What is better - to give vent to emotions or to store them in yourself? How to Release Emotions - emotional release techniques How to give vent to negative emotions.

I have been asked to do this article for a long time. But I put it off and put it off, although it would seem why? I need to write it as soon as possible, but I’m beating around the bush as if I’m afraid of this topic. But still, if I don’t talk about it, don’t offer you options, then is this really help? Let me tell you the ways of living that I know. I’ll make a few emphases right away.

Firstly, emotions are experienced only through the body; analysis by the brain gives nothing. Because they live in the body and exit through the body. That is, in each method the body is involved in one way or another. If you just think and analyze, it turns out that I understand everything with my head, but it still infuriates me.

Secondly, these are ways to let off steam when you have emotions inside. But if you need to change something in your life, it won't work for long. For example, you have a difficult relationship with your mother. And if you only let off steam and scream into the pillow without changing anything in your attitude towards your mother, then it is pointless. This is the same as taking painkillers when you have a toothache and not going to the doctor. Teeth need to be treated, right? And relationships also need to be healed. This is primary.

Thirdly, we will talk most about anger, because it is not clear what to do with it and where to put it. And one way or another, in any complex interweaving of emotions, there is a lot of anger. The way out of many difficult conditions, such as feelings of guilt and resentment, occurs through anger. And by refusing to live it, we cannot move on.

Fourth, I ask you to distinguish between anger as a momentary emotion that naturally appears when something does not happen the way you wanted (this is the nature of anger), and anger as a quality of character, that is, anger. It’s normal to experience anger sometimes if you don’t push it and live it safely. To be at odds with the world, when you want to control everything everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is no longer normal. How abnormal it is to not be able to control it.

Fifthly, controlling anger does not mean not feeling it or suppressing it.

Control is about letting off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing to yourself and not dumping anything on others. Think of anger as a natural waste product in the body, just like digested food. What happens if you consider this matter “dirty” and stop going to the toilet? Forbid yourself from doing this? What will be the outcome? Maybe our task is to create such a “toilet” for emotions – a place where we do something calmly and safely, without harming anyone? This is exactly what the article is about.

Sixthly, I beg you to avoid premature spirituality in emotions. This is when it boils and hurts inside, and we from above crush it all with the word “impossible” and delve into the reasons. Most often, this is exactly how we treat other people’s feelings, like, I’ll tell you now why your karma got it! Reasons are sought after the emotion is released. It will be much easier for you to see all this with a clear head later. First, live. Or let the person live, help him with this.

And now we can get started. I want to divide the ways of experiencing emotions into constructive and destructive. Those that are harmless and those that hurt someone. We are well acquainted with the latter, and yet it is worth seeing them with our own eyes, face to face.

Destructive methods.

1. Pouring it on other people, especially those who were “passing by.”

At work, the boss got it, but you can’t express it to his face, so you come home and it ends up with the cat who turned up under the arm, that is, under the leg, or the child who brought the “C” again. Sound familiar? And it seems that you will yell and it will become easier, but then comes a feeling of guilt - after all, the cat or the child had nothing to do with it.

1. Rudeness.

In the same situation, when the boss drove you crazy, but the anger remained inside, you don’t have to take this bomb home, knowing that it will explode there. And pour out your anger on the saleswoman who works slowly and makes a mistake, on those who stepped on your foot or crossed your path, and at the same time on those who are very annoying with a happy face. And also of little use. Even if there is no feeling of guilt, the negative emotions of the other person on whom all this was poured will definitely return to us one day. Again. So they go back and forth while we are rude to each other.

1. Trolling on the Internet

This method seems safer and with impunity. An anonymous page without an avatar, even if it has an avatar, will definitely not be found and beaten. The boss said - you can go to someone’s page and write nasty things - they say, what an ugly person you are! Or are you writing some nonsense! Or provoke some kind of argument on a difficult topic, poking them with a needle in different places to cause pain. But the law of karma also works here, even if the laws of the state are not yet everywhere.

