Unbeatable phrases. Short funny phrases

More than 230 witty, sharp, funny, cool, smart phrases, aphorisms and quotes for all occasions.

Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from, adults - where does everything go.

Appetite and guests come at mealtime.

I want to live forever. As long as it works.

Nobody knows as much as I don't know..

Women guess everything. They're only wrong when they reason

A woman - it sounds proud, as well as loud, capricious and stupid.

God! I beg you for death! Do not refuse me, Lord, because I do not ask for myself ...

Toast: To beautiful ladies and other mythical characters!

How quickly time flies: I didn’t have time to wake up, but I was already late for work.

A girl is like a calculator: she adds problems, takes time, multiplies expenses, divides property!!!

The rings on the roof of the wedding car mean that the starting score is 0:0

A woman is ready to do anything for love, even make love. A man is ready to do anything for the sake of making love, even to love.

Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to know if she loves him. And a man can understand whether he loves a woman only after spending the night with her.

A man changes women when he wants to experience a lot, and a woman changes men when she does not experience anything.

Even the most beautiful legs grow from the ass.

Did the virus spill coffee on the keyboard too?

White and fluffy is actually gray and hairy.

There are no unbearable people, there are narrow doors.

One head is good, but with a body is better.

Believe people at their word, certified by signature and seal.

When I get married, I give birth to a son, I will call him Kuzey - and I will be Kuzka's mother!

It is not worth responding to evil with violence, you cannot even imagine what raped evil is capable of.

Nothing I say when you interrupt?

Speak - speak, I always yawn when I'm interested.

The road to success is always closed for repairs.

If you think that smoking doesn't affect a woman's voice, try brushing the ashes onto the carpet.

If you hesitate for a long time, you can shake everyone.

A woman is kind: she can forgive a man everything, even if he is not guilty of anything.

A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she does not see you.

A woman wants everything - from one thing. The man is one of all.

The source of our wisdom is our experience. The source of our experience is our stupidity.

What a pity that you are finally leaving...

I change the self-assembly tablecloth for a similar sheet.

Announcement in the newspaper: I'm renting, spoiling

One fish - the other: - Well, let's say there is no God ... And then who changes the water in the aquarium?

One of the most striking manifestations of optimism is the phrase: "What a fool I was!"

Worn out in what my mother gave birth ...

If love in you is strength, if you are in love it is weakness

Why are you healthy at your age?

I'm not stupid - I'm not in the mood

Who said that Kutuzov did not have one eye? Kutuzov had one eye!

Workers needed to work at work. Payment in money.

I'm not serious - I'm bored

I'm not pretty - I'm damn cute

Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces the working day

The penguin is a rare bird. So, it must fly to the middle of the Dnieper.

Who does not go forward, he goes back - there is no standing position.

There is nothing sadder than the life of women who only knew how to be beautiful.

In jealousy there is more pride than love.

Give a man what he wants and you will deprive him of the meaning of life.

Worse than yesterday can only be tomorrow.

"Where there are few words, they have weight" - Shakespeare.

I've been hit over 9,000 times in my career. I lost almost 300 matches. 26 times I was trusted to make the decisive shot and I missed. I have failed so many times in my life. That is why I succeeded.

The most difficult thing in a dispute is not so much to defend your point of view as to have a clear idea about it.

Born to crawl, crawl everywhere.

"We can speak frankly about our shortcomings only with those who recognize our virtues."

"It is not enough to have a goal in life, you must be able to shoot accurately."

Do not wish for people what you wish for yourself, you may have different tastes

We have learned to fly like birds and swim like fish, but we still have to learn to simply walk the earth like brothers.

Too many people think about protection instead of thinking about opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.

There can be a great fire in our soul. But no one can ever come to warm himself with him, because those passing by see only a wisp of smoke.

What is the end of the world for a caterpillar is a birthday for a butterfly.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

I want to go to hell, not heaven. There I can enjoy the company of popes, kings and dukes, while heaven is inhabited only by beggars, monks and apostles.

Hurry up to live in time to start all over again.

Don't grow wings if you don't know where to fly.

My nights are better than your days.

Be careful in your desires, otherwise they may come true.

If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a mournful book - "Fate is a whore" © Ranevskaya

My mindset: ask less questions and eat ice cream until it melts.

