Is it possible to remember forty days earlier? Days of special remembrance of the deceased.

A wake is an action that is performed to honor the memory of a deceased person. The core of a wake is a communal meal, which is arranged by relatives in the house of the deceased, in a cemetery or in another place.

Funerals are held several times:

• on the day of death of a relative or the next day;
• on the third day after death, the soul of the deceased leaves this world and ascends to heaven (as a rule, this day coincides with the day of the funeral);
• on the ninth day;
• on the fortieth day;
• further, memorial meals are held six months from the date of death, and then all subsequent anniversaries.

As a rule, family members of the deceased and his friends take part in the funeral. For example, you can come to the wake of the ninth day without an invitation. You cannot drive away those who wanted to take part in this ritual. But it is important to remember that wakes are not organized for the sake of those invited, and the set table is not their main component. People come to them not to relieve themselves of negative emotions, stress, and certainly not to chat about abstract topics. The main thing at a wake is prayer for the deceased. It is very good, before starting a meal, to read the 17th Kathisma from the Psalter. And before eating, everyone should read the “Our Father” prayer.

Postponement of the funeral date

It often happens that memorial days fall either on a weekday, when it is impossible to leave work to prepare everything for them, or on some religious holiday. In this regard, the question arises as to whether it is possible to postpone the date of the obligatory commemoration, to do it either earlier or later.

The clergy believe that it is not at all necessary to hold a memorial meal on the anniversary of death. If there are objective reasons that prevent you from doing this, then you need to focus on them first.

It is not advisable to remember the dead during the week of Easter, as well as during the Holy Week of Lent. At this time, all thoughts should be directed: in Holy Week - to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, in Easter week - to the joy of the news of his resurrection. So, if the date of the funeral falls within these periods, it would be most correct to move them to Radonitsa - the day of remembrance of the dead.

If the date of the funeral falls on Christmas Eve, then it would be better to move it to January 8. This is even considered a good sign, since the wake is essentially dedicated to the fact of birth in eternal life.

The clergy also advise us not to forget the fact that prayer for them is first and foremost important to our deceased relatives. Therefore, it is recommended that the day before the funeral, order a Liturgy for the repose of the Soul of the deceased and a Memorial Service for the Day of Remembrance in the church. It is advisable to pray for the deceased. And the funeral itself can be postponed to the next day off after the anniversary of the death. But moving the date of the funeral on the fortieth day to an earlier date in Orthodoxy is not recommended.

All Souls' Day

In various religions there are certain days when you can remember your dead. If for some reason it was not possible to remember your loved ones at the right time, you can always do this on the day of remembrance, the date of which varies in different religions:

1. In Orthodoxy, as mentioned above, this is Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week after Easter. It should be noted that this is not the only day of remembrance in Orthodoxy. In addition to Radonitsa, there are five more similar dates.
2. In Catholicism, All Souls' Day falls on November 2. Funeral services on the third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
3. In Islam, it doesn’t matter what day it is, you need to remember the deceased. The main thing is to remember him with prayer and, together with his family, do good deeds on his behalf - give alms, take care of orphans. But the main thing is that it remains a secret in whose name these actions are committed.
4. In Buddhism, the Ulambana holiday is celebrated, which takes place in the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day of the Lunar calendar. Dedicated to commemorating the dead.

Almost everyone knows that they need to remember their dead, but people often forget how and why this is done. There is a connection between the departed and those who remain on earth. Therefore, people whose relative has died are in a state of sadness and anxiety for a long time, they have dreams about the dead, in which they most often ask for food or to do something for them.

As a rule, after such dreams there is a need to remember them, a need to visit a temple, a need to do some good deeds (for example, give alms). All this has a beneficial effect on the souls of the departed. The inability to hold a memorial ceremony on the same day is not a problem, since you can always leave a note in the temple and a clergyman will conduct it for you.

Our spiritual state affects the state of the dead in the other world, and in order to help them, we need to start changing ourselves and our environment. You can get rid of a bad habit, forgive those for whom resentment has been accumulating for a very long time, and start reading the Bible.

When conducting a funeral ritual, it is always necessary to keep its purpose in mind - when performing a joint prayer, ask the Lord to grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven and rest his Soul.