1. Load up on sweets

Another method that, by the way, we often see in films. When a heroine's lover leaves her or cheats on her, what does she do? I have this picture before my eyes: a crying girl in bed watching a movie and eating a huge can of ice cream. The harm of such an event, I think, is clear to many. But it’s still so difficult not to do this, because the hand reaches out on its own, it’s like an instinct. Like, if you eat something sweet, it will feel better. It might be a little, but it won’t solve the situation. I know from myself that when you give up sugar, the most important and difficult thing is not to reach out to it in difficult times.

1. Swear

Another way may look like this: you were rude, and you are rude in response. Your husband came and yelled at you - and you yell at him too. It seems like you are being honest. The person is the cause of your negative feelings, you need to urgently express them. But by doing so, you only fan the fire, intensify the conflict, and nothing good comes from it. A quarrel always takes out all our strength, including all hidden reserves, and after it we remain devastated and unhappy. Even if the argument was won.

1. hit someone

Again - children, dogs, husband, boss (you never know). Any person who is the cause of your anger or just happened to be at hand. Corporal punishment for children during a parent's emotional breakdown is very traumatic. They provoke in the child both a feeling of humiliation and reciprocal hatred, which he cannot express in any way. If you hit your husband, you might get hit back, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon. And I saw statistics that about half of women who suffered from domestic violence started a fight first, not expecting that the man would fight back. This does not justify men, but it does not honor women either. It is impermissible not only for the husband, but also for the wife, not only for boys, but also for girls to let go.

1. Suppress

There is a belief now that anger is bad. The more religious a woman is, the more she suppresses anger. She pretends that nothing is pissing her off, smiles tensely at everyone, and so on. Then anger has two ways out - to explode in a safe place (again, at home, on loved ones) - and she will not be able to control this. And the second option is to attack her health and body. It seems to me that it is no coincidence that today so many people die from cancer; it is a disease of unlived emotions, as many psychologists have repeatedly written about.

1. Breaking dishes and breaking things

On the one hand, the method is constructive. It's better to break a plate than to hit a child . And you can certainly use it sometimes. But if we destroy some things on our way, then we need to understand that then all this will need to be restored. My husband once destroyed his laptop in a rage. It was a terrible sight, and then I had to buy a new computer. And it also happens that anger is poured out on other people’s things, this is completely unhappy. This is costly, and therefore less constructive than we would like.

1. Slam the door

It seems to me that this method is nice to many teenagers. I remember myself like this, and in some places I already see children like this. In principle, not the worst way. Only once I slammed the door so hard that the glass broke. But nothing special.

10. Beat with words

Let's be honest. You don't always need hands to hit someone. We women are good at doing this with words. Poking at painful points, making sarcastic remarks, teasing - and then pretending that we are not to blame and have nothing to do with it. The more different dirt inside us, the sharper and more caustic our tongue. I remember from myself that before, when I didn’t know where to put my feelings, I constantly teased everyone. Many people called me an “ulcer”, I couldn’t help myself. I thought it was funny.

The more I learn to experience feelings, the softer my speech becomes. And the less there are any kind of “hairpins” in it. Because it doesn’t do anyone any good. For a couple of minutes, you can at the same time destroy relationships and earn karmic reactions.

11. Revenge

Often, in a fit of anger, it seems to us that if we take revenge and wash away the shame with the blood of the enemy, we will feel better. I know that some women, during a quarrel with their husband, have sex with someone, for example, to spite him. This is a blessed option that many consider acceptable, especially if the husband has cheated. But what's the end result? Revenge only exacerbates the conflict and increases the distance between us. Revenge comes in different forms – subtle and gross. But none of them are useful. No one.

12. Sex

Not the best way to release, although it is physical. Because sex is still an opportunity to show love for each other, and not to use each other as exercise equipment. Our mood during intimacy greatly affects our relationship as a whole. And casual connections with just anyone, for the sake of detente, are not only not useful, but also harmful.

13. Shopping

Women often go to the store feeling upset. And they buy a lot of unnecessary things there. Sometimes they even deliberately spend more money than necessary in order to take revenge on, for example, their husband. But it turns out that at this time we waste the resources that are given to us for good deeds - that is, money - at random and try to use them to harm others. What will be the result? Resources will run out. And what they were spent on will never be useful. The dress you bought in anger will absorb your condition and you will find it difficult to wear.

