Etiquette and rules of conduct for children at the table. Rules for the behavior of children at the table


For 7 centuries in a row it has been believed that the main indicator of a person's upbringing is his ability to behave at the table. The word "etiquette" originated during the reign of the world famous French king Louis XIV. Guests invited to his banquet received a label card in their hands, on which they signed the rules of conduct. The word "etiquette" came from the name of this very card. In this article, we will take a closer look at modern rules of etiquette at the table with a photo.

There are two main ways to use cutlery:

  1. Continental(common in Asian and European countries): the knife and fork should be kept in hand until the meal is over.
  2. American, according to which it is permissible to put the knife aside if you are not going to use it temporarily (in this case, it is placed on a serving plate with the tip inward, with the handle on the edge).

Consider the classic version table etiquette how to use cutlery. The main points are presented below:

  1. How to use forks:
  • if the fork is long, it has 4 cloves, and it lies to the left of the plate, then this is a dinner fork - you need to eat the main course with it (the snack fork looks exactly the same, but its size is much smaller - you need to choose it when you are served cold appetizers) ;
  • a fork with 4 cloves and recesses, which is somewhat shorter in length than a dining fork, is used to eat fish dishes (the cloves are designed to separate the bones from the meat);
  • the dessert fork is thin and small, instead of 4 cloves it has 3;
  • there is also a special fork to eat fruit, it does not look like a dessert fork, but it does not have 3 cloves, but 2.
  1. How to use spoons:
  • a large tablespoon, lying to the right of the serving plate, is designed to eat soups and other liquid hot dishes with it;
  • a dessert spoon is designed to eat gluten-free sweet dishes that do not need to be cut with a knife (it has a long handle and a small cup);
  • a teaspoon is served exclusively with hot tea, and a coffee spoon (it is the smallest) is only served with black coffee.

  1. How to use knives:
  • a knife that is turned with a blade to the plate, in addition, it is located on the right - this is a device designed to eat second hot dishes;
  • the fish knife is blunt, it looks more like a “shovel”, its purpose is not to cut, but to hold the fish in order to remove bones from it with a fork;
  • the knife for snacks and desserts has a small shape, in addition, it has teeth on the blade.

If you can’t keep all this information in your head, then remember one secret how to use cutlery: they are always placed on the table in the order in which they need to be used. Always take the most extreme devices initially. After you finish your first course, these utensils will be taken away from you along with an empty plate.

Now let's figure out what to do with appliances after eating according to the rules of etiquette at the table:

  • if you have already finished eating, you need to fold the fork and knife so that they are parallel to each other with cloves and point up (fork on the left, and knife on the right);
  • if you are delighted with the dish you have eaten and want to signal this, it is not necessary to run to the chef, place the knife and fork on the plate parallel to each other, but so that the cloves are directed to the right (the fork must be placed on top, and the knife under it) - the waiter will see this and convey your admiration to the author of the culinary masterpiece;
  • if you decide to pause during the meal, then place the fork and knife on the plate with the tip to each other (outwardly, it should look like the fork and knife form the letter “L”);
  • if you have finished the first dish and are waiting for the second, place the knife on the plate so that its blade is directed to the left, and place the fork perpendicular to the knife with the teeth up.

How to behave at the table in a restaurant: rules of etiquette

In public establishments, such as a restaurant, you need to behave accordingly. Be sure to check in advance basic rules of table etiquette in a restaurant, so that you are perceived as a person from high society:

  1. If a man invited a woman to dinner, he must enter the restaurant first. If there is a porter in the restaurant at the entrance, then the man is obliged to let the lady go forward, help her take off her outer clothes, take her to the table, ask her where she wants to sit, move the chair back so that the lady sits on it.
  2. The man should sit either in front of the lady, or on the left side of her.
  3. Dinner must be ordered by the person who initiated it. Usually it's a man. He can only offer the woman to choose something from what he personally chose. According to table etiquette, girl she should not be capricious, talk about her illnesses, that she went on a diet or became a vegetarian. It is necessary to politely choose something from what her companion offers her.

  1. A person sitting at a table in a restaurant should watch their posture. The back should be even, but at the same time it should not seem from the outside that you are uncomfortable. Be at ease, confident, but do not relax.
  2. Immediately place a napkin on your lap to sit on your serving plate.
  3. If it so happened that you were brought a dish earlier than your companion, do not start eating it. Wait until the food is served to all participants in the meal.
  4. If a woman has made up lips, then she needs to go to the ladies' room to get rid of lipstick, because traces of it on the dishes are considered a sign of bad taste. And in general, any hygiene procedures at the restaurant table cannot be done. For these purposes, go to the toilet. But before you leave the table, you need to apologize.
  5. It is not allowed to take pictures of food and drinks during a meal in a restaurant. Such behavior is considered immoral in high-level establishments.
  6. If you come across something inedible in a dish, carefully remove it from your mouth, but not with your hands, but with a spoon.
  7. If some cutlery accidentally fell from your table to the floor, you do not need to pick it up. Call the waiter and ask him to bring you others.
  8. If a very hot dish is brought to you, wait until it cools down. You can’t blow on food, serbat, and generally make some sounds in a restaurant. It's not good, according to table etiquette rules.

