How to humiliate a person with a word: examples of phrases and patterns of behavior. What is humiliation of human dignity

In this helpful article, you will learn about how to humiliate a person with clever words without using fists.
It is a sin to offend a good person, remember this.
For any humiliation of the innocent, you will have to pay the penalty from above.
But there are cases when you are smeared on the wall, uttering phrases of obscene content.
Of course, you can answer the offender in the same way or hit in the teeth with all your might.
But this is not a very delicate method, my friends.

It is much more difficult to humiliate a person without putting him on his shoulder blades, but by choosing such phrases that they destroy him in a moral sense.
That's what we're going to do.

Phrases that humiliate a person for insulting dignity

If your dignity has been questioned - no matter who you are - a man or a woman, try to answer with these phraseological units:

one). Only a moral impotent or a creature lowered by life can offend a woman.
2). You are now throwing insults because you stubbornly hide your own inadequacy.
3). My dignity is not at its height, but it is not at the bottom either. And you give out in yourself a weak and morally wretched person.
four). Your insults sound like a helpless attempt to prove your superiority.

With these phrases you humiliate a person carefully and delicately. Intelligently lowering it, you yourself do not become like an evil offender.

Phrases that morally kill a person for humiliation

I want to warn you right away that they should be used with great caution. The thing is that you are endowed with the ability to program a person for negative consequences. His payment for the offense caused to you will be an unfavorable event that will occur in close connection with the verbal “prophecy”.
Not quite clear?
Now you will understand everything.

Examples of phrases that morally kill and fatally program the offender for “eternal memory”:

5). I won't answer you. But then you will understand that you have accumulated all the misfortunes from that day on.
6). The queue to the oncologist is very long, and you will be at the end. (Say these words only in case of severe humiliation.)
7). You have to pay for everything in this life. Do not forget this day, so that later you do not think about what God punished you for.
eight). From this moment on, misfortune will begin in your life. I'm not afraid, but I know about it.

With a little fantasizing, you can pretty much supplement the proposed list.
Just do not go too far and do not program a good person for bad fatalism.
It is quite possible that you were humiliated by a rather hypochondriac and weak personality, which will begin to fade away after all that has been said.

Humiliation is one of the experiences we try to avoid. This is quite understandable. To be humiliated or to do something humiliating means to come into contact with something that lowers our human dignity, reduces self-respect and, in extreme cases, throws a person to the very social bottom. No wonder all sorts of despotic kings / rulers / directors who are kept in power at the expense of

manifestations of dissidents, very often they try not only to “neutralize” their victims, but also to humiliate them - both in their own eyes and in the eyes of those around them. In the criminal environment, the extreme degree of humiliation is to be “lowered”, there is no lower status in the hierarchy of prisons. The purpose of the insults that people often throw in real and virtual life is to humiliate, that is, to show that the one I insult is worse, lower than me. And on the opposite pole from humiliation is arrogance - also an experience rejected by many people and the behavior associated with it. In general, a very unpleasant series is built around humiliation - insult, contempt, rejection, disgust, arrogance ...

And therefore, it may be rather strange to say that the experience of humiliation is often an integral part of the true development of a person, without which progress is often extremely problematic. Of course, I do not propose to humiliate people, but I want to reflect on this statement of mine.

What is the essence of humiliation - actions and experiences, closely associated with a sense of shame? I think it is best expressed by the following phrase, addressed to oneself: “I am not as good as I believed and felt” (and if someone humiliates us, then he tells us: “you are not as good as you yourself you imagine yourself" - and we believe). Not "so good" in general or in some particular areas of life. We all have multiple images of ourselves. There is an “ideal self” that we aspire to, which can feel like an unattainable model - or as a simple benchmark in our lives against which we compare our actions and decisions. There is a "real me" - what we "really" are. “Really” is not in objective reality, of course, but how we feel now. And most of us, consciously or unconsciously, feel like relatively, but still good people. Self-esteem, the ability to see one's worth, self-respect is based on this “in general, I am good”. The somewhat old-fashioned - but no less relevant - word "honor" is also based on the perception of oneself as "generally good." The basis of honor is, as I understand it, the conformity of a person's personal qualities and behavior to a model that is accepted by him or society as worthy. This is the right to evaluate oneself and one's existence in the category of self-respect. Honor determines whether a person has acceptable and unacceptable words and actions for him, and the commission of the latter drops a person in his own eyes.

Our numerous self-justifications are also based on the experience “I am the current one - generally good” when we do something or do something to us that clearly violates what we ourselves consider acceptable. For example, they force us to lie where we don’t want to lie, or under the threat of being fired to do something that “seems to be” unacceptable for us… us from unbearable shame.

