The benefits of being overweight or overeating. Why You Can't Lose Weight: The Secret Benefits of Being Overweight

Continuing the theme, how to lose weight. let's talk about how to beat excess weight. without going in for sports and without exhausting ourselves with diets, but only by replacing our internal programs. Is it possible to lose weight without diets. Is it real? Many believe that it is possible and successfully to lose kilograms.

Excess weight, like any problem, has a positive intention for us. We, having extra pounds, have hidden benefits from this, which in turn have a lot of positive things for us, which at first glance is simply not noticeable.

What are hidden benefits? This is the reason why I need to have something, be it overweight, illness, problem, lack of love, etc. Our subconscious always takes care of us and fulfills our desires. Moreover, conscious desires do not play a role. Only subconscious desires matter, which may conflict with conscious desires. For example, consciously I naturally do not want to be overweight, but subconsciously I want to have extra pounds, since they are. I wonder how it is?

Every problem has a positive role it plays (benefit). It can protect us from something, give us what we subconsciously strive for or fear. Yes Yes! The fear of having something attracts IT, because fear is a signal of attraction. The desire to get rid of also attracts, on the contrary, what we do not want. Therefore, do not try to get rid of excess weight, make yourself an installation and wish to become slim. Not even “lose weight”, namely “become slim”. The word "lose weight" in itself is negative, from the word "bad" = "bad". We don't want bad things, do we?

Therefore, we are looking for the hidden benefits of excess weight in ourselves, and not in all of humanity.

What can be the benefits for us with extra pounds?

- Desire not to be liked by men or women

I do not want to have relationships with other men (women) other than my husband (wife), so I gain kilograms so that they do not pay attention to me. And then suddenly I will lead, fall in love and destroy the family.

The hidden benefit is the fulfillment of our desire "not to be liked by men", "not to be liked by women."

A positive intention is protection from betrayal, the destruction of the family, the desire to have a strong family in this way.

But my husband wants to like me! However, the former outweighs the latter. He is alone, and there are many other men.

You can also want to dislike men for other reasons. For example, when you don't want male harassment, when you don't want to be a sexual object for someone. I'm tired of the fact that all men want only one thing from me - sex, so I defend myself with excess weight so as not to attract attention to myself. I'm tired of the boss pulling me into bed, I'm gaining extra weight.

- A reason to justify yourself in case of failure.

I can't find a good job because slim people are required everywhere.

With my excess weight, just run ...

I can't find a husband who needs such a fat woman.

If I were slimmer, I would do this and that, but I can’t. Read: "I don't want to."

Being overweight keeps because it gives protection from accusations. The benefit is to justify to myself why I don't have something.

- Fear of gaining weight.

Fear has tremendous energy, because it is always seasoned with emotions. The more we fear, the faster we attract what we fear. With fear, we often see ourselves in a role in which we do not want to see ourselves. And the more often we visualize, the faster the cinema is realized. That is, fear helps to realize the undesirable. The subconscious does not understand that we do not want to gain weight. It sees the pictures and considers them the goal, we get fat.

— Protection for the vulnerable.

If you are very vulnerable, then the layer of fat is a kind of shield from the outside world, which can hurt at any moment.

When there are no other pleasures in life, we use food as the most accessible of them.

Benefit - to get pleasure in a quick way: to peck from the belly. We sweep everything and a lot.

The goal in life is to lose weight.

There are simply no other goals. And so I build up fat, then I set myself the goal of losing it.

Benefit - is the meaning of life = get rid of excess weight.

- The desire to give yourself weight in the eyes of others, importance.

For example, you lead a team where everyone is older than you. You unconsciously put on weight to make yourself look bigger.

Or you are the youngest in the family, you will always be considered the youngest, so your opinion is less important. You gain weight to give meaning to your opinions, desires.

There is one acquaintance, a plump girl, who is “a lot”, she constantly chats, laughs, I even get a headache from her if I am around for a long time. With her behavior, she wants to get more attention. Once I watched her in a conflict: she shrank into a ball, fell into a stupor, and became notorious. She is overweight just to take up more space and feel more important than she thinks she really is.