This mourning date is celebrated in a narrow circle of closest relatives and friends. The family of the deceased informs those whom they wish to attend in advance about the commemoration for the year of death. This event is intended only for very close people; crowded gatherings are inappropriate in this case.

How to properly do a wake?

On the anniversary of death, you must pray for the deceased in church, and at the end of the service, ask the priest to serve a memorial service.

According to tradition, on this day (in the first half of it), they restore order and ennoble this place. If weather conditions (snowfall, ice, heavy rain) do not allow you to come to the cemetery, this can be done on another day. It is advisable to bring fresh flowers with you, even if only a little, or coniferous branches. By the way, according to Christian tradition, only fresh flowers can be brought to funerals. They symbolize eternal life, because the human soul is immortal, and artificial flowers are initially lifeless. In addition, fresh flowers are considered as proof that love for the deceased person is alive. In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring food and alcohol to the grave. The deceased is remembered only with prayers, fresh flowers and kind words at the grave.

After visiting the cemetery, a memorial lunch is held. Depending on the number of people present, it can be done at home or in a small cafe hall, excluding the proximity of enjoying visitors.

The funeral table menu includes traditional dishes: funeral kutia, symbolizing eternal life, pancakes, compote. They often try to take into account the taste preferences of the deceased, offering dishes that he loved during his lifetime, because the event is dedicated to his memory.

Usually the table is served with fish dishes (as a symbol of Christianity), salads (vinaigrette, sauerkraut, pickled mushrooms or fresh vegetables in summer), cheese and cold cuts. For the first course - borscht, for the second - stewed meat or fried chicken with mashed potatoes or boiled potatoes.

You can serve dessert by complementing the compote with sweet pies, cookies or gingerbread. As for alcohol, preference is given to strong drinks (for example, vodka) and dry red wines.

In general, the dishes at the funeral table should not amaze those present with their richness and variety; the main thing, during a calm table conversation, is to remember with a kind word the deceased and his deeds during life.

Another important aspect of the death anniversary is merciful deeds. On this day, alms are distributed to needy people so that as many people as possible remember the deceased with a kind word. You can give out money, candy, cookies to the poor near the temple, give the deceased’s belongings to needy friends, make a donation to a nursing home or orphanage.

If Memorial Day falls during fasting, the commemoration should be modest, and the memorial table should meet the requirements of fasting, especially strict fasting. During strict fasting, you cannot eat eggs, meat, dairy and fish products, put alcohol on the table, even pancakes must be lean.

After death, a person is commemorated on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, and the last date is considered the most important, since the soul enters the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe to help the deceased person on this important day.

What does 40 days after death mean?

The fortieth day of commemoration of a deceased person is considered a certain line that separates earthly and eternal life. From a religious point of view, it is a more tragic date compared to physical death. 40 days after the funeral is a date that reminds people that the soul, after the end of earthly life, goes to its Heavenly Father. The funeral can be considered a kind of act of mercy.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?

Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it lived.

1. For the first three days the soul is free and it remembers its entire earthly life. It is believed that during this time she is in places that are close. On the third day after death, a memorial service must be held.
2. After this there will be a meeting with God, the saints and a visit to heaven. From this moment, the first torment and fears begin that due to mistakes made, the entrance to heaven may be closed. All this lasts for six days, so on the ninth day a memorial service and wake are held.
3. At the next stage, ordeals begin, which represent trials and obstacles. The soul will not receive a decision whether it can spend eternal life in Heaven or Hell. During this period, a comparison of positive and negative actions occurs.
4. Finding out what happens on the 40th day, it is worth mentioning the onset of the most important stage - the Last Judgment, where the soul can no longer influence anything and only the life of the deceased is taken into account.

How to pray for the deceased for up to 40 days?

Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, you need to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A prayer for 40 days to see off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. When figuring out the rules of 40 days after death and how to remember, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and more easily cope with the loss of a loved one.

“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heart's sorrow for the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me cope with this difficult loss, and give me strength to withstand the grief. And on the fortieth tribulation day, accept the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".

Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?

Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.

What is prepared for 40 days after death?