It is important to distinguish between humiliation as an intentional action towards another person and humiliation as an action performed within ourselves (I am mainly writing about internal action here). For example, two hockey teams play, and one mercilessly defeated the other. Did she humiliate her opponent by the very fact of a crushing victory? No, but the losers may feel humiliated: "we felt worthy to fight them, but they showed us our place...". And the winners can sympathize with the vanquished, or they can offend. The very fact of their victory is not a humiliation.

So, humiliation is not just the discovery that your actions (thoughts, feelings, qualities, skills, abilities ...) completely contradict the image of a “good real self”, but the destruction of this “I” (or, more often, part of it) . This is the experience of falling from the pedestal on which he himself raised himself. Often humiliation occurs during studies and in the professional field. For example, you consider yourself an excellent professional in your field - and then you are sent to study at some center, and you find, firstly, professionals are much better than themselves, and there are many of them, and they are not unique. And you realize that what you were proud of and what you considered the pinnacle of your skill is only the first step, the initial level. And, worst of all, those around you also noticed that you are .. well ... not very compared to them. No, they did not scoff, did not laugh - but they saw ... And how will you react?

Or, for example, I consider myself a smart and critical person - and then I suddenly discover that in an important issue for me I am not only wrong, but I made a number of frankly stupid assumptions or mistakes that are typical just for those whom I considered worse than myself . How will I react? I’ll say right away “yes, I’m wrong, I made a mistake here ...” - or will I first try to evade humiliation, find an excuse for myself and try to jump back onto the pedestal of “always a smart and critical person”, from which I just flew off?

Entire nations do not cope well with humiliation. The defeated in wars and confrontations hardly admit “it seems that we are not so good, since we lost” - they often begin to talk about “fifth columns”, traitors, deceit of enemies, and so on. The national humiliation of the Germans in the First World War raised the Nazis, who suggested that the Germans rush to the other extreme - racist arrogance: "you are worse than us." The humiliation after the collapse of the USSR is also difficult for the post-Soviet countries, and this applies not only to Russia.

To experience humiliation requires more than an inner feeling that "I'm not as good as I believed." You can feel lower only in comparison with someone. For example, you imagine for a long time that you are better than other people in something, and then something happens - and you realize that you are the same or even worse. That you lie just like "they"; that you drink vodka in the same quantities and with the same consequences as the "last wino".

Additional shades of humiliation are added by other people's disappointment in us. "We thought you were like that, but you..." Notes of guilt pour into the experience: “you hoped for me, but I ... let me down, deceived.” But other people's disappointment in us becomes almost unbearable when we have been fascinated by ourselves.

When instead of a pumpkin (perhaps even a very good and beautiful one) you see a carriage. And disappointment in yourself is a necessary step in order to return to reality.

Returning to the real world, in which you do not stand on a shaky foundation, but rest your feet on the wide earth, is one of the possible consequences of humiliation. The higher the pedestal, the stronger the fascination with oneself - the more painful it is to fall and the more unsightly the picture is when the veil falls from the eyes. According to one alcoholic, he realized the depth of his degradation when he saw disgust in the eyes of his school friend, whom he had not seen for many years. And then the sad prince-philosopher, experiencing the imperfection of this world, turned into a foul-smelling alcoholic who drank away all the furniture, lost his wife and job. The real sobering.

True, moments of sobriety can be very brief. Often people go to one of the extremes.

1) Return charm. To do this, there is a rich arsenal of defenses aimed at implementing the slogan "I am a prince, they just let me down and smeared with mud." We didn't lose, we were betrayed. It's not me who is incompetent in certain matters, it's the critic who envy me. I am a psychotherapist/coach/teacher-universal, and the fact that it is not possible to work with some clients is that the clients/students are unprepared, mediocre and without motivation. We are losing in not because it is degrading under our leadership, but because the wrong players were taken, so if Kozlov and Gigantov were taken instead of Baranov and Bolshoy, that would be the case! :)).

It is possible to declare an environment in which we constantly encounter internal humiliation as “uncomfortable, not suitable for me” - and go where it is easier. Of course, we are not talking about an environment where other people really try to humiliate and expose us - we need to leave such an environment. But, by the way, to start strenuously humiliating others, to fall into arrogance - this is also a way to be fascinated by yourself again. An arrogant person takes on a status higher than which there is no higher - the status of a judge. "I'm better than you, don't come near me."