The list turned out to be impressive, not entirely joyful, but nevertheless, most often this is exactly what we do. Because we don’t have a culture of dealing with feelings. We were not taught this, they never talk about it anywhere - they only ask us to remove our feelings from sight. That's all.

Constructive ways of dealing with emotions.

14 Allow feelings to be.

Sometimes - and by the way, very often, to experience a feeling it is enough to see it, call it by your name and accept it. That is, at the moment of anger, say to yourself: “Yes, I’m very angry now. And this is normal.” This is very difficult for all those who have been told that this is not normal (because it is inconvenient for others). It's hard to admit that you're angry right now, even though it's written all over your face. It’s hard to say that this also happens. It is sometimes difficult to understand, what kind of feeling is this? I remember in the constellations a girl whose nodules were shaking, her hands tensed into fists, and she called her feelings “sadness.” Learning to understand what this feeling is is a matter of practice and time. For example, you can watch yourself. At critical moments, look in the mirror to understand what is on your face, follow the signs of the body, observe the tension in the body and the signals in it.

15 Stomp.

In traditional Indian dances, a woman stomps a lot, it is not so noticeable, because she dances barefoot. But in this way, through energetic movements, all tension is released from the body into the ground. We often laugh at Indian films where they dance from any event - good or bad - but there is a special truth in this. Experience any feelings through your body. Allowing the anger to flow through you as you vigorously release it through vigorous stomps. By the way, there are also many such movements in Russian folk dances.

It is not necessary to go to the dance section right now (although why not?). Try to close your eyes and, feeling the emotion in your body, use stompers to “give” it into the ground. Of course, it is best to stomp while standing on the ground, and not on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. It's even better if you can do it barefoot on the grass or sand. You will physically feel how much easier it becomes.

And you don't think about what it looks like. Ideal, of course, if no one sees you or distracts you. But if there is no such place, close your eyes and stomp.

16 Scream.

Some trainings practice a form of cleansing such as screaming. When we scream into the floor, with a partner who helps us, we can also scream into the pillow in any other way. Usually some important word is shouted. For example, “Yes” or “No” - if it suits your emotion. You can simply shout “Aaaah!” You take a deep breath, and then open your mouth - and thus empty your heart. Do this several times until you feel empty inside.

Sometimes before this they do some kind of “pumping” - first they breathe very, very quickly, exclusively through the nose.

This technique has weaknesses. For example, neighbors and family. The scream is very loud. And if you cannot relax and not worry, then he will not heal. The scream must come from a relaxed throat, otherwise your voice may seriously break. It’s better to try this for the first time somewhere with experienced people, then the effect will be greater.

17 Talk it out.

Women's way. To experience any feelings, we really need to talk about it, tell someone. About how the boss offended you and someone on the bus called you names. Not so much even to get support (which is also nice), but to pour it out of yourself. This is approximately why people go to psychologists to get everything that is eating away at their heart out of there. One friend who has been working as a psychologist for a very long time once shared that most of her clients are helped by one simple method. She listens to them, asks questions so that they describe the situation as comprehensively as possible, and that’s all. Doesn't give any recipes or advice. He just listens. And often at the end of the conversation a person comes up with a solution. Same. It was as if the veil of anger that had clouded his eyes had been lifted and he saw the way.

Women do the same with each other, speaking out. There are only two points here. You cannot tell anyone about your family life - about the problems in it. Otherwise, these problems can get worse. And if they tell you something, you shouldn’t give advice. Just listen. By the way, you can organize a circle in which women share all their emotions - and then somehow symbolically say goodbye to them (which is often done in women's groups).

Be careful not to dump all your emotions on your husband. He just can't stand it. If you speak out to your friends, first get their consent to do so. And don’t forget to share the good things too (otherwise your friend may feel like a “toilet” that is only needed to drain negative emotions). It's great if you can cry to your mom or dad, if you have a mentor who listens to you, if your husband is ready to do this for at least 15 minutes every day.

18 Sport.

Sport is very popular now, and this is great, because in the gym we work with the body, which means that emotions also come out. During any load on the body. Running, aerobics, stretching.

Notice how difficult it is for you during stress. And how good and calm it is afterwards. Therefore, you should choose your load option - and don’t skip it. Even as a preventive measure.

