How is the year after death remembered? Is it possible to commemorate earlier or later than the date of death

Wake for 1 year after death

Let us consider by the numberological (numerical) method an event that is associated with the departure of a human being from life, i.e. state of death. Staying in the invisible world takes some time, which in the conventional language of the earthlings of the visible world is designated as forty days. This number 40 has become an important symbolic number for us, we attribute it to the Soul of a person who continues his existence in another reality.

Let us pay attention to the actions that we perform in memory of departed loved ones, friends, acquaintances, called commemoration.

What we do.

Returning from the cemetery (or from the crematorium), we gather together to honor the memory of a deceased person on this day.

These are the first reminders.

On the ninth day we gather for the second time and this is the second commemoration.

The third commemoration falls on the fortieth day.

Using the numberological language (method of cognition), we will try to explain the correctness of our actions during the death of a person close to us, an acquaintance or any other.

Numberology is a science that explains the meaning of events. It points to accuracy, revealing errors, delusions (which comes from ignorance) in something. This precision allows you to correctly perform any actions that are consistent with Nature, so as not to deviate from harmony.

Explanation.

Death is a state of transition (from life to another state of being), which takes a certain period of time. By analogy, we can find the likeness of death in our lives. The time of death will fall on the night part of the day, when the past Day "dies" (morning, afternoon, and evening - trinity). Night for us will be a time of transition, and sleep will be death.

Morning we can take for the beginning of our life, if we consider all life in this way; the day is our whole life until old age, and the evening is our old age and the end of life. Night is our death and departure from life.

Numbering the parts of the day in order, we get: 1 - morning, 2 - afternoon, 3 - evening, 4 - night. The number 4 will be transitional: from one day to another, and hence from one life to another.

Our dreams, which are a symbol of death, will turn out to be "commemoration" for us, because. most often in dreams the events of earthly life are recalled, and this is morning, afternoon and evening. These commemorations are performed in a state of transition from one day to another, which is the night.

The transition has received its symbol from us - this is the number 4. Thus, what precedes the transition, i.e. old age, end, evening - will be symbolic of the number 3.

A deceased person goes through his mortal path in the world invisible to us, but not to him, also from 1 to 4. And there is the beginning of the path, like morning, the continuation of the path is day and its completion is evening. Further transition - night.

About the human body.

On such “night-transitions” we can commemorate people who have left our lives.

In order to understand what these periods are, one must know the structure of a human being. In this world where we live, we have a Body that everyone can see. But it is only quality reflecting the invisible quantity. This quantity- there are three invisible bodies: the etheric - the vital body, the astral - the sensitive body and the mental - the thinking body. Together with the physical visible Body, all bodies constitute one human being. (1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = 10, and 10 = 1 + 0 = 1 is one).

With the end of life (and the end is the number 3), the deceased begins to say goodbye to his body of flesh, which has four bodies: three invisible quantitative and one visible quality(begins to "say goodbye" to each body in turn).

The first body that the deceased leaves is the physical, qualitatively visible body. Because it quality, then it is not divided into parts and is not measured separately. Living parts of the Day (morning, afternoon and evening), the Body remains one, but the fourth in a row, and three are counted. quantitative bodies of the invisible world.

Similarly, the time of night, being the fourth part, is the same for dreams, where everything happens in turn: morning, afternoon, and evening.

This means: that three bodies are three units (1 1 1), which are displayed in the four by their trinity. In order to imagine this, we need to imagine a triangle (semi-square), which is reflected by exactly the same triangle, while we already get a new quality in the form of a square, and not two triangles.

The number four - 4 differs from the number three - 3 by one unit, which is added as a "unity" of two triangles. (Two triangles connected is a square, or a quadrilateral at different angles of the triangles.)

At the time of death, the deceased, leaving the Body, first loses quality physical Body (square) and functions (a triangle that reflected another triangle). Life begins without the Body, but it is already short-lived, because. without visible body quality cannot exist quantitative body (consisting of three). This life is determined by the number 3, because. the trinity of things in the world is the basis, the first brick of all life (the triangle is the first closed figure after the line and angle, which are considered the numbers 1 and 2).

In Numberology, all the constituent parts of something under consideration are connected by a plus (+) sign, and the function of the parts (action, work, force ...) that produces any result is the multiplication sign (x). These signs will have to be used to explain what happens after the deceased leaves the physical Body.

What's happening.

Once in the ethereal world - the first in a row, a person begins to perceive the world with ethereal vision. Unlike quality physical Body, where sight is not quality, but reverses quantitative, alternately, this body gives an advantage quality perception: all earthly life is here “in the palm of your hand”, i.e. viewed in its entirety. On Earth, it was lived in time, where events succeeded one another (in parts).

According to earthly time, this happens for three days (three days). On the fourth day (night-transition), the deceased leaves the first etheric body, remaining in the second body - the astral one. In this segment of the path, sensory perception occurs (shame, pride, torment, conscience, joy, admiration, grief, calmness, etc. - all this arises from the contemplation of a previously past life; this is like a Judgment, where good and bad deeds are noted in difference ). This perception takes place for nine days (as 3 x 3, i.e. doubled three, because the world and the body are second in a row).