2) The second extreme is to humiliate yourself even more. Arrogance brought down on himself. The monument to a good self looks at us lying at its foot, and repeats with an unpleasant grimace: you failed, you are not me, move away from my pedestal, do not stain my pedestal with your snot! I regularly observe the most striking examples of reeling from arrogance to self-deprecation among our sports fans, who, at the moments of victory, shout this tired mouth “we are the best !!! we will tear everyone apart!!!”, and in moments of defeat - “we are days-and-and-we, everything is bad!”. From a session of self-aggrandizement to a session of self-exposure and self-flagellation.

There is a third option, and it is not entirely about the "golden mean". Having fallen and hit hard, you can get up and start looking around: where did I end up? Yes, I feel humiliation, and it is very painful, there, bruises ache from the blow or even a fracture in the soul. But what is this height from which I fell? How did I get there, on this tall pedestal? What were you fascinated by? And what is around me now?

Are there people I can go to for support even in this state? Who will not turn up their noses “fu, what are you really like”, but will accept - and will not sing sweet songs that you are beautiful, but will look at the wounds with sympathy and help heal them? Will they talk about their scars or even show them - and share their experience? And will you be able to hear them, or will you want to escape into an arrogant "I don't need your help!"?

And then to training. Yes, they can try to humiliate us completely undeservedly. The boss can be arrogant. It can be humiliating to go to learn from those who have surpassed you, and whom you considered your equal (or even lower). It is humiliating to admit that he was engaged in self-deception. It is humiliating to find that the time of your triumph has passed, and that the gilding has already peeled off, and the laurels have withered. All this is definitely painful, and you can try to ease this pain, to distract yourself from it. And you can take this pain into service, listen to it, dispel the fascination with yourself - and use the energy that it gives to learn how to do something in reality. It is even better, of course, not to be fascinated, but to know what is my strength and what is my weakness. But the ability to get up after a failure, say to yourself “yes, I was bad here,” and go to work on mistakes without self-abasement is definitely not a weakness. Moreover, people see and appreciate such a reaction, because, in my opinion, this is one of the highest manifestations of human dignity. And the one who does not see and strives to hit the fallen one himself, most likely, is unable to cope with his horror of humiliation.

As the explanatory dictionary says, vanity is the need for evidence of one's own superiority over other people. On the one hand, this is a sign of morbid pride. On the other hand, the desire to be better than others is excellent, and sometimes the only one for self-development. Perhaps, with this tool of evolution, nature slightly overdid it. Competitive spirit and self-affirmation as a motivation work great if they do not reach outright humiliation and tyranny.

Trying to be better than others by playing by the rules and developing personal skills is a healthy motivation. Perhaps the whole point is that nature encourages human development, rewarding those who are successful in this business with a sense of satisfaction. And a man - a cunning creature - has learned to deceive himself and experience satisfaction from pseudo-development. This is self-deception, in which, in order to “keep up the mark”, one does not need to grow oneself, it is enough just to humiliate other people. In order to stay on the level, it is much easier to lower others than to actually advance in one's own evolution. But a substitute for “development” by belittling other people is a fake, an imitation of development, a dead model, which in reality is rather a degradation.

Vanity of nothingness

Vanity is a way to deceive yourself by getting satisfaction from the illusion of your own greatness. In advanced stages, vanity develops into star disease and further into delusions of grandeur self-satisfied paranoia, with which a person imagines his own power, beauty and genius out of nowhere. All this is the other side of humiliation. Vanity is an exalted meanness.

Sometimes, when we ask for help, or when this help is offered to us without our asking, we can experience humiliation, because there is a stamp in our heads that help is needed by weak, helpless, or inferior members of society. Another proud person will not ask for help, even if someone's life depends on it.

We are humiliated not so much by "kings" as by people equal to us, but in their vanity, who imagine themselves to be kings. And if this happens, it means that our position is below average, you can spit in our direction and pour slops as long as we allow it. In a certain sense, the desire to be “above” others is the baseness that tries to rise at the expense of others.

A vain nothingness rejoices in someone else's pain, becomes an "energy" vampire who feeds on someone else's suffering. Insignificance seeks out people's sore spots in order to feel power over them. Legs grow from here, including: selfishness, snobbery, ambition, pride, star fever, etc. Putting on all these pompous masks, we flaunt our own humiliation within ourselves. We exalt ourselves to the skies, trampling our own suppressed insignificance into the dirt. This is how we create and maintain an internal psychic split in which our greatness is the other side of our insignificance.

