Where does passion come from, or What turns us on: simple and honest. Love and passion: psychology of relationships

Passion between a man and a woman is a primitive feeling that arises at the level of instincts. The physical attraction of representatives of the opposite sex to each other is characterized by increased excitability and the desire to completely possess the desired object. Unlike true love, passion is selfish and fleeting; it tends to fade away after a while, especially if there is nothing else connecting people.

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How passion manifests itself in men and women

Men and women express passion differently. Representatives of the stronger sex, looking at the object of physical attraction, experience excitement and a burning desire to possess the girl. The guy will use all his skills and abilities with one goal - to quickly achieve what he wants and merge into one with an attractive partner.

A woman's passion is measured and calmer. Girls tend to carefully weigh their feelings and analyze what is happening. Representatives of the fairer sex try to keep emotions under control and rarely allow instincts to take precedence over reason.

Many people confuse passion and love with each other. Sometimes partners, mistaking physical attraction for true love, quickly start a family - get married and have children, but the result turns out to be very disastrous. After some time, feelings fade away, and problems begin in family life: mutual reproaches, resentments and misunderstandings. All this happens because initially the partners were not connected by anything except desire.

Three Key Components of Physical Attraction:

• desire to possess a partner physically;
• emotional attachment;
• obsessive thoughts about the object of passion.

The desire to constantly touch a partner: hug, kiss, caress and enter into intimate relationships is a sign of desire.

Signs of physical attraction

When experiencing passion, a person strives to be closer to the object of physical attraction, and all arguments of reason fade into the background.

Clear signs of feeling include:

• loss of appetite;
• insomnia;
• inability to focus on anything other than the object of passion;
• irresistible desire for physical contact;
• pathological jealousy;
• endowing a partner with non-existent positive qualities;
• emotional attachment;
• obsessive thoughts about the object of attraction.

The desire to constantly touch a partner (hug, kiss, caress and engage in intimate relationships) is a sign of passion.

Passion is radically different from love in that, having received what he wants, a person gradually cools down. But often the partner cools down even if the goal is not achieved. The thirst to possess the object of desire disappears over time, and a new object of adoration appears on the horizon.

Despite the fact that man is a rational being, he does not have the power to control natural instincts and is subject to sexual desire. If partners are compatible and can hypothetically produce healthy offspring, they are attracted to each other.

It only takes a couple of minutes for attraction to arise between a man and a woman.

Why does desire arise?

Physical attraction and an irresistible desire to go to bed with a certain person does not arise out of nowhere. A spark appears at the first meeting and the fire of passion burns brighter every day for several reasons:

Passion is a temporary phenomenon if partners think only about their desires and are looking for a way to satisfy them. This feeling requires a kind of “feeding”; it is quite possible to maintain it for a long time if the partners live in each other’s interests and their union is built not only on sexual desire.

Passion is an extremely strong feeling that arises at the level of intuition. It is expressed as a passion, craving or inclination towards something or someone. The objects of passion are both people and objects, ideas and even thoughts. What passion manifests itself in, what form it takes in a given situation, and how to recognize it in the modern world will be discussed below.

What is passion: psychologists answer

Psychologists and philosophers of our time characterize passion as a strong emotional outburst that takes precedence over a person’s mind, actions and other feelings. True, they are convinced that passion is a neutral feeling, and only the person experiencing it is able to give this feeling a positive or negative emotional connotation.

The fact is that a person gripped by passion immediately experiences a lot of strong emotions - joy, anxiety, anticipation, expectation, and sometimes doubt. These emotions lead to the fact that a person begins to behave in some sense inappropriately, in other words, he commits actions that will seem thoughtless or simply stupid to others. This happens due to the release of hormones in the body: serotonin, endorphin and adrenaline.

As noted earlier, passion most often acts as a destructive feeling. But a person is capable of turning negative energy into positive.

So, for example, psychologists recommend that it is in a fit of such emotions that one begins to develop oneself. It is worth doing something that you have long dreamed of, but did not dare to do for one reason or another, for example, start learning a foreign language or go traveling. This process can capture all thoughts, shift attention and, ultimately, bring new knowledge and impressions to life. However, a person does not always have enough self-control and strength to independently control his will, initially experiencing passion and craving for something else.

Although the concept of "passion" has several meanings, most people identify it exclusively with sexual arousal towards a partner or even with love (using the term "passionate love").

However, psychologists deny the identification of the concepts of “love” and “passion”, and the majority even oppose them. They are convinced that relationships built on sexual attraction are selfish, unlike love. Each partner, man or woman, pursues his own goal in such a relationship, while using the other.