What we do not do, but how to do it.

Thus, we can make a commemoration for the dead for the first time on the day of the funeral, i.e. on the fourth day (4 - transition).

The second time we will add (+) stay in two worlds (the first ethereal - 3 days and the second astral - 9 days), while getting the time of the second astral death, i.e. 3 + 9 = 12 (12 = 1 + 2 = 3). And not on the ninth day from the death of the physical body, but (after nine) - already on the thirteenth, we can commemorate the departed person, because the life limit of the astral body is 12 days (3 + 9), and the transition will take place at the next earth time, i.e. on the day of the fourth (13 = 1 + 3 = 4).

The third body still remains to live, and this life takes the time of three triples (3 x 3 x 3) of the three worlds, i.e. twenty seven days (27).

A person at this time understands with his mental body (body of thought) everything that concerns life on Earth. He understands why he incarnated at all, and is disappointed if he did not remember his cosmic task, having lived his life only to satisfy his Body (with sex, money, food, work, raising other people or children), without working on himself, on his Soul.

The limit of stay in the mental world, the third one, is 27 days, and in total with other worlds (the addition of parts is the “+” sign), the number 39 = 3 + 9 + 27 is obtained (and the number 39 is 3 + 9 = 12 = 3). And on the next earth day, there will be a transition to another reality, where the Human Soul resides, freed from four bodies. This is the third four - the fortieth day (40).

Having written in one line the path of the deceased according to the days of transitions, we get:

(3) + (3 x 3) + (3 x 3 x 3) = 3 + 9 + 27 = 39,

or 3 + 3 (squared) + 3 (cubed) = 39,

and, adding the quality -1 (unity), we get the number 40, as the total number of the implementation of the process of death.

Thus, fours take part in memorial days - 4. But our ignorance leads to distortions such as a “broken phone”, and we fall into “inaccuracy”, which is typical for our life (and knowledge of Numberology gives accuracy!), And with “not accurate” the time of the commemoration will move (which is happening) from the thirteenth day (13 = 4) to the ninth. This means that we commemorate as if the living, and not the dead, we perform actions earlier than the appointed day.

Number 13.

However, the “transitional” number 4 has come down to our times in the form of three fours together with one, their unity: 4 is the fourth day of the commemoration, 4 is the thirteenth day of the commemoration and 4 is the fortieth day, i.e. 4 + 4 + 4 \u003d 12 + 1 \u003d 13. The number 13 is “dangerous” for us for a reason. It remained in our memory (no longer from a damaged phone) from ancient times, when knowledge about the secret and invisible world was revealed to people.

But the number 13 (4) is transitional not only in death, but also in birth. Forty (4) weeks - and a person is born into the visible world, therefore the number 13 is dual in its essence (the direction of the path is important: to the visible world, or to the invisible).

How can a born person know about what represents not only the number 13, but also other numbers that “live” with us? Who thought about the questions "why" and "how" something happens? Many take the world in the form of the question "what is it?" and receive in response only the name of things and phenomena, sort of like an acquaintance with what they have to live with.

(Information about the number 13 can be found on the Forum page of this site: http://nomer7777.ucoz.ru/forum/2-4-1).

Looking at this Circle of the Universe, one can understand about the days of the Transition, this is every fourth Circle:

If we want to find ourselves a life partner, then it is not enough for us to know only his name. What matters to us is its manifestation, i.e. the manner of his behavior, the properties inherent in the Soul, which are only reflected through the Body. The Soul is more important to us, because The body is beautiful, but the behavior resembles moral ugliness. The body can only sympathize with us (to be pleasing to the eye - sight), but we love for the inner quality, which is expressed by the number of sign expressions through the body, (moving manners - gait, gestures, expression of thought, manner of speaking - everything that is a personal dignity of a person, his qualities of the Soul - all these are signs that reflect it).

Wake for 1 year after death

The commemoration is the embodiment of a living Idea, of which we know only the name - the ritual. Repeating meaningless actions that answer the question “what” (should be done after the death of a person), we are like a robot, some kind of thoughtless creature.

In many things we repeat after those who were born before us, because. we do not ask questions: “how” (correctly) and “why” (we must do something that could be posed by the question “what is this before us?”). We follow thoughtlessly, and then ask “why do we dream of the deceased?”, To which we receive an answer in the form of advice: “Put a candle!”. Thus, with the help of the dream and the deceased, the question “why” is born in us. You can already understand this as a sign of the absence connections, because memory is a connection of times: what has gone into the past and carried away a loved one, and what comes from the future, which we, who live today, perceive as the present.

Ritual of seeing off.

A commemoration as an event has its own inner life, because. what we do is an external manifestation (ritual). But manifestation can be perfect (good) or imperfect (bad). And if we are already doing our actions in the name of Memory, then it is desirable to achieve an effect in what has been done, which will communication with the deceased, who is either escorted by us on his further journey (with the number 4), or not escorted (with the number 3).