When a person experiences humiliation for a long time, he loses self respect, and self-esteem becomes low. He closes himself off from others, hides his pain, defending himself with a mask of false personality, which is artificially designed to hide mental trauma. As the internal split grows, the psyche becomes less and less stable, and the person is in continuous tension, because he cannot be himself, cannot reveal his insides to others, or even to himself, disfigured by the bleeding wound of humiliation.

With such a wound in the soul, a person painfully perceives any criticism, accidentally heard extraneous laughter takes it at his own expense as a mockery, and even an innocent remark reminds him of suppressed humiliation.

At the same time, an outside critic is sometimes perceived as if he saw through the humiliated, revealed his secret about a mental wound in the soul, got under the skin, and, recognizing a weak spot, pricked him in his very epicenter.

All these are personal hallucinations of a wounded soul. That is why the therapist, listening to the client, at some appropriate moment may ask a question about similar cases from the past. Perhaps, in early childhood, when the child was unable to digest humiliation, this experience was repressed into his unconscious. And in the unconscious, mental wounds do not heal, but continue to bleed. To heal, you need to patiently open up, eliminating all false guises, face your own fears.

It is not surprising that even innocent criticism can cause hatred in a wounded soul. A humiliated and conceited person is greedy for flattery, and is extremely dependent on the opinions of others, which others sometimes consciously or unconsciously use. The once humiliated person often plays it safe, defending himself even where there was no smell of an attack, which makes him seem unreasonably harsh and aggressive.

The more neglected the “situation”, the more tense a person is, the more difficult it is for him to communicate with other people, the more alone, at times, a person feels. In such a situation, the role of a psychologist can be indispensable. A suffering person needs to be simply listened to, allowed to be himself, accepted without any judgment, sensitively and with respect for his essence.

The love of a vain nothingness

At the opposite pole, it is convenient for a sick psyche to attribute internal self-aggrandizement to “victories” on the love front. Such a person in a relationship does not build relationships so much as asserts himself, tries to prove to himself with another victory that he is not a miserable nonentity. And if this self-affirmation is resisted, "love" suddenly turns into hatred.

Why do we hate our beloved? He did not amuse our pride, did not exalt our person, showed that we are unworthy of such an attitude, and therefore our conceited majesty falls into the other extreme - humiliation. Hate is mixed with love, because the refusal of reciprocity tramples down pride, which in fact was just a cover for one's own inner insignificance.

And by the way, the stronger the beloved trampled our pride into the dirt, the stronger we “love” him! Remember? One extreme supports and strengthens the other. This kind of painful "love" goes hand in hand with vanity, hatred, and humiliation.

Let me remind you that this is not at all about some real insignificance, but only about his conflicting feelings and guesses at his own expense. We do all this with ourselves. This is how mental mechanisms work. We trample ourselves into the dirt in order to exalt ourselves later. Most of us suffer from such mental “wounds” to varying degrees.

The vanity of civilization

Our entire civilization rests on the self-assertion of its own worthlessness. Remember your childhood. We've always liked heroes who indulge their ego in a particularly skillful way. The cooler the hero, the more masterly he exalts his ego: the indestructible terminator, or the powerful Neo, who defeats the neurotic Smith, Cinderella, who made her way from the bottom of society straight to the prince, Barbie, born in the wealth and luxury of pink glamour.

What is Pushkin's fairy tale about a magic mirror worth! The sly mirror inspired the proud queen that she was "the sweetest of all in the world." And so, a whole mess ensued around the low self-esteem of the queen! The “cruel” truth that the young princess is more beautiful, the painful psyche of the queen could not perceive reasonably, and in order to keep her image on top, the queen was ready to go “breaking bad”. The list is endless. Every story has a good example.

And we become the greatest masters in this difficult matter of conceited self-aggrandizement on the spiritual path, when, renouncing pride, we amuse it precisely - pride at more and more sophisticated and refined levels. I think this should be treated with calm understanding.

Vanity and humiliation

A long experience of humiliation does not mean that a person can be put an end to. On the contrary, overcoming the imbalance, we gain wisdom and become stronger than we could become without this tempering experience. All mental "diseases" are overcome. Our weaknesses are simply those mental “muscles” that need to be worked on first of all, turning weakness into strength.

Often, when we see others being criticized, we can easily recognize the subjectivity of the critic. But if they criticize our person, then we begin to take criticism seriously. There is a kind of "coupling", when the critic's hallucinations seem to coincide with the hallucinations of the humiliating one.

For example, a dominant boss scolds a subordinate, reaching tyranny, towering over a person who depends on him. And the subordinate, actively participating in the "game" not on an equal footing, is humiliated, affirming himself in the position of a weak junior manager. The subordinate perceives this as an “objective” reality, a “common” space in which this single process of humiliation and exaltation takes place between two subjects. All this feels so realistic, as if it really is an objective reality. And the reciprocal hatred of the boss also seems justified and appropriate.

However, this whole situation takes place in the head of the subordinate. There is no "objective" reality where the boss in the role of alpha male humiliates a subordinate. These are all subjective perceptions, dualistic mind games that most people play in their heads every day.

What really goes on in the boss's head is irrelevant. The subjective experiences of the boss do not go beyond his head. If the boss masturbates in public amuses his vanity - this is his "national" problem. The subordinate only hears the timbre of the voice, sees facial expressions, and characterizes all this in accordance with his life experience. And if in his experience there is a psychotrauma of humiliation, it is naturally projected in a new similar situation.

In psychology, there is a term "classical conditioning", which refers to the process of developing a conditioned reflex. Have you heard the joke about laboratory monkeys?

Two monkeys in a cage are talking:
- Girlfriend, what is a conditioned reflex?
– Well, how can I explain it to you… Do you see this lever? As soon as I press it, this man in a white coat immediately comes up and gives me a sugar cube!

Conditioned reflexes appear when, for example, we react to a neutral situation emotionally, because in our head it is associated with another situation from the past, where we have already shown exactly these emotions.

That is, when a subordinate hates the Boss, it is possible that he actually hates his father, or a bully classmate who in the past subdued our subordinate by suppressing him. Perhaps the boss's remarks were innocent, but some subtly similar undertones of his actions aroused repressed feelings in the subordinate, and caused an inadequate reaction.

That is why it is advisable to maintain a healthy self-esteem in a child, because the child's consciousness is not yet able to fully realize the illusory nature of mental duality. Trauma inflicted in early childhood is repressed into the unconscious, and may haunt the individual throughout life. After all, it is in childhood that our basic ideas about the world and society are developed. It is extremely difficult to change them in adulthood.

To humiliate others is a much worse kind of pride than to exalt oneself beyond one's merit.
Francesco Petrarca

Pride is an echo of former humiliation.
Stepan Balakin

Do not humiliate yourself in front of anyone: do not look down on anyone!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

If you have not humiliated yourself, nothing can humiliate you.
Richard Yucht

Conscious humiliation

Sometimes humiliation is deliberately chosen for various reasons. For some, humiliation is a kind of psychological extreme that provides a liberating feeling of looseness, overcoming boundaries and freedom from fear.

Something similar, with a characteristic rush of adrenaline, is felt by fans of extreme sports, for example, during parachuting. The looseness of feelings gives a feeling when "the sea is knee-deep".

In other cases, some people like to feel like a subordinate thing, with which the owner will do whatever he wants. This, I believe, is a distorted need for acceptance and trust, somewhat analogous to a child's trust in parents.

I have already said above that humiliation is the other side of vanity. Perhaps people who have great power over others (bosses, bosses, etc.) may consciously choose humiliation to smooth out self-esteem and defuse tension.

In our society, there is even a separate psychosexual subculture “BDSM”, which is based on humiliation and domination in sexual relations. Followers of "BDSM" get excited and defuse emotional tension by violating social conventions and taboos in their role-playing games.

Sometimes they humiliate themselves in order to manipulate the vanity of another person, whom they exalt with their humiliation. For example, by humiliating himself, a person in the role of a weak person simply seeks to relieve himself of responsibility in order to leave all difficult matters for a “strong” personality, greedy for flattery and vanity. Humiliated at the same time, he can consider himself smarter, since he managed to achieve what he wanted with his “cunning” manipulations. Or the humiliating one simply wants pity, and longs to stay forever in where it is convenient for him to be helpless and weak.

Beggars and beggars also play on pity for their humiliating position. They say that some of these "beggars" earn by humiliation much more decently than their benefactors.

Sometimes people come to deliberate humiliation in order to avoid punishment from the dominant authority. If the authority is led to the "game", it also, in its psyche, increases the split, swinging the pendulum of vanity and humiliation.

Another rather rare variant of conscious humiliation is for the spiritual purpose of pacifying pride and vanity. But with such a goal, a person is not so much humiliated as he learns to show humility. And such humility, I think, should not be confused with humiliation. Ordinary humiliation is always a certain kind of self-deception and rejection of the current situation. Humility on the spiritual path, on the contrary, is associated with the acceptance of the life that is happening. Humiliation is different from humility, just as neurosis is different from holiness.

Inertia

Understanding how our psyche operates, how we become attached to the pendulum of humiliation and vanity, helps to draw attention to these mental mechanisms. But even their conscious understanding does not guarantee complete liberation from these experiences. I can speak from my own experience.