When you are not needed, but you are - this is a terrible situation, humiliating you first of all

One woman is DIFFERENT from another: not better, not worse, just different...

A screw driven in with a hammer sits tighter than a nail driven in with a screwdriver.

Love is like a tree, it grows by itself, takes root deeply into our whole being, and often continues to turn green and bloom even on the ruins of our heart.

Life is given once, but it is possible even less often.

Sometimes love goes away on its own

Not touching the heart, not the mind.

When a woman chooses a lover, it is not so important for her whether she likes him, as whether other women like him.

When I eat - I am deaf and dumb, cunning and fast, and devilishly smart ...

Men appreciate the most material in women - beauty, and women in men - the most ephemeral: reliability.

A woman, perhaps, has not yet created a single great invention, but she has created all the great inventors.

A woman never notices what is done for her, but she will always notice what is not done for her.

A woman in love is more likely to forgive a greater indiscretion than a small infidelity.

If you want to force a woman to change her mind, you must categorically agree with her.

Women have only one means to make us happy and thirty thousand means to make us unhappy.

Women - like cats - often love not the owner more, but the house.

Women are absolutely natural and consistent in their inconstancy...

Women are a special people: if you compliment them, they take it for the truth, if you tell the truth, they are offended.

Women are not born, they are made.

A woman who loves boldly does not try to be masculine and condescending to pressing problems - she is just a woman, before whose femininity any worldly trouble bows down and retreats respectfully.

I want to love you, but not hold you. I want to appreciate you without reasoning. I want to join you, but not invade you. I want to ask, but not demand. I want to help, but not to reproach for inability. If we both want it, then we can meet.

Do not boast that your wife is the best: women may be offended, and men will want to make sure.

If you persuade a woman for a very long time, she will think that you are only capable of talking.

Married life is war every day and truce every night.

Do not grieve if your wife had someone before you: it is worse if she has someone after.

The only real mistake is not correcting your past mistakes.

There are two ways to command women. But nobody knows them.

A man, even if he could understand what a woman thinks, he still would not believe.

Friendship between a man and a woman is based on the hope of one of the parties that this is not just a friendship.

In love, one always kisses, and the other only turns the cheek.

Women don't like timid men. Cats don't like wary rats.

Men are always right and women are never wrong.

A career is a wonderful thing, but it cannot warm anyone on a cold night.

The baby is a great example of a ruling minority.

Becoming a father is very easy. Being a father, on the other hand, is hard.

Calling rule. The phone you're looking at never rings.

God created woman later because he did not want to listen to advice when creating a man.

The more women strive to be free, the more unhappy they become.

A friend is a person who knows everything about you - and yet loves you.

The loved one is forgiven what others are not forgiven, and they are not forgiven what they forgive others.

If a woman hates you, then she loved you, loves or will love you.

Nobody becomes a good person by accident.

The most annoying thing is when your dream comes true for someone else.

Difficulties are the easiest to create.

Where is the beginning of the end with which the beginning ends.

A beautiful woman usually suffers from two diseases at once: delusions of grandeur and delusions of persecution.

If a person is happy for more than one day, then something is being hidden from him.

A true friend is someone who will hold your hand and feel your heart.

All girls are natural angels, but when their wings are broken, they have to fly on a broomstick.

Set big goals for yourself - it's harder to miss them!

The average woman prefers to be beautiful over smart because the average man sees better than he thinks.

Paradox: When you put 6 socks in the washing machine, you only take out 5.

When the toilet is closed, you want to pay for its use.

The client does not know what he wants until he sees what he received.

When there is nothing left to do, many do just that.

Everything that is good in life is either illegal, or immoral, or leads to obesity.

So that you live as you are sorry!

The day was not in vain!

If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it.

Short roads differ from long ones in that they charge a toll. And on dark roads they like to announce the price at the end of the road...

Happiness is that you do not notice when it is, and you notice when it is not ...

I'm made from a man's rib to protect his heart

Very often we choose not from what we want to have, but from what we are afraid to lose.

You don’t sleep all day, you don’t eat all night - of course, you get tired ...

Conscience is the wealth of a person, and we - students - are a poor people ....

A genius sleeps in any of us, and every day it gets stronger.

I didn't even think about what you thought!