19 Massage.

Any of our blocks and clamps in the body are unlived emotions. Of course, I’m not talking about light strokes, but about deep work with the body, with force. A high-quality massage that kneads these points helps us cope with emotions. In this place, the main thing - as in childbirth - is to open up to pain. They press on you somewhere, you feel pain - breathe and relax towards the pain. Tears may flow from your eyes - this is normal.

A good massage therapist will immediately see your weak points - and he will know exactly where and how to apply pressure to remove the clamp. But often it hurts so much that we stop it and don’t go further. Then the massage becomes a pleasant relaxation procedure, but does not help relieve emotions.

20 Breathing exercises

Any emotions are experienced through the body. I already said that, right? So one of the most important elements in this is breathing. Sometimes you can just breathe through the emotion (but it’s difficult for us). Therefore, try doing different breathing exercises - pranayama, bodyflex and therapeutic options. In addition to releasing emotions and relaxing the body, you will also get a healing effect, which is also good, right?

21 Beat the pillow

When you are in the current state, sometimes you want to hit someone. For example, spank your husband or child. Try at this moment to switch to the pillow - and beat it with all your heart. The main thing is not to sleep on such a pillow - let it be your sports equipment, which lies separately. You can cry into it. Or you can get yourself a punching bag and gloves. This is also an option, however, it requires free space at home.

22 Hit the sofa with a rolled up towel.

This method is for you if you want to let off some steam. The task is simple. 15 minutes of privacy with a sofa or chair. It would be ideal to be alone at this time.

You need one piece of upholstered furniture - a sofa, an armchair, a bed. Doesn't matter. A sofa is the most comfortable and most people have it, besides, you don’t sleep on it – and that’s very good. You will also need a towel. Bathhouse, big.

Roll the towel into a roll. And while breathing intensely (breathing is very important), start hitting the sofa with a roller. Let it seem strange and stupid. Release the tornado of anger from yourself and your soul. Maybe you will make some sounds while doing this, maybe not. Maybe you will start crying, sobbing. Just let the process happen. You can also scream, stomp, swear - whatever you allow yourself, everything is correct.

Until it's empty inside. As soon as it's empty, take a shower. Necessarily. And be sure to have herbal tea or warm milk at the end. And prayer if possible.

23 Pound the water

The same can be done with water. Water takes away women's emotions very well. It can be anything - you can beat on water in a river, lake, ocean. Or even in the bathtub, the main thing is not to flood the neighbors. This method is not always suitable for everyone, but it’s worth a try. The sea or ocean, for example, is great at taking away everything unnecessary. After this, you can also lie on the surface like an asterisk, so that the salt will draw out all the excess from your head.

24 Amusement park

Do you know why all these “roller coasters” are needed? To release negative emotions. Scream, squeal, be afraid, tense and relax. You can scream there, no one will forbid you, you can shout loudly, no one will judge you. An excellent opportunity to “lose off steam”, which is what adult aunts and uncles do there. A water park with scary slides and any other similar place would also be suitable here. The main thing is not to overdo it - adrenaline also affects female hormones.

25 Mandalas

Any handicraft is therapeutic. And each in its own way. There is such a technique as weaving mandalas from threads on a frame of sticks. Mandalas can be of different diameters and different “branchiness”. But when you weave it, you definitely put something inside. You can weave them for your cherished desire and think about it at this time. Or you can weave out your negative emotions by intuitively choosing colors (with your eyes closed). Why mandalas? They are made relatively quickly - you can make a fairly large one in an hour. It’s not difficult, even I mastered it and did it for a long time. It is in terms of working with emotions that they help a lot. Because after such weaving your pain into the mandala, it must be burned. Verified. It gets easier. And emotions come out through the body - in this case, the hands. There are a lot of videos about the technique on the Internet, I especially recommend the lessons of Anya Fenina (Zhukova), my friend and the most experienced in weaving.

26 Any other handicraft.

In addition to mandalas, there are many options - for example, felting from wool, when you need to pierce the picture with a needle many, many times (and at the same time think about something that is very annoying - I’m kidding, of course). Or cutting with a jigsaw. Or embroidery - with threads or beads. The main thing is that your hands participate in this, so that this energy comes out through them (that is, needlework with intense movements is better), and then, unfortunately, the masterpieces themselves will need to be destroyed. After all, they absorb our mood during their creation.