Men often grow a beer belly when the wife has more authority in the family than he does. The stomach gives it importance and significance. If a man does not care about the supremacy of his wife in the family, then the stomach does not grow. Although it can grow for other reasons listed above or below.

The positive intention is to feel significant in the universe.

- Desire to save, stinginess.

Stingy people who regret spending money and want to save it also gain weight. I want to save - I save fat too. There is also a reluctance to throw something away, to part with the unnecessary. We reluctantly part with unnecessary kilograms.

This also includes the accumulation of knowledge, information and unwillingness to share it with others. Start to give, kilograms will start to go away.

- Postponing for later.

Postponed cases = postponed fats. Our desire to procrastinate is being fulfilled.

- Completeness - a way to save.

When you feel sorry for the money for yourself, and there are so many temptations around and everything suits you for a thin figure, the desire to spend less money on clothes wakes up, because the spending is big. Bought everything, then regretted it. And now you have grown fat: what you like does not fit, and what does not fit does not paint. You come home without a purchase, but with an intact wallet.

The benefit is saving.

- Protection from troubles, from dangers, from the world.

The layer of fat in this case also acts as a shield. We fence ourselves off, protect ourselves from everything that frightens us, upsets us.

For example, I started gaining weight when my husband and I lived with my mother-in-law. The relationship was terrible, I tried to keep silent, to get away from communication that was unpleasant to me. Extra weight served as a kind of protection. As soon as we began to live separately, the weight began to go away.

One familiar woman began to gain weight sharply when her husband went into drinking bouts.

If anyone remembers from the school program "Childhood" of M. Gorky, then his grandmother was full, and his grandfather was frail. When the fire started in the workshop, the grandfather jumped and groaned, he was confused. In the workshop there was a bottle with vitriol, which could explode, in addition, a horse could suffer from a fire. Grandmother rushed into the burning workshop, pulled out the bottle, then led the mad horse out. She was like that in life. She felt like a protector of everything, a shield.

Find the reasons for your excess weight. What hidden benefits does it give you.

Having been traumatized in childhood, we wear masks all our lives.

Secondary Benefits is a hidden bonus, a hidden benefit derived from a particular behavior or problem.

This is what keeps a person in the problematic state that he received.

It may seem to us that behavior is useless, unconditioned, but no - it is determined by hidden benefits!

Externally, secondary benefits can manifest themselves as follows: man says, who really wants to lose weight, constantly talks about it, but does nothing, takes no action.

Why is this happening?
Because from this unaccepted decision, he unconsciously benefits.

The range of problems where you can encounter hidden benefits is quite wide: problems in interpersonal, love relationships, money problems, motivation problems, the problem of excess weight or, conversely, anorexia, etc.

What are the secondary benefits for overweight people?

1. Lack of jealousy on the part of a loved one.
2. Protection from unwanted thoughts, feelings.
3. Feeling of self-confidence, the ability to be assertive.
4. The ability to forget about yourself and be useful to significant people.
5. Playing the victim.
6. Creation of the image of "good man".
7. Attracting the attention of others.
8. Realization of the need for care, love.
9. Justification for life's failures.
10. Reducing responsibility for yourself and your life.

Overcoming the problem of secondary gain is solved with the help of two tasks:

• determination of the needs satisfied with the help of excess weight;
• search for alternative ways to meet these needs.

The very process of realizing the secondary benefit is quite laborious and unpleasant. Who wants to admit that he is failing in a relationship because it benefits him so much?

But sooner or later we understand that it is no longer possible to act like this, that something needs to be changed. To get out of this state, you need to deal first with your inner needs, intentions, desires.

For reveal hidden benefits I would like to suggest the following exercise:

1. Think and choose the most urgent problem for you at the moment. For example, being overweight, having problems with your spouse, having trouble getting a job.

2. Reflect and answer the question "What benefits do I get from ...".
Write down everything that comes to mind. Even those thoughts that at first glance seem insane and generally have nothing to do with this problem. Try to write at least 5-10 benefits.

3. Now consider whether you are ready to give up these hidden benefits?

4. If the answer is no, reread the list and think about what needs satisfied by these secondary benefits. Write them down below.