In the meantime, it turns out: we came to see off a person to the station, whose train will be tomorrow. There is no person near the train, but we blindly perform the ritual of seeing off. And tomorrow he will go alone ... Without saying goodbye on time, he will be saddened by our absence. This sadness can be felt unconsciously (in the earthly world and in the body) by the Soul of living people (although in its own world it feels consciously). But do we have organs to see something internal and hear it if we are blind and deaf? We are those of whom it can be said - "having no eyes to see" and "having no ears to hear." We need a healer so that we gain Insight in many things.

New topic.

For me personally, Numberology was such a healer. it is the science of the Wholeness of the World, of its not divided into parts, Nature.

We must always remember that the ultimate goal (wholeness) of our life is death. But death is not the End (not the number 3).

Death is a transition (number 4), but the transition to where?

The Numberology method will allow you to answer this question, but this will be a new topic. In it, I will try to highlight the path along which our further existence, connected with the number 5, will continue, because. we celebrate the fourth commemoration a year later, and the year is equal to the number 365, as the number of total consecutive days. This number points to the number 5, as the sum 365 = 3 + 6 + 5 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5.

The commemoration as a word (the sum of the serial numbers of the letters of the alphabet) indicates the number 4, because P 17 + O 16 + M 14 + And 10 + H 15 + K 12 + And 10 as a result give the sum = 94, which is 9 + 4 = 13, or 1 + 3 = 4

Wake is an action that is performed to honor the memory of a deceased person. The core of the commemoration is a common meal, which is arranged by relatives in the house of the deceased, in a cemetery or elsewhere.

Wakes are held several times:

• on the day of death of a relative or the next day;
• on the third day after death - the soul of the deceased leaves this world and ascends to heaven (as a rule, this day coincides with the day of the funeral);
• on the ninth day;
• on the fortieth day;
• further funeral meals are made six months from the date of death, and then all subsequent anniversaries.

As a rule, family members of the deceased and his friends take part in the commemoration. At the wake of the ninth day, for example, you can come without an invitation. You can not drive away those who wanted to take part in this ritual. But it is important to remember that the commemoration is not organized for the sake of those invited, and the laid table is not their main component. People come to them not to relieve themselves of negative emotions, stress, and even more so not to chat on abstract topics. The main thing at the wake is a prayer for the deceased. It is very good, before starting a meal, to read the 17th Kathisma from the Psalter. And before eating, everyone should read the prayer "Our Father."

Postponement of the date of commemoration

It often happens that the days of commemoration fall either on a weekday, when it is impossible to leave work to prepare everything for them, or on some religious holiday. In this regard, the question arises as to whether it is possible to postpone the date of the obligatory commemoration, to make them either earlier or later than the deadline.

The clergy believe that it is not necessary to have a memorial meal on the anniversary of death. If there are objective reasons that prevent this from being done, then you need to focus on them first of all.

It is undesirable to commemorate the dead during the week of Easter, as well as during the Passion Week of Great Lent. At this time, all thoughts should be directed: in Passion Week - to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, in Easter week - to the joy of the news of his resurrection. So, if the date of the commemoration fell on these periods, it would be most correct to transfer them to Radonitsa - the day of commemoration of the dead.

If the commemoration date falls on Christmas Eve, it would be better to move it to January 8th. This is even considered a good sign, since the commemoration is essentially dedicated to the fact of birth already in eternal life.

The clergy also advise not to forget the fact that prayer for them is primarily important for our deceased relatives. Therefore, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the repose of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida on the Day of his remembrance in the temple the day before the commemoration. It is advisable to pray for the deceased. And the commemoration itself can be moved to the next day off after the anniversary of death. But it is not recommended to postpone the date of the commemoration on the fortieth day to an earlier date in Orthodoxy.

Memorial Day

In various religions, there are certain days when you can commemorate your dead. If for some reason it was not possible to commemorate your loved ones at the right time, you can always do this on the day of commemoration, the date of which is different in different religions:

1. In Orthodoxy, as mentioned above, this is Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week after Easter. It should be noted that this is not the only day of commemoration in Orthodoxy. In addition to Radonitsa, there are five more similar dates.
2. In Catholicism, All Souls' Day falls on November 2nd. Wake on the third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
3. In Islam, it does not matter on what day, you need to remember the deceased. The main thing is to remember him with prayer and together with his family to do good deeds on his behalf - to distribute alms, to take care of orphans. But the main thing is to remain secret on whose behalf these actions are performed.
4. In Buddhism, the festival of Ulamban is celebrated, which takes place in the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar. Dedicated to the memory of the dead.

Almost everyone knows that they need to commemorate their dead, but often people forget how and why this is done. There is a connection between the dead and those who remained on earth. Therefore, people whose relative has died are in a state of sadness and anxiety for a long time, they have dreams about the dead, in which they most often ask for food or do something for them.

As a rule, after such dreams, there is a need to commemorate them, the need to visit the temple, the need to do some good deeds (for example, give alms). All this has a beneficial effect on the souls of the departed. The impossibility of holding a funeral ceremony on the same day is not a problem, since you can always leave a note in the temple and the clergyman will conduct it for you.

Our spiritual state affects the state of the dead in the other world, and in order to help them, we must begin to change ourselves and our surroundings. You can get rid of a bad habit, forgive those for whom resentment has been accumulating inside for a very long time, and start reading the Bible.

