animation could have ended on Cinderella

Walt Disney took a big risk when he took on the Cinderella project in 1948. After all, even "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937) forced the studio into a $4 million debt. Cinderella cost $3 million, if it had failed at the box office, the studio would have closed (which meant the end of Disney animation). Luckily, Cinderella was a hit, and with the profits, Walt was able to launch a television production, set up a distribution company, and start building the first Disneyland.

Dark version by the Brothers Grimm

Now let's talk about the gloominess of the Brothers Grimm version, here are the facts. Cinderella lost her mother at the very beginning of the story - she was swept away by the plague. The inconsolable girl sticks a walnut twig on her mother's grave, watering it with her tears for many years, it grows into a large tree. Cinderella prays to this giant three times a day. One day, a white bird flies and throws everything Cinderella needs (a silver and gold dress and beautiful shoes) onto the branches of a tree. So here they did without any fairy godmothers.

But that's not all. Another fact about Cinderella is that the stepmother tried to pass off her daughter as a prince, and for this she cut off one daughter's heels, the other - her fingers (so that they squeezed huge feet into a crystal slipper). True, this did not help, the birds whispered to the prince: “Look at the bloody legs!”. Moreover, angry birds flew at the sisters and pecked out their eyes - they avenged their stepdaughter!

No one even wore a glass slipper!

Here is another interesting fact about Cinderella - this time, about the fantasy of 2015. Nobody wore a glass slipper in it! How is it - you say - after all, we have all seen the incredibly beautiful shoes created by Swarovski. The specialists of this company even developed specialized equipment to create a sparkling miracle (eight copies of fabulous shoes were made). Turns out these shoes didn't fit and were used as props. And shoes were added to the actress's feet at a later stage - using CGI technology.

The price of beauty: Lily James and her outfit

As for the thin waist of this cinematic Cinderella, there were disputes here: many thought that Lily's figure was also computer processed. But no: James was actually very thin (her waist reached 43 cm), while she wore a slimming corset, even during difficult dance scenes. Add another heavy fluffy skirt of the dress and you will understand: here it is - the price of beauty, the actress had a very hard time!

A tempting story familiar from childhood about a stepdaughter who is forced by the entire female half of the family to work from morning to night, and the once loving father quietly keeps silent, fearing the wrath of his wife, continues to roam the expanses of literature, theater and cinema. For patience and diligence, Cinderella and her modern clones will certainly be rewarded: one day the Prince Charming will appear, and her life will change forever, with the help of the good Fairy. And then, as expected, they will live happily ever after.

But this is not so, says Lucia Suleimanova, author of the book “How to get into the palace if you are not Cinderella.” For centuries, the fairy tale has misled all the girls of the world that the role of Cinderella is the most profitable. And millions of them tried to repeat her fate. All this time, the Stepmother and her daughters were undeservedly blacklisted as evil heroines. And the Fairy was assigned the role of a performer of other people's desires and nothing more. And the Prince is not at all the chosen one, whom you should run after, dropping your crystal shoes.

The plot of the tale and the roles of each of its heroines are not so straightforward and unambiguous. And the prince is not as beautiful as it seems at first glance. “I, like many Soviet girls, also once believed that it was good to be Cinderella. This belief was supported by culture. Only in this way, with patience, you can get a prize: love, the hand and heart of the Prince, ”says the psychologist. But why then do many of us behave like Cinderella, but there is still no prize and no royal palace. The ending is also deceptive, according to which the happy, long and cloudless life of the newlyweds begins from the last page.

Why did the psychologist choose this fairy tale, because there are many other stories that are loved all over the world and whose heroines are equal to millions of girls, girls and women?

“I work a lot in the West, the Italians ordered this book for me, I write it in Russian, and we translate it into French and English,” says the author. - We settled on Cinderella because, like no other popular fairy tale, it contains all the archetypes that we meet in life and in which we recognize ourselves and others. It plays out that stage when people start a relationship, and we are interested in how they can develop further.

It's time to reread the fairy tale with the adult eyes of experienced people, abolishing stereotypes and habitual interpretations, she believes.

Misconception 1: This tale is about luck and eternal love

In fact, a fairy tale about relationships at a certain stage and about marriage with all its realities.

“Over time, I realized that we misunderstand the tale of Cinderella, or rather, use its clues inefficiently,” explains Lucia Suleymanova. - What did we think about this story in childhood and continue to think in adulthood? That the dream of a simple girl to become a princess is being realized there. Ah, we sighed, Cinderella is so lucky! If you are the same, everyone will love you, and then you just have to be patient and wait, and in the end there will certainly be a prize in the form of a wedding with the Prince.

To some extent, the fairy tale tells about success, because each hero implements his own strategy for obtaining the desired result. But to a greater extent, it shows female-male relations at a certain stage. The family of the Stepmother and the Forester has a desire to marry one of the daughters. And romantic relationships - namely, they are shown in a fairy tale - are only a part of marriage, and a small one at that.