On this day, a memorial dinner is always held, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his repose. It is important to remember that food is not the main thing, so there is no need to try to prepare a luxurious menu with a lot of delicacies. A funeral dinner for 40 days, the menu of which should take into account the rules of Christianity, implies adherence to several important principles:

1. On the table there should be kutia, which is made from millet or rice, and pancakes without filling. Each of these dishes has its own important sacred meaning, which helps to appreciate the frailty of existence.
2. For those who are interested in the topic - 40 days after death, how to remember, you need to know about the ancient tradition of baking pies with different fillings.
3. If the forties did not fall during Lent, then meat dishes are not prohibited, so you can serve cutlets, cabbage rolls, goulash as a side dish, and so on.
4. Various dishes are allowed, and these can be first and second courses.
5. You can put salads on the table that include lean ingredients in the recipe.
6. Understanding the traditions of 40 days after death and how to remember the deceased, it is worth mentioning that in many families it is customary to follow the tradition of preparing the deceased’s favorite dish for a funeral dinner.
7. As for desserts, it is best to make cheesecakes, pies, cookies, and sweets are also allowed.

What do they take to the cemetery for 40 days?

According to traditions, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. You need to take flowers with you to the grave, of which there should be a pair, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect to the deceased. You cannot talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and especially drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days is that as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.

What are they giving away for 40 days?

There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, they give cookies, sweets and pastries. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute a person to needy people, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision for each individual.

Funeral service for 40 days – when to order?

On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, you must definitely go to the temple, where you can pray and order a memorial service and magpie.

1. The most important prayer is said at the liturgy. During this, a bloodless sacrifice must be made to the Lord.
2. Seeing off the soul on the 40th day necessarily includes a memorial service and this ritual is served in front of a special table called the eve. Gifts are left there for the needs of the temple and in memory of the dead. If a memorial service is not scheduled on the day that falls, then a litany is held for the deceased.
3. Understanding the topic - 40 days after death, how to commemorate, it is necessary to say that it is important to order the magpie, which is carried out from the day of death until the 40th day. When the allotted time is over, the sorokoust can be repeated one more time. Longer memorial times can be ordered.

40 days after death - traditions and rituals

A huge number of customs have formed in Rus', many of which have survived to this day. There are various signs that you should not do until 40 days, but it is worth noting that many of them are fiction and the church does not confirm them. Among the well-known traditions are the following:

1. Since ancient times, for 40 days it is not recommended to carefully monitor your clothes and cut your hair, as this is considered a sign of disrespect for the memory of the deceased.
2. The table for a funeral dinner is set traditionally, but sharp cutlery, that is, knives and forks, is not used. Spoons are usually placed with their backs facing up.
3. Crumbs left on the table cannot be swept off the table and thrown away; they are collected and taken to the grave. This is how the living inform the deceased that a wake was taking place.
4. Many people are interested in the topic of what they bring to the funeral for 40 days, so there are no rules indicating such obligations, but it is not prohibited to take some home-cooked food with you, for example, pies or pancakes.
5. At night, it is customary to close windows and doors tightly, and one should not cry, as this can attract the soul of the deceased.
6. Many people leave a glass filled with vodka and covered with bread on the table or bedside table. If the liquid decreases, it means the soul is drinking it. Many people leave vodka at the grave, but this has nothing to do with Orthodox customs.

Why can’t you chew seeds for up to 40 days?

Over the years, various customs have emerged related to the commemoration of dead people, and some of them may seem strange to many. For example, there is a ban regarding the prohibition of chewing seeds for up to 40 days, since this can spit on the soul of a deceased person. There is another explanation for this sign, according to which those who violate this prohibition will have toothache for a long time. The third interpretation of superstition concerns the fact that by clicking seeds you can attract evil spirits and devils.

Why are they giving away spoons for 40 days?

Since ancient times, there has been a custom of distributing wooden spoons with which people ate at funeral dinners. In the modern world, such cutlery is not used, so ordinary spoons are distributed. The sign is explained by the fact that when a person uses such a device, he involuntarily remembers the deceased. There is another strange superstition according to which utensils used for 40 days should not be given away. It is believed that she is a participant in the farewell ritual and if a person takes her home, he will bring misfortune and even death upon himself.