  1. The fork must be held with the left hand during the meal, and the knife with the right. If the dish can be eaten with an ordinary fork, nothing needs to be cut, then it can be held in the right hand.
  2. If you eat meat, then cut off one small piece from it, which you will immediately eat. Sliced ​​slices should not remain on the plate.
  3. To eat pasta, you need to use a fork. Pasta is wrapped around it. If the dish is buried in the sauce, then it is preferable to use a spoon.
  4. If there is a bread product on the plate with your dish, then you need to break off slices from it and eat them gradually. It is impossible to bite off a whole piece of bread or take it in hand.
  5. You need to chew food with your mouth completely closed.
  6. If you haven't finished your soup, it's okay. Yushka at the bottom of a soup bowl is considered the norm. If you want to finish eating, then tilt the plate away from you and scoop out the soup with a spoon.
  7. Don't lean too far over the plate. You must carefully bring the fork or spoon with food to your mouth.
  8. If you have something stuck in your mouth, do not remove anything with your hands. Use a fork, preferably at a time when no one sees it.

  1. Hide your phone somewhere so it doesn't bother you. If he calls all the time, it will look impolite. In this case, pick up the phone and ask to call you back later. Excuse yourself if you need to clear your nose or clear your throat and leave the table.
  2. Do not pass the dish, salt or pepper directly into the hands of the person who asked you for it. It will be right if you just put the item or food he needs next to his plate.
  3. Behave at the table calmly, do not gesticulate, so as not to accidentally break something.
  4. In no case should you put your elbows on the table. Hands should not touch the table at all while eating. Women are only allowed to lean slightly against the table with their hands.
  5. Bags, wallets, phones and other things should also not be left on the table.
  6. During the meal, you can communicate with a companion, but on those topics that will not provoke a scandal between you or disputes.
  7. After the meal is over, do not leave the dishes. Everything should remain on the table as it is.
  8. Do not forget to leave a tip to the waiter after dinner (this is about 10% of the total bill). If the tip is included in the amount of the check, then it is not necessary to leave additional money.

How to behave at the table at a party: rules of etiquette

When you come to someone's house, even if you were invited by your close friends, this does not mean that in this case it is not necessary to observe table etiquette rules. Be sure to show respect to the hosts and leave a good impression.

Of course, such strict requirements are not imposed on you, as in a restaurant, but a few etiquette rules, how to behave at the table while visiting, you still need to know:

  • do not sit down at the table until you are invited to do so by the owners of the house;
  • if you need some cutlery, or you are asked to pass it, remember to do this in a counterclockwise direction;
  • do not eat with your fork or spoon from a common dish, in which, for example, a salad is poured - take a special cutlery and pour the dish off your plate;
  • if the dish is far from you, do not reach for it across the entire table, but ask the person sitting next to you to serve it;
  • drink water or an alcoholic beverage only after you have completely chewed your food;
  • do not talk at the table on political or religious topics, do not discuss diseases, but do not be silent, do not force the owners of the house to entertain you;
  • do not stay at a party until late in the evening (the optimal time to stay at a party is 2-3 hours);
  • after dinner, be sure to thank the owners of the house.

How to behave at the buffet according to the rules of etiquette?

Everyone knows what a buffet is when a lot of dishes are presented, and everyone can choose whatever they want and as much as they want.

It would seem that everything is simple, but here it is necessary to observe 5 rules of table etiquette:

  1. As soon as you enter a buffet restaurant, look around to understand where and what is located. In many establishments, first courses are located separately from appetizers and desserts. Think about what you would like to eat so as not to overload the stomach with everything at once. Take the plate in your left hand, and lay everything with your right. If you need bread, then you need to take a special small plate for it.
  2. It is not allowed to appear at the buffet in a swimsuit or street clothes. An elegant dress is, of course, also not the best option for a buffet, but the fact that your appearance should be neat is unequivocal.
  3. When helping yourself to a dish, behave with restraint, do not shout, do not push, and do not make a fuss if the dish you wanted to take is over. Step aside, wait a few minutes for the waiters to bring the food you want. Try to make only one approach to the buffet.
  4. After you finish your meal, clean up after yourself. In many buffet restaurants, the waiters do not clean up after the customers.
  5. Do not try to take food from the buffet with you, unless it is provided for by the institution.

Basic rules of table etiquette for children

As soon as your child turns one year old, you can teach him the rules of table manners. At first, the baby will take an example from mom and dad, so it is important that the parents themselves behave correctly during the meal.

