How to get rid of negative feelings? How to get rid of feelings. Why get rid of? How to get rid of feelings of love

Guilt sits deep in the unconscious of many of us, lives its own life there and prevents us from being happy. Often we do not even realize that we carry this beast in us, ignoring the signals of pain and fear that it sends us.

How to realize in time that you are infected with this virus and how to get rid of guilt forever and ever?

Previously, I always believed that my reaction to the emerging conflict was only a desire to make amends for it. But, looking a little deeper into the essence of things, I realized that in fact I was afraid. I was afraid to enter into a discussion, I was afraid to spoil the impression about myself, I was afraid to say and do something wrong, incorrectly, for which I would then have to look for all sorts of excuses for a long time, and first of all for myself.

It seemed to me that people were attacking me - I immediately began to panic and it seemed as if I was pressed against the wall and the oxygen was cut off. I tried to defend myself, but it only made things worse.

The guilt intensified, my consciousness was deafened, dulled and transferred to a completely different reality, where I imagined myself as a small defenseless creature, and the big people around me scolded me for simply wanting too much to seem good.

And no matter what words I managed to squeeze out of myself at that moment - everything said, in any case, was directed and used against me. It all ended, already so familiar, tantrums and tears.

Having gone a long way of continuous "self-digging" in the corners, I realized that it was the feeling of guilt that guided me. And with the advent of understanding, questions began to come.

I asked myself:

• How to become free from guilt?
• How to get rid of life poisoning unpleasant sensations?
• How to behave in order to experience such situations with pride and carry your dignity through them?
• Where do you get the strength to openly look into the eyes of fear and not run away, not hide, not get scared, but skillfully stand up for yourself, respectfully accepting your feelings?

Indeed, in essence, in such a pursuit from oneself it is impossible to win, except to hide for a while, after which the path to liberation will only become longer.

Each time such situations arose and guilt arose, I tried to carefully monitor my reactions, impressing myself with new principles, like prayers.

It is very important to be honest with yourself and let these beliefs into the most painful depths, into the longest and most unpleasant corridors of consciousness.

You should completely turn your thoughts around and make them work differently, unconditionally accepting the essence of the new principles.

How can you get rid of guilt. Psychology

And here's what I got - my new beliefs:

• The reaction of the interlocutor is his own business

I relieve myself of responsibility for incorrect, at my discretion, perception by the opponent. His anger, defensive reaction, aggression, protest - all this does not concern me. I should not feel guilty about the fact that a person misinterprets constructive comments or criticism in his head, falling into a rage and losing control of his emotions. Moreover, you still won’t get into the head of another person, maybe he really got very upset or angry, or maybe he just has a bad mood because of the rain, a toothache or other reasons. Feelings are a personal private territory that everyone must manage on their own.

• I make mistakes and that's ok

We all make mistakes and sometimes we don't even know it. And feeling guilty about it is an unforgivable luxury. We must allow ourselves to them, because this is a normal, natural process that indicates that we are trying and trying. Making mistakes is normal, it's better than sitting and doing nothing. Stagnation in one place is a much more terrible thing, although it saves us from mistakes and from any external reactions in principle.

• People make mistakes through no fault of mine

It is important to set limits for yourself - "yours" and "mine". If you take someone else's negative behavior and reactions too close to your heart, you can put on your shoulders a heavy ballast of other people's mistakes and on top one more in the form of responsibility for them. And what about being more attentive to yourself and your life, because you can’t change other people, and is it worth it? But changing yourself is a much more rewarding occupation.

• There are many things in the world that I can't

Live and learn! And the calmness with which you should accept that something is not working out for you and you do not know how and do not know what to do is one of the most important parts of this life learning. Accept yourself for who you are to permanently get rid of the guilt that arises every time you do something that is not quite perfect.

• My behavior will not deprive me of the love and respect of others

You don't have to pretend to be "good" to earn happiness. We are all deserving of it. If someone thinks badly of you - let them! This is his opinion, and it is not for us to condemn or challenge him. But to make such conclusions quickly and on the basis of some single actions, to put it mildly, is not reasonable. After all, the one with whom we know well will never change his attitude towards us in one moment. Perhaps he will be offended, but his good attitude will not instantly “vanish”.

Friends, you need to understand the main thing - love, respect for others and a good attitude towards you - feelings are long-term and do not quickly pass from one incorrectly expressed thought or deed. And you should not try your best to deserve universal love. You are either loved or not. Why try to please everyone, while ignoring your own desires and urges?

Now I don’t justify myself to anyone and I don’t take offense at anyone. I don’t even want to seem “good” in front of someone. After a deep study of the above principles, conflict and tense situations began to rapidly disappear from my life and finally left it completely.