27 Sing

Through singing we can also release pain and anger from our hearts. Songs can be different, music too. You've probably noticed that when it's very difficult, you really want to turn on some soul-stirring composition and sing along to it! So don’t deny yourself this. Sing, even if you don't sing very well. Sing with your heart, not with your voice, sing not to be pleasant to listen to, but to allow your emotions to come out.

28 Cry

A very feminine way that we sometimes use, but often underestimate. When we get angry, what do we do? Most often we scream. But when we scream, we cannot cry. And tears are the female version of burning negative karma, by the way. Especially if the tears are hot, this means they are boiling with emotions, and a lot of things come out with them. You can help yourself with this. It’s hard to sit down and cry right away, especially if you’re bursting with anger. But you can put on some movie, some song, get some things. Activate emotion and transform it into tears. Anger comes out very effectively with tears - I tested it myself, however, in this case it is very difficult to start crying (but then not to stop).

29 Cry in the temple

The most effective way for me personally to experience all emotions is to come to church. Sit there in a corner and cry in prayer. Holy people in churches cry from separation from God. And we can cry on his chest about our financial difficulties, which is also good.

I remember how hard it was once to live with the fact that my father was not and never would be. The fact was realized, but emotions were blocked. And I remember how I came to church on his birthday, that year he would have turned 50 years old. I came to pray for him, and suddenly I burst into tears. I stood and sobbed, it’s good that no one was nearby. Tears flowed in streams. And only then did my grandfather ask me what happened, and I cried for half an hour. I tell him: “My dad died.” He nodded understandingly. “Seventeen years ago,” I added. “Why have you been carrying this around for so many years, dear,” said grandfather, tapped him on the back and moved on. And I thought - and really, what am I doing. It was at that moment that I felt a lot better. Until now, in the most difficult situations, I go to church, sit in a corner, cover my face and quietly pray and cry. Helps a lot.

30 Write letters of grievances

I have already described letters of grievances several times in different articles. They have a structure according to which you write them. For each specific person or situation, by hand, they go sequentially through anger, resentment, pain, fear, disappointment, regret, sadness, gratitude, forgiveness and up to love. They can end in different ways - if you don’t want to have a relationship with the person in the future, you end with the words “I’m letting you go,” but if this is a person who is important to you, then the final phrase is “I love you.” And it always begins with the words “Dear (person’s name).” These are the rules of writing.

31 “Radical Forgiveness” Questionnaire

There is such a sensational book that helps many people cope with their emotions. There is a questionnaire in the book that needs to be filled out every time emotions come up that are difficult to cope with. Yes, it will take work, a lot of writing, but it works. The good thing about the questionnaire is that you have clear questions to follow, it’s as if they’re leading you by the hand, and it’s much easier for you to get to the point.

32 Wash the dishes

Try to take offense at someone and start washing the dishes. Or the floor. Or polish the sink until it shines. This way we experience emotions through the body and wash away the dirt from our heart. Sometimes the dishes may suffer a little, but the overall overall effect will be higher - feelings lived safely and clean dishes. I know many people who deal with their feelings this way.

33 Transformation into laughter

It doesn’t always work, not with all emotions. But in some minor situations, like everyday irritation due to nonsense, it’s just right. Bring the situation to the point of absurdity in your head and laugh joyfully at it. Find something funny in the way you stress over little things, or laugh at something else, make a funny face, thereby extinguishing a family quarrel. And so on. Get creative! Laughter is healing, breathing during laughter is similar to sobbing. But you must admit, it’s more pleasant and safer. And the tension goes away.

34 Throw away trash

It's therapeutic, just like washing dishes. And it’s also useful. Cleansing on a physical level helps cleanse yourself on an emotional level. I remember one girl who couldn’t get over her divorce for a long time. The past did not let her go. Of course, because her wedding dress was hanging in her closet all this time! And the symbolic farewell helped her. She not only removed him, but brutally destroyed him (this is the extreme form of a woman driven to extremes). And she immediately felt better.