What should the child pay attention to:

  1. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before every meal. By the age of two, the crumbs should already develop the habit of observing the rules of hygiene.
  2. The child must know his place at the table. If he is still small, then parents need to seat him in his chair, which should correspond to the height of the common dining table. It is better to place the chair on the left side of the mother so that she can help the child when necessary.
  3. The meal should take place every day at the same time, so that the baby develops a regimen and culture of proper nutrition.
  4. Explain to the baby that you need to start eating after all family members sit down at the table, and the phrase “bon appetit” will sound.
  5. Up to three years, you need to teach a child to use a spoon, up to 5 years - a fork, and after 5 years it is already possible to explain what a knife is and how to handle it. Don't let your child dig into the food with their hands. If he can't handle the kitchen appliance, feed him yourself.

  1. Explain to the baby that you can’t play, sing, dance and talk loudly at the table, especially if your mouth is full of food. After all, it is not only indecent, but also dangerous to health.
  2. Teach your baby that everything that he poured, he must eat. You can't spit food back on your plate, as it's ugly.
  3. The kid should already know at the age of three that after a meal you need to carefully wipe your mouth with handles, and say “thank you” to the one who cooked the food.
  4. Explain to the baby that you can get up from the table only after he is allowed by adults.
  5. You can use innovative technologies in the process of teaching your child. On the Internet, you can download educational cartoons and pictures, with the help of which the child will figure out in a playful and cognitive way what to do while eating. Great way to learn rules of table etiquette - creating a presentation on this topic on a computer (suitable for you if your child is already 5 years old). So the child will be more interesting, because the craving for computer technology in modern children manifests itself at a very early age.

In the modern program of secondary educational institutions, a course is provided for schoolchildren about the rules of etiquette at the table. At the lessons, children are told about the norms of behavior in public places, and in particular, special attention is paid to the topic of how to behave at the table.

Rules of etiquette at the table in pictures

Try to follow all the recommendations that we have given you in this article if you want to be accepted as a well-mannered and cultured person in public institutions. Remember that ignorance and frivolous behavior even while eating is a sign, first of all, of disrespect for yourself, and only then for others. Therefore, behave appropriately so as not to fall "face in the dirt."

Video: "Rules of etiquette at the table"

Staying always elegant is a real art. The ability to eat beautifully is useful to any modern person who likes to leave a favorable impression. Knowing the rules of behavior and table etiquette will help you gain confidence and look decent.

The situations may vary. Settings that apply in one company or culture are definitely not appropriate for other circumstances. In parallel, there are rules of conduct at a friendly table and clear instructions for business meetings over lunch. It is not enough to simply use a fork and knife, you need to control yourself in any situation. Etiquette at the aristocratic festive table is absolutely inapplicable on a hike or a road diner. It is important to see the situation, to feel the situation, to understand others.

Table etiquette changes in different cultures, circumstances, companies. Somewhere, the ability to flawlessly dispose of several dozen knives, spoons, forks or other utensils will not come in handy at all. What does not exist in table etiquette is blind obedience to each item - you need self-control and a clear understanding of your actions. A sense of proportion will tell you how to behave. The rules must be observed wisely: for etiquette, one does not need to have manners at the common table, which are characteristic of a prim lady of the royal court.

How to behave at the table in a formal setting

Table etiquette at official receptions is individual for different countries. General rules will help you enjoy food confidently and it is far from always necessary to be able to use a fork and knife. It is very important to show respect for the people around you. The basic rules of correct behavior at the table are necessary initially for the manifestation of one's attitude towards others.

For eating at the table for official meetings, the rules of etiquette provide for some formalities:

  • Posture. A flat back allows you to look confident, palms are at a convenient distance for using a fork and knife. You can't lean on the table. It is possible for women to lean on one elbow for a short time. A man should not touch the edges of the table during the entire meal.
  • Do not lean too far towards the plate and spread your elbows.
  • No need to reach for your favorite dish across the entire table. You can politely ask for food to be handed over.
  • Dishes at the table are passed from left to right.
  • Eat at a leisurely pace, in small portions.
  • It is not customary to blow on hot dishes. You can wait a bit for the food to cool down on its own.
  • Eating should be done quietly so as not to spoil others.
  • Before taking a sip of water or a drink, it is worth swallowing all the food and blotting your lips with a napkin so as not to stain the rim of the glass.
  • Sitting down at the table with a cigarette means demonstrating your disrespect for others.
  • It's not nice to tilt the soup bowl, you can just leave some liquid at the bottom. After eating, put the spoon on the plate.
  • If you need to move away from the table, you should inform those present about it.
  • Etiquette for modern rules of conduct suggests the need to show respect at the table to the hosts of the evening. Their home-cooked specialties are a must-try. You should start eating only after the owners.
  • Don't pick at your plate, put aside the best bits, or show that you don't like the food.
  • It is ugly to share a glass with a neighbor, to take food from his plate, even with a close acquaintance.