Signs for 40 days after death

There are many different superstitions associated with this date from the day of death, and among them we will highlight the most famous:

1. During this period, it is forbidden to clean the house and turn off the lights (you can leave a night light or candle).
2. It is not allowed to sleep for the allotted period in the place of the deceased.
3. From the moment of death until 40 days, it is necessary to cover all reflective surfaces in the house: mirrors, televisions, and so on. It is believed that a dead person can be reflected in them and take a living person with them.
4. When holding a wake for 40 days after death, it is necessary to allocate a place at the table for the deceased person, placing a plate and a glass for him, putting a piece of bread on top.
5. The widow must wear it on her head for the specified time; if this is not done, then she can incur damage to herself.
6. Every day you need to place a glass of water and a towel on the windowsill. This is important so that the soul can wash itself.

The custom of remembering the dead is already found in the Old Testament church (Num. 20:29; Deut. 34:9; 1 Sam. 31:13; 2 Mac. 7:38-46; 12:45).
In the Christian Church, this custom is ancient, just as ancient is the very basis on which the remembrance of the dead is performed.

Death is the completion of the earthly path, the cessation of suffering, a kind of boundary beyond which comes what he has been striving and striving for all his life. He who knew the truth and died in faith conquered death, together with the Risen Christ. The Church does not divide its members into the living and the dead; with Christ everyone is alive.
Love for deceased relatives places on us, now living, a sacred duty - to pray for the salvation of their souls.

According to Christian tradition, funeral services for the deceased are held on the day of the funeral (the third day after death), on the ninth and fortieth day after death. Subsequently, commemorations are traditionally held every other year, as well as on the birthday, death day and name day of the deceased. These days it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased.
Everyone who was at the cemetery and helped with the funeral is traditionally invited to the wake on the day of the funeral. Therefore, as a rule, the wake on the third day is the most numerous. It is customary to invite only close friends and relatives of the deceased to the wake of the ninth day. The funeral meal on the fortieth day is similar to the wake on the day of the funeral. On the fortieth day, everyone comes who wants to remember the person who has passed away.
The funeral can be held either in the house of the deceased or in any other place. Commemoration on these days is sanctified by ancient church custom.

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie in the church, so that during the first forty days the newly deceased is commemorated daily. Particularly celebrated are the third and ninth days, when, according to the teachings of the Church, the soul appears before the heavenly Throne, and the fortieth, when the Lord pronounces a temporary sentence, determining where the soul will be until the Last Judgment. These days you need to pray diligently for the deceased, and after these days you need to submit notes for the Liturgy and memorial service more often. A memorial service is a funeral service that can be performed both before and after burial.
Of particular power are the general commemorations of the deceased, which are performed on meat-free parental Saturday (a week before Lent), on Radonitsa (nine days after Easter), on the eve of Trinity and on Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday (Saturday before November 8). In addition, on three Saturdays in Great Lent (2nd, 3rd and 4th), the Ecumenical Church decided to commemorate all dead Christians together.
The dead cannot pray for themselves; they wait for our prayers. The soul needs them most of all during the first 40 days, while it is going through ordeals and undergoing private judgment. It is necessary to order a magpie in all possible churches - a commemoration for 40 days, serve it at a memorial service every day, commemorate it at the Psalter, give alms and ask to pray for this soul. Thus, by constantly remembering, with the help of the Church, you can pray your soul even from hell.

But commemoration in the Church provides special help to the deceased. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the names of your deceased relatives for commemoration at the altar (it is best if this is a commemoration at the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased, and then as a sign of washing away his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts). After the Liturgy, a memorial service must be celebrated. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays.
A candle placed for the repose of a person “on the eve” is one of the indispensable types of remembrance. At the same time, it is necessary to offer prayers to the Lord for the departed: “Remember, Lord, the souls of Your departed servants (their names), and forgive them all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.” .
Kanun is a quadrangular table with a marble or metal board on which cells for candles are located.