Clutter may or may not be related to your situation, it will simply help you clear the space and breathe easier. And by the way, it’s easier to do this with emotions, there are fewer doubts.

35 Do meditation

There are many different meditations and options. I like one of them. When my head gets covered, I sit cross-legged on the floor, or better yet, on the ground. An ideal option if it’s warm now and you can sit on the ground. Close your eyes and imagine how long and strong roots go into the ground from your butt. After you feel this connection with the earth at that very fifth point, begin to imagine how emotions are collected from all parts of your body and through these roots go into the earth, into its depths. Collect them in your head, in your heart, in those places where there are pressures and problems. And let go. And breathe deeply. Tested, it becomes much easier.

36 Just breathe

Honestly, the method is the most difficult. But it works. When emotion is boiling inside you, you simply sit on a chair, close your eyes, and breathe. Opening up internally towards your emotion (as in childbirth), you go towards it. And breathe. Breathe deeply and deeply. Usually it takes from 5 to 20 minutes to experience an emotion. But it will be difficult. Of course, you will want to get up, run away, slam the door, break a plate, but try to just breathe while sitting in one place. If you are used to running away from pain, then you definitely need to try this method.

37 Breaking dishes

This method was already used in destructive ones, but I want to add it to constructive ones. Why? Because it's better to hit dishes than people. And if this is a controlled act of releasing emotions, then why not? By the way, you can have special plates that don’t break into thousands of fragments and that you don’t mind. It helps someone, and that's great.

38 Talk to the tree

It is important for a woman to express her emotions. What if there is no one to listen? Or is there something you can’t tell anyone? Then the trees will come to the rescue. The main thing is to find “your own” - the tree with which it will be easier and more pleasant for you to communicate. Maybe it will be a birch, or maybe a pine. Doesn't matter. Any tree with which you personally feel good and pleasant. Hug him quietly and talk-talk-talk until you feel relief.

39 Dance

This is also a bodily version of releasing emotions. Especially if the dance is spontaneous and alone (so as not to be afraid of evaluations of your movements). If the emotion is very stormy, you can turn on some wild drums and “jump” with your whole body to them from the heart, completely letting all its parts float on their own. Try it, especially paying attention to those parts of your body that are especially tight (you can dance, for example, only with your shoulders, only with your hips, only with your head).

40 Confession

Another option to “speak out” when there seems to be no one to talk to. This is why churches exist, and in different traditions there is the concept of confession. When you come and open your soul. You can do this formally, they say, I’m a sinner, forgive my sins. Or you can do it from the heart - come and open your pain. Scary? That’s why sometimes the priest sits behind a curtain so that he doesn’t feel ashamed. Confession and communion are very cleansing procedures for Christians. Cleansing from everything.

41 Prayer

Versatile. For any religion. If you want to experience emotions, start praying. And breathe, pray, let the emotions come out. Through tears, body trembling, hand movements, words. Prayer cures everything. And it's free. Cleanses the soul and brings goodness to life. The most underrated method, by the way.

And another very important point.

After any outburst of negative emotion, it is important to fill the vacated space with light. That is, for example, wish everyone happiness, pray, talk about good things. So that the heart, cleansed of dirt, is filled with something good. Otherwise, a place isn’t empty for long, and it can itself be filled again with who knows what.

And let me remind you once again that these are just ways to let off steam, relieve tension, and live through emotions. But if you need to change your behavior and something in your life, this will only help for a while. And then everything will return to normal. Therefore, it is worth engaging in prevention - for example, learning to refuse, maintaining your integrity, cultivating a sense of self-worth, reducing your expectations from the world and people - and so on.

I hope that this selection will help you live through everything that should have been lived a long time ago!

The children's psyche and nervous system are still developing, so most children are very impressionable. Any little thing (from the point of view of adults) can throw a child out of balance.

Anger, anger, irritation, fear, mental pain - emotions in children are too strong, they cannot cope with them (many cannot, even as adults). “Well, the bear’s paw came off, is it worth crying so much over this? What a disaster!” - adults are perplexed.

Usually the emotional outburst passes without a trace, the child is distracted, calms down, and forgets, especially if there is a sensitive adult nearby who will help him.