Cutlery and napkins

Table etiquette provides for some. There are two ways to handle a knife and fork: classical and American. According to the first, the knife and fork should be held in the hands until the dish is eaten. In the American way, it is allowed to put an unnecessary knife on a plate.

Used utensils should not be placed on the table so as not to stain the tablecloth. They should be left on the plate. The crossed fork and knife signal to the waiter that the guest has not finished with the dish yet. To change the plate, you need to put the devices in parallel.

The fork and knife should be used silently, avoiding grinding. It is ugly when pieces of food or splashes fly around. Chicken Kiev or other "dangerous" dishes should be carefully pierced with a fork so that the juice flows out. It is unacceptable to eat with a knife. It is intended only for cutting the dish.

Cutlery is common and individual. Shared utensils are designed to put dishes on a plate, and are located to the right of the dish in which the food was served. The spoon is designed to scoop up food, and the fork to support the selected piece of food. After use, they are left in a common plate for the next guest.

Table etiquette provides some rules for using napkins:

  • The linen napkin should be on your knees. It should be deployed silently.
  • You should not put a napkin on the table, tie it around your neck and generally place it somewhere above your knees.
  • After eating or before each sip from the glass, wipe oily lips.
  • Ladies with painted lips should use disposable paper napkins.
  • If you need to go out, leave the napkin on the chair. After the end of the evening, it should be put on the edge of the table next to your plate.
  • It is unacceptable to wipe the served cutlery with a napkin. This is a hint of the uncleanliness of the owners.

Table conversations and manners

The rules of conduct at the table involve communication between the participants in the meal. Do not hide from guests, it looks impolite. Good manners according to the rules of etiquette is, first of all, an attempt by your presence to create a calm environment for eating. It is worth being attentive to the neighbors. You need to make sure that the people sitting next to you do not need to convey anything and do not forget to keep the conversation going.

The culture of behavior at the table implies a certain etiquette of communication during meals. Difficult conversations, quarrels, showdown should be postponed for another occasion. When eating at a common table, you must follow the correct rules of conduct. The conversation should be relaxed, easy, showing respect for the participants.

  • It is unacceptable to read a book, get a phone or tablet at the table. Painting is also not recommended.
  • If children participate in the meal, it is necessary to explain to them how to behave at the table, and what etiquette is. The younger members of the meal should only speak if asked. It is impossible to interfere in the conversation of adults, be capricious, play with food. It is unacceptable for children to be present when discussing topics that are not intended for them. It is worth remembering the little participants in the feast when talking about personal relationships, emotional conversations.
  • A good tone at a dinner party or dinner implies certain rules of etiquette when talking. It is necessary to look directly into the eyes when talking. Looking away is impolite.
  • The protruding little finger is no longer very consistent with modern etiquette and is a sign of affectation. This is a relic of those times when it was considered aesthetic to take food with the index, middle and thumb, setting aside the rest.
  • Separately, it can be said about the attitude towards the waiters. A truly cultured person can be seen in communication with the staff. Petty nit-picking, raising your voice, and even more so scandals with waiters, speak of a guest's poor upbringing. If a dirty appliance or an insufficiently hot dish is served, you can report this in a calm tone without dropping your dignity.
  • After the meal is over, praise the chef. If you don't like the food, you can always find something positive.

Beverages

Etiquette at the table is also important in consumption. The glass should be held by the leg with your fingers so as not to stain the shiny walls with greasy fingers. So you can enjoy the taste of the drink without changing its temperature. Wine glass must be filled to half. These are not only the rules of table etiquette - empty space allows you to fully enjoy the aroma of grapes. At receptions, drinks are served on trays by waiters. The glass is held in the hands until it is empty. To get rid of empty dishes, you can use a special table.

The coffee cup should be held by the handle with two fingers. This will help you avoid getting burned by the hot drink. At the tea table, it is also worth remembering what cultural behavior and table etiquette are. You can’t blow on a hot drink, you need to drink silently. It is worth stirring the tea without touching the edge of the cup with a spoon, so as not to make unnecessary sounds. If the drink spilled on the saucer, you must ask the waiter to replace the dishes.

The peculiarity of table etiquette when drinking alcohol is in its obligatory attention to the interlocutors. Topping up a drink in a glass only for yourself is a bad form. You must first ask the neighbors if they need more or another alcohol.