Instead, new, previously unknown feelings came to me. Instead of feeling guilty, I filled my body and soul with the warmth that I try to share with others. Now I no longer feel small and defenseless, but on the contrary, a confident and worthy companion.

I play by my own rules and am not afraid to take the initiative to end the conversation and get rid of accusers if the situation calls for it. I respect myself and others, and no matter what difficulties get in my way, I overcome them with nobility and ease.

I would be glad if these principles help you. get rid of guilt and break free from your own limits! The main thing is to be honest with yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

Love yourself and do not blame anything!

Alena Golovina

Interesting

It happens that you suffer from unrequited love or that a loved one unexpectedly decides to leave you. How to get rid of love for a person that gives you nothing more than some suffering? Where to put your feelings and how to turn this page of your personal life?

Although they say that no one knows what love is, in fact this is not so, and psychologists have long considered it to be something like a sudden mental disorder.

Indeed, euphoria is replaced by depression, a feeling of strength is replaced by complete passivity, peace - unrest. If you describe all the signs abstractly, then any neuropathologist can qualify such a condition as acute psychosis and offer to undergo a course of treatment.

Unfortunately, if it comes to anyone's mind to treat falling in love, then only when it has passed into its neglected phase and the treatment has almost no success.

That is why, if you want to get rid of a feeling of love that does not bring you joy, it is better not to start the process and take up work immediately after breaking up.

How to get rid of unrequited love

Try to understand the problem from the logical side. What do you get by falling in love, are there any advantages to this feeling? After all, in any scenario, even when love is mutual, it brings nothing but unrest. Lovers periodically quarrel, it overwhelms you with negative emotions, but is it worth making your peace of mind dependent on another person?

The heaviest form of slavery is voluntary slavery. Isn't this the form of painful love? You have to spend a lot of nerves and strength, not to mention time, to get rid of love, and what could you get in return, even if this person stayed with you, his indifference?

Look carefully at the object of your passion. Doesn't he have flaws? And over the years, they will only become more noticeable.

The vaccination method works great when it comes to love. In other words, in order not to become seriously ill with love, allow yourself to break away from time to time. Start a small romance, and as soon as it starts to move into a serious phase.

Cut it off mercilessly. After several such experiments, you can be sure that you are reliably insured against love. Just try not to overdo it, because in large doses the medicine can become poison.

Method One: Activity Distraction

Often, people make the mistake of trying to get rid of love and engaging in self-hypnosis such as: “I don’t love him (her) anymore”, “I won’t think about him (her)”, “I’m not interested in anything that is with him (her) ) is connected”, etc. And such auto-training leads to the opposite result.

A person literally zombifies himself with such thoughts, since these attitudes make him return again and again to the memories of the moments experienced and everything connected with them.

Therefore, you should switch your attention and engage in useful activities so that there is no free time left. Go in for sports - physical activity is good for "nothing to think about." In addition, change hobbies, go to the pool, visit cultural places, go on a business trip to another city or abroad, etc.

Method Two: Not Quality, but Quantity

This method is mandatory. Its essence is as follows: start an affair with a man, and preferably not with one. Firstly, among several applicants there are more chances to choose a worthy one, and secondly, this will significantly increase self-esteem and you will gain a lot of positive emotions. Moreover, as practice shows, this method, especially in conjunction with the first, is quite easy, and most importantly, effective.

Third method: "Obsessiveness"

This is a backup way to get rid of love in case the first ones did not help. Obsession consists in the following: to get enough of the image of the "beloved" to such an extent that he is tired of it. To do this, paste his photos everywhere, if possible, listen to his voice until you get bored and want to get rid of him.

Method Four: Shock

A powerful method that turns the object of unhappy love into an antipathetic character. To do this, you need to imagine the image of the “beloved”, and then convince the brain, mocking the image, so that the object of love turns into an ugly repulsive character. This will help you get rid of the feeling of love.

Photoshop will come to the aid of a weak imagination. Mock the photo, and hang the result on the wall and look at it often. To enhance the effect, you can write down on paper all the negative character traits and also re-read them. Imagine various situations and how ugly, unworthy and vulgar your “beloved” could act in them.

And most importantly, remember that the light of the wedge has not converged on anyone, and ahead of you is a mutual wonderful feeling with a worthy person.