But some especially vulnerable children have emotional breakdowns quite often. Driving feelings deeper and suppressing them is dangerous. It is better to give them a way out in a way that is safe for the child and others. Talk to the baby. “Are you offended? Why do you think he (the offender) did this? Do you think he did this on purpose?” The child must feel your support and understanding; you cannot leave him alone with his grief. Let him know that he has the right to experience negative emotions, like every person. Gradually he will learn to express them in a civilized way.

When active children are angry, it is advisable to give them the opportunity to express their anger through physical movements - let them tear newspapers, throw pillows or toys on the floor, hit a ball or kick the sofa - any safe activity is good. Offer to organize a competition to see who can jump further, hit the ball harder, or shout louder. It is common knowledge that the Japanese install a rubber effigy of their boss so that an offended subordinate can kick him. And grown-up guys do this with pleasure, and then calmly go to work. Strong emotions need to be given vent. If you don’t want neuroses and depression...

For children, play is a miracle cure. You and your child can play out a traumatic situation with dolls, soft toys, and cars. To begin, take on the role of the “injured party,” that is, your child. Speak on behalf of his favorite toy: “I’m crying (angry, mad, etc.) because...”. Let the child help the toy, console, and advise. If he doesn’t have the words, ask leading questions: “Or maybe I should... (do something, say something, etc.).” You can act as a “whipping toy” - do not obey your master, contradict him, irritate him. Let the baby take out his anger on the naughty toy. The game's plot and roles depend on the situation.

In the game, the baby has power that he does not have in real life. He can punish, restore justice, show fear that he is afraid to tell his family about. In the game you will see how your child sees the world and his family.

In role-playing games, you will have the opportunity to find out what problems are bothering the child. Bully in the group? Evil teacher? Jealousy of an older/younger brother/sister? Family scandals?

Listen to your child, he so wants to be heard! Like all of us...

The hardest thing is to hold back strong negative emotions, not allowing yourself to discharge. It has long been known that reserved people who hide their feelings from others are susceptible to diseases such as stroke and heart attack. Those who splash out their emotions on others at every opportunity save their cardiovascular system. Only at the expense of the nervous system of others. How can one learn to give vent to emotions without causing harm to others?

There is a proven way to discharge - tears. They are the healing response to the human body that brings temporary relief. If you are embarrassed to cry in public, then there is no need to be ashamed of tears in front of yourself. Cry more often, and more until this need passes.

Having a conversation partner is a proven way to get rid of negative emotions. Tell a friend or loved one what is happening to you.

There is a special technique: you talk about failures, unfair treatment of others towards you, etc., first to a loved one (spouse, mother), then to a neighbor, friend, girlfriend, anyone who agrees to listen to you. The intensity of emotions will decrease each time. And if at first you told the story tearfully and your voice broke from sobs, in the end you will tell the same event more calmly.

If you haven’t found an interlocutor, then perhaps a psychotherapist or psychologist will do.

A real-life example: I once chose tours to the USA, spent a long time selecting the program, accommodation and hotels, excursions. This was supposed to be my best vacation ever - a month of exciting travel around the United States. But for unknown reasons, my vacation was canceled - and all my prepayments for all tourist services, air travel were burned, my visa was burned... My grief knew no bounds, I was angry, nervous, subconsciously and sometimes even consciously spoiled my work - and even got sick from the negativity, which “corroded” my soul. In the end, my friends sent me to a psychologist, the person referred me, helped me free myself from anger both at my boss and at work. Then I simply changed my job, planned a tour to the USA again and spent an unforgettable vacation. Everything was fine, but we just needed to talk!

Having experienced any emotion, a person must express it in thoughts, facial expressions, gestures, and actions. This is the nature of emotions, they originate in us and manifest through us. If an emotion is not expressed, it means that it is suppressed. Suppression of emotions is a mental process in which a person does not allow his emotions to manifest themselves.

As noted in, negative emotions negatively affect a person and destroy his life and health. A short-term outbreak of negative emotion cannot cause significant harm to a person’s health.

Only frequent experiences of fear, despondency, anger, sadness and similar emotions lead to mental and physical health disorders. This condition is caused by constant suppression of emotions.

