Explanatory chief joke. Jokes - pictures, video jokes, funny stories and anecdotes

Explanatory note for being constantly late

I'm late for several reasons. I drive a car - the road is unpredictable and I consider it the height of idiocy to risk my life for the sake of 10 minutes of working time. Since see paragraph 2 I do not smoke, and this suggests that, unlike 90% of the office staff, instead of 5 smoke breaks for 10 minutes, or rather 50 minutes a day, while the rest kick the bulldozer, I am on my workplace and WORK! Further, see item 3 Since I am a responsible person, at least 2 times a month I have to sit at work until 23-00 (then the office closes) and WORK! Because those who smoke 50 minutes a day for a month accumulate 16 hours and fail to cope with their work let me down. So 16 hours of smoke break + 8 hours of processing = 24 hours per month I WORK more than anyone else in our office, and I am late by a maximum of 2 hours per month. If management sees no economic benefit in my lateness, they can fire me and find another more punctual employee. I wish that he was a smoker and, coming to work on time, “stealed” you every month for 2 working days.

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Yuri's explanatory note

I was late for work because of a healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but because I had no cigarettes, they gave me a hard blow on the tambourine. I went to the infirmary, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. Therefore, I smell of alcohol, my face is broken, and poor speech and impaired coordination of movement are the result of a concussion! I did not drink, honestly.

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Explanatory note of the chief accountant

I was three hours late, because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The result was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get in position.

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Explanatory Michael

I confess that I was late for work by 6 hours due to the fact that yesterday I was late for a tasting of a new line of products from the Kristall plant. In the morning, from 8-00 to 14-00, I remembered where I work, until my mother came and prompted me. I dare to assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because. I prudently scribbled the work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.

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Sergey's explanatory note

I was late for work for half an hour, because anyway I won’t do anything until ten, we drink tea in the morning, but so much doesn’t fit into me.
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Anna's explanatory note

I am systematically late, because I think that everything related to work should be approached systematically.

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Explanatory Deniska

I was not late, but adjusted my working day today to adequately inadequate yesterday's and inversely proportional to normalized.

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Explanatory Paul

On September 8, 2006, he was late for work, because before taking his child to kindergarten, he had an itch at the most inopportune time for the most unsuitable need. The delay time corresponds to the duration of the same physiological process. This case can be attributed to force majeure circumstances, i.e. "force majeure", as they do not depend on my Desire to be in time for work.

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Explanatory Victor

I'm late because you haven't paid your salary on time for a month! You will be indignant, I will quit altogether!

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Explanatory note of Yuri Yurievich

I'm late for the service. The reasons for this unseemly act are very mysterious and rather rooted in the realm of the irrational, therefore I am unable to give any acceptable explanation for what happened. As a person of fine mental organization, I cannot but feel the full depth of my fall, but the same reason will hardly allow me to even think about a possible relapse.
I suggest:
1. Consider what happened as a misunderstanding.
2. Treat me condescendingly, especially since I have already received my portion of mental torment (see above).

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Explanatory newbie

I am a newbie, working in your company for the second day. Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and came to my old job. And only by the surprised look of my former director, I realized that I had come to the wrong place. Comment: Everyone was crying.

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Explanatory Sergo

I was late, because I drank very, very hot tea, my bladder burst and I scalded my legs.

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Explanatory loader

Yesterday my wife was fired from her job for drinking! And this is after 10 years of life spent on this work. We decided to celebrate it. And today I got caught at the entrance of the factory. Therefore, I was late.

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Explanatory note of the senior warrant officer

I, the senior senior warrant officer of the special forces Matveev, can explain the following about being late for work. As always, I woke up at 5.30, ran a 10 km cross, did 200 push-ups, pulled myself up 100 times, and then took an ice-cold shower. Then I had breakfast, polished my boots, stroked the camouflage, put it on, put on my unloading gear, equipped it with clips, grenades, took a pistol, machine gun, put on a helmet, applied war paint, put on gloves, looked in the mirror before leaving ... and shit myself!

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Late for work paid the phone bill. I thought it was business for 5 minutes, and there are crazy money with printouts ...

Dear director. Yesterday we sat for a long time with friends and thought about the meaning of life. We came to a definite conclusion! There is absolutely no point in coming to work on time.