Inertia is like one of the key laws of the mind. A mind without habits is the mind of a Buddha. And if a person claims that he does not have pride and a sense of self-importance, most likely, this means that his pride is so highly developed that it prevents a person from recognizing its presence.

The way out of this painful duality is self-knowledge, diligent systematic awareness, sensitivity and attentiveness to the manifestations of one's own psyche. In order not to get involved in this game, be honest with yourself. Does it really matter what leads other people? What is driving you?

If you don't play vanity and humiliation, it becomes boring to humiliate you. Not getting the desired result, the petty tyrant ceases to get his painful pride.

If you can laugh at yourself, no one can laugh at you. A person is humiliated not when he bows, but when he feels humiliation. The very experience of humiliation is a sign of an internal split.

The strong one is not the one who rises, but the one who no longer needs it. It is quite possible to be a successful and prosperous person without becoming a conceited idiot. Such impulses in oneself should be carefully examined so that they go out in the bud. Vanity is just a game of strength and a real internal split. True strength is our healthy psyche, creative will, developed abilities and talents.

© Igor Satorin

Article " Vanity, pride and humiliation” written specifically for
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What is humiliation? Humiliation is any infringement of the rights and dignity of an individual. Unfortunately, in life we ​​sometimes have to deal with humiliation. It occurs most often at school, at work, or in other social settings. Society tends to influence a person, to subordinate him to his own rules, to impose various stereotypes and attitudes. As a result, the inner world of a person suffers and, first of all, self-esteem. The consequences can be extremely severe: inability to trust people, fear of building close relationships, isolation. It seems that you are alone in the whole world and no one can be trusted with your own experiences. Individuality is lost, because a person is forced to put on a protective “mask”, fearing new ridicule.

signs of humiliation

By what criteria can one determine that a person is experiencing humiliation? A person who has been humiliated always feels extremely vulnerable. It seems to him that now anyone can offend him.

Lack of self-esteem

Is it possible to be content and happy with everything when you are constantly humiliated? Humiliation is terrible because it quickly forms self-doubt, fear of the future. Such a person will try by all means to avoid a collision with offenders, will not once again get involved in an argument. A clear sign of self-doubt is the loss of individuality. Since any humiliation negatively affects a person, it is difficult for a person, after everything experienced, to realize his own significance and value. Having experienced humiliation, people are afraid of new contacts, social interaction. Especially in this matter, the child's psyche is vulnerable.

Fear of everything new

The experience of insult causes the personality not to show itself even in those cases when it is useful for development. The person often focuses on past grievances and does not want to move on. Fear of everything new blocks cognitive activity, teaches you to defend yourself even in situations where nothing threatens either physical or mental health. Most people who have ever been humiliated were subsequently afraid to go beyond the behavior imposed by society.

How to survive humiliation

If an unpleasant event has occurred in your life that has caused significant damage to your personality, you need to act immediately. You can never hush up the situation, in this way you will not be able to get rid of the all-consuming inner pain. How to survive humiliation? To cope with it and prevent such an attitude from now on, you need constant work on yourself. It is impossible to completely isolate oneself from society and avoid all kinds of social contacts. It is important to learn how to maintain self-esteem, how to protect yourself properly.

Increase self-esteem

People who decide to act actively want to change the situation, get out of the role of a victim (victim complex). To do this, you need to carefully work with your own self-esteem, believe in yourself. You need to try to find your strengths and put a significant emphasis on them. If you yourself cannot understand how you differ from others, then the best option would be to seek help from a psychologist. A competent specialist will help you understand the nuances of a particular situation, build a harmonious relationship with yourself. Raising self-esteem has a positive effect on personality development. Such a person will never allow himself to be offended in the future.

Circle of friends

The humiliation experienced at least once makes the person continue to treat people more warily and distrustfully. Humiliation is never good, because after such an experience, serious internal rehabilitation is required. It is advisable to change your social circle if you want to get rid of further insults. Even the mere recollection of past events can lead to additional experiences. Take the time and effort to find like-minded people, create a favorable atmosphere around you. When there are people you can trust around, the consequences of humiliation will gradually be minimized.

Ability Development

Humiliation often forces a person to withdraw into himself. This is a completely natural reaction: a person needs to restore mental strength, regain balance, comprehend what happened. But you can not stay in this state for too long, because otherwise it will be more and more difficult to face the disturbing problem alone.