When conducting a commemoration ritual, it is always necessary to keep in mind its goal - by making a joint prayer, asking the Lord to grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven and repose his Soul.

How to commemorate the dead? Is it possible to submit a note of repose if it is not known for sure whether a person was baptized? The answers to these questions are in our article!

How to commemorate the dead?

Father! Help! My mother passed away ... During this difficult time, dad was in the hospital, and all the worries fell on my husband and I. They buried her well, and death made her outwardly even more beautiful - no matter how wild it may sound. I feel such a loss and such pain that it seems that it will never go away. Yes, and there are many worries - dad needs to be helped to recover after the operation, it is most difficult for him: I fulfilled my daughter's duty, and he lost half of himself. Mom confessed and took communion before her death, and dad too - before he went to the hospital, he did this at his mother's request and for the first time in his life. Mom rarely confessed, but she prepared for this confession and wanted it. Her last week had been without sleep and filled with pain. But my mother refused painkillers, leaving with the prayer "Lord, receive my soul" ... in my arms. Is it possible that mother will remain our mother after death and will help us, pray to God for us? I really miss her, although I understand that everything is the will of our God and I pray for the repose of her soul. Elena.

Hello dear Elena!

Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother. Of course, it is very difficult when a person close to us dies, especially mommy, your pain and sorrow are quite understandable and natural. Of course, even after death your mother will remain your mother, very often a feeling of spiritual connection with our deceased relatives remains. But right now, your mother needs, first of all, your prayers for her, so it is very good that you are praying for her. I would advise you to read the Psalter about your mother, maybe you are already doing it (usually they read one kathisma a day for the first 40 days after death). We will also pray for your mother, so that the Lord forgives her voluntary and involuntary sins and grants the Kingdom of Heaven!

Help you Lord!

Hello. I learned about this story not so long ago. My maternal grandfather was baptized. But he committed suicide, although he is buried in a regular cemetery. How to pray for suicides, are there any rules for this: what prayers can be read about forgiveness and salvation of their souls, is it possible to submit notes in the temple, etc.? And what and when can one read about the repose and salvation of the souls of deceased unbelieving or unbelieving relatives in general? Andrey.

Hello Andrei!

You can pray for grandfather in your own words, asking the Lord to forgive him his sins, church prayer for suicides (submission of notes for Liturgy, memorial services) is not possible. It will be very good if in memory of your grandfather you will do some good deeds and give all possible alms.

As for your second question, if your relatives were baptized, you can and should pray for them both at home and in the church, filing a commemoration of them for the general church prayer at the liturgy and memorial services. If they weren't baptized, pray for them the same way you would for your grandfather.

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Father, hello! Please answer this question. Grandfather died, but we do not know whether he was baptized or not. How to pray for him? Is it possible to submit notes about his repose in the church? In the lectures of A.I. Osipov says that you can pray in the temple for everyone, even the unbaptized, just do not submit registered notes, and in another Orthodox program they said that it was impossible to pray for the unbaptized (both for health and for repose). How to proceed? Our grandfather was a good man, he lived like a Christian. Catherine.

Catherine!

I advise you to listen to the opinion of the professor: the temple of God is a house of prayer for everyone and for everyone. Remember him in prayers at home and in the church, and do not write in notes, since the Eucharist is celebrated only for those who have become members of the Body of Christ (Church) through Baptism.

Dear father! I would like to know about the rules of the Orthodox rite of repose. Is it obligatory for the newly deceased to spend the night before burial in the temple? Where should the coffin be nailed up (after the funeral service or in the cemetery)? Is it necessary to commemorate a person in a cemetery? Is the grave visited on the second day? Should there be artificial flower wreaths? Should there be farewell music, and is it necessary, when carrying the body, to throw flowers in front of the coffin? Thank you in advance. Photinia.

Death and afterlife are determined solely by the life of the deceased - except that prayer can change something. In the same vain folk rites and their details for the deceased there is absolutely no meaning. That's why:

1. The point is not that the dead body will lie overnight in the church - in the old days this was done only so that as many relatives as possible could participate in the funeral prayer, which continued over the coffin all night and ended in the morning with the funeral Liturgy and the funeral service. If we are not talking about the all-night prayer and the Liturgy, then there is no point in keeping the body in the temple.

2. In ancient times, burial was performed without a wooden coffin - the deceased, wrapped in shrouds, was carried on a board to the cemetery and lowered into the grave (which was called the “coffin”). Therefore, in modern conditions it would be wiser to close the coffin in the temple, especially since the justifications for a different course of action are completely meaningless - a dead body cannot either “look at the sun for the last time” or “say goodbye to the house”.

3. The commemoration of an Orthodox Christian is performed by prayer: for this, a funeral service is performed. As for folk commemorations, which are not connected in any way with prayer and the Church, it is better to perform them at home, since there are cases when, after an abundant commemoration, songs and dances began at the graves.

4. Visiting the graves of loved ones is by no means limited to the Church. Want? Go and pray - how much and when the soul asks. And without prayer, it is better not to walk, because despondency develops from this.