I'm late for the service. The reasons for this unseemly act are very mysterious and rather rooted in the realm of the irrational, therefore I am unable to give any acceptable explanation for what happened.

I was late for work by 2 hours 04 minutes, the editor-in-chief recorded this fact and hypothesized that this was due to alcohol abuse the night before.

I was three hours late, because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together.

In obedience to the herd mentality and good mood, I, like half of my fellow students, was late for work today.

Today, September 10, I was late for work because I could not get out of the car on Volgogradsky Prospekt, I had to go to the final one, while the traffic jam cleared on the way back.

I was two hours late for work because in a dream, I dreamed that I woke up, washed my face, drank a cup of tea as usual, went to the parking lot, warmed up the car and arrived at the office at 8-30 for a planning meeting.

Today, as always, I set the alarm clock for fifteen minutes of the allotted time, and, surprisingly, I woke up, but the time and effort spent on make-up and dress code selection were not wasted, because after looking in a large mirror before going out, I was convinced of my irresistibility.

I was late for work on September 6, 2006, because we had a fly in our apartment that kept me awake all night and all morning.

I was not late, but adjusted my working day today to adequately inadequate yesterday's and in inverse proportion to normalized.

I ask you to forgive me and understand, I was not going to be absent from work yesterday, but it happened. You see, in the morning I woke up very early, and realized that I couldn’t come to work so early, they simply wouldn’t understand me, and I decided to take a nap.

I was late for work by almost 1 (one) hour, due to an unfortunate set of circumstances due to nightly increased wind and precipitation, the tram line, through which I get to the metro, was partially blocked, and I had to walk.

Yesterday, Monday, I was unable to reach my duty station due to fluctuations in the Earth's gravitational field.

When I woke up at 6 o'clock in the morning, it was dark outside the window, and I thought that it was seven o'clock in the evening, and I fell asleep in the afternoon and set the alarm incorrectly.

I was late for work on May 6, 2005. The delay was due to the fact that, due to my psychosomatic anomalies, since about 1995, I have been systematically communicating with demons.

I was in a hurry so much that I stalled when turning to work due to heavy ice - it was washed up to the house.

I was late for work for 6 hours and 17 minutes for a reason: all night I educated myself and improved my skills. When I woke up in the morning I realized that I had not slept at all and decided to sleep more.

On September 8, 2006, he was late for work, because before taking his child to kindergarten, he had an itch at the most inopportune time for the most unsuitable need.

I was 22 minutes late for work on September 7, 2006 because in the process of moving to the place of work, she noticed thickening rain clouds and stopped to disperse the clouds.

Yesterday I already wanted to leave work, but suddenly I felt like going to the toilet for the most part. The guard thought that everyone had already left and locked me up.

I was late for work because when I left my porch in the morning, I noticed that a bird had shit on me, I got terribly angry and immediately returned home, washed my hair again and did my hair.

Arrived late to work because I slept on the job and saw how Microsoft went bankrupt. Couldn't help but watch.

I'm late because you haven't paid your salary on time for a month! You will be indignant - in general I will quit!

I was late to the office for 40 minutes, because I was stuck in our elevator with the most interesting person, these 40 minutes opened up new opportunities in me.

I was absent from work until 14.45 due to the fact that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was late for work due to the fact that the zipper on the fly of my jeans was rusty, which I fastened for a long time and hard after I went to the toilet before leaving the house.

I was late for work because of a healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but because I had no cigarettes, they gave me a hard blow on the tambourine.

I was late for work for half an hour, because anyway I won’t do anything until ten, we drink tea in the morning, but so much doesn’t fit into me.

Late for work by 6 hours 11 minutes on December 25, 2005 for a good reason. I made a bet with my neighbors from apartment 165 of my house for a box of vodka that I would overtake the icebreaker Lenin on the ice.

I was late for work due to the fact that my headlights went out on my car and I waited until dawn.

Today, February 8, I was 4 hours late for work, because in the morning I climbed into a porn site and got very carried away. As a result, my hands ached and trembled, and I could not get dressed.

I was late for the formation of the regiment due to the sudden onset of profuse diarrhea.

I was late for work by 3 hours and 40 minutes due to the fact that after a sleepless night I was driving to work on the subway and fell asleep on the ring line, drove past my station three or four times.

At night, a bat was found in the apartment, which scared me very much, I had to wait until dawn, locking myself in the bathroom (because I heard that in the light of day they go to bed.