How to stop thinking about your loved one when a breakup occurs:

It is very difficult to experience a break with a loved one, especially since this pain is not treated with medications. But we are able to get rid of love and survive everything ourselves, we always have the strength to make our lives better. It is clear that only time can fully change our thoughts, but we must help it and stop thinking about a person. Forgive this person, tell him “thank you”, because it was he who showed you what you are capable of for the sake of love;

Forgive and let go, which means remove everything that reminds you of him out of sight. Yes, he is not with you, but he is alive, he is not crippled, and that's great. After all, you are also alive, and you can be happy at any moment you want;

You should not plunge headlong into work, it’s still of little use, it’s better now to spend a lot of free time on yourself: fitness, beautician, stylist, new friends, trips to amazing places. The surest way to get rid of love and stop thinking about a person is to become the object of a new love. Start attracting her from now on;

Be with loved ones. Your depression has alienated the people closest to you, made you cold. Return warmth to your heart and give it to parents and children;

Don't you dare feel sorry for yourself. You are not disabled. You are a beautiful creature, made for love. To stop thinking about a person, surround yourself with beautiful things, pleasant aromas and interesting people.

Only time will help get rid of unrequited love, not without reason there is a saying “time heals”. Until a certain period of time has passed, for all people it takes different time periods, you cannot completely forget about it.

However, you can help yourself with this, try to get rid of all things that may remind you of your loved one, photos, things, gifts. Talk to your loved ones and ask them to remind you of him. Try to avoid going to places you've been together.

It helps a lot to get rid of love and stop thinking about a person, the motivation to start living in a new way, so to speak, from scratch. You need to change something in your daily life, in your image. Try to change your hairstyle, maybe dye your hair, buy new clothes, engage in self-knowledge and development, go in for sports, sports are great for healing mental wounds, and are also a good help for forming a new life. In the classroom, you will probably meet a new person who will help you forget about your sorrows.

You can safely take care of yourself during this period, think about what you like to do most of all, think about what gives you joy. And allow yourself to deliver these joys. When you become more confident in yourself, you will see that others are looking at you and you will understand that you attract and enchant them.

And when the question of how to stop thinking about your beloved will not bother you, you will begin a new full life, with useful experience behind you.

What to do if you are overwhelmed with feelings:

To stop thinking about a person in this case is not an easy task. It's so wonderful to just lie on the bed and remember the sweetest moments with your loved one. Oh! How many fantasies arise in the head, the soul sings! And everything is collapsing around: the dishes are not being washed, the work is standing, the cat is hungry ... Something is also not very good ... Since you are so inspired and feel that you can do everything, make a list of necessary things and start doing what you are reluctant to do now. The time before meeting with your loved one will pass faster and more profitably, and you will be able to stop thinking about the person for a while;

In moments of spiritual flight from love, we are able to do a lot in our lives, do not miss this opportunity. From time to time, your thoughts will still return to the object of your love, but how much can you do for him, for yourself, for loved ones and become even better in the eyes of your loved one.

Many people around the world like to change their lives at the beginning of the new year: for example, breaking old love relationships and finding new ones, but for this you must first get rid of love addiction. Here are 4 effective ways to get rid of feelings for another person.

1. Even the wise Ovid in his poem "The Art of Love" advised: "With a quick movement of the mind, cast aside the object of your passion in order to overthrow the heavy yoke that promises oppression." Having taken the position of an outside observer, try to concentrate not only on the merits, but also on the shortcomings of the object of your adoration. By the way, the French psychologist Jean Piaget saved one of his patients from love obsession, requiring her to burn all the letters and photographs of her beloved, and then remember in great detail about all, even the most insignificant of his shortcomings, and then skillfully inflated them to the size of vices.

2. To get rid of love addiction, sometimes it is enough just to realize that this feeling is not love, but something akin to illness. And then everything will turn upside down: the slave of love will begin to come to his senses. Our thinking determines our feelings and actions. And if a woman thinks that this is love and that there is no love without suffering, then she continues to suffer, sacrificing herself to this painful feeling. If she understands that this is not love, but a special, simply unhealthy addiction, then she will act accordingly.

3. You should not cherish your suffering. You need to avoid everything that causes any association with the subject of sighing: the films that you watched together, his favorite tunes and songs, even mutual friends and acquaintances. It will only benefit you.

4. Do not reject help - do not prevent your relatives, friends and acquaintances from scolding the heartthrob in your presence, let them slander him. So you will gradually begin to accustom yourself to the fact that he simply is not worth all your suffering.

5. Try to organize your day so that you do not have time for love dreams. And if thoughts about your unearthly love attack you before going to bed, distract yourself from them by switching your attention to a simple but very effective massage. In a state of complete rest and maximum muscle relaxation, without pressing hard, massage with the index and thumb of the so-called. a harmonizing point located approximately in the middle of the ear. At the same time, the action of self-massage for right-handers will be more effective on the right side, and for left-handers, respectively, on the left. Beforehand, you can put on your fingers 1-2 drops of geranium, lavender, orange or cinnamon oil, diluted in 1-2 teaspoons of olive oil.