What you need to know about the memorial service

In addition to the daily commemoration of the deceased at daily services, the Church has established a number of funeral commemorations. Among them, the first place is occupied by the funeral service.
Memorial service - funeral service, service for the dead. The essence of the memorial service is the prayerful remembrance of our departed fathers and brothers, who, although they died faithful to Christ, did not completely renounce the weaknesses of fallen human nature and took their weaknesses and infirmities with them to the grave.
When performing a requiem mass, the Holy Church focuses our attention on how the souls of the departed ascend from the earth to the Judgment to the Face of God and how with fear and trembling they stand at this Judgment and confess their deeds before the Lord.
“Rest in peace” is sung during the funeral service. The physical death of a person does not mean complete peace for the deceased. His soul may suffer, not find peace, it may be tormented by unrepentant sins and remorse. Therefore, we, the living, pray for the departed, asking God to give them peace and relief. The Church does not anticipate from the Lord the all-justice of the mystery of His Judgment over the souls of our deceased loved ones; it proclaims the fundamental law of this Court - Divine mercy - and encourages us to pray for the departed, giving complete freedom to our hearts to express themselves in prayerful sighs, to pour out in tears and petitions.
During the requiem and funeral service, all worshipers stand with lit candles, in commemoration of the fact that the soul of the deceased has passed from earth to the Kingdom of Heaven - into the Never-Evening Divine Light. According to established custom, candles are extinguished at the end of the canon, before singing “From the spirits of the righteous...”.

Days of remembrance of the dead.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.
For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying it through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is placed, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for a nest. A virtuous soul walks through those places in which it used to do the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul that appeared before the face of the Just One is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and representatives to Him for us, petition for pardon for the deceased.
After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Woe is me! How much I have become fussy in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor one!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation and acceptance of the special Divine gift of the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. The Prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.
After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place to stay until the Last Judgment. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They atone for the sins of the deceased and ask for his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the deceased on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all the fixed holidays are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always marked with at least a heartfelt remembrance by loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

UNIVERSAL MEMORIAL SERVICES (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, general, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers in faith who have passed away from time to time, who have been worthy of Christian death, as well as those who, having been caught by sudden death, were not guided into the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at this time, specified by the statutes of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Meat Saturday. Dedicating the Meat Week to the remembrance of the Last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, established to intercede not only for its living members, but also for all who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all generations, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our deceased fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - the community of believers, the members of which are not only those living, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is an expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of human salvation, and the deceased also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the holiday that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were granted during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is given life.” " Therefore, the Church devotes the eve of the holiday, Saturday, to the remembrance of the departed and prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for “those kept in hell.”

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of the Holy Pentecost. On Holy Pentecost - the days of Great Lent, the feat of spirituality, the feat of repentance and charity to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to perform prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from this life on designated days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are designated by the Church for the remembrance of the dead for another reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent no funeral commemorations are performed (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days by death, sorokousty), since there is no full liturgy every day, the celebration of which is associated with the commemoration of the dead. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of the Holy Pentecost, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on the Tuesday after St. Thomas Week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, connected with St. Thomas Sunday, and, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration of the dead after Holy and Holy Weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the day of remembrance itself is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).
Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the church - after a memorial service has been served in the church. During Easter week there are no funeral services, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for believers in the Resurrection of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Easter week, funeral litanies are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday- on this day, commemoration is made of all Orthodox slain soldiers. It was established by the holy noble prince Demetrius Donskoy at the inspiration and blessing of St. Sergius of Radonezh in 1380, when he won a glorious, famous victory over the Tatars on the Kulikovo Field. The commemoration takes place on the Saturday before Demetrius Day (October 26, old style). Subsequently, on this Saturday, Orthodox Christians began to commemorate not only the soldiers who laid down their lives on the battlefield for their faith and fatherland, but along with them, for all Orthodox Christians.
The commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed by the Orthodox Church on April 26 (May 9, new style), on the holiday of victory over Nazi Germany, as well as on August 29, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist.
It is imperative to remember the deceased on the day of his death, birth and name day. Days of remembrance must be spent decorously, reverently, in prayer, doing good to the poor and loved ones, in thinking about our death and future life.
The rules for submitting notes “On repose” are the same as notes “On health”.