Everyone knows that happiness is not in money, but everyone wants to see for themselves.

Keychain is such a small figurine that allows you to lose all the keys at once.

Gorilka is not Ukrainian vodka, it is a small humanoid monkey.

By the time you find a place in the sun, it's already evening.

Everyone has children, butterflies have children, fish, birds, even dogs. Only the pencil has no children, because it has an elastic band on the end!

Love is an electric current that runs from head to toe. And it hits the point where a son or daughter is born.

Let us live cool, so that we don’t want to change our lives! Falling in love is a reason for temptation, let's seduce each other !!!

Only those who feel fear in their hearts have courage,

Who looks into the abyss, but looks with pride in his eyes.

No wonder women don't have time for anything: just look at their tiny watch.

Only one person understood me; and, to tell the truth, he did not understand me either.

Life is a race in which everyone strives to get ahead in order to come to the finish line last.

Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things exist in the world.

My conscience is clear because I never use it.

Men love beautiful women more than smart women because it is easier for them to look rather than think.

Well hanging tongue always itches.

It's good to do nothing, and then relax.

Never sport with a fool, he will bring you down to his level and beat you on his territory.

You may not be mine, but I am yours.

The most irresistible cosmetics for women is powder for men's brains!

Never eat the last cutlet from the pan: one cutlet will not fill you up, and you will have to wash the empty pan.

So many good cute girls .... I alone as an exception to all the rules ...

When there is no woman next to a man, he starts doing stupid things. When a woman is not next to a man ... she starts to do dirty tricks.

It is much easier to get forgiveness later than it is to get permission first.

"The task - to make a person happy - was not part of the plan for the creation of the world."

How we live is a state secret, why is it a commercial one!

When I was born, I was so amazed that I didn’t talk to anyone for 2 years!

A woman is like a weapon: you cannot play with her.

Life, no matter how you curse it, is still worth living.

A woman is a danger to every paradise...

You don't have to have friends, you have to be friends with them...

It's bad to live, people die from it...

There are always at least two truths...

Doing bullshit at work develops hearing, peripheral vision, reaction and vigilance in general ...

Loneliness is bad because few people can endure themselves for a long time ...

A virgin is no better than a debauchee - both, in essence, think about the same thing.

The best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it..

How long I live, I can’t understand two things: where does the dust come from and where does the money go

Better to do it and regret it than to regret not doing it.

Following the law of a sandwich, we can conclude that if a sandwich is spread on both sides, then it will hang in the air.

I have everything but money and happiness.

Your joy at the onset of a clear sunny morning will not be complete if it suddenly becomes clear to you that it is Monday.

If they try to drag you into a win-win lottery, this means that you will not leave without losing.

The registry office is a place where love is rejected.

Avoiding praise is a request to repeat.

Tell me what you're thinking and I'll tell you what.

All gods WERE immortal.

Fools die on Fridays, and who else will die when there are two days off ahead.

If Eve did not cheat on Adam, then why did humanity evolve from apes?

It's good to be brave, but scary...

The later the ambulance arrives, the more accurate its diagnosis...

If you are late for work, then you have it.

A negative result is also a result, especially if it is an HIV result.

You have to live in such a way that you envy yourself.

Everyone knows that our life is a game, but how to play it...

If you're arguing with an idiot, he's probably doing the same.

No one can bring us to our knees! We lay, and we will lie!

If a man is a goat, this does not mean that he is a beast in bed.

In a woman, everything should be fine - do not stick anything into her!

Life is like a piano: the key is black, the key is white, the lid....(

The ransom demands of the terrorists have been met. The terrorists have been ransomed and bainki laid.

No one has died from knowledge yet, but I don’t want to take risks.

A wonderful phrase: good always triumphs over evil! So it's not clear who wins whom ...

April Fools' Day is an American folk holiday.

Life is like a dog sled: if you don't go ahead, you see the same thing all the time.

Happiness is when the desired coincides with the inevitable.

Every time, leaving the hairdresser, I am tormented by the same question - why did they ask me how I want to cut my hair?

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it was.

Love is like war: easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget...

A bit of Vishnevsky:

I look good, but not often.

It’s easier for men, their mothers-in-law love ...

Yes, finally agree: I'm not stubborn!

I love without memory ... without memory ... whom? ..

Years go by, I'm still in my thirties...

Hindering happiness - you and excess weight.

Here is the scoundrel: he blushes - and does not lie!

Today pilaf without meat. And no rice.

What is this money? It's a giveaway!!!

Both my mother and the Ministry of Health warned ...

Significantly silent, but asks unambiguously!

In bed, he is like a god: he does not snore!

There is a lot of children in it: he does not like semolina porridge ...

I believe that you can ruin someone's life!

No matter what, no matter where, no matter who...

Time heals, but the outcome is always fatal...

All in soap, but I control myself ...

Fate, baring its teeth, smiled...

I have nothing to hide, but I really wanted to hide ...

Love is needed like money: daily.

I fell asleep without saying goodbye ... I'm getting a divorce!

I demand now, but not immediately!

It's time to put up, tomorrow is pay day...

Loving a man who don't give a fuck about me is my style, yeah...

There are a lot of good people in the world, but I always communicate with the fuckers, it's more interesting with them

And in a white dress and veil, I go with flowers to the altar, and my father shouts after me Anton bl ** don’t dishonor the family!

Who said you need a valid reason to hate? None of that.

If the cat flies ass-first over the fence, it means that he blew something off the table.

Even a billion hearts under your ava won't fix the flaws of nature on your fuck

Short about me - f*ck brains and fuck a lot

At home they say: "Leave your nerves at work!" At work: "Leave your nerves at home!". Fuck, where to leave the nerves?

I respect the ocean. He takes lives and he doesn't give a fuck.

They say when you start to give a fuck about a person, he begins to understand what he has lost. So let the f**k rule the world. Everyone will be happy.

The hedgehog came out of the fog, ran out of marijuana, he suddenly found hemp, and went into the fog again!

And again I step into the bottomless heights, with a huge poster ... "Fuck it all."

It does not matter that you take a kitten or a man into the house! Half a year a nice little pug, and then a cunning impudent type!

Not everything beautiful can be rationally expressed in words. It happens that you like it madly, but it flies off the tongue: “fuck!”

All instructions in Russian should begin with the words: “Well, you moron, have you already broken it?”

I have not said for a long time: "Go to hell!". I say: "Everyone, stay where you are!"

If a girl asks you to leave her alone, leave her alone. Just don't leave her alone! In short, good luck to you, brother.

Worms always whine that they live in the ass. This is a biography. Only outside the ass they are not viable. This is biology.

Today I went to bed at 22:00. It's already 3-10 and I still can't get enough of going to bed so early!

People need to be trusted. Not money, of course. Or secrets. And so - in general.

The hardest thing to keep is a promise to yourself. You know, if anything happens, they will understand and forgive you.

“No” is only for those who do not ask.

Who does not take risks ... he drinks vodka at the wake of the one who took risks.

When I was little, I really wanted to grow up. Who knew that there was such a setup here ...

If you can, and even more so if you need it, then somehow you don’t really want to.

Medicinal properties of horseradish: if you put it on something, it immediately becomes easier.

Wisdom is an age-related slowdown in the brain, leading to the impossibility of making hasty decisions.

I hung a charm over the door, from all evil spirits, went to the store, returned ... the key in the door broke ... I can’t enter ...

But what if Lenin lies in the mausoleum because he was bewitched by an evil fairy, and if you kiss him, then the spell will break and the USSR will return?

Those who tell you about me tell me about you. Never forget about it.

All show off, absolutely everything. And those who do not show off, then show off those who do not show off.

In case of fire, follow the sequence! First - leave the building, then - write in social networks: VK, Odnoklassniki, Facebook, Twitter ...

Conscience - it is so ... It does not torment those who should be tormented, but those who have it.

We have a coffee machine at work. I already lost my salary in it.

If you are reading this SMS, then I already got drunk.

The rooster saw a chicken in the microwave and said: “A vigorous loaf ... in the village there is no one to carry eggs, but she rides on carousels here!”

The man's tail fell off, but the need to wag it remained.

You need to borrow money from pessimists, they know in advance that they will not be given back

Sitting up to your ears in shit, you won’t especially open your mouth.

Organs as organs and only ass massovik entertainer

The story of Malvina proved that a woman can easily fall in love with a man, albeit with a wooden head, but with a golden key.