Additional rules of etiquette

  • Smoking at the table is allowed only in the absence of children and objections from the rest of the participants in the meal. Do not smoke before meals or while neighbors are eating. This makes it difficult to enjoy the flavor of the dish. You need to wait until the end of lunch or dinner.
  • Refusal of a dish (diet, allergies or the presence of certain beliefs) is possible with a polite explanation of the reason.
  • Food between the teeth can cause some discomfort. It should be removed away from prying eyes. You should apologize and go to the toilet.
  • Lipstick on glasses, cutlery is a bad taste. Before eating, wipe your lips with a paper towel.
  • Handbags, briefcases, umbrellas on the table can not be folded. If possible, they should be hung on the back of a chair or placed next to you on the floor.

Young parents do not always take the advice of their elders seriously in raising children, and teaching their baby the rules of behavior at the table is considered the tenth thing. So it comes down in some families to completely non-pedagogical shouts: “don’t champ, close your mouth and chew, sit up straight, don’t rock in your chair, don’t grab from the table before dinner…”. On this they consider their mission completed. And the grandmother knows for sure that in a few years parents will have to blush for such an undergrowth. Or another situation, the kid has been poking around in the soup for half an hour, choosing from there what he likes best, as a result pushing the plate away, spilling the contents on the floor, on the table and on himself ... A familiar situation? Forgivable if the child is only a year old. What if it's four or five? Where is the line between childish awkwardness and lack of good manners? And when should you start introducing your child to the basics of etiquette? Let's see what the rules of behavior for children at the table should be.

Everyone remembers a few unpleasant moments when a neighbor's teenager or a kid invited to a children's party simply disrupted lunch with their behavior. They talked loudly, stretched across the table for the best piece of cake, slurped, and even choked, not chewing food. The list of unacceptable acts is endless.

Let's protect ourselves from such behavior of a son or daughter in the future. Let's try to systematize the training of our crumbs in good manners, so that it is not burdensome either for them or for us. The best age to start training is 1.5 - 2 years. Naturally, at this age, the child will not be able to understand all the rules of adult etiquette. Yes, this is not necessary.

When to teach? Everything has its time

Table manners for kids are slightly different from adult etiquette, because many hyperactive children become little pranksters during meals. Most children learn good manners before the age of 5. But you need to start teaching a child as early as 1.5 - 2 years. Of course, there may be exceptions to the rules, but be aware that the later you start learning, the more difficult your lessons will be for your child.

We read an article on how to teach a child to eat independently and carefully -

from 1.5 to 5

  • At this age, the child is actively mastering the skills of the world around him. He absorbs everything he sees, tries to imitate adults. It's time to learn the basics of etiquette in a playful way;
  • It is mandatory to wash your hands before eating. Mom herself should not forget to wash her hands before feeding the baby. Before each meal, she should go to the bathroom with the baby and wash her hands and herself and him. Over time, it will do this automatically;
  • Feeding the baby should definitely take place at the dinner table, and not in the nursery and not in front of the TV. This will help your child to take food seriously in the future, to respect the work of those who prepare food. Put the baby on a high chair so that he does not look out from under the table, but feels like an equal member of the family;
  • Lay a linen napkin on your baby's lap. Clothes will stay clean even if the child spills soup or tea. As an adult, having a napkin in a restaurant will not put your child into a stupor;
  • Do not let the child play with food, crumble bread, spread porridge on the table. Such behavior is not permissible even at 2 years old. Try to patiently explain to the baby that it’s ugly to behave like that, that mom is ashamed of him. Mom and dad never act like that. Of course, the baby will not listen to you the first time;
  • Only one rule: never yell at him. Be patient and consistent in your demands. It is impossible today to forbid something, and tomorrow not to notice what was created by the child;
  • By the age of five, children should already be able to handle a fork and knife, while children's. They should not be confused that the knife should be held in the right hand and the fork in the left hand. By this age, you need to teach the child which foods are eaten with the help of appliances, and which ones are taken by hand.

5 to 10

The most fruitful age for education, but also the most difficult. During this period, the child does not so unconditionally trust the words of the parents. He already independently tries to understand the life and actions of the people around him.

Mom and dad should not allow any indulgence for themselves in the ritual of eating. If you teach a child not to drink juices from a package, but to pour them into a glass, it would be unacceptable to violate this rule yourself. Or just one day forget to wash your hands before dinner. Or not to thank the hostess for dinner. The child will notice this, and your words will no longer be true for him.

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At 5 - 6 years old, the baby must learn how to behave at the table and no longer violate accepted norms. Each violation must be discussed with the child at the family council. This will help him understand the seriousness of the demands of adults. But in no case should a “debriefing” be carried out in the presence of strangers, in a derogatory manner or with the help of shouting and swearing.