The deceased must be commemorated in the Church as often as possible, not only on designated special days of remembrance, but also on any other day. The Church makes the main prayer for the repose of deceased Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, offering a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, you should submit notes with their names to the church before the start of the liturgy (or the night before) (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles will be taken out of the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy chalice and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit we can provide to those who are dear to us. This is how it is said about commemoration at the liturgy in the Message of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before separation from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and neighbors) - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without, however, losing hope for relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and charity done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the priest makes for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general the Catholic and Apostolic Church makes for everyone every day.”

The Christian Church teaches us that man, who was once created immortal, due to the original sin of Adam and Eve, lost this greatest gift. Since then, he has become corruptible and, having walked the path of life allotted to him by the Lord, leaves the earthly world, taking with him the burden of sins committed, but not atoned for by repentance. Therefore, our prayers and rituals are extremely important for him to find eternal peace. How the deceased are remembered on the anniversary of death (one year after death) will be discussed in this article.

Commemorations of the deceased preceding the anniversary of death

After a person’s heart has stopped beating and he has appeared before the gates of eternity, the Orthodox Church prescribes his threefold commemoration. It takes place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. It is necessary to briefly mention them, because otherwise the story about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death will be incomplete.

The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in commemoration of the three-day resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is generally accepted that for the first two days after parting with the body, the soul, accompanied by angels, still wanders near places dear to it from earthly memories. On the third day, the angels take her to heaven to worship the Almighty. Thus, the day of the first appearance before the Lord is the beginning of the memorial cycle, the completion of which will be the anniversary of death. How to remember according to church custom on this still distant day will be described below.

The next rite is performed on the ninth day, symbolizing the nine ranks of angels interceding with the Lord for the repose of the soul of His deceased servant. The Church teaches that after the third day the soul leaves the earthly world and is transported by angels to the heavenly abodes, which it contemplates for six days.

After this, she performs a second worship of the Lord and is thrown into hell, where she will remain until the fortieth day, continuously contemplating the torment endured by unrepentant sinners. And only after the soul has been shown the bliss of the righteous and the suffering of the wicked, it appears before the Almighty, who, based on earthly affairs, determines its place of stay until the Last Judgment.

The third, ninth, and especially the fortieth day are as important as the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased at these stages of his stay in the afterlife is a topic for a special conversation, but we will turn to the ritual performed a year after his death.

Daily prayer for the departed

From time immemorial, among Orthodox people there has been a pious custom of commemorating in church on the anniversary of the death of everyone who has passed away, regardless of how many years have passed since that sad day. However, this does not eliminate the need to say several funeral prayers at home while reading the morning and evening prayer rules, and today an increasing number of people observe this church instruction, along with the texts contained in them. You can find them on the pages of an ordinary Orthodox Prayer Book.

The time that has passed since the death of a person close to us dulls the pain of the loss suffered, but despite this, it is necessary to remember how necessary memorial prayers are for him beyond the threshold of eternity, especially on the day when the anniversary of death has arrived. How to remember the deceased in order to help his soul free himself from the burden of sins? Many church fathers, who gained fame with their theological works, wrote about this.

Preliminary cleansing of your own soul

If you turn to their works, then in most of them you can see how much importance the authors attach to the mental and physical purity of those who intend with their prayers to alleviate the posthumous fate of people close to them. In other words, before you begin to pray for the forgiveness of other people's sins, you need to repent of your own. Everyone knows that the prayer of a righteous person is heard more often than the requests of one who is mired in sin.

In addition, speaking about how to properly commemorate on the anniversary of death, the holy fathers strongly recommend starting preparations for this important matter with fasting, even if it is short-term. One - maximum two days of abstaining from fast food - meat, fish and dairy products, will help, having overcome the carnal and sometimes sinful aspirations so inherent in human nature, to direct thoughts towards the upcoming prayerful communication with God. Please note that fasting in this case is not a mandatory requirement, but is only recommended as a proven means of cleansing one’s own soul and body.

This will help our prayers for forgiveness of the sins of a loved one to be heard and find grace. The Church teaches that beyond the threshold of death it will be too late to repent of what was done during life, and only those remaining on earth are able to beg God to ease the fate of the deceased.

Continuing the conversation about how to properly commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, one cannot help but recall the custom of ordering regular commemoration of the deceased in the church for forty days in advance of this date. This ritual is called Sorokoust and dates back to the first centuries of the establishment of Christianity in Rus'. In this case, it serves as a preparatory stage for the main actions coming on the day of remembrance.

Where to start a church commemoration?

Despite the importance of home prayers, the main importance is still attached to the church service on the day when the anniversary of death occurs. How to remember the deceased in the temple of God should be learned in advance from the priest, who will help perform this rite in full accordance with the traditions of the Orthodox Church. We will focus only on some generally accepted rules.

Usually, before the start of the liturgy, a note with the name of the deceased is given for his commemoration in the altar. By the way, the names of other close people who left this world at different times can be entered into it. They all also need prayer support. In addition, on the day of the anniversary of death, as at any other time, it would be very appropriate to order a memorial service for the deceased.

What is a memorial service?

Since this funeral rite, accepted in Russian Orthodoxy for a long time, has a special meaning, then continuing the conversation about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death, it is worth dwelling on it in more detail. According to the rules set out in the Trebnik - a liturgical book regulating the procedure for performing the sacraments and other sacred rites, a memorial service can be held both in the church and in the house of the deceased, where a priest is invited for this purpose, as well as in a cemetery or in the place where life was cut short loved one. The memorial service is very close in structure to the funeral service. The only difference is that in this case several prayers are excluded from it.

Kolivo, prosphora and alms are integral parts of the ritual

In addition, the Trebnik, which indicates how the deceased are commemorated on the anniversary of death at home, in the cemetery and in the temple, is prescribed, at the end of the church ceremony, to place on the eve - a small rectangular table with a crucifix, where funeral candles usually burn - a dish filled with kutya - porridge , made from whole wheat grains and drizzled with honey. According to church tradition, it is called koliv. When leaving the church, you should take one or more prosphoras with you and eat them at home on an empty stomach before the funeral meal begins.

Regardless of whether the memorial service was performed in a church, or the relatives of the deceased limited themselves to a modest home ritual, it is highly recommended on this day, as on any other, to distribute alms to those whom the vicissitudes of life forced with an outstretched hand to seek food for themselves. This humanly good deed is also the fulfillment of one of God’s main commandments, which prescribes love for neighbors and help to everyone who needs it. It should be strictly observed throughout life, and not just on the day when someone’s death anniversary occurs.

How to remember a loved one in a cemetery?

When paying tribute to the memory of a loved one, it is also customary to visit his grave on the anniversary of his death. It is there that we most acutely feel the irreplaceability of the loss we have suffered. It is highly advisable to come to the cemetery a few days before and check whether the tombstone, cross and fence are in proper order. If something needs to be repaired or painted, it should be done immediately, and in any case, the cleaning should be done. In autumn, sweep away fallen leaves from the grave, in winter, remove snow, and in spring and summer, it is advisable to plant living seedlings.

On the anniversary of your death, you can visit the cemetery both before and after going to church. There are no rigid guidelines in this case, and everyone can do what is most convenient for them. The only exceptions can be those cases when the relatives of the deceased want a priest to serve the litiya at the grave. Usually there are churches in the territory of cemeteries where you can make such a request, and it is better to do this in advance, since the priest may have other requests on that day.

Ritual traditions that regulate the order of how to correctly remember the deceased on the anniversary of death allow for the performance of all appropriate actions without the participation of a priest. In this case, one of those present, and among them, as a rule, there are the closest relatives and friends of the deceased, can read the funeral prayers himself. They will be especially beneficial if those present begin to do this one by one. An integral part of visiting a grave is also the laying of fresh or artificial flowers and wreaths.

Funeral meals at the grave and at home

After reading the prayers, it is time for a short memorial meal, served right at the grave. The tradition of the Orthodox Church prescribes eating pancakes, jelly, and also kutya, which was discussed above. You can also add fruits and homemade cakes to this simple menu.