The prince is a boy who grew up without a mother, with all the consequences

“Life has changed, and the attitude to Cinderella as a good uncomplaining performer, who at the end gets a big candy, ceases to be relevant. It only seems to us that the plot of this fairy tale is eternal precisely in its immutability. No, times have changed. The archaic type of Cinderella described in the old spirit, playing on the basic needs of a man, cannot survive in the modern world. Modern men no longer want to save their woman and take full responsibility for her fate. And they are not ready, as in the old days, having caught their "prey" - a beauty in a glass slipper - to stay with her forever. Now a man would prefer that a woman acting like Cinderella could still stand up for herself.

Misconception 2: the prince is the future ambitious King, only not yet grown up

In fact, the Prince has ambitions, but is afraid to show them in the palace and in power.

Our Prince is a boy who grew up without a mother with all the consequences: he did not receive maternal warmth and resources and did not separate from her. He is interested in walking through fields and forests - this is a safe area where his ambitions can manifest themselves without fear of competition with a strong father. Ambitions are expected from him, but with all his increased ego, he is not ambitious in the usual sense (crown, thirst for power, numerous subjects) - he does not need to expand and strengthen the state, looking for a profitable party among eminent princesses. He is a hostage of his status. In addition, he was so tired of the constant hunt for various potential brides for him that, seeing a beautiful girl who was not pursuing him, he drew attention to her.

He wanted to be free with a minimum of responsibility. Everyone, from his father to his subjects, expects and demands something from him. Cinderella did not demand anything, she accepted him for who he is. And he did not deceive her at all, talking about the bright prospects for their future. It's just that he, like a true romantic, believed in his own fairy tale.

Misconception 3: Cinderella is a lucky bright girl

In fact, Cinderella is an uninitiated boring performer, whom the Prince will cheat on in two years. “The true Cinderella is often formed in a family where she is an older sister, a nanny for younger children, or a girl who lost her mother early and assumed the functions of a mistress, or an unloved stepdaughter, or a child of emotionally cold parents, trying her best to earn their approval.”

An adult Cinderella is 6-7 years old in terms of energy level. She is a good girl who fulfills other people's desires in order to please and please, primarily her father. “Sometimes they become good secretaries, often for life. Often these are young wives from the “bring-give” category, who beautifully accompany a status husband. Some stay in this role all their lives, wondering why they get the wrong princes every time.

In fact, Cinderella remained an ungrown infantile child, habitually following other people's instructions and completely devoid of her own experience. But some inner instinct suggested to her the only true strategy: fleeing in order to have time to save a temporary, not her mask until the last strike of the clock, she awakens the instinct of a hunter in the Prince.

The prince would look more and more often at the ladies-in-waiting

“This is the most reasonable strategy for her, and it works,” says the author of the book. - After the wedding, at first they enjoyed each other. She looked at him with admiration. But time passed, and the Prince, with some awkwardness, began to feel bored more and more. Lovely habits, words and oversights of the simple Cinderella no longer amused, but annoyed. Her timidity and pathetic smile were embarrassing. She behaves like a puppy, ready to lick her hands and wag her tail! She is so passive, she can do nothing at all without instructions and guidance. And sex ... What a boring sex with her was - at first attracting with its timidity, but later predictable and correctly-without initiative. And the Prince began to look more and more often at the ladies-in-waiting, who are more educated and brighter than his wife.

Misconception 4: The role of Cinderella is accepted once and for all

In fact, we try on all the female roles from a fairy tale throughout our lives. Real relationships in life are focused on connection (it is called differently: love, tenderness, intimacy) and status. “If status is important to a woman, then she will turn a blind eye to the lack of tenderness and warmth from her partner. And we see that some of the heroes are focused on communication, and some - on the status. Where there is status, there is always ambition, for example, with the Stepmother and her daughters.

But if we consider the plot and the behavior of the characters in the context of relationships, it turns out that each image is not a separate autonomous character. This is us ourselves, but in specific situations and at specific stages of life and relationships. At different times, different roles are needed. Sometimes they are used inappropriately, and then you can hear: "You are acting like a child." This means that at this moment Cinderella woke up in you at the wrong time.

Misconception 5: I only want to be Cinderella

You need to understand who you are today and how effective your current role is - maybe it's time to change it?

“If you get stuck in a certain role, then the relationship, and we remember that this fairy tale is about them, will not develop and will most likely end, leaving disappointment and bitterness behind. It is worth checking what role you play at this stage. What does it give you, what restrictions does it impose? Did you stay in it? This does not mean that the role of Cinderella must be disposed of once and for all, as from an unnecessary, outdated ballast. No, it is very important to keep Cinderella in yourself as a magical component of the inner child, the history of magical thinking, an effective belief in a miracle, the power of desire and systemicity.

Cinderella is a girl of 6-7 years old, who does her best to justify the expectations of the family, so she is diligent. Stepmother's daughter - puberty, when the sea is knee-deep and the Lord God himself is not a competitor. There is a lot of self-confidence and hormones that sometimes turn off the brain. Sometimes, wanting to achieve some goal: a career, a stamp in the passport with the desired prince, we learn this particular role.