Being fat is great. You immediately understand why you do not have a personal life. And when thin - look for reasons, guess, suffer.

Working is not a woman's business. A woman must go to work to show new dresses!

You walk like this with a mug of tea in your hands and a book. And instead of a book you throw tea on the bed...

Before, when I had no money, I associated it with the lack of work. Now I have a job. But apparently I'm doing something wrong.

They say you're not lucky if your breasts are smaller than your belly.

You can't earn all the money, you can't have all the women, you can't drink all the vodka... but did that ever stop the men?

The secret of my always excellent state of health and constantly good mood? Vegetarianism, yoga and some meat and vodka for dinner!

I love weekends! You can get to work quickly and without traffic jams.

Tomorrow is a mythical place where you run in the morning, live life to the fullest and solve your life problems.

Progress… Smart glasses, smart watches, smart sneakers, smart microwave ovens… Only stupid people remained.

Have you noticed that if you are the last to enter a compartment, then you have the feeling that you are visiting?

I have eternal problems - I constantly say something wrong: “put on” instead of “put on”, “go to x @ d” instead of “well, I will listen to your comments” ....

When choosing a life partner for yourself, you should not forget that in your free time from sex you will also have to talk about something.

I woke up early to walk longer with a disgruntled face.

Man is born to be happy, not to “obey”! Vasilisa, 4 years old.

Frigid - they are only frigid in bed, and they have requests like everyone else.

A woman, when choosing one of two men, hesitates only in the case when she does not need either one or the other.

And ... ladies! Eve decided.

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words in order to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we resort to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful, the whole world smiles back at you.

Every day we hear a lot of short funny phrases, but not all remain on hearing, and even less are remembered. The origin of a cool phrase is forgotten, but the meaning remains, especially if the phrase is funny.

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. We offer our selection of cool expressions and phrases for free, and let no one be left without a smile! Use every minute in your life!

Usually it is funny funny phrases that unite companies. Short funny phrases with meaning most fully reflect the good mood of people in society, have a positive effect on the worldview, and help determine the commonality of interests. And it doesn’t matter at all whether the new funny phrases about love are lines from a book, a chorus from a song, cues from a movie or cartoon.

Short funny expressions and funny phrases will be appreciated by cheerful people with a good sense of humor. On our website, we decided to delight you with our cool phrases and expressions.

Short funny phrases will help to cheer up friends

The main meaning of funny phrases is that they describe in a humorous way the exciting moments in the life of many people. Cool phrases about life will help to cheer up friends during a friendly feast. Cool phrases and aphorisms can cheer you up in a difficult and difficult period.

There are a lot of funny phrases and aphorisms. Cool phrases and sayings are passages that are taken from works of art, modern films or cartoons.

Basically, cool expressions about life are not taken from books, but from TV and the Internet. Many cool expressions and phrases are filled with meaning. The coolest expressions are various puns, or seriousness brought to the point of absurdity. Odessa humor is very multifaceted and many cool expressions become classics.

These cool expressions never get old and always remain relevant. For example, a lot of cool expressions are taken from the lines of works of art. Many well-known cool expressions with meaning are taken from the classics of world cinema, which are so pleasant to remember for the older generation.

Free funny expressions and funny sayings

Funny funny expressions about love will help to amaze your companion or companion with wit. Cool words and expressions will also come in handy if you need to correct an awkward situation or oversight. Cool sayings and expressions in the company of friends are most relevant.

Meet your friends, enjoy life with our funny aphorisms and expressions, and enjoy your thoughts and the thoughts of your friends.

There are many short funny phrases and expressions. But we have selected for you only the coolest ones, which, in our opinion, deserve the most attention. Our selection of the coolest phrases and expressions for people who love to have fun and make other people laugh. We invite you to read our free funny phrases and expressions to cheer you up.