The development of abilities as well as possible helps to believe in the available prospects and opportunities. A person who has experienced an insult, more than anyone else, needs the approval of others. He wants someone to notice his outstanding abilities, to believe that it is possible to change everything for the better. In addition, the development of talents gives a powerful impetus to the formation of self-confidence. The more we value ourselves, the easier it is to interact with others.

A change of scenery

Sometimes, in order to reduce the destructive effects of humiliation, it is required to leave somewhere for a while. You can resort to this method, especially since it is very effective. Any change of scenery in most cases has a beneficial effect on the psyche: the level of anxiety decreases, some emotions are replaced by others. After the trip, the person will return renewed, with completely different thoughts. Sometimes this is enough to make the right decision.

Thus, the humiliation of a person is a serious problem that often takes place. What is important here is how the personality itself will behave: will it allow the offenders to continue to destroy itself or will it protect the inner space in every possible way from third-party negative encroachments.

Humiliation as a personality trait is a persistent tendency to put someone in a humiliating position; belittle someone's dignity, offend someone's pride.

Pigeons during the Great Patriotic War not only delivered letters, but also morally humiliated the fascist invaders along the way.

One day a poor poet was sitting next to a rich man. The rich man was dissatisfied with the fact that some unknown young man was sitting next to him, and in order to humiliate him, he asked: - Well, tell me, what separates you from the donkey? He, with a glance, measuring the distance separating them from each other, answered: - A little! Just two steps.

Humiliation is the desire to trample on another person, to level him with dust under his feet. Inclined to humiliate, always aggressive. The desire to humiliate another comes from pride. If pride has been registered in a person, in order to feed it, he begins to humiliate people.

Even without being rancorous, a person never forgets those who tried to humiliate him. Anatoly Rybakov writes in “Children of the Arbat”: “Everything can be forgotten: insults, insults, injustices, but not a single person forgets humiliation, this is in human nature. Animals chase each other, fight, kill, eat, but do not humiliate. Only people humiliate each other. And not a single person will forget his humiliation, and he will never forgive the one before whom he humiliated himself. On the contrary, he will always hate him.

Loved ones are not humiliated. Humiliate the unloved, despised and disrespected. Whoever does not respect himself attracts humiliation.

They humiliate in order to escape from complexes, to assert themselves and justify themselves. For example, the husband went to the left. The feeling of guilt before his wife makes him humiliate an innocent woman. In the humiliation of his wife, he finds ground for self-justification.

There is a vicious pattern - we humiliate those before whom we feel guilty. A husband usually begins to humiliate his wife when she has a "muzzle in fluff" herself. He feels guilty before his wife and this is expressed, paradoxically, in her humiliation. For no reason, she suddenly becomes a prostitute. You can not go to your grandmother to come to the conclusion: look for a woman, if she humiliates, then she compares, which means there is someone to compare with.

The vast majority of brutal men are not really brutal, but only hide self-doubt and various other complexes under such a mask. At the same time, they are so afraid of being exposed that they are ready to humiliate and insult their other half, so that she does not find out the truth about them.

No one escaped meeting those who wished to humiliate others. Humiliating the dignity of others, boor feels pleasure. Rudeness and cruelty are united by the pleasure of humiliating another. Often an insecure person seeks confirmation of his own importance in the outside world through boorish and arrogant behavior. To this end, he can humiliate others, behave aggressively. Boars and impudent people are insecure people. In order to somehow assert themselves, to prove to themselves their importance, they begin to show arrogance and rudeness through the humiliation of others.

Enemies often try to humiliate, disgrace and defame us. In such situations, the immature person feels dishonored. A mature person, having a pure consciousness, never loses respect for himself. He is confident in his value. Someone tried to humiliate and smear you, this is his problem and his karma. The one who humiliates will be humiliated.

A good person cannot be tarnished. He cannot be humiliated. You can only humiliate and tarnish yourself. Spottedness and humiliation come from the outside in the form of people's opinions, assessments, labels. A pure person can fold under the influence of external circumstances if he attaches excessive importance to other people's assessments. However, if he is self-sufficient, mature and whole, human subjective assessments will not touch him at all. Until a person humiliates himself, does not stain himself, no one can reliably do this for him. The soul is not a closet in which one can trace with dirty boots. A pure soul cannot be humiliated or stained. It can be conditioned by vices, subjected to bad influence, but it is impossible to uproot the energy of eternity, knowledge and bliss from the soul.

Despotism can be the cause of humiliation. The despot loves to humiliate his woman in front of friends and acquaintances, he is arrogant and devoid of the slightest sign of respect for his family members. Throwing objects, assault (without serious consequences), threats of physical violence, accompanied by insults - a characteristic set of methods of despotic influence on family members.