Evgeny Tarasov

Love does not always happen to the person who deserves it. And it happens that we understand that love is not mutual, and it's time to shake things up, learn to live without this sick love. But it's not so easy to do it. How to get rid of feelings? How to become stronger and live on? Let's think about what other, successful people are treated with.

get distracted

If thoughts about a loved one overcome, it is better to try to think about something else. We ourselves do not notice how we scroll through the same event in our heads, diving into the bowels of memory and delving into self-consciousness. The more you think about what excites you, the more emotional awe you experience. With such thoughts, you only warm up love, which is better to get rid of.

How to kill feelings? Get distracted by something that can bring impressions.

• You can become a volunteer, participate in charity
• You can ride a motorcycle or go to the circus
• Meet friends and spend time near the lake
• Ride on carousels

There are a lot of options that you can think of. The main thing is that you have something to think about, there was food for memories - exciting and not related to the subject of love.

Workout

You will not believe, but a huge number of people have solved their mental problems with the help of sports. The most preferred form can be considered running. It's like airing your head: run in the fresh air, think about proper breathing and imagine how the stubborn image disappears from your head and disappears.

Thus, you will kill two birds with one stone: use auto-training in the fight against unnecessary feelings and become healthier. Physical activity will not become superfluous, they will only give you a pleasant muscle fatigue and add a desire to live.

Get down to business

Since you need to get rid of feelings forever, take on long-term projects. Those people who have experienced a breakup or non-reciprocal love fall into two categories. Some become eternally dissatisfied with life. Others become workaholics and often financially independent, even rich people.

When love occupies all thoughts, we become stupid, stop striving for heights. Therefore, it is better to replace unproductive dreams in your head with a clearly outlined project. Set unbearable tasks, the more feelings and joy you will experience if you achieve a result. And then you will be surprised to think that you don’t really want to dream and remember the relationship that didn’t work out.

How to kill feelings if a person is nearby

If your love is with you in the same team, it will be more difficult. A girl who loves a guy who sits in the third class in economics classes will constantly think about him. Here it is better to act tougher - to refuse these classes, to attend them at another time. No need to pretend that you do not notice him and defiantly look in the other direction. It's always noticeable.

If it is impossible to refuse classes, go the other way. Prepare well for textbooks. Teach, cram the topic at home, get ahead of yourself. Then it will be much more interesting for you to listen to the teacher. You will become more significant not only in your own eyes, but also in the eyes of those who are not indifferent.

If you are a guy, try all of the above. No need to try to find love to spite her, sorting through the girls. So you will only make your own tormented soul worse.

If you don't do anything to get better, it will get easier with time. It is only important to go through the most painful stage without loss, acquiring something for which you will be grateful only to yourself.

"Conscious Innocence: Paradise Newfound" by Osho.

So many techniques have been developed, so many books have been written about forgiveness, about getting rid of guilt, and people continue to experience guilt again and again. It seems to be receding, it seems to be no more. And then it pops up again. What is this feeling? Dangerous, exhausting, taking away all strength and health, attracting misfortune and suffering? Let's figure it out together.

And I have a question:

Is there such a feeling?

Again and again I ask clients to feel it and tell what it is, where it is.

It does not appear in the body. Many notice: "So it is in the head." In the head - in the mind!

“Guilty” is a thought, interpretation, an idea in which a person believes, and it becomes his reality.

As such, "guilt" does not exist. There is an idea that "I am to blame."

When the client enters a situation where he experiences "guilt" and begins to carefully observe his reactions, he discovers fear, and all the sensations that accompany it.

And it’s not “guilt” that pops up again and again, but fear. And the techniques of forgiveness cannot be freed from it.

And many realize that what they really want to get rid of is not guilt, but this fear. Fear does not give rest. And someone notices that he felt the most guilt for this very fear, for his “cowardice”. After all, it is “impossible” to be afraid, “shameful”, especially for boys.

It would seem that such a simple understanding was revealed, and thanks to it, so many problems ceased to be “insoluble”. Especially indicative, with dependencies.

As soon as the basic fear goes away, and with it the "guilt feeling", the internal war stops, and the addiction itself easily and quietly (imperceptibly) goes away.

"The deeper you go into your fear, the less you find it. When you touch the deepest bottom of fear, you just laugh - there is nothing to be afraid of. And when fear disappears, innocence remains. This is the only miracle in existence" Osho.

Some are worried and wonder - how is it to plunge into fear to the bottom, what if you stay there?

You won't stay. When you enter into fear, that is, you allow it to be, you will see what it really is. It's just a vibration of energy. What is terrible about the waves of energy and sensations flowing through your body? It is necessary to allow this energy to transform and order itself. And you just watch what is happening.

That's all it takes.

I wish you to meet your feelings and find integrity. I wish you to be sincerely surprised at how simple it turns out to be.