Cool expressions and funny phrases to cheer up

• People want a good life, and they always have a fun one.
• Money is never as good as it is bad without it.
• I found my place in life, but it is busy ...
• If you did everything right, it does not mean that you will be fine
• Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night long and you are not understood.
• The Minister of Finance sincerely believed that happiness is not in money.
• Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job!
• They lived happily ever after until they found out that others live longer and happier lives.
• Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
• Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and it is a pity to die healthy.
• Very often you learn about the best moments of life from eyewitnesses.
• They learn from mistakes, and after mistakes they heal.
• Recipe for Army Canapés: Simply place a slice of bread on top of another slice of bread.
• Money comes and goes and goes and goes...
• As soon as you find your soul mate, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
• Not everyone who has gone out into the world manages to remain a man.
• Clicked the mouse...
• The classics are the kind of literature that people prefer to praise rather than read.
• When a person begins to consider himself wiser, he ceases to grow wiser.
• When appointing a martyr, the consent of the applicant is not required.
• One does not believe in rheumatism and love until the first attack.
• This world is strange, where two people look at the same thing, but see the exact opposite.
• We would care less about what others think of us if we knew how little they think of us at all.
• Only having known the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray ones.
• Don't impose your happiness on me, I have mine!
• What would you like to wish, so as not to envy later?
• It's good that you are accepted. Too bad it's in a pigsty.
• Sometimes you don’t want to fool around at all, but can you refuse it?
• An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician must remember that the reverse reincarnation is impossible in principle.
• Human rights end where the rights of a stronger person begin.
• In the life of a real programmer, there is a place for only two females: Asya and Klava. Well, except for the mother.
• I do not regret the past, I mourn the future that has died in it.
• Do you want sweet dreams? - Sleep in the cake!
• If you are harnessed, then do not wait for the gingerbread.
• What roof doesn't like fast driving?
• The hero is the one who steals from the rich?
• The quality of a miracle is easy to determine: even eyewitnesses do not believe in a real miracle.
• When you start to delve into the essence of any sale, you remember that in Russian the words "discount" and "throw" are the same root.
• Previously, court jesters rang bells, but now - special signals.
• If sport were as useful as we are told, then five Jews would hang on each horizontal bar.
• If you see only the good in everything, then nothing will change for the better.
• All men are the same, only their salary is different.
• If a woman is trying to keep her virginity before marriage, she has many chances to keep it until retirement.
• He knew how to do everything ... True, he didn’t succeed at all.
• Everything would be fine, but this is nothing - too much.
• Became a vegetarian - switched to weed ..
• If you are constantly laughed at, it means that you bring joy to people.
• Each person has exactly as much vanity as he lacks intelligence.
• A lot has changed in Russia in five years, but almost nothing in two hundred years.
• Attractive women are distracting.
• Forecasters, like sappers, make only one mistake.
• But every day.
• What date is May Day?
• God, I'm a cow.
• Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is a sneak.
• Caught a mouse - eat slowly.
• Smell under the arm - change the rug.
• Are you flying in your dreams? Sleep at home.
• If it wasn't for my legs, I wouldn't be here.
• Top of freedom - round dances.
• Don't dance, I'll get more.
• If everything is fine in a person, then this is not our person!
• Baldness is the process of replacing combing with washing.
• Today we drink dry wine! Pour it!
• An ideal marriage: she plays the first violin, and he plays the drum (E. Kashcheev)
• If money does not please, then it is not yours.
• In Russia, the people have not yet spoken their word, but it is already written on the fence...
• A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
• Each pioneer must hand over to the state 15 kg of waste paper and two who did not.
• Until he served, he slept peacefully, he knew that they were guarding. During the service he slept badly, guarded. After the service, I don’t sleep at all ... I know who guards
• It is indecent to come to an organized drinking party personally drunk in an unorganized way!
• The slower the train goes, the wider the expanses of our Motherland.
• Never have books radiated so much light as in the fires of the Inquisition.
• If not for sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
• Scientists have found that the most understandable language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
• Small is a well gnawed big.
• Physics has been canceled in Estonian schools so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
• Be sure to compose aphorisms - they will facilitate the work of your psychotherapist ...
• Our monastery asked the Holy Synod whether it is possible to pray while smoking, and we were told - it is possible! Since then, our monks have been smoking during prayer...
• A man is a homing system.
• Until the end of the month only! Everyone who buys a satellite dish will receive a satellite spoon and a satellite fork as a gift!

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words in order to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we resort to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful, the whole world smiles back at you.