5. Realize that you are using inefficient, destructive ways to fulfill your needs.

6. Think about how you can fulfill these needs in a different way, without resorting to a problem. Select at least 3-5 ways.

Through the exercise, you will identify the secondary benefits of your problem. It is quite difficult to carry out the work alone, there is a chance to underwork something, to miss something. Therefore, it is best to contact a specialist after identifying the benefits for a thorough study.

Determining and understanding secondary benefits is the first step on the path to harmony!

The approaching summer "spurs" us to pay special attention to ourselves. The desire, especially in women, to be slim, rejuvenated, fresh and beautiful is aggravated. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is in the spring that the fight against excess weight is gaining momentum.

Some go on diets and train their bodies hard to feel comfortable on the beach. Others are tormented by remorse, because they are unable to refuse a tidbit. True, there are those who live and enjoy life, echoing the popular song: "Love me for who I am."

How to find that golden mean to enjoy life, look attractive, and not “fight” with yourself? Let's try to figure it out.

In the circle of your acquaintances, you have probably met people who are constantly struggling with extra pounds and centimeters. At the same time, they resort to various methods of losing weight: fasting, diets, shaping, nutritional supplements, etc. Some achieve the desired result, while others, on the contrary, do not change, or even gain weight. Why is this happening?

Psychology explains it this way: extra pounds bring some people unconscious benefits. After all, everything that we do in life, we need it for some reason ... Let's try to determine what positive excesses of the body give us.

1. Being overweight fills life with meaning.

There is a goal, and you need to strive for it. Basically, this applies to those people who have already raised children, do not have a favorite or stable job. Lack of demand is a powerful stress, the way out of which is at war with the body.

Therefore, he does not want to lose kilograms (just as he does not want to lose a wallet with money, because both are savings). He does not want to lose weight so that it is not bad (a synonym for the words “bad, poor, painful, scary”). For the subconscious, full bodily means filled with inner human content, the opposite of frivolity and windiness. Therefore, to get rid of fullness means to become "empty and superficial."

3. It has long been known that mortality among slightly overweight people is lower than among their thin peers.

There was even a saying: "While the thick one dries, the thin one dies." At present, scientific data have confirmed that people whose fullness did not reach the degree of obesity (no more than 13.5 kg from the norm) are much less likely than people with normal weight to die from a number of diseases and dangerous conditions, including emphysema, pneumonia, Alzheimer's disease, major surgery, trauma, and certain infectious diseases. This is due to the large reserves of nutrients in the body and increased muscle mass in overweight people.

4. Being overweight helps to "explain" disappointments in the arrangement of personal life.

A person convinces himself that until he loses weight, he will not successfully marry or marry .... Low self-esteem, unwillingness or inability to build relationships with the opposite sex are hidden under the guise of "overweight".

5. Being overweight "helps" avoid responsibility.

After all, extra pounds can be attributed to your failures, unwillingness to solve problems, bad habits and laziness.

6. Behind excess weight you can “hide” from the stress that arises. due to fear of changing your life.

For example, changing jobs, getting married or divorced, etc. It is easiest to blame your imperfect body for the lack of life prospects.

7. Sometimes overweight is the result of frequent feasts that people choose as the only way to communicate.

8. When we eat food, the blood rushes to the stomach, and the disturbing thoughts that arise in the head calm down.

Unconsciously sending piece by piece into our mouths, we temporarily conclude a truce with our restless consciousness. Excess weight is the result of "psychotherapy" food.

9. Another reason for excess "fat shell", especially in women, is psychological protection, especially from the fear of violence.

The subconscious, as it were, says: “No one will pay attention to me, so fat, and therefore will not offend. So while I'm fat, you can live in peace. It is sometimes difficult to establish on which episode or life situation such a defensive reaction arose, since the brain can veil it.

10. Often the weight does not come off due to compensation. any psychological problem.

Body weight and excessive appetite is an attempt to cope with excessive anxiety, increased nervousness, vulnerability, a sense of threat from the outside world ... To be complete means to be centered on yourself, to “ground yourself”, to feel support, to calm down, to be stable, to avoid fuss and chaos in own life.