Meghan Markle, if she was Cinderella, it was only until the moment she entered the palace

The stepmother is an "anti-crisis manager" who, for the strategic task of the family system, makes unpopular decisions. Often, when there is no money in the family, the husband is lying on the couch or the children no longer understand what they want, the Stepmother “turns on” in the woman.

A fairy is a woman who fulfills other people's desires, because she cannot do otherwise. She is a born lifeguard or Batman in a skirt. “Often women make the mistake of becoming fairies immediately after marriage. Women of mature age often come to me after a divorce, who for many years gave a resource to their husband, the father of their children, raised him, believing that children need a stable and successful father. Now, when the children have grown up, scattered, their man decides to start everything from scratch with another woman - Cinderella or Stepmother's daughter. Many people think that famous women - Natalia Vodianova, Lady Diana, the young wife of Prince Harry Meghan Markle - are modern Cinderellas. But if they were such, then exactly until the moment they entered the Palace. And then they threw off the crystal shoes and changed the role to the one that helped them gain a foothold on a new height. What, alas, the fairy-tale heroine did not do.

About the expert

Clinical psychologist, managing partner of the Center for Educational Kinesiology, expert of federal TV channels on family and business relations, author of the book “How to get to the palace if you are not Cinderella”. Her website.

“Straighten your back, you are the future princess,” says a woman at a nearby table in a restaurant. She turns to her five-year-old daughter, who really straightens her back, pursing her lip sweetly and carefully bringing her fork to pasta. At the same time, I don’t see any dynastic signs in the child, but my mother knows better. "Ugh, you're so messed up! Such a prince will never love, ”is heard on the playground of the St. Petersburg courtyard. This mother wants to comb six-year-old Lyubochka, who plays catch-up with her girlfriends. The prince is definitely not included in the girl's plans at this moment.

The prince and princess are mythical persons for modern man. No, of course, dynasties have survived in Europe, but let's be honest: these guys have long ceased to be like characters that you want to set as an example for children, they are ordinary people with earthly problems. Therefore, it seems to me that when a mother says something like that, she puts into these words the image of a hero taken from children's literature, understandable to her child. And I, as a person who writes fairy tales and reads strangers with pleasure, I propose to think about what we bring to our daughters, wanting to grow princesses out of them, waiting for princes? Let's take as a basis, for example, the well-known "Cinderella".

This is not only a recognizable, but also an ancient fairy tale: it was found on Egyptian papyri, there is its Italian retelling of the beginning of the 17th century, the French version of Charles Pierrot and, of course, the bloodthirsty and therefore closest to life version of the Brothers Grimm. But it is important that the plot, according to which the poor girl miraculously ends up at the ball, where the prince falls in love with her, marries him, and this in itself is a happy ending, is now in doubt.

This story, like any other, coming from the people and only recorded by storytellers, was invented by ordinary people far from the 21st century. It was passed from mouth to mouth in peasant houses in the poor quarters of cities hundreds of years ago. In those days, the only chance for a woman to improve her social status was to marry a man of higher position. Probably, then “marrying a prince” really was a happy “ending” not only for the girl herself, but for her entire family. Although even here I want to doubt, because there are too many questions. And how did Cinderella feel when she was at a reception in honor of the Danish ambassador and it turned out that everyone speaks foreign languages, but she does not? And they had something to talk about with the prince, who was fascinated by ancient Greek philosophy? And what was it like for Cinderella herself to feel like a poor relative? Was her dad a welcome guest at the palace?

The scenario of “marrying a prince” has long ceased to be the ideal of female happiness, and “marrying a princess” is a controversial option for a modern man. Happy in our stormy freedom-loving time can be called the union of the most equal and consonant with each other people. Of course, there are no 100% coincidences, but it is foolish to deny the fact that the more a couple has in common, including in social status, the lower the resistance coefficient and the better the gears of a complex mechanism called “family” fit together. So why do all these “princesses” and “princes” still sound in the pedagogical speeches of parents of absolutely non-royal origin?

Then you come to the Ginza restaurant, and there all the tables are full of Cinderellas, only there are no princes, and if there are, then they are balding and with purses. The owners of expensive restaurants call girls not “princesses”, but “seagulls”, because they only order tea and wait for hours. I do not feel sorry for restaurateurs, tables, princesses with balding princes, let them sit, but I would not wish such a fate for my daughters.

In fairness, I note that there are many stories with a similar plot coming from past centuries: Rapunzel, Snow White and the Rose, German and Swedish folklore, our Russian Ivan the Fool is also not averse to marrying the princess at the end of each fairy tale. And in Cinderella, in addition to the storyline I have highlighted, you can find a lot of useful things for a modern girl: do not meet by clothes, judge a person by his actions, not hold grudges and be able to forgive. This is just a small part of what you can draw the attention of a child in this beautiful ancient story. Well, marry a prince - if you really want to.