Recognizing the effectiveness of demonstrativeness, the despot arranges demonstrative representations that he does not need anyone. It happens that a despot does not even pay attention when other men offend and humiliate his woman. So he intimidates the woman, demonstrating that she will lose her physical protection if she behaves incorrectly. It's almost impossible to please him.

A person with low self-esteem begins to humiliate others. Thus he illusory self-affirms. His demonstration of superiority is nothing more than an attempt to hide inner insecurity and lack of inner merit. He tries to cover his weakness with the thought that others are weaker than him. Instead of overcoming the weakness, he drives it even deeper inside.

A fool is envious of his elders, boasts to his equals, and humiliates his younger ones. Henry Thomas Buckle writes: "Whoever grovels before the highest, he himself tramples those who are below him."

By humiliating others, you humiliate yourself. Humiliation is not one-sided. Scandal, for example, humiliates both. It is impossible to humiliate a person and at the same time remain white and fluffy. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi said: “It has always remained a mystery to me how people consider it an honor for themselves to humiliate their fellow citizens.”

He who loves to humiliate others often resorts to ridicule. Mocking as a personality trait - a tendency to humiliate the dignity of other people with unfriendly humorous speech or behavior, exposing them in an unsightly way, to show a steady desire to laugh at the shortcomings and weaknesses of other people .

Deciding to publicly humiliate the poet for ridicule, long-term evil jokes, the emir called his courtiers, seated them in the hall of the palace, and ordered the poet to sit in the most honorable place. The servant placed in front of each bundle with gift clothes. The bundle placed in front of the poet was larger than the others, and its wrapper was embroidered with gold. Like everyone else, the poet unfolded his bundle, but it turned out not to be a silk robe, like the others, but a donkey saddle. The courtiers laughed. But the poet did not change his face, he began to joyfully thank Allah and praise the emir's generosity. One of those present shouted to him: - Unfortunate, why are you happy? From such humiliation you should cry! - Wrong! - answered the poet - There was a rumor among the people that the emir was offended by me, but now it is clear to everyone that this rumor is wrong. On the contrary, His Highness is especially favorable to me. What did you all get? Regular gifts! And Mr. Emir granted me my own clothes!

Where there is humiliation, there is invariably an insult.

“I was just insulted and humiliated by a pharmacist,” the sobbing woman told her husband. The angry husband rushed to the pharmacy to defend the honor of his wife. - You must listen to me! pleaded the pharmacist. My alarm didn't ring and I overslept. Jumping out of the house, I slammed the door, forgot the keys to the house and the car, and I had to break the window to get them. And then I got a flat tire. When I finally got to the pharmacy, a line had already gathered in front of it, and the phone rang and rang. Bending down to collect the fallen coins, I hit my head on the box and fell, breaking the display case. And the phone kept ringing. I picked up the phone, and then your wife asked how to use a rectal thermometer. I swear I just told her how!

Humiliation is a form of bullying another person. Mahatma Gandhi writes: “We are all made of the same dough, we are all children of the same Creator, and the divine powers in us are limitless. To bully a human being means to bully these divine forces and thereby cause harm not only to this creature, but to the whole world. It has always been a mystery to me how people can consider it an honor to humiliate their neighbor.

One day a man came to Buddha and spat in his face. The Buddha wiped his face and asked, "Is that all, or do you want something else?" Ananda saw everything and naturally became furious. He jumped up and, seething with anger, exclaimed: - Teacher, just let me, and I'll show him! He needs to be punished!

Ananda, that poor fellow has already suffered too much. Just look at his face, his bloodshot eyes! Surely he did not sleep all night and was tormented before deciding on such an act. Spitting at me is the outcome of this madness. This could be a release! Be compassionate towards him. You can kill him and become as crazy as he is!

The man heard the entire dialogue. He was confused and puzzled. The Buddha's reaction was a complete surprise to him. He wanted to humiliate, insult the Buddha, but, having failed, he felt humiliated. It was so unexpected - the love and compassion shown by the Buddha! Buddha told him: - Go home and rest. You look bad. You've already punished yourself enough. Forget about this incident; it didn't hurt me. This body is made of dust. Sooner or later it will turn to dust and people will walk on it. They will spit on him; it will undergo many transformations.

The man cried, wearily got up and left. In the evening he came back, fell at the feet of the Buddha and said: - Forgive me! The Buddha said, “There is no question of me forgiving you because I was not angry. I didn't judge you. But I am happy, immensely happy to see that you have come to your senses and that the hell you have been in has ended. Go in peace and never fall into that state again!

Petr Kovalev 2016