5. Live flowers are preferable because they symbolize the brevity of human life.

6. At Christian funerals, it is better to do without music.

7. What's the point of throwing flowers? It is better to spend these funds on alms or charity.

Sincerely, Priest Alexy Kolosov

Good evening! I would like to ask you why it is considered paganism to bring any food to the cemetery (people say that this is, as it were, in commemoration of the deceased)? Alexander.

Hello, Alexander!

Meals in cemeteries are a pre-Christian pagan tradition that has nothing to do with Orthodoxy. In Soviet times, this tradition was resurrected, because it was necessary to replace with something the church prayer for the dead, which should be performed on the graves of the dead on this day. Prayer was forbidden just as belief in God was outlawed. But the people have not forgotten the Christian traditions of commemoration of the dead, in which there is also a place for a memorial meal. True, unlike the pagan tradition, Christians never made these meals in the cemetery. Even St. John Chrysostom, who lived in the 4th century, mentioned in his writings about prayer for the dead in cemeteries on days of special commemoration of the departed. Godless authorities in the 20th century. decided to replace the prayer with a memorial meal at the cemetery, where there was a place not only for food, but also for the obligatory drink. The dead were commemorated not with prayer, but with alcohol. Hence the traditional 3 glasses “so that the earth is down” and a glass of vodka “for the dead” on the grave. It is not surprising that such “gatherings” in cemeteries often looked like ordinary drinking parties with all the ensuing consequences. Unfortunately, many people still take all this for granted and continue to pay tribute to pagan traditions.

Hello! My mother died 20 years ago. I was not at the funeral due to my small age, and my mother dreamed about me all week after her death. And only 15 years later, dreams about her reappeared. In them, she came home, asking questions about the life of close relatives. I enthusiastically talked about everything, after that I woke up in a great mood - as if talking with her. When they told me that her soul was restless and that it was necessary to light a candle for her repose, I did it. And I never dreamed of her again. Is it just a coincidence or not? And another situation. The day before yesterday I buried my grandmother, who raised me. I went to see her as soon as they said she was dying. But still, she did not have time to say goodbye to her and call the priest to take communion with her. When I was on the train, I dreamed about her. I spoke to her at her house. What could this dream mean. Did she say goodbye to me or is it a figment of my fantasies? Julia.

Hello Julia!

Do not look for interpretations of your dreams. These are just dreams. In the first case, you did everything right, prayer is necessary for the departed. Whether they dream or not. Note - not just a candle, but a prayer. Pray yourself and order church services. But just do not listen to the "teachings" about the restlessness of the soul. Only the Lord knows about this. In the second case, I think that this is the fruit of your worries about your grandmother.

Sincerely, priest Dionisy Svechnikov

Hello! It will soon be a year since a loved one passed away. The date of this event falls on a business day. Is it possible to transfer the day of the commemoration to a day off (Saturday or Sunday) and when is it right to organize a commemoration: before or after the date of the anniversary? Alexander.

Hello, Alexander!

First of all, our deceased relatives need our prayer for them. Therefore, if the deceased was an Orthodox Christian, try to go to the temple on the eve of the anniversary and submit a note for the Liturgy for the repose of his soul, order a memorial service for the day of the anniversary. On this day, also try to pray for the deceased, for example, read the rite of lithium performed by a layman (you can find the text here: http://www.molitvoslov.com/text233.htm)

A commemoration can be moved to a day off after the anniversary of death.

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Please tell me what to do if you want to file a commemoration of the repose of the deceased, without knowing his church name? I wanted to file a commemoration of the deceased at the local church, knowing only his worldly name. And here I was told that I needed to know his church name. But I didn't even know him personally. It was just that the man was good, and I wanted to remember the deceased. His worldly name is Ratmir. I will be very grateful to you if my question is not left without attention. Galina.

Hello Galina!

You were answered quite correctly in the temple: in order to commemorate the deceased in the temple, you need to know the name that was given to him at baptism. If there is no way to find out what name Ratmir was baptized with, then remember him in your home prayer, do some good deeds in his memory, give alms. Believe, the Lord hears your prayer and accepts it, seeing your sincerity.

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Good afternoon I have several questions. 1. What are the services for the repose in the temple, and what is the difference between them? 2. I have heard that prayer during the liturgy is very beneficial for the soul of a dead person. To the question “How much is it necessary and possible to order such commemorations at the liturgy” in the temple, they answered me that it all depends on my love for this person and my financial condition. Tell me, who generally sets the “price” for various services and why are they so? Thank you in advance for your replies. Alexander.

Hello, Alexander!

You can pray for the repose of the dead at the Liturgy, a memorial service (or a shorter litiya) can be performed for them, and the Psalter can be read.

Indeed, the most important prayer is at the Liturgy - the main divine service for Christians, during which we partake of the Body and Blood of the Lord.

Panikhida is a special service in which we pray only for the departed, it is simply a joint prayer, composed according to a special order, it is performed separately at the request of the worshipers or on specially established days of commemoration of the departed (parental Saturdays).

The reading of the Psalter can be performed by everyone (unlike the Liturgy and memorial services, which are performed only by priests), but since we do not always have the opportunity to pray for the dead ourselves, the reading of the Psalter is organized in monasteries and churches with the commemoration of everyone for whom it was ordered.