  • The kid already knows that you need to sit at the dining table straight, not swaying in a chair. It is unacceptable to spread your elbows and push your neighbors on the table with them. If it is difficult to enforce this rule with words, the reception with books helps a lot. During lunch, stick your child's armpit on a book and ask them to hold them until the end of the meal. A few of these exercises, and there will be no problems with the elbows;
  • The child does not allow himself to champ loudly, speak with a full mouth. It was instilled in him constantly. He also knows that you need to put small pieces of food in your mouth and chew them thoroughly;
  • The kid is holding back belching and coughing. If this is not possible, he must turn away from the table and cover his mouth with a paper napkin;
  • It will be quite natural for a child under 10 years old to know that one cannot consider himself the center of society and attract everyone's attention to his person with various loud demands. If the baby needs to move away from the table, he should ask permission from one of the parents in a quiet voice, calmly. It is not necessary for everyone to know what he wants to go to the toilet;
  • You can not reach for a plate at the other end of the table through all the dishes. The child knows that he needs to ask to put the desired piece on his plate. You can’t rummage through a common dish in search of the best piece;
  • You can sit down at the table only after adults, and get up after everyone has eaten. If you do not want to sit and listen to the conversations of adults, the child simply asks permission to leave;
  • Gratitude for lunch should definitely manifest itself in the form of a magic word “thank you”.

10 and older

You did a good job teaching your offspring excellent manners and etiquette. However, it is too early to relax. He knows what every intelligent person should know and observe. But the rules of good manners and behavior at the table are not limited to this. Ahead is the study of special cutlery that is not used daily. It would be nice to introduce your child to how to eat various exotic dishes. It will not be superfluous to have general knowledge about the food traditions of the peoples of the world.

(The picture is clickable, you can copy and print)

  1. Don't talk to your child in a didactic tone. For a better assimilation of the rules of etiquette, a game form of training is suitable. You can come up with a dinner party for dolls and bears, setting the table with toy dishes according to all adult standards. Responsible for this dinner, of course, will be your child. And you just prompt and advise in time.
  2. Be consistent and patient in your learning. Do not allow yourself to take it out on the child, even if he has done something unacceptable. Do not forget to praise and support the child for success.
  3. Involve your child in preparing dinner. Entrust him to arrange the plates, bring the bread to the table. Working together will bring together and make the baby more respectful of food and the one who cooks dinner.
  4. Call on cartoons and fairy tales that talk about the rules of etiquette to help you. Discuss with your child the scene you just saw from the movie on the topic. Don't skip real life examples. The rules of behavior at the table should be vividly woven into reality, this is not a frozen dogma.
  5. Your own example is the best lesson. Children always imitate adults. Let's use this for learning. Of course, it is not easy to always control yourself and not let you grab a piece of delicious food on the fly, but remember about the child.

Why should a child be taught etiquette?

Your efforts will not be in vain. Adult life will very soon become your baby's life. A joint lunch with a potential employer, a visit to a restaurant with a girl you like, a business dinner with partners, a corporate party ... Often the most serious conversations are held at the dinner table. We read an article with comments and experiments

Video minute: table etiquette

Psychologists say that it is necessary to teach a child the rules of etiquette at the table from early childhood: from a year to two:

How to sit at the table

Lessons in good manners. How to behave at the table? How to sit, what can and should not be done at the table? You will learn in the lessons of good manners:

How Koksik and Shunya learned the rules of table manners

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is a set of norms and rules that allow people to simplify the process of mutual communication and eating at the table. In addition, thanks to a person, he is able to master the simplest knowledge regarding the process of serving food and decorating the table.

History of table etiquette

For the first time, table etiquette was discussed in France in the 18th century. Then, in some houses, certain norms and rules were already established, which have come down to the present in a slightly modified form. It is understandable: eras changed - cultural norms and spiritual values ​​changed. Modern at the table are noticeably different from those that were adopted in the XIX century. Then all the actions and norms of human behavior at the table were regulated by rather strict rules and principles.

All cultured people were obliged to adhere to table etiquette, regardless of their political views and worldviews. Aesthetics and cultural traditions dominated the table of the 18th and 19th centuries. Table etiquette of the 21st century is based on expediency and on the mutual attention of all people sitting at the table and taking a meal. In addition, in the modern world, the norms at the table are constantly supplemented and improved. Some of them are completely abolished.

Rules of conduct at the table

Rules for choosing a seat at the table. Table etiquette rules differ depending on the status of the room and the place where the meal takes place. For example, at a home reception, household members, as a rule, should sit down at the table in the same order; at a banquet, it is customary for all invited guests to seat the hero of the occasion or toastmaster, indicating to each his place. In restaurants or cafes, table etiquette, in principle, does not regulate the choice of a particular place occupied by a visitor.

Table etiquette. The rules of behavior at the table during the meal also regulate a certain interaction of a person with dishes. First, all dishes must be clean. Secondly, plates and dishes must be taken from below, holding them with your thumb. In no case should you specifically touch food with your fingers. Cutlery should be taken only by their handles. Glasses and glasses should be taken from below, without running fingers into them.