New cool expressions and funny phrases to cheer up

• People want a good life, and they always have a fun one.
• Money is never as good as it is bad without it.
• I found my place in life, but it is busy ...
• If you did everything right, it does not mean that you will be fine
• Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night long and you are not understood.
• The Minister of Finance sincerely believed that happiness is not in money.
• Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job!
• They lived happily ever after until they found out that others live longer and happier lives.
• Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
• Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and it is a pity to die healthy.
• Very often you learn about the best moments of life from eyewitnesses.
• They learn from mistakes, and after mistakes they heal.
• Recipe for Army Canapés: Simply place a slice of bread on top of another slice of bread.
• Money comes and goes and goes and goes...
• As soon as you find your soul mate, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
• Not everyone who has gone out into the world manages to remain a man.
• Clicked the mouse...
• The classics are the kind of literature that people prefer to praise rather than read.
• When a person begins to consider himself wiser, he ceases to grow wiser.
• When appointing a martyr, the consent of the applicant is not required.
• One does not believe in rheumatism and love until the first attack.
• This world is strange, where two people look at the same thing, but see the exact opposite.
• We would care less about what others think of us if we knew how little they think of us at all.
• Only having known the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray ones.
• Don't impose your happiness on me, I have mine!
• What would you like to wish, so as not to envy later?
• It's good that you are accepted. Too bad it's in a pigsty.
• Sometimes you don’t want to fool around at all, but can you refuse it?
• An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician must remember that the reverse reincarnation is impossible in principle.
• Human rights end where the rights of a stronger person begin.
• In the life of a real programmer, there is a place for only two females: Asya and Klava. Well, except for the mother.
• I do not regret the past, I mourn the future that has died in it.
• Do you want sweet dreams? - Sleep in the cake!
• If you are harnessed, then do not wait for the gingerbread.
• What roof doesn't like fast driving?
• The hero is the one who steals from the rich?
• The quality of a miracle is easy to determine: even eyewitnesses do not believe in a real miracle.
• When you start to delve into the essence of any sale, you remember that in Russian the words "discount" and "throw" are the same root.
• Previously, court jesters rang bells, but now - special signals.
• If sport were as useful as we are told, then five Jews would hang on each horizontal bar.
• If you see only the good in everything, then nothing will change for the better.
• All men are the same, only their salary is different.
• If a woman is trying to keep her virginity before marriage, she has many chances to keep it until retirement.
• He knew how to do everything ... True, he didn’t succeed at all.
• Everything would be fine, but this is nothing - too much.
• Became a vegetarian - switched to weed ..
• If you are constantly laughed at, it means that you bring joy to people.
• Each person has exactly as much vanity as he lacks intelligence.
• A lot has changed in Russia in five years, but almost nothing in two hundred years.
• Attractive women are distracting.
• Forecasters, like sappers, make only one mistake.
• But every day.
• What date is May Day?
• God, I'm a cow.
• Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is a sneak.
• Caught a mouse - eat slowly.
• Smell under the arm - change the rug.
• Are you flying in your dreams? Sleep at home.
• If it wasn't for my legs, I wouldn't be here.
• Top of freedom - round dances.
• Don't dance, I'll get more.
• If everything is fine in a person, then this is not our person!
• Baldness is the process of replacing combing with washing.
• Today we drink dry wine! Pour it!
• An ideal marriage: she plays the first violin, and he plays the drum (E. Kashcheev)
• If money does not please, then it is not yours.
• In Russia, the people have not yet spoken their word, but it is already written on the fence...
• A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
• Each pioneer must hand over to the state 15 kg of waste paper and two who did not.
• Until he served, he slept peacefully, he knew that they were guarding. During the service he slept badly, guarded. After the service, I don’t sleep at all ... I know who guards
• It is indecent to come to an organized drinking party personally drunk in an unorganized way!
• The slower the train goes, the wider the expanses of our Motherland.
• Never have books radiated so much light as in the fires of the Inquisition.
• If not for sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
• Scientists have found that the most understandable language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
• Small is a well gnawed big.
• Physics has been canceled in Estonian schools so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
• Be sure to compose aphorisms - they will facilitate the work of your psychotherapist ...
• Our monastery asked the Holy Synod whether it is possible to pray while smoking, and we were told - it is possible! Since then, our monks have been smoking during prayer...
• A man is a homing system.
• Only until the end of the month! Everyone who buys a satellite dish will receive a satellite spoon and a satellite fork as a gift!
• source -http://www.umorina.od.ua