For the departed, who can no longer pray for themselves, it is very important to pray for them, both for you and for the whole Church. But there is no set number of prayers, Liturgies, after which the souls of the departed would “automatically” go to heaven. We do not know God's Judgment about them, and therefore we pray for them on every occasion, for example, by submitting a note with their names to the church at every Liturgy we attend.

Why do we pray for others? This is a manifestation of our love for them, isn't it? True love is always shown in deeds. Our prayer for our neighbors is also a matter. But often we want to do more. That is why there is a tradition of giving alms in memory of someone, doing some good deeds, asking those around us to pray for our relatives and friends. This is how we show our love both to those we help and to the departed, sacrificing something not for ourselves, but for them.

Prayer is not a commodity, and there are no and cannot be any prices for prayer. We do not buy in the Church a prayer for neighbors, the grace of God, the remission of sins, but we donate some money, try to understand the difference between these concepts. In many temples, there is simply a mug where everyone puts money as much as possible. And somewhere the DESIRED AMOUNT of donations is indicated, although no one should refuse you if you do not have money. On the issue of money in the Church, I advise you to read the article by Deacon Andrei Kuraev “Where does the Church get money from” (for example, here: http://www.pravbeseda.ru/library/index.php?page=book&id=580); it is difficult to fully cover this issue within the scope of the letter.

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

My son died, a year and ten months old. I have several questions.

1) How to pray for the repose of a baby? All prayers that I find contain a request for the forgiveness of sins.

2) I can't stop caring about him. What else—besides praying—can I do for him?

3) How do Orthodox women wear mourning, how long, do all clothes have to be black?

4) I want to get pregnant again as soon as possible - are there any restrictions in this situation?

Thank you very much for your answer. Natalia.

Hello Natalia!

Please accept our condolences on your loss. If you managed to baptize a child, you need to perform the rite of burial of an infant in the temple. Also, if he is baptized, you can and should pray for him not only at home, but also in the temple. For the laity, there is really only one prayer of parents for their deceased children, containing petitions for the forgiveness of sins. There are special prayers for babies only for priests, in the rite of burial of an infant. You can read the available prayer, omitting the petitions that confuse you. For an infant who has not been vouchsafed holy baptism, they pray to the martyr Huar. Below is the text of the prayer. Mourning these days is not as strictly regulated as it was in the past. But usually it lasts from 40 days to a year. The Church does not impose restrictions on the conception of a new child.

Sincerely, Priest Mikhail Samokhin

Prayer to the Holy Martyr Uar

Oh, holy martyr Uare, venerable! We inflame the Lord Christ with zeal, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you zealously suffered for Him, and now the Church honors you, as if glorified from the Lord Christ with the glory of heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness towards Him, and now stand before Him with the angels, and rejoice in the highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance. Remember our relatives and languor, who died in ungodliness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatra, the unfaithful family freed you from eternal torment with your prayers, so remember the figurines buried contrary to God, who died unbaptized, trying to ask them for deliverance from eternal darkness, but with one mouth and one let us praise with our hearts the most merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen.

Have you read the article How to commemorate the dead? Read also.

The day of death is considered the first day, that is, the day on which a person died, and will be considered the day of his memory in a year, and in 10, and in 20 years. On this day, you must definitely visit the church in order to pray for the deceased, and after the completion of the service, ask the priest to serve a memorial service.

First of all, you need to pray for the deceased, and only then celebrate a memorial meal, which is not so important, although it is not superfluous.

One should always pray for the departed, but especially on the days of their remembrance. According to church tradition, the days of remembrance of the dead - the day of birth and the day of death, are usually celebrated annually. On the day of remembrance, one should definitely pray for the Divine Liturgy for the repose of the deceased, serve a memorial service for him, and then you can celebrate a memorial meal.

When to celebrate the anniversary of death?

It is better to celebrate the anniversary of death in due time, however, in the life of each person there may be many reasons why you have to postpone the date of the memorial day. In such cases, it is possible to postpone the memorial day, but it is necessary to honor the day of death by visiting the temple, serve a memorial service and celebrate the smallest memorial meal in the home circle of the closest people.

On major church holidays, it is not customary to commemorate the dead, since nothing mournful should distract from such holidays. Therefore, the day of remembrance is usually transferred to another close day after the holiday. And if the years fall on Easter, then they are held after the end of Bright Week.

In a number of tragic cases, the day of death has to be set conditionally, which greatly worries people close to the deceased. However, the church advises not to attach too much importance to dates. There is nothing wrong with establishing a conditional starting point, because, for example, the exact date of the death of many saints is unknown, and how many missing people exist who were never found.

The duty of the living, according to Christian beliefs, is to pray for the deceased (and this must be done not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary ones), funeral church services are also called to ask for the forgiveness of his sins, and then it becomes possible to change his afterlife fate by forgiving even grave sins.

On the anniversary of death, people close to the deceased pray for him, thus expressing the belief that the day of death is not the day of destruction, but the new birth of the deceased for eternal life, the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to completely different conditions, where there are no earthly sorrows, illnesses and adversity.