I was late for work due to the fact that I had a dream in which I had sexual contact with two girls of model appearance.

Yesterday, Friday the 13th, I was late for work due to the fact that my mother bought a new carpet, and her beloved dog Pusichka had diarrhea.

I came to work 3 hours late and smelled of alcohol because of the good neighborly relations prevailing in our house.

I was late for work because of my wife. In the morning, at the appointed time, the alarm rang, which woke my wife. She doesn't like my alarm clock, so she threw it away and hit me on the head, which made me pass out for a couple more hours.

At my previous job, I held a managerial position, and the boss, as you know, is not late, but delayed.

Today, just like on previous days, I was late for work due to moral fatigue and extreme spiritual exhaustion.

Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and came to my old job.

Today, such and such, Friday, I was 5 hours late for work because I thought it was Saturday.

Suddenly a song about white boats started and I decided to finally listen to it from beginning to end, since I had never been able to do it before.

I was late for work due to the fact that all night my friends and I moved houses with the power of thought.

I, Aleksandr Aleksandrovich Yurkin, on February 10, 2005, was late for work by 29 minutes 13.9 seconds, because I was late for work. at the exit from my entrance, a hurricane rose, I was carried away to the mountains, where I met a tin woodcutter and a girl named Ellie.

I was 4 hours late for work because in the morning I helped a neighbor take away a bottle of vodka from her husband.

I was late for work on purpose. I wanted to see how things would turn out.

Late due to old age.

I was late for work, because, moving in a private car in the general stream of cars towards the office, I imagined myself as an excellent driver, forgetting that positioning myself, provided that I am a woman, is a combination of things that are initially incompatible.

I was late for work by 35 minutes due to prolonged morning sex with my boyfriend.

Explanatory Yuri.
I was late for work because of a healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but because I had no cigarettes, they gave me a hard blow on the tambourine. I went to the infirmary, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. Therefore, I smell of alcohol, my face is broken, and poor speech and impaired coordination of movement are the result of a concussion! I didn't drink, to be honest.

Explanatory chief accountant.
I was three hours late, because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The result was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get in position.

Explanatory Michael.
I confess that I was late for work by 6 hours due to the fact that yesterday I was late for a tasting of a new line of products from the Crystal factory. In the morning, from 8-00 to 14-00, I remembered where I work, until my mother came and prompted me.
I dare to assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because. I prudently scribbled the work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.

Explanatory Sergei.
I was late for work for half an hour, because anyway I won’t do anything until ten, we drink tea in the morning, but so much doesn’t fit into me.

Explanatory Anna.
I am systematically late, because I think that everything related to work should be approached systematically.

Explanatory Deniska.
I was not late, but adjusted my working day today to adequately inadequate yesterday's and inversely proportional to normalized.

Explanatory Paul.
On September 8, 2006, he was late for work, because before taking his child to kindergarten, he had an itch at the most inopportune time for the most unsuitable need. The delay time corresponds to the duration of the same physiological process. This case can be attributed to force majeure circumstances, i.e. force majeure, as they do not depend on my desire to be in time for work.

Explanatory Victor.
I'm late because you haven't paid your salary on time for a month! You will be indignant, I will quit altogether!

Explanatory Yury Yurievich.
I'm late for the service. The reasons for this unseemly act are very mysterious and rather rooted in the realm of the irrational, therefore I am unable to give any acceptable explanation for what happened. As a person of fine mental organization, I cannot but feel the full depth of my fall, but the same reason will hardly allow me to even think about a possible relapse.

I suggest:
1. Consider what happened as a misunderstanding,
2. Treat me condescendingly, especially since I have already received my portion of mental torment (see above).

Explanatory newbie.
I am a newbie, working in your company for the second day. Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and came to my old job. And only by the surprised look of my former director, I realized that I had come to the wrong place.

Explanatory Sergo.
I was late, because I drank very, very hot tea, my bladder burst and I scalded my legs.

Explanatory loader
Yesterday my wife was fired from her job for drinking! And this is after 10 years of life spent on this work. We decided to celebrate it. And today I got caught at the entrance of the factory. Therefore, I was late.

Explanatory senior warrant officer.
I, the senior senior warrant officer of the special forces Matveev, can explain the following about being late for work. As always, I woke up at 5.30, ran a 10 km cross, did 200 push-ups, pulled myself up 100 times, and then took an ice-cold shower. Then I had breakfast, polished my boots, stroked the camouflage, put it on, put on my unloading gear, equipped it with clips, grenades, took a pistol, machine gun, put on a helmet, applied war paint, put on gloves, before leaving I looked in the mirror and crap myself with fear.

Explanatory programmer.
In the morning, as usual, I got dressed and got ready to leave the house. Stepped over the bed and caught on the girl and to unhook, I had to undress again. This procedure took some time, as a result of which I was late for work.

Explanatory officer of the FSB.
On the morning of August 8, 2006, I was late for work because I got into a traffic jam in the subway.

Explanatory system administrator.
Arrived late to work because I slept on the job and saw how Microsoft went bankrupt. Couldn't help but watch.

Even the most punctual person is sometimes late. And if you are late for work, you will most likely be asked to write an explanation. And here a person is faced with a choice: to write something neutral, such as “for family reasons”, or the truth, whatever it may be. We have collected the funniest and funniest excuses for being late for work.

We are sure that after such “excuses” the boss simply does not have the right to punish an employee for being late :)

Funny and funny reasons for being late from explanatory

1. My cat was attacked by hiccups, and I just had to help her with something. Therefore, it was delayed.

2. Consciously came to work an hour late, since from 8:00 to 9:00 we still do nothing, we only drink tea. I still don't drink that much tea.

3. I am systematically late, because I firmly believe that everything related to work should be done systematically.

4. I was late for work because I overslept. And I overslept because in the morning I had a dream that the debit and credit finally converged (explanatory accountant).

5. The reason I was late was that the bus I was on to work got stuck in a traffic jam. I honestly asked the driver to give me a certificate about this incident, but was refused in a rude manner.

6. Late because you haven't paid my wages for three months! If you don't pay this month, I'll quit altogether!

7. I was late for work because I wanted to be. I want to - I won't come at all.

8. On the way to work, I discovered that someone was following me in a car, and therefore I decided to go the other way. It took longer than I expected.

9. A fox stole my car keys, which is why I couldn't get to work on time.

10. Isn't the time I spend on the road included in my working hours?

11. I appear at work later and later, because in the morning I walk the dog and together we meet the sunrise. And now the sun is rising later and later. This will last until December 22. Then I'll start coming to work earlier and earlier for the same reason.

12. In the evening I painted the floor in the hallway and naively believed that the paint would dry by morning. It didn't dry and I had to peel my socks off the floor for 30 minutes.

13. I always wake up for work with the cry of a neighbor's rooster. And yesterday, a neighbor slaughtered a rooster, about which he did not warn me.

14. Already getting out of the car near the office, I found that I had arrived in pajamas. I had to rush back and change.

15. I woke up with the thought that today is a day off. I remembered that today is still only Thursday, only at 10:45.

16. I live alone, so there is no one to wake me up. And it's really hard for me to get up. If you wake me up, then I won't be late.

17. I dreamed that I was fired, and therefore I didn’t have to go to any job.

18. Overslept because my turtle was sick, coughing all night and didn't let me sleep.

19. My wife gave me a pill to drink supposedly for a cold, but now I have short-term memory loss. I propose to start with my wife.

20. I went to brush my teeth in the morning and suddenly squeezed the entire tube of toothpaste onto the brush. While putting the paste back, I spent a lot of time.

21. Today I woke up at 6:00 in the morning. I realized that it was still too early to go to work, I decided to sleep a little more. The next awakening happened at 10:15.

22. Late for work. The reason was that, due to my unstable psyche, I periodically communicate with demons.

23. Actually, I'm always late. But you noticed it, for some reason, only today.

Good afternoon, readers of my blog. Most often, I write serious, motivating articles in which I give useful and important information. Today I would like to bring a little positive into your life, cheer up and cheer you up.

I always say that any business needs to be approached outside the box, with creativity and a slice of humor. Even the famous billionaire Michael Dell said that those who can break the standard framework and look at the task from a different angle will always succeed. The ability to make non-standard decisions can be key in your life.