The process of suppressing emotions can be divided into several stages, according to the degree of damage to human health:

Control of emotions

We have to control our emotions when expressing them is inappropriate or will lead to undesirable consequences.

Most readers have probably had occasions when, during their student years, they had to suppress laughter during lectures, otherwise the teacher might get angry and kick him out of the classroom. Or there is a meeting at work, where the boss does not show himself in the best way, and if you try to object to him, you can make an enemy for yourself or can be fired altogether.

Control of emotions in itself cannot be called something bad; on the contrary, this quality allows all people to coexist peacefully. A timely, restrained outburst of anger or discontent can save a person from many problems in life.

If a person, after an event when he had to control his emotions through an effort of will, does not find a way to express them, cannot relieve stress, or free himself from accumulated negativity, then his attention becomes fixated on the negative experience.

From time to time, a person remembers a stressful situation, reliving the experienced emotions, causing his body to experience pain.

Muffling feelings

This stage begins when we do not find a way to let go of our negative experiences. Feelings of guilt, shame, resentment or self-pity constantly attract our attention to the events of the past. Time after time, we have to experience heartache again.

None of us want to live with the feeling of pain every day, so we begin to dull our feelings. We begin to suppress painful sensations, as if not to feel them. In a state of dull pain, a person finds relief, but it is only temporary.

You cannot deceive nature; suppressed emotions require expression. Clogged emotions, unable to find a way out, begin to destroy a person’s body, depleting his vitality.

Sooner or later, a mentally exhausted person will no longer be able to contain the accumulated negativity within himself, and then the dam will break, emotions will find their expression in quarrels, scandals, and mental breakdowns.

Extreme suppression

At this stage, a person has been suppressing his feelings and emotions for a long time. Since emotions do not allow one to forget about themselves, they have to be suppressed even more. A person drowns out his feelings, his negative experiences and emotions associated with them as much as possible, trying to lock them in the deepest basement of his subconscious.

To achieve this, various forms of suppression are used: alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking, overeating, and the like. Almost all bad habits can be used. Until a person stops the process of suppressing emotions, it is impossible for him to get rid of his vices.

The process of self-destruction is activated and manifests itself externally in the form of stress, absurd accidents and bad luck. Imagine a kettle on the stove, in which water is constantly boiling, and there is nowhere for the hot steam to escape.

Likewise, a person is literally seething with suppressed emotions, but he himself no longer feels it, does not realize it. The internal state is manifested in events and in the medical record. In appearance, such a person is calm, balanced, but the liver is in trouble and often tense situations occur nearby, people swear or fight.

At this level of suppression, serious health problems occur. Negative emotions are increasingly manifested in mental breakdowns. The human world is changing, the colors of life are dimming, everything is annoying.

Is it worth giving vent to emotions if they can lead to a scandal? Or is it better to accumulate negativity in yourself and live “peacefully and amicably”?

The manifestation of negativity is a vicious circle.

We get irritated, release negative emotions, and they “infect” the other person. And even if our negativity was processed by someone, it will definitely return a little later. Have you noticed? This is the law of the Universe.

So what to do? Suppress negativity or give vent to emotions?

Both do not give anything good!

If you suppress negativity, it will not go away. Negative energy will concentrate in some part of the body, forming an energy block there. Later, physical discomfort will arise in this place, and if nothing is done, some kind of disease will appear.

By the way, Louise Hay¹ even created a special table of diseases corresponding to certain negative conditions.

From one letter...

“I feel depressed in my family... I let myself be used for a long time. It seems to me that the pain in my heart is directly related to my family.”

What happens if you let the negativity out?

If you give vent to emotions, a chain reaction is triggered.

Having given off a negative charge, a person calms down for a while, but, as a rule, later the negative returns to him many times stronger. In addition, both family and interpersonal relationships suffer from the manifestation of negativity.

There is only one way out!

Deal with negativity as soon as it arises. The technique I talked about can help with this.

How can you get rid of the grievances, pain and irritation that have already accumulated during your life together?

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Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material

¹ Louise Hay is one of the founders of the self-help movement, the author of more than 30 books of popular psychology, including the world-famous book You Can Heal Your Life ("You can heal your life") (