Rules for serving guests at the table. The first to start eating are the guests sitting on the right hand of the owner of the house. Then the food is served in a circle. If this is a home reception, then the food is served by the hostess. In addition, she must ensure that the plates and guests are constantly filled with food. The hostess of the home reception also clears the dishes from the table. There is one interesting point in home dining etiquette: it is customary to offer all dishes served (except soups) to guests twice.

Sequence of food serving. Cold appetizers are served first, followed by hot appetizers. Next, you should serve the first course, consisting of soup or broth, and after - the second course, which includes fish, meat, mashed potatoes, etc. A sweet dessert is served last, or some fruit is offered, neatly sliced. This order of serving dishes is a classic and should be known to every person.

Rules at the table. It is recommended that guests at the table sit with a slight leaning forward. At the table, while talking with a neighbor, you can not raise your voice and turn around to him with your whole body. You should not pay attention only to yourself at the table - there are other people nearby. You need to keep your legs next to the chair, and not stretch them under the table, touching the legs of other diners. Only the hands should be on, not the elbows. You can not sort out the food on the plate, as well as criticize the quality of the prepared dishes and the culinary abilities of the one who prepared these dishes. It is not customary to sit at the table for a long time. Men should help ladies get up from the table.

Etiquette is the procedure for conducting a certain ceremony. However, it is worth remembering that modern etiquette is not only the rules for eating at the table, but also the ability to make a good impression on others with your appearance, manner of speaking and communicating.

The behavior of a person at the table is a whole science. All norms and rules of behavior at the table have been developed by many generations and are based, first of all, on common sense, as well as hygiene rules, humane treatment of people, etc. By the way a person stays at the table, how he eats, one can judge his cultural level. Without observing the rules of conduct at the table, without good manners, it is difficult to succeed in society. And, since receptions are an integral part of business life, modern business schools, colleges and other educational institutions teach future businessmen to behave properly at the table, to be polite and considerate towards neighbors, to eat not only beautifully, but also “safely” for others. Let's try to consider the basic rules of behavior at the table

Do not sit at the table until the ladies sit down or until the host or hostess invites you to take a seat. The man accompanies the woman to the table, seats her to his right, after which he can sit down himself. The right to the attention and help of a man belongs to a woman sitting to his right, but a woman sitting to his left should also not remain out of his field of vision. A man at the table should show the same courtesies to women he knows and women to whom he is not introduced, but do not forget that the lady sitting next to you should be occupied regardless of whether you are introduced to her or not.

Guests should not start eating before the meal has been offered to all guests. First of all, you need to serve the ladies. When the next dish is served, it is not necessary to wait until the plates of the rest are filled. The lady sitting on the right should pour wine with her left hand, slightly turning to the right. If a new bottle is opened, the man pours some wine for himself, then for the lady.

You should not put your elbows on the table (you can hit a neighbor or his cutlery). Only the hands are on the table, and the elbows, if possible, are pressed to the body. At the table, you should sit straight, not leaning over the plate.

If it is difficult to reach any object on the table, you should ask him to pass it, and not get up and, hanging over the table, with the risk of dipping your jacket sleeves into other people's plates, get with difficulty to the coveted salad bowl.

When the meal is finished, the fork and knife are placed parallel to each other on the plate, “ten minutes to four”, i.e. so that if the plate is considered a round dial, then the fork and knife should show exactly this time. Not many people know that the waiter must not clear the table until everyone has finished eating. If you finished your meal earlier, sit still and continue the conversation. Never stack plates one on top of the other and, moreover, do not push them away from you - this is against the rules. The rest of the time you can drink tea, coffee, juice. Do not put a teaspoon in a glass or cup. After stirring tea or coffee, put a spoon on a saucer. Avoid activities that will drive your companions. But if you're the slowest eater at a business lunch, it's better not to finish your meal than to keep everyone waiting.

Do not make any remarks about the served dish. Do not criticize what is served to the table. Don't forget to get up from the table after the women have stood up. Remain standing until they leave the room, and then you can sit down again if you intend to stay and smoke at the table.

At the table it is customary to have a conversation, but at the table it is not customary to talk about business, the conversation should be of a general nature. If the number of participants in the reception is small, the conversation is common to everyone, if the number of guests is more than 30-40 people, those sitting next to each other talk. They will talk about business later, when the feast ends, which usually lasts from 1.5 to 2 hours.

The restrictions generally accepted in secular etiquette on the topics of table conversations also apply in business etiquette: it is not customary to talk about health - one's own or one of those present, about wages and income in general, as well as about illnesses and ailments, family problems and troubles, disputes and conflicts with management. It is advisable to avoid long monologues in a conversation. You should not ask interlocutors about their age or their official rank. At the table, general topics should be touched upon - about the weather, about culture and art, and it is not recommended to delve into any topics, as this can lead to disputes and even conflicts. At the same time, it is not customary to talk over the heads of neighbors: if you really need to say something to a neighbor sitting through one person, you need to do this by leaning back, i.e. behind the back of the immediate neighbor, and not in front of his face. When talking to one neighbor, you cannot turn your back on another neighbor.