Just recently I got a call from a friend who works in the human resources department of a large international company. For the first two minutes he just laughed into the phone and I did not understand anything. Then he sent me an explanatory email from one of the employees who was late for work. That's when I realized the reason for his hysterical laughter. I will not write the full text, but if in a nutshell, it was written something like this:
“Every morning at 7-15 on TV there is a cartoon “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. It goes exactly 30 minutes, and it turns out that at 7-50 I leave the house. Everything is calculated, and I come to the office exactly at 9-00. Today was supposed to be the final, decisive series and the main battle, which I have been waiting for 4 months. What a surprise it was that something changed in the program and the cartoon was moved to 8-30. I couldn't miss the episode. I ask you to consider this circumstance as an irresistible internal force. This will not happen again in the future."

Of course, the explanatory note was two pages long, the car told his love for the ninja turtles and hatred for their enemies. I understand that this is just a fiction, but the creative approach was counted. In the morning, the authorities received a positive charge and did not punish the employee.

So, I thought that there could be dozens of similar funny explanatory notes on the Internet. After a little searching, I made a selection of the best. Read, have fun, cheer yourself up.

Creative approach: funny explanatory note

I came to work at the wrong time, because in the morning there was nothing to do. Usually until 10 we drink tea and read newspapers. I don't get that much tea, and there's nothing interesting in the papers.

Being late for work was due to the fact that I took the child to kindergarten. And everything was going well until the moment when he had to go to the toilet for the most inappropriate need. The time of delay is commensurate with the time that the child relieved himself. Please attribute this case to force majeure, that is, consider it as "force majeure", because my lateness did not depend on the desire to be in time for work on time.

I'm late, I admit it. The reason for this was the non-payment of my salary for several months. If you are indignant, then I will quit altogether and will demand the return of all the money through the court.

I have been working in your company for several days, but I can explain my delay. Today is Monday, a very busy day after the weekend. Out of habit, I took the subway and arrived at the office for my former job. It was only from the surprised looks of the employees that I realized that something was wrong.

I was late because I got injured. In the morning I drank very hot tea, my bladder could not stand it and I scalded my legs.

Today, Friday, I was late for work. And no matter how funny it is, the reason for my being 5 hours late is banal - I thought that today was Saturday.

I'm late because I always do this. Just noticed it today.

In the morning, according to the already established habit, I went to wash my face and brush my teeth. Everything would be fine, but when I woke up, I squeezed out the entire tube of pasta. During the exciting pastime of putting the paste back into the tube, I did not notice how much time had passed. From now on I promise to use only tooth powder.

My lateness to work was well planned. The goal is to see how it ends.

In the morning I got up, took a shower, put on makeup, went out and got into the car, drove to the office and even worked for 4 hours. And then she woke up. Surprisingly, it was such a real dream.

Today, May 12, I was late for work because I could not get out of the subway car at the station I needed. I had to go to the end. When I returned, there were already fewer people.

I'm late for work. But it's all the fault of the demons with whom I have been communicating for the past 3 years. Today's conversation was surprisingly exciting.

The reason for the delay was a healthy lifestyle. In the morning I went to work, several passers-by asked for a cigarette, and in response to my negative answer, they hit me in the face several times. I had to go to the nearest hospital, where the wound was treated with alcohol. That's why I smell like alcohol, broken face and slurred speech. I didn't drink, to be honest.

My delays are quite logical. I drive a car, but the road is not predictable. Therefore, I am not going to risk my health in order to arrive at work on time. I also want to note that I am a non-smoker, unlike 90% of office workers, and I don’t take 5 smoke breaks a day, which is 50 minutes in total. While the rest are kayaking in the smoking room, I am at the workplace and carry out the assigned tasks. I am a responsible person, so 2 times a month I have to stay at work until 23-00 (then the office is closed) and pull up all the tails. And all because those who spend 50 minutes a day on smoke breaks accumulate as much as 16 hours a month, do not do their job on time and let me down.
Thus, if you take 16 hours of smoke breaks and 8 hours of extracurricular work, then it turns out that I work 24 hours more than 90% of the office staff, and I am late by a maximum of 2 hours per month.
If the management does not see any benefit in my being late, then let them fire and find a more optimal, smoking, but punctual employee who will “steal” 2 working days from you every month.

These are interesting, creative and funny explanatory notes I found on the Internet. They show that the main thing in any situation, albeit difficult, is to approach with creativity, humor and confidence. The last explanatory generally instills pride in me that a person can soberly explain his advantage and benefit for the company.