And yet, the days of remembrance must be met and seen off, only in a state of good mood, not to hold a grudge against anyone, and even more so for a deceased person. On memorial days, it is also customary to distribute alms to needy people, commemorate the dead at a meal, and donate to monasteries so that they pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased.

In a narrow circle, the anniversary of death is celebrated. How to remember who to invite, what menu to make - organizational issues excite the family of the deceased. Deeds of mercy, prayers, a visit to the cemetery should honor the memory of the deceased.

Wake (or commemoration, remembrance) is a ritual in memory of a deceased person. Usually commemoration is carried out by relatives, if there are none, close people, friends.

The tradition of commemoration arose in connection with Christian teaching. Each religion has its own rites of remembrance of people. Adapted folk consciousness often combines several beliefs into one ritual.

Christian traditions are fundamental in Russia. Nevertheless, according to Orthodox rules (with funeral commemorations, prayers), only people who have undergone the rite of baptism are commemorated. The exceptions are suicides, unbaptized, non-Orthodox, heretics - the church does not pray for them.

Commemoration dates

In Orthodoxy, commemoration after death is held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual is a memorial meal. Relatives, acquaintances gather at a common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from life. Dishes from the funeral table are distributed to friends, acquaintances, colleagues of the deceased, so that they remember him.

On the day of the funeral, everyone who wants to honor the memory of the deceased gathers. The Christian is first taken to the burial rite in the church or chapel of the cemetery. The unbaptized dead, after parting with the house, are immediately taken to the cemetery. The burial takes place according to the traditions of the region in which the person lived. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake.

On the 9th day after death, only close relatives are called to honor the memory of the deceased. The commemoration is reminiscent of a family dinner, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is not far from the refectory table. Next to the picture of the deceased put a glass of water or vodka, a slice of bread. This is a pagan tradition, unacceptable to Christians.

On the 40th day everyone is invited. On this day, those who could not attend the funeral usually come to the wake.

Then comes the anniversary of the death. How to remember who to invite is decided by the relatives of the deceased. Usually they call on the anniversary of the death of the closest friends, relatives.

Christian traditions of commemoration

According to the Christian faith, commemoration on the 3rd day after death is performed in honor of the resurrection of Christ (on the 3rd day after the execution). On the 9th day - in honor of the angelic ranks who ask the Lord to have mercy on the deceased. On the 40th day - in honor of the ascension of the Lord.

Church tradition says that the soul has been wandering since the day of death. Until the 40th day, she is preparing for the decision of God. The first 3 days after death, the soul visits the places of earthly life, close people. Then she flies around the heavenly abodes from the 3rd to the 9th day. Then he sees the torment of sinners in hell from 9 to 40 days.

The decision of God takes place on the 40th day. A directive is issued about where the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

The beginning of a new, eternal life is the anniversary of death. How to commemorate the deceased, whom to invite, what to order - these are important organizational issues. It is necessary to prepare for the day of remembrance in advance.

Anniversary of death: how to remember

The mourning date is reported only to those whom the family of the deceased wants to see on the anniversary. These should be the closest and dearest people, friends of the deceased. It is necessary to clarify who will be able to come. Knowing the number of guests will help to correctly compose the menu. In case of an unforeseen arrival of one of your friends, make portioned dishes 1-2 more.

On the anniversary of death, you should come to the cemetery, visit the grave of the deceased. After that, all relatives and friends are invited to a memorial dinner. It should be noted that the days of commemoration are at the discretion of the family of the deceased. Subsequent discussions by strangers about the correctness of the ritual are inappropriate.

The anniversary of death is approaching. How to remember how to set the table? It is important to note that such events are conveniently held in small cafes. This will save the owners from the exhausting preparation of various dishes and subsequent tidying up in the apartment.

Christians order special memorial services in the church. You should discuss in advance with the priest all the activities that need to be carried out. You can limit yourself to home reading of akathists, memorial prayers, invite the priest to the house.

Who to invite?

In a close family circle, there is a commemoration, the anniversary of death. How to remember who to call is discussed by relatives in advance. It is customary to invite only those whom you want to see for the holidays.

Unwanted visitors may unexpectedly descend on the anniversary of death. The family of the deceased must make a decision - to leave an unwanted guest for a memorial dinner or not to invite to the table at all. The anniversary of death is an event only for the closest people.

Don't have a crowded gathering. A mourning date, the memory of the deceased is not a reason for a noisy party. A modest family dinner, warm memories of the deceased - this is how the anniversary of death passes. How to commemorate - decide the next of kin of the deceased. A leisurely, calm atmosphere, quiet music, photographs of the deceased are a worthy way to honor the memory.

How to dress properly?

Clothing for the anniversary of death is of no small importance. If a trip to the cemetery is planned before the memorial dinner, weather conditions should be taken into account. To visit the church, women need to prepare a headdress (shawl).

For all funeral events, dress strictly. Shorts, deep neckline, bows and ruffles will look indecent. Bright, colorful colors are best avoided. Business, office suits, closed shoes, strict dresses in muted colors are the appropriate choice for a mourning date.

How to commemorate the anniversary of death? Good memories in a close circle. You can give alms - pies, sweets, things of the deceased.