11. Often, fullness gives greater inner freedom.

There is no trouble that every piece eaten will spoil the appearance. Less dependence on other people's opinions and attention - I am who I am, and I am ready to meet your negative attitude towards me, because I already know everything negative about myself.

12. Completeness gives a different quality of communication:

In the foreground - not showiness and catchiness, but personality traits: the level of intelligence, education, charm, spiritual development, charisma; priority of internal content over bodily forms. For a woman - protection from excessive attention of men: the absence of a rudely evaluative approach in communication, protection from disappointments.

13. Excess weight is a sign that outwardly unites people, a way to avoid loneliness.

It is easier to be full, there are more fat in society (only 5% of people meet modern standards of harmony, the remaining 95% are overweight to one degree or another).

14. Excess weight gives women the priority of grooming, elegance, sophistication, inner strength over flashiness and brightness, and men - solidity, authority, strength and status.

And this is not all the hidden benefits that a person “clings to” while gaining extra pounds. So it turns out that the benefits of being overweight are stronger than the most effective methods of losing weight.

Psychologist Dina Nagimova

""ONE FRIEND OF MY - HE COST TWO, HE EATED FOR TWO ...""

There are two sub-pygs:
- Oh, how cool you look!
How do you do it?
- It's all thanks to Herbalife.
- How do you take it?
- Am I completely out of my mind?
I don't accept it.
I sell it.

One of the most noticeable features inherent in people who got rid of excess weight is that such a person changes part of his social circle. Close friends, of course, remain, but for some reason some acquaintances disappear somewhere, but others appear ... In this chapter, we will figure out why this happens. And we will answer the question that may have arisen in the reader: "How to maintain friendly relations and at the same time gain long-term harmony?"

Sly Fat, being a kind of familiar theatrical mask, pushes to play the same stereotypical roles in a life scenario. Maintaining harmony in this case provides the ability to abandon their former role and form more natural and sincere relationships with loved ones.

The real world is filled with difficulties. And there are two ways - to solve problems and get true joy, or "hide" in a destructive addiction, enjoying an artificial buzz. Communication with others in our case is an important criterion for a quality lifestyle in a slender body.

There is a term in psychology: "secondary", or little realized benefit of a certain form of behavior, one's habitual role. With regard to overeating, finding such a benefit (most likely there are several) is largely a guarantee of "long-term" harmony. In relation to the topic of this chapter, the "secondary" benefit can be summarized briefly: being overweight helps communication and improves communication between people. After reading the last sentence, Sly Fat should be indignant and say: "It's all wrong, only troubles from me ... And here they are talking about some kind of benefit." His disagreement with his own good is nothing more than another cunning ploy. Read carefully the most common forms of "secondary" weight gain that our patients talk about. Remember that the realization of most of these "advantages" does not come immediately ...

Being overweight helps to forget about yourself and be useful to significant people.

Being overweight helps you appear kind and good.

Being overweight helps you be more assertive and more aggressive.

Being overweight helps you play the role of "victim" and evoke sympathy

Excess weight helps to attract the attention of others,

Excess weight helps to fulfill the need for love and care.

Being overweight makes it easier to get along with friends

Excess weight serves as an excuse for life's failures

Being overweight is a means of self-punishment

Excess weight contributes to a decrease in responsibility for oneself and one's life

Being overweight protects a person from unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions.

This is not the most complete list of the benefits of being overweight when communicating with friends, girlfriends and just acquaintances. Let's analyze these issues in more detail, because the relevance of the topic raised is emphasized by the fact that friendly ties are sometimes more significant than kindred ones. What is the catchphrase worth: "Not every brother is a friend, but every friend is a brother."

Full means good. In Russia, it is customary for a friend to "take off his last shirt", "stretch a helping hand" and "turn a friendly shoulder." Such is the Russian mentality. Sharing troubles, seeking sympathy from our neighbors - this is in our order of things. But in "things" there must be a measure. No wonder the Americans have a saying especially for such cases: "Don't burden me with your problems, but rather write down the phone number of my psychotherapist!"