It is useful not only to speak in accordance with the rules of etiquette, but also to be able to listen, i.e. do not interrupt the interlocutor, look at him with attention and interest, let him express his thought completely, show the interlocutor (by facial expression, posture, etc.) that the topic of conversation is interesting.

Don't turn your back on another if you intend to talk to your neighbor. Do not talk to another through a neighbor. Don't talk with your mouth full. Don't lean back or fall apart in your chair.

Serving items. Don't let the cutlery intimidate you with its brilliance and quantity - they are placed in the order in which the dishes are served: soup, fish, meat, dessert (toward the meal). Sitting at the table, look around, pay attention to how the table is served. There seems to be a lot of dishes and cutlery, but each has its own place, each has its own role. Directly in front of you is a diner (or a small dining room, and on it a diner) a plate. To her left is a pie plate or paper napkin. To the right of the plate are knives and spoons, and to the left are forks. In front of the plate are dessert utensils or one utensil - usually a dessert spoon or a teaspoon. Behind the dessert set are wine glasses and glasses. There is a napkin on the dinner plate. If the first course is not provided, the spoon is missing.

Correctly and skillfully using serving items is, first of all, using them only for their intended purpose. First of all, you need to remember that all appliances - knives and spoons located to the right of the plate, are taken and held while eating with the right hand, and all those located on the left - with the left hand. Dessert devices, located with the handles to the right, are taken with the right hand, and with the handles to the left - with the left hand.

It is recommended to hold the knife so that the end of its handle rests on the palm of the right hand, the middle and thumb fingers should be held on the sides of the beginning of the handle, and the index finger on the upper surface of the beginning of the knife handle. With this finger, the knife handle is pressed down when cutting the desired piece. The remaining fingers should be slightly bent towards the palm.

When using it, it is recommended to hold the fork in the left hand with the prongs down so that the end of its handle rests slightly on the palm. With your thumb and middle fingers, you need to hold the fork by the edge of the handle, and keep your index finger on top, pressing the fork handle down. The remaining fingers should be slightly bent and pressed to the palm.

Small pieces of food, as well as some side dishes for meat or fish (mashed potatoes and cereals, for example), cannot be eaten with a fork. In these cases, they use it like a spoon: turn it over with the teeth up so that the flat part of the beginning of the fork handle lies on the middle finger, slightly resting the end of the handle on the base of the index finger, with the index finger you need to hold the fork from its side, and the thumb - from above. The rest of the fingers are recommended to be pressed lightly to the palm. In these cases, food is picked up on a fork, helping with the tip of a knife blade. The spoon should be held in the right hand so that the end of the spoon handle rests on the base of the index finger, and the beginning of the spoon handle lies on the middle finger. In this case, with your thumb, you need to slightly press the handle from above to the middle finger, and with your index finger, support it from the side. For some dishes, pieces of which are easily separated with a fork, only a fork is served. In these cases, it is held in the right hand.

How to properly use a napkin. Modern etiquette suggests putting a napkin on your knees to avoid damage to clothing due to possible food getting on it. Therefore, before you start eating, carefully, calmly unfold your napkin and, folding it in half straight or diagonally, cover your knees with it. Fingers accidentally soiled while eating are carefully wiped with the top half of the napkin, without removing it from the knees. To wipe the lips, a napkin is taken from the knees with both hands, shortened by turning its ends over in the palm of your hand and, having applied the middle to the lips, wet them on the upper half of the napkin. Wiping your lips by sliding movements over them with a napkin is ugly. At the end of the meal, the napkin should not be carefully folded, trying to give it its former appearance, but simply carefully placed to the right of your plate. It is not recommended to hang it on the back of a chair or put it on its seat.

2. How and what to eat

They take bread from a common plate and break it in half over their own bread plate (it is at the top left of the main appliance); one half is placed on a bread plate, and it “waits its turn”, and the second is eaten, breaking off with your left hand a piece of the size that you can immediately put in your mouth. Then do the same with the second half of a piece of bread. Very often bread looks like small buns; they are treated like a piece of bread, i.e. break apart, etc.

If there is a common butter dish on the table, take a little butter from the total mass on your plate, and then spread it on a broken piece of bread. Oil from the butter dish is taken with a special wide knife, but if it is not available, you can take the oil with your knife and put it on a plate. Hold it all over the bread plate, not the main plate. Never butter the whole piece at once - it's not a sandwich.

Sandwiches are eaten in the same way as entrecote: the sandwich lying on the guest's plate is eaten gradually, in pieces cut off with a knife and fork.

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