Passion in these relationships acts like a drug; it grabs a person headlong, but just as quickly lets go. Scientists even set a period for such relationships - no more than two years. They believe that an elevated level of a certain type of protein, neurotrophins, remains in the human body for exactly that long. Over time, it begins to steadily decline, and former feelings, mistaken for love, gradually disappear.

How do you know if a person is passionate?

Nobody wants to be a “toy” in a relationship. But being an “object of passion” is much more honorable, although the outcome for this kind of relationship is still the same. And here the question arises: is it possible to understand from a person whether he is experiencing passion or this is a deeper feeling. Psychologists identify the following signs that are characteristic of people who experience only passion for their partner, which is expressed exclusively in sexual interest:

1. A person has a greedy interest in the body of the chosen one; manners and other external manifestations are important to him.
2. Flirting and seduction dominate intimate conversations.
3. Increased, sometimes pathological jealousy. It manifests itself due to an unbridled desire to possess and control the object of passion.
4. A person is not inclined to talk about his true feelings; his thoughts are focused only on his own fantasies.
5. Apart from sexual contacts and having fun, other joint activities are of little interest.

Signs of passion are also determined physically, just don’t rush to draw conclusions based on them. Remember that passion is inherent in everyone, and a person occasionally succumbs to it, since it is inherent in his nature. Another thing is when he systematically experiences strong passion, ceasing to control himself. Physically it will be expressed like this:

• Cardiopalmus;
• Frequent movement around the room;
• Involuntary dilation of the pupils;
• Frequently being in a state of sexual arousal;
• Slight hand trembling;

Before entering into a relationship with a new partner, observe his behavior and manners. Even a shallow analysis will help you understand the true motives and make the right decision.

Types of passion

Passion can be classified according to different criteria. For example, classification is carried out according to the object to which it is directed.

• Sexual passion - a description of its signs was disclosed earlier.
• Passion for a hobby. In this case, other thoughts and feelings fade into the background. Such passion mobilizes a person’s strength and makes him capable of performing actions almost to the limit of physical and mental capabilities. For example, creative people come up with masterpieces or new plans and ideas.
• Passion for thrills. It is typical for people who are into extreme sports or take drugs. In the second case, a change in the sensitivity of the nervous system occurs, in which a person is no longer interested in standard pleasures and joys.
• Passion for work. It turns people with a heightened sense of responsibility and duty into true fans of their craft. As a rule, such passion is accompanied by an unregulated list of responsibilities and irregular working hours.

Pride, greed, fornication, envy, gluttony, anger, despondency - all these are also types of passions, together representing the “seven deadly sins” in Orthodoxy.

Passion in this case is a skill of the soul that has formed in it from repeated repetition of the same sins and has become, as it were, its natural quality - so much so that a person is not able to get rid of passion, even when he realizes that it no longer brings him pleasure, but it causes pain. Actually, the word “passion” in the Church Slavonic language just means suffering.

And these sins are called mortal because they entail the death of the soul. Unable to stop, the human soul eventually loses contact with God and becomes incapable of experiencing spiritual joy either in a person’s earthly life or in posthumous existence.

Passion is an ambiguous concept. On the one hand, it brings destruction, since it overshadows the human mind and does not allow one to assess the situation soberly, even leading to irreparable consequences. On the other hand, passion motivates people to creativity and action, and gives the strength to implement bold, large-scale projects. It’s even difficult to imagine what civilization in the 21st century would be like without people’s passionate desire to understand the world around them. The ability to channel passion in the right direction leads to development, but the absence of this skill can destroy destinies and lives.

PASSIONATE

PASSIONATE

PASSIONATE[passionate]

passionate, passionate; passionate, passionate, passionate.

1. Imbued with a strong, intense and energetically expressed feeling, extremely strong. “With passionate desire, you can achieve anything, you can overcome anything.” Stalin . Nobody so passionately(adv.) “does not love his homeland like a Russian person.” Saltykov-Shchedrin . "He is passionate(adv.) loves music." Chekhov . “Passionate debates went on until late at night.” N. Ostrovsky . “The sheet is covered with... impetuous and passionate language.” Nekrasov . Passionate character.

2. Wholly, with extreme enthusiasm, surrenders himself to someone. business, attraction, passion. “He pretended to be either a passionate horse hunter or a desperate gambler.” Pushkin . “You, passionate about ranks, I wish you to slumber in happy ignorance.” Griboyedov . Passionate speaker. Passionate music lover. Passionate player. Passionate fisherman.