Cemetery visit

For years, you should definitely visit the cemetery. If weather conditions do not allow (heavy rain, snowstorm) it can be done on another day. You should arrive at the cemetery in the first half of the day.

The grave of the deceased must be monitored. Timely paint the fence, you can put a small table and bench. Plant flowers, weed out unnecessary weeds that give the grave an untidy look. This is the anniversary of death ... How to remember a person? Clean up on his grave, light candles in special cups, lay fresh flowers.

According to Christian traditions, in the 19th century, the synod banned wreaths with inscriptions from fake flowers. Such layings distract from prayers for the soul of the deceased.

You can bring tea, alcohol, pies, sweets with you to the grave. Modestly commemorating the deceased, pouring the remnants of alcohol on the grave, pouring crumbs - this is a symbol of the presence of the deceased next to the living. This pagan tradition at the wake is followed by many families.

In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to the grave. Only fresh flowers and prayers should commemorate the dead.

How to set the table

Table setting for the commemoration is standard. The only difference is to put an even number of dishes on the table. Forks on mourning dates are usually excluded. Such a moment in time is at the discretion of the family of the deceased.

Dishes, in addition to those required on the funeral table, are prepared in accordance with the preferences of the deceased. You can add mourning ribbons to the interior, light candles.

For the Orthodox - to consecrate the kutya in the church. Exclude alcohol, stick to modest and fasting days - build on them when compiling the menu. Pay more attention not to eating, but to prayers for the deceased.

Death Anniversary Menu

Like ordinary commemoration, the anniversary of death is celebrated. How to remember what to cook? Kissel, kutia, pancakes are considered obligatory on the memorial table. The symbol of Christianity is fish dishes - these can be pies, cold appetizers, smoked meats.

From salads, you can cook vinaigrette, beets with garlic, vegetable caviar. Serve sauerkraut, pickled cucumbers and mushrooms. Sandwiches with sprats, baked cheese. Meat and cheese slices.

For hot dishes, fried or baked chicken (rabbit, goose, duck, turkey) is suitable. Cutlets or steaks, French meat or chop, stuffed vegetables or lamb stew. For garnish - boiled potatoes, vegetable stew, fried eggplant.

In the form of a dessert - gingerbread, sweet pies, pancakes, cheesecakes, sweets, fruits and apples. Drinks - purchased juices or home-cooked compote, jelly, lemonade.

Exclude sparkling and sweet wines from the menu, as it is not a happy holiday, but the anniversary of death. How to remember? Give preference to strong drinks (vodka, cognac, whiskey), dry red wines. During a table conversation, it is customary to remember the deceased, his good deeds on earth.

Wake in the cafe

To exclude the bulk purchase of products, cooking, table setting and subsequent tidying up, you can order a small room in a cafe. So that the anniversary of death passes in a calm atmosphere. How to remember what to order - the cafe staff will help. Their menu is not much different from homemade.

You should notify the cafe staff in advance that guests will gather for a wake. The administrator will try to keep too cheerful visitors as far as possible from the relatives of the deceased (if we are talking about the common room).

Usually, it is customary to book a small banquet hall for years. Then the festive-minded neighbors will not interfere with the quiet mood of the death anniversary.

If you are not attracted by the cafe, but you want a cozy, homely atmosphere, you can order lunch at home. Coordinate the menu in advance, set the time and address of delivery.

Anniversary of death: how to remember in church

According to Christian beliefs, the duty of the living is to pray for the deceased. Then the gravest sins can be forgiven. Church funeral services are called to ask for the forgiveness of the sins of the departed. Not only on the days of commemoration, but also on ordinary days, you can order a Panikhida.

During the Divine Liturgy, prayers for the departed are heard. Immediately before the Liturgy (or in advance, in the evening), a note is submitted in which the names of the deceased Christians are inscribed. During the Liturgy, all names are pronounced.

You can order a magpie about the deceased. This is a commemoration for 40 days before the Liturgy. Sorokoust is also ordered for a longer period - a commemoration for six months or a year.

An ordinary candle for the repose of the soul is also a memory of the deceased. In home prayers, you can commemorate the deceased. There is a special Christian book - a commemoration book, where the names of the deceased should be entered.

During a visit to the cemetery, Christians read an akathist, perform a litiya (it is also performed before a memorial dinner, for which a priest is invited).

Distribution of alms

On memorial days, attention should be paid to works of mercy. Funeral dishes can be presented to those in need, acquaintances, colleagues. This is done so that as many people as possible remember the deceased with a kind word.

A good occasion for charity is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased? You can distribute money, sweets, cookies to the poor at the church and ask them to pray for the deceased, donate money for the construction of the temple. Needy acquaintances are usually given the things of the deceased.

Charity is a good deed towards the poor. Therefore, the family of the deceased does not have to distribute food, money to the poor at the church. You can find people in your environment (pensioners, large families) who will need real help. Or take a small offering to a nursing home, boarding school, orphanage.

The order of the anniversary of death

1. Notify in advance of the approach of the mourning date, invite relatives and friends of the deceased.
2. Choose a cafe or organize an event at home.
3. Visit the cemetery, the grave of the deceased.
4. To honor the memory of the deceased with a memorial dinner.
5. Distribute charity to those in need.