The East, famous for its flamboyant style and wisdom, in this situation supports the pragmatic West, though, speaking more figuratively: "Don't put your monkeys on my shoulders!" The essence of such communication is very clearly illustrated by the following Eastern metaphor. When communicating, one friend complains to another about his hard life, naughty children, illness, poverty, etc. These problems can be represented in the form of monkeys, which the complaining person removes from his shoulders and transplants onto the shoulders of the interlocutor. After getting rid of most of the "excess weight" such a person straightens his shoulders and walks away with a sense of relief. And the monkeys remain on a reliable friendly shoulder.

Here's what it's about. We remind the reader that from the standpoint of physiology, excess weight is the accumulation of energy in the body, that is, the process when more energy is supplied with food than is consumed. This formulation is also accompanied by a psychodynamic point of view: in the process of communication, overweight people receive more "information load" from others than they give away. In other words, while listening to other people's complaints and taking an active part in other people's problems, they are silent about their own. This happens because of the fear of vulnerability, the fear of being misunderstood and "exposed to ridicule"). Among the people, such people are often called "waistcoats in which they cry." And what is left to do for that very “vest”, which, in addition to its own “monkeys on its shoulders”, has a herd of strangers? The easiest way is to start feeding them by increasing the calorie content of the daily diet. What is most interesting: the "vests" not only increase in weight, but there is tension in the muscles of the shoulders and back (a familiar feeling, isn't it, reader?), And later osteochondrosis develops. Other people's problems put pressure on the shoulders, not only figuratively, but also in the literal sense of the word. Therefore, having got rid of "foreign monkeys", that is, from the burden of unnecessary problems, it will be much easier for you not only to maintain harmony, but also to protect yourself from back pain.

We have repeatedly said that a person who wants to be useful to everyone (except himself) and who takes on someone else's responsibility runs the risk of falling into addiction. - "The body is the house for our soul", - says Eastern wisdom. Obese people’s unwillingness to take care of their own home is adjacent to an annoying need to always be useful to everyone: they help friends with a major apartment renovation, and there is not enough time to put things in order in their own house. People say about such women: "Ready to give the last." Ready, ready: But she puts herself in the place following the last.

The above does not mean that people should not be helped. You need to help, and this also brings pleasure. But not all and not always. With a deeper psychological analysis, it often turns out that the reason for the inability to differentiate their help in such people is the already familiar fear of loneliness, the fear that if a person refuses, he will be offended and forever part with a full lady.

Suit for emotions. Excess weight often plays a protective role as a "buffer" in communication. Fat seems to absorb emotional intensity, allowing a person to have "restraint like that of an astronaut", and to remain calm in any situation. a storm of feelings and emotions, but outwardly he remains imperturbable, restrained, kind. No wonder one of the synonyms for the word "get fat" is - "get better".

The fact is that, in a state of strong emotional arousal, human reactions develop in one of two directions - “fight” or “run”. This was proved by the founder of the doctrine of stress, Hans Selye. The "hit" reaction is aggressive, more characteristic of men. The reaction "run" (this is avoiding conflict, conciliation, reconciliation) is more characteristic of women. After all, the social role of a woman corresponds to patience, gentle and kind behavior. Such a lady often acts as an intermediary in quarrels, not unambiguously taking sides, not adding fuel to the fire, but sympathizing with everyone and supporting everyone. These are very valuable friends, because they can complain about everyone and everything for a long time, they are very compliant, they can be easily persuaded to fulfill any request. Friends and acquaintances consciously and unconsciously will resist changes in the character of such a lady after weight loss. Wanting to continue exploiting her "philanthropy", they can throw offensive phrases in her face, such as: "You have become some kind of evil and bitchy, you don't need to lose weight anymore!" Therefore, you have to live in a slender body despite the resistance of many girlfriends, who benefited from your former role of a "complete person" - unimaginably kind and reliable. Life has shown that women who successfully maintain harmony when communicating with friends begin to use the word "no" more often. It may seem strange to you, but in this case, by saying “no” to others more often, you are also saying “yes” to your slender body at the same time. Saying the word “no” a little more often increases confidence in one’s own opinion, and this is a good way to learn to control appetite, increasing self-esteem, contrasting it with feelings of inferiority and self-pity. To be honest, I must admit that you have already said this “no” before. But they spoke silently with the help of a fatty layer. All you need now is to allow yourself to say "no" out loud.

The best defense is an attack. Another, smaller proportion of our clients who have lost weight say that before weight loss, their behavior was more aggressive and assertive . A harsh attitude towards others is a consequence of the inability to establish relationships with other people, the fear of experiencing disappointment after being attached to some person. Of course, this is also a variant of psychological protection. And overweight was the result of occupying extreme positions on the aggressiveness-passivity scale. Most women who have become slender note in their condition the transition to the "golden mean" and the departure from extreme degrees - aggressiveness and passivity. In a word, they began to masterfully control that same emotional pendulum, which we have already talked about in detail.

Food execution. From a psychodynamic point of view, being overweight signals a need for love, care, recognition, and support from friends. In this context, the appearance is a clear evidence of the suffering that the mistress of extra pounds endures: “Look, what such a life has brought me to: shortness of breath, heavy gait. My life is a continuous misfortune>. From the language of the subconscious, these words are translated as follows: " Take care of me, I need your attention, since I can’t take care of myself.” Feeling self-pity, a person feels dissatisfaction with himself, guilt, and involuntarily seeks to punish himself. mothers learn from a bad attitude towards themselves, who nevertheless wants to be a good girl and obediently follows her mother in punishing herself.In this regard, there is a wonderful book by American authors: "Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go wherever they want."

In our scientific studies, it has been convincingly proven that people who are overweight have an increased level of auto-aggression (that is, aggression directed at oneself). A so-called "dead loop" is formed: the desire to punish oneself - appetite - weight gain - the desire to punish oneself. A distinctive feature of such people is a high level of self-abasement and a periodically occurring internal self-accusatory dialogue: "I have no shame, no conscience, I overate again, a fat fool, I gave myself a word, but violated:" Liz Burbo in her book "Five injuries, who interfere with being oneself" calls this type of people masochists, and writes: "Since the masochist seeks to prove his solidity, reliability and does not want to be controlled, he becomes very executive and takes on a lot of work." It is clear that it is possible to cope with a heavy load only with a large body, and the more "load on the shoulders" the greater the body weight of such a person. Here, the analogy with heavyweight weightlifters, whose large body mass allows them to lift more weight, is appropriate.

“For me, overeating was a cause and effect of self-punishment,” says Marina. “Having 23 extra pounds, I was often angry with myself not only for my weak willpower, but also for every little thing. Why did I do not do what I wanted, why I kept silent, why I didn’t express my point of view - such thoughts were with me almost daily. Having become slim, I stopped reproaching myself often, began to honestly express my point of view, and, surprisingly, my relationships with loved ones became more open. "

“Before I drew attention to myself and lost weight, I wanted to be everything necessary,” recalls Natalya. “Under sociability, I understood self-sacrifice for the sake of friends. Looking back, I can say that sometimes my actions, when I name of other people's interests, turned out to be ostentatious and in vain. Having become slim, I realized that the true good for my neighbor is not based on sacrifice, but on the ability to be imbued with his desire. "

“Before weight loss, I took a conciliatory position with or without,” says Jeanne. “However, sometimes the anger accumulated inside got out of control, and I felt guilty. Only food brought me relief in this situation. Therefore, any emotional outburst was always accompanied by overeating Long-term harmony was provided to me by the ability to “let off steam” in time.

We do not at all call for rushing to the other extreme and becoming capricious, heartless, callous, arrogant, etc. Understand us correctly: it is the ability to express your point of view, your true feelings that will allow you to get more sincere, sincere relationships with loved ones. When you believe that it’s not space vacuum around, but a beautiful earthly atmosphere, the need for a protective spacesuit will disappear by itself. Trust in other people is one of the most wonderful moments of trust in the world. Listen to yourself, is there a habit in your life to trust your feelings and desires to other people, or as our contemporary wrote: "I am not cunning, gullible from morning to evening, but from evening to morning - incredulous, cunning."

I remember a case with one of our patients. Thirty-two extra pounds were gained within a year and a half. According to her, excess weight brought only inconvenience and misfortune, and the realization of the benefits did not come immediately. In the process of psychotherapy, it turned out that weight gain began immediately after the transition to a new, highly paid job. Work went on until late at night and had to return home through dark courtyards. "And with excess weight, no one will stick to you. I am your best defense," Sly Fat told her and settled in the body for a long time.

Making excuses for life's failures. “I don’t get good relations with the opposite sex. It’s all my weight to blame. And I just can’t get a job because of my figure,” one lady thinks. Slimming, but problems remain. And she is again looking for an answer to the most important question: who will now be to blame for my life's failures? Naturally, not even thinking about your own responsibility! In a friendly company, such a person does not feel completely comfortable because of the many limiting beliefs, most of which he himself invented. Successfully maintaining harmony people in this case allow themselves to be imperfect. They recognize their weaknesses and learn to overcome adversity on their own. Don't blame anyone, not even yourself.

Following accepted traditions. Finally, it is impossible not to say about one more "pitfall" on the way to maintaining harmony. In Russia, it is a very common tradition to spend time in a friendly company for plentiful feasts and libations. Sometimes it comes to curiosity. In the small town of oil workers Strezhevoy, which is located in Western Siberia, we were faced with a curious situation: after the New Year holidays, many patients who successfully maintained harmony suddenly gained a few extra pounds. It turned out that in this town, where most of the inhabitants know each other, the New Year holidays are celebrated in a very curious way: they “sit down at the table” on December 25, and “get up” because of it around January 15. In general, the feast continues until everyone in the town congratulates each other, drinking and eating together.

Dependent states often play the role of a kind of “crutch” for communication, which can be especially clearly seen in the example of “drinking”: “like-minded people” establish relationships thanks to a common addiction, which further contributes to the “building of friendship”, sometimes being almost the only core on which the relationship is maintained. On this occasion, it would be a sin not to remember the joke: "Alcohol expands not only blood vessels, but also connections." Meanwhile, the measure of true friendship is not a joint "devotion" to a common vice, but a joint deliverance from it. It is not for nothing that people who decide to break free from the captivity of addiction seek psychological support in a new circle of friends (an example of this is the society of Alcoholics Anonymous, Eaters Anonymous, etc.).

As soon as one of the ladies in her usual environment begins to take care of her figure, she immediately becomes a target for envious glances and reproaches. “It’s obvious that she doesn’t respect me. I’ve been cooking here for two days, cooking, but she doesn’t eat anything!” - the hospitable hostess will think, looking at her friend, who has been chasing a pea along the bottom of the plate all evening. And he will most likely say the following: "Something you, my dear, look bad. You are haggard, circles under your eyes. Oh, this weight loss will not bring you to good." In a circle of friends, where the link is only plentiful food and everything that accompanies it, it is very difficult to maintain both harmony and good relations. But there is a way out of this situation. You may need to take your relationship with your friends to the next level. As sad as it is, if your friends needed your appetite and overeating, and do not need good health and appearance, this is not quite a friendly relationship. Perhaps they can be improved by introducing friends to your new lifestyle. If not, think about it: do you need such friends?

"One comrade tells another that he is going to go bear hunting.

We will lure him out of the lair and put him in the wrong place.
- And if there is a misfire?
- Then my partner won't miss.
What if he gets scared and runs away?
“Then I can climb the tree.”
- So the bear also climbs trees well.
- Listen, whose friend are you, mine or the bear?

According to most thinner ladies, their harmony was a test of friendship. Therefore, if it is impossible to maintain sincere friendship between a slender lady and her friend, who has remained the same, someone chooses the second, more difficult path - to change the circle of friends. A slim body is worth it...

The following exercise will allow you to look at your attitude towards being overweight from the outside. And that means taking a step towards a slender body.

Carefully study the "evasions" of Tricky Fat and the prescriptions for a slender body given in the table. Think, and complete the table already with your own prescriptions and evasions.

Excerpt from the book
specialists