3. Extremely sensual, completely imbued with a feeling of love, physical attraction. “You transposed foreign words into magical melodies of a passionate maiden.” Pushkin . “I am no longer the passionate lover whom the world marveled at before.” Pushkin . "I'm passionate(adv.), I'm desperately in love with you." Turgenev . A passionate kiss. Passionate look.

Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940.

See what “PASSIONATE” is in other dictionaries:

passionate- passionate fan, passionate fighter, passionate defender, passionate player, passionate collector, passionate hunter, passionate patriot, passionate admirer, passionate admirer, passionate follower, passionate appeal, passionate... ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

See diligent... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M.: Russian Dictionaries, 1999. passionate, hot, ardent, fiery; hot; burning, sultry; diligent; red-hot, fiery, sensual, ebullient,... ... Synonym dictionary

PASSIONATE, oh, oh; ten, tna. 1. Imbued with a strong feeling. S. impulse. Passionate speech. 2. Passionate about something, completely surrendering to something. occupation. S. chess player. S. hunter. 3. Imbued with passion 1 (in 1 meaning), a feeling of love; sensual. WITH.… … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

passionate- passionate, concise f. passionate, passionate (obsolete passionate), passionate, passionate; compare Art. more and more passionate. Pronounced [passionate]... Dictionary of difficulties of pronunciation and stress in modern Russian language

Adj., used. compare often Morphology: passionate, passionate and passionate, passionate, passionate; more passionate; adv. passionately 1. A very strong feeling is called passionate. Passionate hope. | Passionate love. 2. Words, speech, etc., are called passionate... ... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary

passionate- [sn], aya, oh; ten, tna/ and tna, tny 1) Strongly and ardently feeling, acutely and strongly perceiving and experiencing everything. He [Dobrolyubov] was an extremely impressionable, passionate person, and his feelings were very impetuous, deep, ardent... ... Popular dictionary of the Russian language

Adj. 1. ratio with noun passion I, associated with it 2. Imbued with a strong, intense feeling; extremely strong. 3. One who devotes himself entirely and with extreme enthusiasm to some cause, attraction, or passion. 4. Entirely imbued with a feeling of love; extremely... ... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova

Passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate... Forms of words

passionate- passionate; briefly form ten, astn a, tno... Russian spelling dictionary

passionate- cr.f. passionately/sten, passionately/stna/, passionately/stenno, passionately; more passionately... Spelling dictionary of the Russian language

Books

• The Passionate Mind, Joel Kramer. “To make the best use of the gift of thinking, it is important to understand the nature of a particular worldview and to be aware of its consequences, to know how morality and spirituality are connected with it. To do this...
• Passionate mind. Expanding Personal and Social Awareness, Joel Kramer, Diana Olstead. `To make the best use of the gift of thinking, it is important to understand the nature of a particular worldview and to be aware of its consequences, to know how morality and spirituality are connected with it. For this…

These eight passions, although they have different origins and different actions, however, the first six (gluttony, fornication, love of money, anger, sadness, despondency) are interconnected in such a way that the excess of the previous one gives rise to the next one.
Vanity and pride are connected in the same way; the strengthening of the first of them gives rise to another, but they are born not from the six previous ones, but after their destruction. We fall into these two passions especially after conquering other passions.

From the Church Slavonic word passions translated as "suffering". In this sense, we speak of the “passion of Jesus Christ on the cross.” However, its main meaning is the sinful dispositions and habits of a person, which attract him to violate God, often even against his will and awareness of the sinfulness of the situation.

“Passion is worthy of reproach if it is not a natural movement of the soul,” teaches St. . According to the saint, passion is rebellion against nature. St. calls passion a disease of the soul, and St. Isaiah of Nitria with a painful state of mental strength. St. calls passion a movement of energy against nature.

The unnaturalness of passion lies in the fact that in it a person refuses the natural union with the Creator, who gives man the highest spiritual bliss. Instead of enjoying communication with the eternal God, man seeks pleasure in his temporary earthly existence, among the transient and impermanent world. Such pleasures can be food (passion of gluttony), illegal sexual hobbies (fornication), money (passion of avarice), humiliation of other people, assertion of one’s superiority over them (anger, pride, vanity), excessive grief over the lack or deprivation of material goods, failure to fulfill passionate desires. (despondency, sadness).

By identifying eight main passions, Christian ascetics insist that it is the states of mind that are passions, and not the needs of the body. Even dividing physical (gluttony, fornication) and mental passions, they see the cause of each passion not in the life of the body, but only in the distance of the human soul from God.