Unfortunately, during the Soviet period, when the dominance of atheistic ideology tore people away from their original church customs, standards were developed that were completely alien to true piety. One of them was the tradition of drinking alcoholic beverages at the grave, and often simply getting drunk. We can say with complete confidence that this is fundamentally contrary to church rules, and it does not matter whether the grave is visited on an ordinary day or the anniversary of death.

On the same day, it is customary to commemorate the deceased at a home meal, to which relatives are invited, as well as those who knew and loved him during his lifetime. Often one of the participants in the feast is a priest. Sometimes they rent space in a cafe or restaurant for this purpose. In order for the wake to take place in accordance with established tradition, a number of simple rules should be followed, outlined below.

The beginning of a home meal, like the one served in the cemetery, should be preceded by the same memorial prayer for the deceased. If a priest is invited to the house, then he reads, if not, then one of the relatives or several people in turn. Prayer in this case is important both for the repose of the soul of the deceased and for setting those present in a solemn mood appropriate to the given moment.

Features of the funeral table

It is quite natural that every housewife tries to set the richest possible table, replete with various dishes, and thereby please the tastes of all those present. However, it should be taken into account that the church calendar, in addition to fasting days, that is, those on which there are no restrictions on the list of foods eaten, also provides for fasts, both one-day and multi-day.

Since the funeral itself is part of the Orthodox tradition, the meal menu must meet the requirements set by the church for the day on which the anniversary of the death falls. How to remember the deceased only with Lenten treats is a question that every housewife decides independently.

It is important to take into account that no matter how richly the table is set, the meal should begin with the traditional eating of the same kutya. This custom has a very specific meaning. Wheat or any other grains from which it is prepared symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey poured on top is the pleasure that awaits the righteous in eternal life.

How to maintain proper atmosphere at the table

Another important point related to home meals is the correct choice of alcoholic beverages. If their use in a cemetery is inappropriate, as discussed above, then at a home table or in a restaurant it is permissible. However, so that the memory of a dear person and his death anniversary are not overshadowed, you should remember the day of his death by taking into account the advice outlined below. This will help avoid unpleasant situations that often arise as a result of excessive libations.

To be on the safe side, it is not recommended to place strong 40-degree drinks on the table. It is better to give preference to church Cahors or some light wines. At the same time, it is necessary to ensure that even their use does not go beyond what is reasonable. Otherwise, a memorial meal can easily turn into an ordinary banquet, during which memories of the deceased will give way to laughter and fun that are inappropriate in this setting.

Scandals, swearing and showdowns are extremely unacceptable at the funeral table. It is advisable that during the entire dinner the conversation is only about the deceased, remembering various episodes from his life, and also talking about everything that he did good to people.

You can invite guests to view photographs of the deceased in the house or a video of him. Even if the deceased was not always distinguished by worthy behavior, the bad things on this day should be forgotten. Instead, the emphasis should be on all the good things he left behind.

Two more important questions

We must not lose sight of this very significant question: what to do if the anniversary of death coincides with any of the major church holidays? How to remember - before or after, if memorial prayers are not accepted on the day of the holiday itself (for example, on Easter)? In this case, the ceremony is postponed to the next weekend or other convenient day. But even in this case, one should go to church, confess, take communion, light a candle for the repose of the soul and give alms precisely on the anniversary of death.

There is another important problem that the death anniversary (1 year) poses to the relatives of the deceased, when they have to remember people who are not baptized or of other faiths, or even suicides. Is it even possible to pray for them, and if this is permissible, then how to do it correctly?

The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, where he says that for Christ “there is neither Greek, nor Jew, nor barbarian, nor Scythian...”, but all are equal for the coming Kingdom of God. Therefore, you can and should pray for all people, since for every deceased, an important stage of his stay in the afterlife is the anniversary of death. To remember earlier or later depends on the calendar date, as discussed above.

The only thing that should be taken into account is the established rule of submitting memorial notes to churches only with the names of those who underwent baptism during their lifetime and did not burden themselves with the sin of suicide. For all the others, you need to pray for yourself, in church and at home, in the cemetery, as well as in the place where death cut short the days of their life. One must ask the Lord to grant remission of the sins they have committed and to rest their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.