The basis of passions is self-love, which is completely opposed to love for God and neighbor. In essence, all passions arise from perverted and excessive self-love. The main and most dangerous passions are pride and vanity. These passions turned some of the angels into, therefore infection with them makes a person an enemy of God, opens the way to all other passions in his mind and heart. Through passions, fallen spirits influence a person’s behavior, trying to make him a slave to sinful habits. Submitting to sinful passions, a person himself becomes like fallen spirits and becomes an enemy of God.

The emergence of passion is preceded by the temptation of a person with a thought containing a sinful image. If during temptation a person begins to enjoy a sinful image, then this is the first sign of the emergence of passion. Having settled in the soul, addiction to a sinful image turns into an internal sinful habit, which leads to external sinful actions.

To eradicate passion, a person must seek help from God, who gives a person the strength to overcome passion. Divine help is the Holy Spirit, which brings spiritual pleasure to a person, in comparison with which the actions of passion pale. To acquire grace, a person needs the prayerful feat of struggle and opposition to sinful thoughts. In response to the feat of prayer, a person is visited by grace, giving the ascetic an experienced knowledge of the Divine.
Passions are most completely overcome by purifying the heart through intense prayers and deeds. We must develop opposite passions. For example, if you develop humility, pride will fade away; if joy dominates, then there will be no place for sadness.
Healing from passions often requires many years of struggle. One of the great ascetics says: “It took me fifteen years to overcome anger.”

Whoever sees in himself some kind of dominant passion must first of all arm himself against it... for if we do not conquer this passion, then victory over others will not be of any benefit to us...
St.

Passion is a vice that has been embedded in the soul for a long time and through habit (constant repetition) has become, as it were, a natural property of it, so that the soul already voluntarily and by itself strives for it.
Bishop Barnabas

Some are passions, and others are sins. Passions are: anger, vanity, voluptuousness, hatred, evil lust, and the like. Sins are the very actions of passions, when someone carries them out in practice, i.e. performs with his body those deeds to which his passions impel him; for you can have passions, but not act on them. ()

You need to know which passion bothers you the most, and you need to fight it especially. To do this, you need to examine your conscience every day...
We must consider everything bad, including the passions that fight us, not as our own, but as from the enemy - the devil. It is very important. Only then can you overcome passion when you do not consider it yours.
Rev.

The concept of “passion” in the modern world has turned into a tired cliche, which is absolutely necessary for every person in order to be a full-fledged person. It is believed that it is impossible to live without passion in a relationship, that love fades away without it, people get divorced. But is it? What is passion in a relationship? And is there really an urgent need for it? Or is the family still built on something else? Let's try to figure this out.

After reading the commentary of any experienced and intelligent woman, we will be convinced that passion is by no means a virtue, but rather a vice, which we definitely should not strive for by force. Of course, every couple sometimes dreams of a spicy relationship, but something spicy can cause you to get cut off and even damage your partner.

What is passion and where to look for the reasons?

Passion is a feeling of a very strong nature, which is usually caused by an acute desire to possess something, regardless of reason and ethical standards. Against the background of passion, everything else fades and dims, and life itself in its essence becomes empty and lifeless.

It doesn’t make the object of passion feel better either, because it’s not a desire to love, caress, fulfill desires... but simply the need to possess. Passion goes hand in hand with sexual concern, and a person can forget about his own dignity.

Passion does not usually arise in relation to something positive, accessible or, conversely, already familiar and from a less than pleasant side. But if there is a mystery in a person, if he seems like a closed book in an attractive cover, then passion arises - the passion to learn more, to touch, to try. Once the opportunity arises to see him/her, it does not provide guarantees for the further development of events, which gives rise to such feelings as:

• Fear;
• Uncertainty;
• Mistrust;
• Waste of strength.

A family built on love, mutual respect, and not on blind passion, guarantees a healthy psychological background.

Passion is like a spice

Of course, passion is not an entirely negative manifestation of feelings. The passionate attraction of spouses to each other, like a hot spice, adds flavor to family relationships and fuels the fire of family love. And many spouses eventually begin to complain about its absence. Here are some tips to spark your passion.

1. Flirting. So what if you’ve been married for many years, so what if you’re no longer young. Flirting in small doses is good for everyone. This is a reason to forget about everyday life for a while and feel like a conqueror/predator.
2. Replace the word “sex” with some nice allegory, like “strawberries and cream.” Such mystery will excite.
3. Write each other SMSs with erotic content, or just about something intimate or pleasant.
4. Organize joint entertainment such as a joint photo shoot. It will allow you to open up in a new way, realize old fantasies, and just interact for an hour.
5. Change the situation: spend the weekend not on the couch, but, for example, in a park or in the countryside.
6. Give your significant other a romantic date, just like in the first days of your acquaintance. And it doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman.